I hadn't been in this forum in a while, so forgive the lateness of the response, but I do send my heartfelt condolences to you. I know that this must be a very difficult time, but I hope you always realise, from this message and the ones previous, that you have a place here where you can come and say what you feel, what's on your mind and be accepted and comforted. All my best to you and those close to you.