getting down on the first night?

[TIERAsta]

Quote:

Originally Posted by FullWroth I think if two consenting adults are honest with each other about what they expect out of it and what the consequences might be or not be, they can do whatever they want on the first night, or any other night. It's when people start lying to each other that I start to find things unacceptable, like if a person with an STD, especially one of the more dangerous ones, is sleeping around and not telling his/her partners that s/he has it beforehand, or something to that end.

I totally agree. Personally, it's not something I think I would do... it takes me a little longer than one night to get comfortable enough with a person to take that step... but if it suits your feelings/thoughts/situation, go for it.

 

[iio]

I've only got it "down" with one guy. We were just going to the movies and he was going to take me home after that. But our horomones exploded! haha he was SO HOT! I couldnt resist. But we only talked for a short while, saw eachother a few times. It was only physical but I wouldnt suggest anyone doing it all the time.

 

[Brittni]

I understand things happen, but it's kind of gross to me. I would very strongly discourage it as I disagree with the statement of "sometimes you can catch feelings," moreso I feel it DISCOURAGES actual feelings -- and if that is what you are looking for, fine I guess, but personally I am a long-term relationship kind of girl so I wouldn't do it with somebody on the first night because it almost always seems it makes a guy think of a girl negatively and not as more than just some b00ty.

 

[snowflakelashes]

Can't speak for anyone else really, I know how I am, and I'm not good at hook-ups. I'm just emotional, and I connect physical contact with emotional affections. It's just how I'm wired, and that really drives me nuts sometimes and I wish I could be carefree like some people I know and just... go with it. But its just not how I was built... ~L~

 

[Lapis]

I think that most people just jump to the conclusion, your first date means you barely know the person, I'd meet my dh like 4 months before we had sex, we'd taken out our friends trying to get them to hook up, I'd try to set him up with a couple of my friends, he'd come to my poetry readings, he'd gone drinking with my weird ass friends, his boy was my friend, we knew each other, but it was our first date, I can say oh I slept with him after 4 months but I'd be lying.
That was the first time he'd asked me out, that was our first date, yes we had sex, and it was good, and it's sorta fortunate that we did, because we had sex and it was amazing! so we kept on having it and after 2 months it was obvious to everyone that it wasn't just a booty call thing, 3 months in he knew I was "the one" and asked me to marry him, after 4 months in he had to leave my country suddenly, we didn't see each other for 3 years!!
Yeah I could have played the game, and I wouldn't have the wonderful husband and life I have now, because just when I'd would have been able to have sex because "good girls wait" or whatever he would have left and there wouldn't have been that foundation of amazing chemistry and nights spent under the stars talking about absolutely nothing that created a bond that stood a damn long time apart, and became a pretty good foundation for our marriage.





Quote:

Originally Posted by Amber*Christine I've basically put out on the first date every.single.time lol, the only time I didn't was cause I didn't have a rubber. Sad I know, but I never got burned by doing so, every single guy asked me out afterwards, even when I considered it to be a one night stand...God I sound like a slut now! But it's not like I've been w/ a whole lot, I jus like to share the love ha-ha!

Can I ask, is it always the guy who makes the first move or do you do too?

 

[Amber*Christine]

I should prob. clear up the fact that I know almost all these men, (there hasn't been TONS or anything ), usually for a while beforehand, like theres a friendship thing going on, like an attraction, so by the time they work up the courage to ask me out or I do, then yeah we get down to it rather quickly. It's just happens that I've hooked up everytime on the first date. I don't think I've necessarily gone into it thinking, 'oh I'm gonna sleep w/ them tonite' it jus happens. I dunno I'm pretty young and just going through a stage or somethin. I was in two long term relationships since I was 15 though, so theres been few casual hookups. When it comes to making the first move, well it's almost always them, I just don't turn them down Guess I got a high sex drive and it's hard for me to put it off or somethin. But seeing as how I just got outta a relationship, if I meet someone who I can see myself wanting to be in a relationship with, like theres more there than just 'I think he's attractive and nice and what not', I'll prob. make him wait. But yeah, surprisingly I've never been disrespected or 'burnt' before when I've put out on a first date. I guess it wouldn't of made that big of a deal anyways as I kinda look at sex like a guy I've yet to tie any emotions to it.

 

[Arisone]

I say do it if you want to but be careful. It's your business. Personally,I do not pass judgment on anyone based on what they do in the bedroom (which is really none of my business anyway). I don't like labeling anyone a slut. I don't care if someone slept with 100 guys or girls. I just hope they used protection each time.

I agree with what Lapis stated. Most people think the first date is when you first met the person. It usually takes months (or in one case a year) before I even go out with a guy I'm interested in. It takes that long for me (or him) to work up the courage to ask lol. Yes, I have done it on the first date but not with a complete stranger. I don't think I could ever pick up a guy at a bar then go to his place to have sex. That's a bit too risky for me.

 

[chocolategoddes]

Quote:

Originally Posted by FullWroth Explain the bolded statement please?

lmao, i actually reread that and even i don't know what I meant.
I was probably high.

 

[Prinsesa]

Virginity is a HUGE deal with me, I lost it to my boyfriend and he had to wait of course. Don't get me wrong, I'm not the one who's quick to judge when my girls tells me "oh I just had a quickie with this random guy" etc. In my opinion, a lot of girls think that they can get a guy IF they have sex with them during the first night but sometimes it does not really work out that way, unless this guy fell in love with you at first sight or he's been trying to date you since highschool or something lol. Most of the times, the men think that you're a potential fuck buddy (and this is why they call after the date lol). I have a lot of guy friends and according to them, they OBVIOUSLY wouldn't pass on sex during the first night. But if a girl holds back, they would want to get with her until a few dates have passed and they got to know each other a little bit better and then they can either be:
A. Hooked on their personality
B. Wont mess around with her because she's a decent girl.

Plus I will ALWAYS connect sex with my emotions lol So those one night stands wouldnt even work for me lmao..Ever seen that picture where a womans heart is in her brain and a man's heart is on his penis? Yeeaaaaah.

Thats my 2cents LOL

P.S. Having sex/Making love for the first time doesn't compare to "eating ice cream or breaking a bone" for the first time lol It is SO much more. C'mon now. Lol.

 

[M.A.C. head.]

First of all, I love that song, LOL.

In my younger days that would have been something that I would do if I really liked the guy, but as I am now, it's not for me. Now that I've experienced sex in connection with emotion, I'd rather keep it sacred in that way.

 

[X4biddenxLustX]

It's okay in my opinion as long as your responsible and use protection. But thats not a 100% disease and pregnancy proof. But it might not even make a difference if you know the person better or not since sometimes people truly dont even have a clue that they may have an std or can be too embarass to admit it or just are asses and wont admit it. Point is if someone can easily lie about something like that they probably will.

I've done the sex on first night thing a few times before including when my lost my virginity. No I'm not proud of it or nor do I like the outcome of it since I tend to connect sex with emotion. So I guess for the people who have a hard time distinguishing the two then its probably not a good idea. Because you never know what the other person will think of you (not that it makes you a slut or whatever but people have a different idea of what makes someone a slut) or what they want (like do they want a serious relationship or just a bootycall?).

Thats sorta how I got into my current mess right now, I've been having sex with the same guy for a bit over 2 years now. Before we had sex we had known eachother for about a year and a half and always flirted and stuff. I was kind of always somewhat attracted to him which is why we were even able to talk for that long without even having sex. But it wasn't a bit after we finally had sex that I started to develop more serious feelings towards him. He refuses to be in a relationship though so yeah it sucks. I wish I knew what he wanted before we even decided to have sex so I would of either stopped talking to him or stopped having sex with him so I wouldn't be all attached to him now.

As for my thoughts on the qualifications for being a slut/ho/whore, I dont think the quantity is the main determining factor although if someone has racked up quite a large number its ALWAYS going to look bad no matter what. It does make you question if they may have possibly caught something cause they've exposed themselves to a larger amount of people. And it also makes you question what they want relationship wise, like are they just trying to hit it and thats it? Anyways I think that a person regardless of gender has sex with pretty much anyone and doesn't give a shit who it is and who there hurting then yes there definitely a ho/slut/whore.