Hit on in public places....

[Katura]

Sooo. I'm on my lunch break in downtown Annapolis, getting my usual starbucks iced coffe and sitting in the shade down near the water. (I really llike getting out of the stuffy office building) And this cop slows down while driving past...almost to a complete stop!

I get up after a few minnutes, make the short trek backto my car to find the cop walking up to me.

He stands there for about 5 minutes talking to me about how he's seen me somewhere before, probably down there, and I'm gorgeous....blah blah where do you work? Gooshy pick up stuff...

It's not the first time this stuff has happened....But it's a first that it was a police officer. hahahaha....

So...It's flattering ofcourse, but at the same time I get a little put off by it.

How do you all feel about it when things like this happen? :shrug:

 

[Wattage]

LOL... men!

The other day I was walking home from the gym and waiting for the light to change so I could cross. While waiting, a guy making a left-hand turn rolls down the window of his old Dodge Caravan and yowls at me!! I don't know what goes through some people's heads... like, what was he thinking - that this might be a good way to pick up a chick? Seriously, who goes for that kind of thing??

It's amazing I didn't take off my clothes right then and there!

 

[siam84]

Eh, I used to get bothered by it when I was much younger, like twelvish, but now I ignore the men. I have had people try to run me off the road to get my attention, morons.

 

[Raerae]

The way i look at it is... hey, at least i'm getting hit on =P I think i'd start to worry if random men stopped whistling out windows, making comments as I walk by, or approaching me.

I had a guy chase me up an escalator and ask me out 1/2 way to the 2nd floor at the Beverly Center Mall heh.

I've been asked out in all sorts of odd places. At the grochery store while shopping, making copies at kinko's, at 7-11 in line for the register lol...

Regardless it always makes me smile to myself after, nd it makes for fun stories to tell my friends heh.

 

[caffn8me]

I guess something similar happened to me. A couple of years ago after a flight back from the USA to London's Heathrow airport, I got stopped at customs. After a very quick check of my bags, the customs officer chatted for a few minutes and gave me his phone number!

 

[Katura]

i think its hilarious hearing about other peoples experience with this!

 

[Katura]

we're a bunch of hotties.

 

[x20Deepx]

Men are men, whether they're cops or not.

The catcalling is interminable in big cities. Everytime you turn the corner, there's a construction worker ready with a pick-up line. Honestly, if I'm walking down the block and I don't get hit on, I wonder if there's dirt on my face or something.

One of my friends gets really agitated over getting hit on, but I've grown to not care. It happens all the time and to everybody, so why freak out over it?

 

[caffn8me]

Quote:

Originally Posted by x20Deepx Men are men, whether they're cops or not.

and some cops are even human

 

[User34]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raerae The way i look at it is... hey, at least i'm getting hit on =P I think i'd start to worry if random men stopped whistling out windows, making comments as I walk by, or approaching me. I had a guy chase me up an escalator and ask me out 1/2 way to the 2nd floor at the Beverly Center Mall heh. I've been asked out in all sorts of odd places. At the grochery store while shopping, making copies at kinko's, at 7-11 in line for the register lol... Regardless it always makes me smile to myself after, nd it makes for fun stories to tell my friends heh.

Yea I didn't mind getting hit on before but now..two kids later I don't get hit on at all anymore. =(
I always took it as compliments unless the guys got perverted which, living in NYC happened most of the time! Then i'd give them a piece of my mind :shedevil:

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alumeze I always took it as compliments unless the guys got perverted which, living in NYC happened most of the time! Then i'd give them a piece of my mind :shedevil:

Heh the only thing that bothers me is when I get touched or grabbed and it's unwanted.

But evens thats like a hidden compliment...

Like when my butt gets grabbed at a club. Part of me is pissed that i got grabbed. The other part is going, "out of all the girls here he grabbed mine lol." I still give em dirty looks when i get grabbed though lol.

Cuz there is always that other side. We all have friends, or know someone who dosn't get whistled at, or hit on heh. And while Id never say it to her face, I'm glad I dont look like she does lol.

 

[caffn8me]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raerae Heh the only thing that bothers me is when I get touched or grabbed and it's unwanted. But evens thats like a hidden compliment...

that would make being raped a hidden compliment too wouldn't it? I simply don't think of unwanted physical attention as anything other than assault. Where do you draw the line?

A friend of mine was on the way to the bathroom/restroom/loo/toilet (select for your appropriate language

) when a complete stranger pushed her against the wall and put his hand up her skirt. My friend was too shocked to do anything at the time but if he'd done that to me he'd have found himself with a set of broken fingers and under arrest for assault.

 

[Raerae]

i think ultimateley it comes down to where i get touched, and who did the touching.

Getting my butt grabbed is par for the course when i go to a club. Sometimes you know who did it, other times you dont. I guess it just doesn'y bother me anymore since making a deal over it doesn't solve anything. It's not like I can prevent it from happening unless i had my back to the wall the entire time I was there.

Rape is a diif story because it involves going past the point of saying no, or involves physical violence. Same thing with your friends assault. He used physical force to restrain her while he touched her. Thats a bit diff than having someone pinch your rear while your dancing.

If i gave someone a dirty look, or told them to knock it off, and they kept doing it everytime they walked by and i wasn't looking, then there would be a problem.

 

[caffn8me]

This is going a little off topic but I guess I may be a little more wary of unwanted physical attention than some as I am asexual (not sexually attracted to guys, girls, animals, vegetables or electrically operated kitchen gadgets) and I was the victim of a non-sexual violent assault a few years ago on a train home from work. My attacker got 15 months in jail. I lost a tooth and ended up with a fractured larynx from where he tried to strangle me.

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by caffn8me This is going a little off topic but I guess I may be a little more wary of unwanted physical attention than some as I am asexual (not sexually attracted to guys, girls, animals, vegetables or electrically operated kitchen gadgets) and I was the victim of a non-sexual violent assaulted a few years ago on a train home from work. My attacker got 15 months in jail. I lost a tooth and ended up with a fractured larynx from where he tried to strangle me.

Sorry to hear that.

The more I was thinking about it the more i think it really just varies by person. Were all going to have different tolerances for different things depending on the situation, crowd, etc. It's like the government trying to regulate whats considered inapropriate for television, and they can't really define it other than, "I'll know it when I see it." I guess that same sense applies to physical contact. I'll know it when it happens. And that same sorta contact can be ok with one person, and completely inapropriate for another.

I've had my share of bad expierences as well. Most recent (and prolly the worst) happened this year back in January. I was out alone at a bar at a restaraunt (first mistake), and was flirting with an older guy for free drinks. At some point in the night i didn't feel well, and I'm not sure if it was from drinking (as i dont really think i had that much) or if I got sliped something. So when the guy left for the bathroom, i walked out the door. Apparently i blacked out while walking to my car, cuz I dont remember anything for a unknown amount of time but it coulnd't have been that long. All i know is I left the bar b4 10pm, because the dancefloor wasn't up yet. The next thing i knew, i was sitting on a bench with a guy who i didn't know, and he was kissing me. I can't even give you a description of him, i literally have no idea what he looks like. I only know it happened. And then the next moment he had his hand down my pants. I didn't know what to do, only that I was alone with a guy who was bigger than me, I was intoxicated, and that he wanted me to sleep with him, and i was afraid of what would happen if I said no.

The most disturbing part about that night to me isn't even when he made that move on me. But the fact that I dont have any memory of how I got into that position, or why. I know i tend to be flirty with the guys when i'm clubbin. But I really can't see myself getting involved with someone i met on the streets.

Thats my Nancy Grace moment =P

 

[Life In Return]

Although it is nice to have attention sometimes, you should still respect yourself. If someone is grabbing on you or sexually touching you w/o your permission, please respect yourself and know your self worth as a woman.

And also, I don't like getting hit on in a sexual manner because I know I deserve more respect than that. I cannot stand when guys say derogatory comments about my body as if it is supposed to be flattering to me... And I think it is sad when women accept that.

 

[battipatti]

I hate attention from all men save for my matthew, I got hit on at a thrift store earlier today! I mean come ooonnnn!! But whenever someone makes me feel uncomfortable I just tell my dad, who always goes everywhere with me and let him handle it

 

[stillsoawesome]

Uck. Men. Boys. Whatever. Cops in NYC are like this. They park outside the bar all us FIT girls go to cause they let us drink underage and watch, waiting for the drunker ones to approach the car. I guess just for entertainment? I'm not sure but it seems to me that its ridiculous that they'd be in a cop car on duty parked next to a place where theyre serving minors just for fun.. umm hello waste of tax dollars. Thats okay though, I'm 19 so I won't complain too loud

Also, People will seriously stare at you in Annapolis for no damn reason. Not even for hitting on purposes.. its just the kids do in Annapolis. I can't figure it out.. I never noticed till I left for NYC but now everytime I'm downtown its so obvious.

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by stillsoawesome Also, People will seriously stare at you in Annapolis for no damn reason. Not even for hitting on purposes.. its just the kids do in Annapolis. I can't figure it out.. I never noticed till I left for NYC but now everytime I'm downtown its so obvious.

Maybe there just people watching. We used to do that all the time on the Downtown strip in Santa Barbara. Get a table on the porch of Club 634 and just watch and make comments about all the diff people that walk by. Occasionally you'd get one of the local bums who would come up and make an ass of himself lol. We had one hop the fence and sit at our table once lol.

 

[stillsoawesome]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raerae Maybe there just people watching. We used to do that all the time on the Downtown strip in Santa Barbara. Get a table on the porch of Club 634 and just watch and make comments about all the diff people that walk by. Occasionally you'd get one of the local bums who would come up and make an ass of himself lol. We had one hop the fence and sit at our table once lol.

mm I dont think so... its not really the same as people watching.. itll be like a group of kids standing in a parking lot and theyll be laughing and talking but when you walk by atleast half of them will turn around from the group and stare you down. but i know what you mean about the bums! NYC subways are filled with bums and a lot of them are creepy but some of them are really crazy in a funny way and as long as youre not by yourself when they come up to you it can be quite entertaining!