Hit on in public places....

[user79]

It's flattering if you get hit on in a tactful way and if they accept no as an answer. It's annoying and bordering on harrassment if it's in a crass way and refuse to leave you alone.

One time I was on a train home (I live with my boyfriend) and this guy starts talking to me on the train. He was nice, just passing the time, we were just having a conversation. Not really in a flirty way at all. Then when we reached the destination, I bid him goodbye and he asked me out for coffee.

I declined and told him I have a boyfriend. Then the funny part is that he didn't believe me and was like, "Oh yeah right, all the girls say that." I was like, "No, I really have a boyfriend! I live with him and he's probably waiting for me at home." And he just kept pestering me, not believing me! (I guess he gets turned down a lot!) Talk about not getting the drift!

Then in the end I pulled out my cell phone, and said to him, "Look, I'm going to call my bf right now and you can talk to him, and see how he likes the idea of you taking me out for coffee? Or why don't you just come home with me and I'll introduce you."

I think at that point he got that I was serious and finally fucked off. It was hilarious and annoying at the same time.

 

[user79]

Oh yeah, and I think touching or lewd comments about my body is too far and I am not shy to tell them to leave me alone. I was at a club once dancing, my boyfriend went to the toilet for a second and I continued dancing, and some guy brushed by me and stuck his hand right between my crotch!!! I was wearing jeans but still, it was fucking gross! I turned around and punched him, and he just disappeared in the crowd. No one really saw what happened and I didnt see him again for the rest of the night (it was a big club) so I couldn't do anything more. When I told my bf he was really mad that any man would do that, it's just so disgusting and violating one's personal space.

I've had my ass slapped by a close male friend before but that's hardly the same thing, it was a joke.

 

[Tyester]

Quote:

Originally Posted by x20Deepx Men are men, whether they're cops or not.

This is a big one, but also remember that we don't all act the same.

:continue thread:

 

[caffn8me]

Good point Tyester. I've been hit on in a perfectly polite, flattering and non-threatening way many times. There are just a few bad apples

 

[Shimmer]

My only catch is be respectful, or as I did in a club a couple of years ago, I'll break a hand.
I was dancing and the guy kept grabbingme, I removed his hand, he grabbed me again, removed it again, grabbed me again, I snapped his first two fingers.
*shrug*
Shit happens.
That said, when the line is approached and the lady says no, the gentleman in question needs to respect it.




Which brings us to another level of this discussion:
For those of us (male and female) who have children...isn't it our responsibility to teach them how to handle themselves with dignity and respect?

 

[Tyester]

Quote:

Originally Posted by caffn8me Good point Tyester. I've been hit on in a perfectly polite, flattering and non-threatening way many times. There are just a few bad apples

Just trying to stick up for the good and not-so-bad guys out there...

 

[MissMarley]

so, yesterday i was walking out of the bookstore, and these two guys were playing a duet on the cello and bongos- it sounds weird, but it was fabulous. i told them how good the music was and dropped some money in their case, and one of them said "heheh- you don't have to give us anything, you already made my day" and then turned to his partner and said "was that too obvious?" and then they laughed at me all the way back to my car.

i didn't like it. i was trying to be nice, and they hurt my feelings.

 

[Shimmer]

I don't understand...I mean, not that I'm trying to be rude, I just don't understand why you say they were laughing at you...it sounds like they were flirting with you...was it their tones of voice?

 

[MissMarley]

Quote:

Originally Posted by shimmer I don't understand...I mean, not that I'm trying to be rude, I just don't understand why you say they were laughing at you...it sounds like they were flirting with you...was it their tones of voice?

yeah. it was the tone of voice-it wasn't light, happy flirting-it felt dirty, almost- and they kept yelling and laughing while i walked away. i don't mind being flirted with, but turning a simple compliment about music into embarassing me as i walk away (because some elderly people stopped to see where the noise was coming from), i didn't appreciate.

 

[Wattage]

Yeah that is pretty lame. Sounds like they were embarrassed that they were such dorks so they tried to make you feel like it was you who made the faux pas when in fact it was them

 

[Shimmer]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissMarley yeah. it was the tone of voice-it wasn't light, happy flirting-it felt dirty, almost- and they kept yelling and laughing while i walked away. i don't mind being flirted with, but turning a simple compliment about music into embarassing me as i walk away (because some elderly people stopped to see where the noise was coming from), i didn't appreciate.

that I can understand.

Jerks.

 

[MxAxC-_ATTACK]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raerae Maybe there just people watching. We used to do that all the time on the Downtown strip in Santa Barbara. Get a table on the porch of Club 634 and just watch and make comments about all the diff people that walk by. Occasionally you'd get one of the local bums who would come up and make an ass of himself lol. We had one hop the fence and sit at our table once lol.

haha we had a guy start yelling at a friend of mine at club 634, a bum( I THINK . he looked like a bum) but he was just drunk as hell and he was saying how he was gonna kick his ass. haha. o man. santa barbara at night. is a way differnt place than santa barbara during the day.

 

[Raerae]

Haha yah...

I like 634 for a daytime place. That or Sharky's for their happyhour. Else most nights it was always the Shitty Kitty, kicking it on the enclose patio.

Or occasionally if we wanted to fake being in LA, we'd hit up Indochine lol... Tom Adams and Christian lol...

 

[pugmommy7]

I am a weirdo magnet.
I have never been hit on or asked out by a stranger that i would ever consider dating or am attracted to.
i have only ever dated people that I already know or have met before through a friend.
I am married and have been with my husband for 14 years(married5) so that makes a difference as well.
There is a freak from the grocery store where I shop who has hit on me twice and is bizarre to say the least. he gets right in my face and says:
"I like ladies with tattoos. I wanna take ya out."
I tell him I am married-Once I even had the kids with me(???)
It makes me feel so weird.

Only once at the gym did a really sweet guy ask me out- who I may have actually dated-and did not seem like a possible serial killer

He said, something along the lines of "Would you like to go out sometime" and when i told him I was involved he said, "well of course a girl as pretty as you would have a boyfriend."
I was really flattered.
but by and large they are wackadoos!

 

[Lalli]

i went cinemas with my bf today and i managed to get a sweet stuck in ma newly cut hair grr so i went off to the toilets to sort it out as i came out these two dudes were looking at me n one whistled i was like err

and i used to have this dude follow me around wherever i went and sometimes on a busy road cars let me pass and if they have rowdy boys in em they always beep their horn

before i would have like retaliated and said sommet like f off but now im like waeva

 

[Lalli]

oh and i got called a moody b ithc by this one dude coz i wudnt talk 2 him i was like

woah and rippd into infront of his m8s n he hangs his head in shame wen he sees me nw hehe

 

[Beauty Mark]

I've had situations where the guy gets pissed beyond belief by me either ignoring him or saying 'No.' I'm a small girl, and since I don't want to raped/assaulted/killed (not saying it would be my fault, but there are preventive measures that can be taken), I usually tell the guy I'm engaged or have a boyfriend who plays football, rugby, or wrestles. That has yet to fail.

A compliment is one thing, but if you're going to touch me or become so enraged that I'm not fawning over you, I'd rather have no attention.

I consider buying a fake engagement or wedding ring sometimes in hopes that I won't even have to talk to some of these jerks.

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beauty Mark I consider buying a fake engagement or wedding ring sometimes in hopes that I won't even have to talk to some of these jerks.

There still gonna talk to you. I've been hit on by men with wedding rings more times than i can remember. So you think you wearing a ring is gonna stop them?

 

[Beauty Mark]

My married friends claim that they don't get hit on as much, and they're always wearing their rings. At least in my experience, the guys I encounter don't want to mess with someone else's girl. A ring would be a fast way of identifying that.

 

[Shimmer]

I managed a BRIDAL STORE.
And the grooms would hit on me while their fiancee was trying on the dress.