how do you feel about

[hello_my_apple]

i hear you girl!


Quote:

Originally Posted by BeccalovesMAC You have a good man. If I told my fiance that he wasn't allowed to go to those places, he would prob just go behind my back. I don't like being 'controlled'(bad ex who controlled me). I don't tell my bf what he cant or can not do. What I meant by my comment was that these places are not going away.

 

[AliVix1]

what bothers me is the double standard of it all. we are in a society where its socially acceptable for men to do this, but its not the same for women. yeah i know we have male strip clubs but not as many, not to mention they are WAYYY more expensive than women strip clubs, and i feel its just not as accepted as it is for men. you dont see women having business meetings at chippendales, and if u do its nowhere near as common/accepted as business meetings @ the penthouse club. for an occasion like a bachelor party or something i dont think id tell my bf he "cant go," but to be honest it would bother me on some level, especially bc i know it wouldnt be ok with him if i went somewhere that guys were rubbing their naked Ds on me. i dunno, bottom line i think communication and honesty about whats ok for you is really what matters. im just so happy that im lucky enough to be in a relationship with great communication and respect for eachothers feelings, that things like this usually arent an issue.

 

[LC]

wow I feel so conservative reading everyone's answers. It would really bother me. The way I see it is if a man is committed to you and loves you, he should truly have no desire to look at another woman. To me, him wanting to go would be just as bad as him actually going. Obviously I'm crazy since like everyone else here wouldnt care at all ;/

 

[QueenBam]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MACPixie I wouldn't care if he went, I'd be pissed if he spend money on lap dances.

this!

 

[claralikesguts]

Quote:

Originally Posted by baci wow I feel so conservative reading everyone's answers. It would really bother me. The way I see it is if a man is committed to you and loves you, he should truly have no desire to look at another woman. To me, him wanting to go would be just as bad as him actually going. Obviously I'm crazy since like everyone else here wouldnt care at all ;/

i agree with you 100%.

 

[Meisje]

Quote:

Originally Posted by baci wow I feel so conservative reading everyone's answers. It would really bother me. The way I see it is if a man is committed to you and loves you, he should truly have no desire to look at another woman. To me, him wanting to go would be just as bad as him actually going. Obviously I'm crazy since like everyone else here wouldnt care at all ;/

You shouldn't feel as though a difference of opinion with the majority makes you crazy. You are entitled to your opinion. It seems like you've based it on your set of values (as opposed to hatred, irrational fear or jealousy), so it doesn't matter what works for anyone else. Another couple might go together, or the woman might endorse the man going, but every couple is different and you shouldn't feel like you have to change your values to fit in with everyone else.

AlixVix1: The double standard of it all bothers me as well.

I'm very glad that I'm with someone who feels the same way I do about it.

 

[Enchantedcameo]

Quote:

Originally Posted by baci wow I feel so conservative reading everyone's answers. It would really bother me. The way I see it is if a man is committed to you and loves you, he should truly have no desire to look at another woman. To me, him wanting to go would be just as bad as him actually going. Obviously I'm crazy since like everyone else here wouldnt care at all ;/

I completely agree with you. From a moral standpoint I would have a serious problem with it. He married me and if he truly loves me he wouldn't desire attention from another woman. There shoud be only 3 people in a marriage, husband, wife and god.

 

[sweetbabyblue]

I know mine doesn't go, he's told me before he's not interested and also his friend's are more interested in their computers than in going out anywhere.
But I wouldn't mind if he went as long as he didn't spend his cash on lapdances, oh, and if he would tell me about it afterwards cause I am a little curious

One another note

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeccalovesMAC ^Seriously that sounds really immature. If you man is over 21 he has probably already done it already. Hes probably already paid to motorboat some bitches boobs already. Yes, most NORMAL men only go a few times. To say you couldn't ever look at him again knowing that he paid for a lap dance, sounds childish.

While I did find the post a little unrealistic for 80% of the population, I think your comment was a little harsh. It is unnecessary to say their opinion is immature and childish and it can come across as condescending.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeccalovesMAC some of the girls are sounding possessive/controlling. Be real. You dad,brothers,uncles,grandpas and cousins probably go to these places. you can be cool with it or not be cool with it. Men are always gonna go to these places regardless if you like it or not.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and you did ask for our thoughts and feelings, it shouldnt be dominated by one view and critical of others


I'm not trying to pick on you, I do respect your opinion and I have read many of your posts in other threads it's just that those two above posts really stood out to me

 

[LMD84]

Quote:

Originally Posted by baci wow I feel so conservative reading everyone's answers. It would really bother me. The way I see it is if a man is committed to you and loves you, he should truly have no desire to look at another woman. To me, him wanting to go would be just as bad as him actually going. Obviously I'm crazy since like everyone else here wouldnt care at all ;/

no way are you 'conservative' just because you have different thoughts on this to others. i'd love to think my hubby has no desire to look at another woman! he tells me he doesn't - not sure if i believe it though! i mean i look at other guys sometimes - be it a celebrity or a hot guy on the bus!

so perhaps it is unrealistic of me to want him to have no desire to look at other women when i do it myself!

 

[BeccalovesMAC]

Quote:

Originally Posted by sweetbabyblue I know mine doesn't go, he's told me before he's not interested and also his friend's are more interested in their computers than in going out anywhere. But I wouldn't mind if he went as long as he didn't spend his cash on lapdances, oh, and if he would tell me about it afterwards cause I am a little curious One another note While I did find the post a little unrealistic for 80% of the population, I think your comment was a little harsh. It is unnecessary to say their opinion is immature and childish and it can come across as condescending. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and you did ask for our thoughts and feelings, it shouldnt be dominated by one view and critical of others I'm not trying to pick on you, I do respect your opinion and I have read many of your posts in other threads it's just that those two above posts really stood out to me

No, I dont think my comment was harsh. To say that she could never even look at her BF if he got a lap dance sounds really childish. That comment sounded UNREALISTIC! Your right. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. That was my opinion on her comment. Dont worry you didnt sound like you were picking on me.

 

[Meisje]

Responding to the stipulation that all male relatives go --- My father abhors strip clubs. I overheard a bunch of my uncles (married to my Mom's sisters) trying to convince him to go, that it would be fun. They got really childish and called him a wuss and whipped and my Dad (who is neither of those, believe me!) said that it was his own decision, that he found those places tacky and disgusting and No Thanks, Period. Then he stayed home with me and watched Monty Python.

 

[BeccalovesMAC]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Meisje Responding to the stipulation that all male relatives go --- My father abhors strip clubs. I overheard a bunch of my uncles (married to my Mom's sisters) trying to convince him to go, that it would be fun. They got really childish and called him a wuss and whipped and my Dad (who is neither of those, believe me!) said that it was his own decision, that he found those places tacky and disgusting and No Thanks, Period. Then he stayed home with me and watched Monty Python.

lol i *think* my dad goes. lol i think its hilarious> different strokes for different folks

 

[GlamBrunette]

How could you call someone childish for not wanting her man to pay some other woman to get naked for him? Just because your cool with it doesn't mean your any more ''mature'' then she may be. You sound like an idiot honestly.

 

[Meisje]

I think your reaction depends on your perception. Some are fine with their significant others paying to have sexual contact with another woman. Some feel that it's cheating.

I can see value in both arguments, but I definitely feel it's a ridiculous loophole in fidelity. Why it's okay for a man to pay for sexual interaction with another woman, but it's not okay if he doesn't pay --- I can't make that distinction, and like a lot of other things in our culture, refuse to accept it just because "that's the way it is." I also was friends with a guy who worked in a strip bar and there was a very high instance of private room encounters ending in prostitution. I'm sure that's not true for all clubs, but for this one, it most definitely was. Yuck.

But if it's truly a non-issue in a relationship, and the woman doesn't mind or perhaps likes to participate, then that's great for them.

 

[BeccalovesMAC]

Quote:

Originally Posted by GlamBrunette How could you call someone childish for not wanting her man to pay some other woman to get naked for him? Just because your cool with it doesn't mean your any more ''mature'' then she may be. You sound like an idiot honestly.

no, I sound like an idiot. I do feel that the comment sounded childish. Girl, I dont have to defend my actions. I feel SECURE enough in my relationship to allow my man to go to these places. You only live once..You sound possessive.

 

[purrtykitty]

This is a very personal subject, and everyone is entitled to their opinion. Let's not let this thread devolve into name calling, personal attacks, etc. They are just that, opinions, as this is obviously a very subjective topic.

I find the view-points expressed by everyone to be very interesting.

 

[Meisje]

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeccalovesMAC I feel SECURE enough in my relationship to allow my man to go to these places.

It's not always an issue of security, though.

We all have things that cause to be attracted to or not attracted to someone. For instance, someone might not be as attracted to a mate if that mate were clingy, if it was revealed that mate had done something horrible to an ex, or if they saw that mate being cruel to an animal.

For me, being a regular at a strip bar is a huge turn off, just like kicking a dog or constantly bad breath would be.

So it's not that I don't date those who go because I am insecure (although I do consider a lapdance cheating and excusing it because they pay for it isn't logical for me --- so the act of getting a lapdance is, for me, out of bounds).

It's a huge turn off for me. I don't want to date a guy who wants to pay for female attention. I would find it really hard to be intimate with a guy who likes to go out and pay women to grope them.

 

[Meisje]

Browser hiccup posted my reply twice >

 

[MzzRach]

Quote:

Originally Posted by purrtykitty This is a very personal subject, and everyone is entitled to their opinion. Let's not let this thread devolve into name calling, personal attacks, etc. They are just that, opinions, as this is obviously a very subjective topic. I find the view-points expressed by everyone to be very interesting.

Agreed. Please keep the discussion civil. We encourage open discussion, but personal attacks and name calling are not tolerated.

Thank you.

 

[snkatha]

i wouldn't mind it if it's a once in a while thing. i think it's something guys like to do for fun. it'd be a big problem however if it became a every weekend thing because then i'd worry about our relationship. he can go for special occasions like a bachelors party or birthday or something.