I don't know what to do anymore...

[mzjae]

thanks ladies for everything. everything is fine now. i'm doing ok. my boyfriend and i are trying to work things out. he was there for me for part of the day, not when i first starting cramping and whatnot, but nonetheless he was there. the things that were said between us can't be taken back so all we can do is just compromise with things and make this work. this relationship deserves another chance. sigh the only issue we have now is the money thing. -__- but yeah thanks again everyone.

 

[knoxydoll]

Glad to hear you're felling better and that you two are working things out.

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mzjae thanks ladies for everything. everything is fine now. i'm doing ok. my boyfriend and i are trying to work things out. he was there for me for part of the day, not when i first starting cramping and whatnot, but nonetheless he was there. the things that were said between us can't be taken back so all we can do is just compromise with things and make this work. this relationship deserves another chance. sigh the only issue we have now is the money thing. -__- but yeah thanks again everyone.

The fact that he argued with you at all about being with you, and still went out to party speaks volumes for his priorities. Relationships involve you both, not just both of you when he feels like it. He was probably only there because of his other friends making him feel guilty about it. How many, "2nd chances" do people get. I know I have plenty of "dealbreakers" that are 1 strike and your out. Your situation would have been one of them.

Anyone that puts blame on you like he did, doesn't deserve you. the fact he took the, "It's all your fault" attitude is a cop out. FYI you could be on BC, and STILL get pregnant. It's not 100%. His attitude towards that is inescuseable.

He's just your boyfriend, not your Husband. I'd say use this as a lesson in what you DON'T want in a man. And find a man that will treat you right when these things happen. And maybe it will give him a little heas up in how NOT to treat a woman.

 

[mzcelaneous]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raerae I know I have plenty of "dealbreakers" that are 1 strike and your out. Your situation would have been one of them.

Heck yes. You "working things out" with him just gives him the opportunity to be able to do it again in the future. He's the classic jerk. I can see him taking advantage of you in the future. Sorry for being so pessimistic, but I know way too many people in relationships like that.

 

[Raerae]

Yeh reminds me of plenty of mine ;p As sad as that is LOL...

I know plenty of my ex's would have treated me like shit had I gotten pregnant. I'm glad I didn't, and I dont envy your situation at all

 

[MxAxC-_ATTACK]

its kind of a "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice shame on me "type deal. My b.f pisses me off sometimes. but that situation would Definitly be a deal breaker for me. It does take "Two to Tango" you know? He wants to blame it on YOU? HA! he was 1/2 of that situation as well

 

[Beauty Mark]

Quote:

He's just your boyfriend, not your Husband.

Even if he were her husband, that isn't acceptable behavior. I believe in working problems out in a marriage, but that's just asking for a breakup, no matter if you're legally bound to each other.

 

[Moppit]

I know love is blind but you really need to take off the blinders and open your eyes. If he was this insensitive about terminating a pregnancy (and I consider that pretty serious) what will he be like with other issues that are not as serious? Why would you want to stay with a 'boy' that couldn't be with you through the whole procedure? Birthdays come and go but this was a life altering decision for you and he took no responsibility. I know it is your life and you can do what you want but I really think you need to remember how you felt going through most of this alone while he was out having fun. In my opinion this guy doesn't deserve anymore chances because he used them all up and then some by not being with you when you needed him the most.

Sorry to be so harsh but a leopard doesn't change his spots.

 

[Shimmer]

No one here can tell you what you should or shouldn't do in a relationship, but itwould definitely behoove you to think about everything that's gone on, how it made you feel, and what you want out of the relationship.
Good luck.

 

[mzjae]

I really appricate you ladies taking the time out to give me relationship advice. As of now, we are really trying to work things out. Like LadyLocks said, this is something that'll make or break our relationship. We had our disagreements with each other, we both hurt each other. We realized that we both didn't handle the situation properly. He got angry at the situation & took it out wrong. Everyone does something stupid out of anger like that, I know I have. Nonetheless, he took responsibility & was there with me the day it happened. He didn't have a car or anything & started to walk over to my house to be with me until his friend saw him & dropped him off. He was there for me up until he had to be with his family which I totally understand because family does come first.

Right now things between us are starting to look up. We are talking, compromising, changing each other's attitudes, etc. He's being a good boyfriend again.

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mzjae He was there for me up until he had to be with his family which I totally understand because family does come first.

Babe... When your pregnant with his child, abortion or not, your family...

 

[Shimmer]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mzjae I totally understand because family does come first. Right now things between us are starting to look up. We are talking, compromising, changing each other's attitudes, etc. He's being a good boyfriend again.

Of course. The hard part's over.

When you're exchanging bodily fluids with another person in a monogamous and commited relationship, that person's needs, particularly in a time like the one you've gone through, come first, above and beyond anything else, barring Mom or Dad or sibling dying.

 

[Janice]

Thank you for sharing this difficult experience with us. There is so much about life to learn from one another. I'm going to go ahead and close the topic as it seems you have gained some peace and are trying to move forward now.