Im really lost and i need advice. someone... pls help
- Thread starter xxainixx
- Start date
FiestyFemme
Well-known member
Quote:
Quote:
I'm positive that you're not nearly as alone as you think!
Originally Posted by Shimmer
You're not alone. 
|
Quote:
| Originally Posted by NutMeg
Call them. They're probably worried about you. I would be. |
.k.
Well-known member
I hope that you find the strength within to do what needs to be done and leave him. You are worth MORE than this and if you dont fend for yourself who will? Please leave this unhealthy relationship! Deep down inside you must discover your self worth! much love ! let us know how it goes!
PuterChick
Well-known member
STAY STRONG!! If your lonely and feeling the urge to contact him, do something else. Go to the movies, a coffee shop, shopping, anything but do not call him. It just takes time and you will feel better. We all have been thru this at one time or another and have survived it. You are not alone.
msaesthetic
Well-known member
He's probably acting that way because he wants you to feel like it was nothing.
he sounds like scum, for real.
try and focus on what makes you happy girl, cause he's done some damage & now it's time to heal.
he sounds like scum, for real.
try and focus on what makes you happy girl, cause he's done some damage & now it's time to heal.
stacylynne
Well-known member
He hits you & your saying it's not that bad????? Sweetie, this is only the beginining it will only get worse. This guy is a pansy b/c he's a grown man hitting a female. I'm sure he would never raise his hands to a man that's twice his size.
GET OUT NOW, listen to what everyone is telling you here. His mom knows about this.
He has the problem, not you, He needs major therapy. Nobody has the right to put their hands on you. If you are in a relationship, he/she are suppose to be your equal/partner.
GET OUT NOW B4 IT GETS WORSE. Like I said this is only the begining. Do not think for 1 minute that he hits u b/c he cares about you. I don't care how many times he tells you sorry or buy you gifts. You communicate how you feel you do not raise your hand to anyone.
All of Specktra are here for you & we have your back. Please keep us updated. I will tell you again, break up w/ him if he threatens you get a restraining order against him. This in not to be taken lightly.
GET OUT NOW, listen to what everyone is telling you here. His mom knows about this.
He has the problem, not you, He needs major therapy. Nobody has the right to put their hands on you. If you are in a relationship, he/she are suppose to be your equal/partner.
GET OUT NOW B4 IT GETS WORSE. Like I said this is only the begining. Do not think for 1 minute that he hits u b/c he cares about you. I don't care how many times he tells you sorry or buy you gifts. You communicate how you feel you do not raise your hand to anyone.
All of Specktra are here for you & we have your back. Please keep us updated. I will tell you again, break up w/ him if he threatens you get a restraining order against him. This in not to be taken lightly.
MACLovin
Well-known member
Quote:
I think he's showing you exactly what you meant to him.. and I'm not saying this to hurt your feelings, but look at the way he has acted from the beginning all the way through the relationship. Do you think someone who hit you, ever loved or cared about you? I think you were being used, and I'm glad that you got out. I know it sucks to be alone right now, but I agree with NutMeg.. if you still know how to contact your old friends, please do. It will be in your best interest to surround yourself with caring people who actually give a shit about your well-being. Yes, you may have cut them off and maybe they resent that a little bit. But I'm sure they can understand that you were in a bad situation and have gotten yourself out, and you need them. If they are or were true friends they will be there for you. If not, spend time with family, or just go do something nice for yourself, to make YOU feel better.
And remember we are all here for you if you need to talk, vent, whatever.
Hope it gets better by the day.. You'll be alright just hang in there girlie.
| Originally Posted by xxainixx
UPDATE: it still hurts alot! i cant slp ( have not for 2 daly ) cant eat.. i keep thinking of him.. i dont have any friends... i cut off all contact with friends when i was with him. HOW THE FU*K can he be so nonchalent. dont i mean anything to him? it's like, now, im left alone in the world |
I think he's showing you exactly what you meant to him.. and I'm not saying this to hurt your feelings, but look at the way he has acted from the beginning all the way through the relationship. Do you think someone who hit you, ever loved or cared about you? I think you were being used, and I'm glad that you got out. I know it sucks to be alone right now, but I agree with NutMeg.. if you still know how to contact your old friends, please do. It will be in your best interest to surround yourself with caring people who actually give a shit about your well-being. Yes, you may have cut them off and maybe they resent that a little bit. But I'm sure they can understand that you were in a bad situation and have gotten yourself out, and you need them. If they are or were true friends they will be there for you. If not, spend time with family, or just go do something nice for yourself, to make YOU feel better.
And remember we are all here for you if you need to talk, vent, whatever.
mrslisettecg
Active member
Its so easy to say "just leave him", but in reality abusive relationships are very hard to leave. I myself was in one before i met my husband. These men from my expereince put such fear in you and make you feel worthless and make you feel like your nothing with out them. So you end up feeling like they are all you have, and the abuse turns into well they do it cuz they love me,and oh he just hit me that one time or he doesnt hit me with a closed fist, I know all this i did and thought it myself, I know that sounds ridiculous to most and to me now, but when your involved with that type of person it just makes sense.
The only advice i can offer is you need to love yourself and unerstand that your worth way more then him, when you realize that your worth something you'll look at him and think what the hell am I thinking staying with him!Trust me its what i had to realize to get away from my ex.
Once some one hits you it never stops, and if you stay you will think of a million reasons to justify it because that is what these type of men do, they make you truly believe you deserve it, and no one deserves it
The only advice i can offer is you need to love yourself and unerstand that your worth way more then him, when you realize that your worth something you'll look at him and think what the hell am I thinking staying with him!Trust me its what i had to realize to get away from my ex.
Once some one hits you it never stops, and if you stay you will think of a million reasons to justify it because that is what these type of men do, they make you truly believe you deserve it, and no one deserves it
xxainixx
Well-known member
UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE:
im really sad and lost now. after we broke up, just that night itself, he put up photos of him and another girl hugging and being very intimate. and in his msn chat, he puts : I MISS YOU ( girl's name) :
he's nv done that with me. and now.... it's just a girl he barely met. im really lost and confuse.
im really sad and lost now. after we broke up, just that night itself, he put up photos of him and another girl hugging and being very intimate. and in his msn chat, he puts : I MISS YOU ( girl's name) :
he's nv done that with me. and now.... it's just a girl he barely met. im really lost and confuse.
MACLovin
Well-known member
Quote:
Okay, it's either one of 2 things..
1) He knew and was seeing this girl while you 2 were still together, and now he's taken this opportunity to be with her full time. Just like he went straight to you when his ex broke up with him for probably the same reason you did.
2) He is doing it to make you feel bad.
Both of these situations are showing his utter lack of care and compassion for you.
Question, why are you even looking at his MSN?!??! You should delete him from your list and forget about him! Seriously, he is that girl's problem now, look at it like that. And if you happen to see or talk to her, it may be a good idea to warn her about his violent and abusive ways because you know it's going to happen eventually. =/
Girl.. find something to occupy yourself quick! If you sit around thinking about how sad you are, it's going to eat you up inside. Is there any way for you to maybe try meeting new people (male or female) just so you can get your mind off of everything? I dont know, maybe school activities or something.
I know you said you're 19.. you're young! Go out and live your life.. Don't waste any more brain power thinking about this piece of sh!t guy who treated you like garbage.
It will all be okay.. you will look back on this one day and first of all THANK yourself for breaking it off, and you may also ask yourself "What the hell was i so upset about?" Trust me!
| Originally Posted by xxainixx
UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE: im really sad and lost now. after we broke up, just that night itself, he put up photos of him and another girl hugging and being very intimate. and in his msn chat, he puts : I MISS YOU ( girl's name) : he's nv done that with me. and now.... it's just a girl he barely met. im really lost and confuse. |
Okay, it's either one of 2 things..
1) He knew and was seeing this girl while you 2 were still together, and now he's taken this opportunity to be with her full time. Just like he went straight to you when his ex broke up with him for probably the same reason you did.
2) He is doing it to make you feel bad.
Both of these situations are showing his utter lack of care and compassion for you.
Question, why are you even looking at his MSN?!??! You should delete him from your list and forget about him! Seriously, he is that girl's problem now, look at it like that. And if you happen to see or talk to her, it may be a good idea to warn her about his violent and abusive ways because you know it's going to happen eventually. =/
Girl.. find something to occupy yourself quick! If you sit around thinking about how sad you are, it's going to eat you up inside. Is there any way for you to maybe try meeting new people (male or female) just so you can get your mind off of everything? I dont know, maybe school activities or something.
It will all be okay.. you will look back on this one day and first of all THANK yourself for breaking it off, and you may also ask yourself "What the hell was i so upset about?" Trust me!
xxainixx
Well-known member
Quote:
why would he want me to feel bad?? i dont get it?
he IS a jerk. but i cant stop thinking of all the sweet things he's done for me? i mean. it's almost a year. doesnt he hav any feelings for me? not even a little? how can anyone be like this?
friends? what friends, how do i find friends? im coop up at home crying my eyes out daily feeling knives stabbing through my heart while he's out clubbing...
| Originally Posted by MACLovin
Okay, it's either one of 2 things.. 1) He knew and was seeing this girl while you 2 were still together, and now he's taken this opportunity to be with her full time. Just like he went straight to you when his ex broke up with him for probably the same reason you did. 2) He is doing it to make you feel bad. Both of these situations are showing his utter lack of care and compassion for you. Question, why are you even looking at his MSN?!??! You should delete him from your list and forget about him! Seriously, he is that girl's problem now, look at it like that. And if you happen to see or talk to her, it may be a good idea to warn her about his violent and abusive ways because you know it's going to happen eventually. =/ Girl.. find something to occupy yourself quick! If you sit around thinking about how sad you are, it's going to eat you up inside. Is there any way for you to maybe try meeting new people (male or female) just so you can get your mind off of everything? I dont know, maybe school activities or something.
It will all be okay.. you will look back on this one day and first of all THANK yourself for breaking it off, and you may also ask yourself "What the hell was i so upset about?" Trust me! |
why would he want me to feel bad?? i dont get it?
he IS a jerk. but i cant stop thinking of all the sweet things he's done for me? i mean. it's almost a year. doesnt he hav any feelings for me? not even a little? how can anyone be like this?
friends? what friends, how do i find friends? im coop up at home crying my eyes out daily feeling knives stabbing through my heart while he's out clubbing...
blindpassion
Well-known member
Quote:
Because... HES ABUSIVE.
Abusive people do what they do in order to have power over you.
Hes doing his best to make you feel bad because he knows he has control over your emotions enough so for you to feel bad.
Hes abusive. This is what abusive people do. They hurt you and then they flip everything around on you and do anything they can to convince you that its YOUR fault.
You said it yourself, he is a jerk. Hes an abusive asshole.
Anything nice hes done for you goes out the window the second he touches you.
Seriously look at what you're saying girl!
Its up to you to take your life into your own hands and rely on yourself, and not him, for your happiness.
You are the only person who can help you. You've taken a great first step and you've broke up with him,
and just the fact that hes even talking about another girl, whatever, shows you that A: he doesnt love you enough
to give a shit. Especially if he was abusing you. That isnt love. Not even close. And B: that hes doing his best to STILL
make you feel terrible about yourself.
| Originally Posted by xxainixx
why would he want me to feel bad?? i dont get it? |
Because... HES ABUSIVE.
Abusive people do what they do in order to have power over you.
Hes doing his best to make you feel bad because he knows he has control over your emotions enough so for you to feel bad.
Hes abusive. This is what abusive people do. They hurt you and then they flip everything around on you and do anything they can to convince you that its YOUR fault.
You said it yourself, he is a jerk. Hes an abusive asshole.
Anything nice hes done for you goes out the window the second he touches you.
Seriously look at what you're saying girl!
Its up to you to take your life into your own hands and rely on yourself, and not him, for your happiness.
You are the only person who can help you. You've taken a great first step and you've broke up with him,
and just the fact that hes even talking about another girl, whatever, shows you that A: he doesnt love you enough
to give a shit. Especially if he was abusing you. That isnt love. Not even close. And B: that hes doing his best to STILL
make you feel terrible about yourself.
FiestyFemme
Well-known member
^^ I could not agree more.
blindpassion
Well-known member
^ ^ you are the only person who can help yourself. You are the only person who can decide to start turning things around and being in a more positive head space. We choose how we feel. Plain and simple. To choose to pick your life up. Happy birthday and make good choices.
