Is it really necessary to drink on your 21st birthday?

[BloodMittens]

I couldn't decide whether this belonged in the chatter or deep thoughts thread. So I just left it here.

Really? Is is necessary to consume alcohol on your 21st birthday? Just because you can?

I'm turning 21 in September, and I am looking forward to it and everything, I'm having my party at a casino with my friends. Anyways, I have never been drunk before, and I have never consumed alcohol except a quarter of a glass of wine this New Year's, but I diluted it with a huge amount of Sprite.

Everyone in my friend group says that they respect me because I don't get drunk, and I watch after them and such. I always make sure they don't do anything harmful to themselves or others when they are intoxicated, not my responsibility but I would rather take it than see them get hurt in some way. But lately, my boyfriend's best friend is, no offense, an asshole. He keeps saying he is going to "Get You Smashed!!" and saying that the only way for me to enjoy my 21st birthday is to get drunk.

I beg to differ.

I have no desire to get drunk, and this is something my friend's have always seemed to be confused about. They don't seem to understand that I can have a good time anytime, not just my birthday, without getting myself piss drunk and making a complete ass of myself. I have told them time and time again that I don't want to get drunk on my birthday, I might drink after that, but when I am READY to start drinking. Not now.

And now they are starting to "plan" to get me drunk. My boyfriend's best friend told me to "watch" everything I am drinking because he is going to spike everything to get me drunk. I'm just getting SO annoyed with it, I know he's serious too, he would try THAT hard to get to see me drunk. I don't know what else to do, my boyfriend already told him to stop but he just continues to do that crap. I don't know WHY he wants to see me get drunk so badly, I have no desire for it. I have told him already, if I wanted to get drunk I would have years ago with them when they were drinking when they were 17. But no, I always stayed sober and I plan on keeping it that way.

I just don't know what else to do... it's very irritating.

 

[TDoll]

I agree with you totally. I'm 24 now, and on my 21st b-day I think I had a glass of wine...lol. You sound A LOT more mature than your boyfriend's friends.
Next time when they're devising their "plan" in front of you. Just tell them to grow up and that you have more respect for yourself than that.

 

[amoona]

I've never drank and never will - on my 21st birthday I actually winded up doing nothing because I got in a big fight with some friends. They're goal was to get me "f*ck up" as they like to say. If people don't respect your wishes then don't share your day with them. Do what makes you happy. If you really want to get smashed and have a blast that way then go for it. If you want to have fun by being sober then do it. If you just want a few drinks then do that.

It really is your choice - no right or wrong. You legally can drink now but nobody should put pressure on you to do so.

 

[MACATTAK]

The right answer is the one you feel comfortable with. If you want to drink, drink. If you don't, don't. It's your birthday, you should do what YOU want to do. I can't tell if your boyfriend is in on the "plan" too. If not, ask him to buy your drinks. If he is, buy your own.

 

[Beauty Mark]

You know, I'd question your boyfriend's choice of best friend if he's that big of an asshole towards you.

Getting someone drunk who doesn't want to be sounds like one of the assiest things you could do to a person. If he spikes your drink and you have probably little alcohol tolerance, you'll probably get sick fast. I hope that asshole plans on helping you to the bathroom and holding back your hair.

Since it's YOUR 21st birthday, why not have you make the plans and guest list? Unless you're friends with this guy, I see no reason why you need to invite him. Turning 21 isn't really a big deal. It's nice to be able to go to bars and have a drink with my friends (I'm the youngest), but to tell you the truth, we have just as much fun going to a nice dessert place and eating pastries and drinking hot chocolate.

 

[SkylarV217]

I agree, It should be your choice. I to this day have not had a sip of alcohol including my 21st birthday. I don't have anything against it , it's just not what I wanted to do. You don't have to drink if you don't want to. People that try to tell you different are simply immature.

 

[dmenchi]

Please, drinking isn't anything great or to be proud off in the first place- don't let those morans force you into something that you're way above! =) DO WHAT YOU WANT!!!! It's YOUR choice only!!!

 

[gigglegirl]

wow congrats to you for making that decision. seriously, i've been buzzed after having maybe 3 fruity/girly mixed martinis in one evening, but thats it. I've never felt sick or ever been drunk. As I'm nearly 24 apparently I'm weird, but I honestly don't think so.

I have no desire to do that, and its nice to hear that there are quite a few of us like-minded people out there!

Like others have said, do what YOU want, fine a drink or two if you want is fine to celebrate, just yea watch your drink/keep it with you at all times. Have a great time!

I've always thought I'm probably going to want to remember a lot of my younger years, rather than having someone go "Remember that time you got so smashed and did a face plant in my front yard? oh yea good times" to me, not remembering what I did or didn't do isn't a good time!

 

[Beauty Mark]

The worst is if people you don't know remember you for dumb stuff you've done. I've known a few people who've been known as "That girl" by strangers, due to their off-the-wall behaviors from alcohol at parties

I like my drinks, but I also love controlling my actions.

 

[Shaquille]

of course not!! it's more important to drink responsibly..

What I cold suggest is to 'act' like you're drunk.. that way, you give them satisfaction, but inside, you feel more victory..

good luck and happy birthday

 

[kaliraksha]

The only thing that is necessary is to make up your own mind and stick by your decision.

I didn't get drunk on my 21st, but I did have my "yay I can legally buy my own drink" drink at a restaurant. To this day I have friends my age (early to mid 20s) that don't understand why I don't get drunk every weekend with them... it's just not a necessity and I only drink when I'm in the mood or want to not just because I can or there is nothing else to do. Just stick to what you believe or want to do, if they're your friends they will leave you alone about it.

 

[purrtykitty]

I don't think it is. I went to dinner with my parents and bf and I had one drink.

I think it's really crappy of your bf's friend not to respect your wishes to stay sober. Is there any way to un-invite him?

 

[KikiB]

I mean in my opinion, it is not necessary to drink, period...I am 20 and have never tried alcohol and I never will, for a variety of reasons. That's just my view for me, personally. However, it is your birthday and if you don't want to drink, it is your choice. Nobody can force you to drink and I would suggest that you do everything in your power to keep your boyfriend's friend away from you because he is just nasty.

 

[Briar]

It is necessary to have fun on your birthday, alcohol does not even have to be a part of that. If you are one of those fortunate, and wise young people who has learned that getting drunk does not equal fun you're way ahead of much of your generation. I got rip-roaring drunk once in college and decided it frankly was no fun at all. I acted stupid and then got sick, no fun. I say, stick to your guns. Its your birthday, you celebrate the way *you* want to.

 

[redambition]

it's your birthday - do what you want to do!

While i have been very drunk a few times in my life (mostly as a result of underestimating the strength of the drinks i was downing... or thinking i could keep up with people), i don't enjoy getting really drunk either. friends sometimes try to urge me to drink more but mostly they respect my decision.

the guy threatening to spike your drinks is an ass. find a way to ditch him from the invite list if you can.

you don't have to be drunk to have a good time, so don't let anyone try to tell you otherwise.

(by the way, i admire your patience in taking care of your drunken friends. i can't do it on a regular basis, it drives me insane trying to reason with them.)

 

[brokenxbeauty]

I'd say to definately ditch that guy, un-invite him from your party! Haha, seriously, what an idiot. I know people like that and I just don't understand it.
I've never been drunk either and have no desire to.
It sucks that your friends can't have a good time without getting drunk, but lucky you that you can!

 

[BloodMittens]

Haha. Thanks everyone. Unfortunately... I can't un-invite him because all he would do is create an huge amount of drama over it which is sad but true. I'd rather not deal with his drama crap in the end so I'll just invite him. My boyfriend has made it perfectly clear to him that he will be testing all of my drinks before I drink them, and if he finds any alcohol in any of them, it's gonna go right into his best friend's face

Gotta love my man. He's so good to me.

 

[ktdetails]

I didn't drink on my 21st birthday... in fact I spent it with a sober friend. I'm not really a drinker... I generally can't stand the taste or even smell of alcohol. The way I see it - if you make a big deal about whether or not you drink then people will make a big deal about their opinion of what you do or don't do. If you keep your preferences to yourself and simply do the "no thanks" thing... people eventually get over it... hey it means more alcohol for them or more cash in their pockets. Don't drink just because others want you to - it's not worth it.

 

[cre8_yourself]

i just turned 21 in march and i did not get drunk... the first time i got drunk was about 2 years ago in my sophmore year @ rutgers.. it was horrible lmao... funny.. but horrible.. i vowed from that point on that i wouldnt ever get that drunk. im the type of person who doesnt like to get drunk.. but i do like to have an occasional drink.. on my bday my friend bought me a drink and some random guy at the club did too ( i watched him buy it dont worry) but girl its what u want to do.. u do not need to drink to have fun, unfortunately people our age think its cool to suffocate their livers lol.. im glad ur not that type. anyways enjoy ur bday and if they try and scam u tell them to fuck off . lol

 

[snowflakelashes]

Definately with all the others here in saying that it is your right to chose, and its a personal decision, Where I lived, 18 was the legal drinking age yet I continued to chose not to drink. (I did have religious reasons so for me I felt it wasn't even an option). Until I was 22, and then I made that choice myself to try it. And after that I didn't get drunk, I just stuck to getting buzzed. I think my first drink-to-drunk was when I was 25. Now I'm not saying that I regret it but it was MY choice and I definately wasn't pressured into it. Its a personal choice.