Is it really necessary to drink on your 21st birthday?

[yodagirl]

I agree with what the others said that you should do what you want to do...It is your special day after all, not their's

I only drank half a margarita on my 21st b-day....of course, I had spent the two years before getting wasted every weekend and was completely burnt out on drinking by the time I became 'legal'

...I'm 24 now and drink maybe once or twice a year.

 

[lara]

Quote:

Originally Posted by BloodMittens Haha. Thanks everyone. Unfortunately... I can't un-invite him because all he would do is create an huge amount of drama over it which is sad but true. I'd rather not deal with his drama crap in the end so I'll just invite him. My boyfriend has made it perfectly clear to him that he will be testing all of my drinks before I drink them, and if he finds any alcohol in any of them, it's gonna go right into his best friend's face Gotta love my man. He's so good to me.

I'd personally rather deal with some drama now than have Mr Drink Spike McDaterape at my party.

 

[SparklingWaves]

If it's my Birthing Day, it's going according to my plans. #1) No "assholes" allowed. I could not relax and enjoy myself with people with goals of getting me "smashed" without my consent for their own entertainment.

 

[Beauty Mark]

Quote:

Originally Posted by BloodMittens Haha. Thanks everyone. Unfortunately... I can't un-invite him because all he would do is create an huge amount of drama over it which is sad but true. I'd rather not deal with his drama crap in the end so I'll just invite him. My boyfriend has made it perfectly clear to him that he will be testing all of my drinks before I drink them, and if he finds any alcohol in any of them, it's gonna go right into his best friend's face Gotta love my man. He's so good to me.

Why wouldn't he cause drama if your boyfriend stands up for you? If the boyfriend's best friend is drinking, it'll probably be much worse in public than now.

I wouldn't want someone who is so blatantly disrespectful towards me celebrating my birthday.

 

[BloodMittens]

Quote:

Originally Posted by lara I'd personally rather deal with some drama now than have Mr Drink Spike McDaterape at my party.

I lol'd at that. But, he won't try anything now that my boyfriend stepped in, he knows better.

The guy doesn't respect me for a few reasons, none of which I understand, but I think it's mostly because he's an asshole to me and I don't respect him that he does the same back to me. I have tried countless times to be nice to him and friends with him because WE were friends before I started going out with my boyfriend. But it seems each time he starts to fight with me and get very disrespectful, so I eventually gave up.

So I don't think he will ACTUALLY do anything as long as my boyfriend says "No." and spanks his wrist like you would a child for him to understand. But yes, not only would my boyfriend be slightly disappointed with him not being there, but his girlfriend who is my friend wouldn't be happy either.

Just gotta get him on the same page, and ruin this stupid "plan".

Lame

 

[*Stargazer*]

Quote:

Originally Posted by lara I'd personally rather deal with some drama now than have Mr Drink Spike McDaterape at my party.

Oh, thank God. I was scrolling and scrolling and trying to figure out why on earth there is even a question about this.

Seriously. If you don't want to drink and someone is telling you that they are going to FORCE you to drink, why are they even in your sphere of influence? I don't give a rat's ass whose Mom's Dad's best friend's little sister's godson someone is. If they disrespect you and vocally threaten to KEEP disrespecting you, you can't expect anything different. And really, at that point, you've given them permission to treat you the way they want. And "well, my boyfriend will just smack his hand" boggles my mind. This guy thinks this is a funny joke because everyone is responding like it is.

I'm not even going to touch the fact that you have a boyfriend who let's his "best friend" disrespect you.

 

[MAC_Whore]

Not directed at anyone. Just my general thoughts on the subject.

I've never been a big drinker or seen the appeal of the 21st b-day (or any day) binge. I was just excited to turn 21 to have access to different clubs, not to drink. What's the point of getting hammered? Is it because you can't wait to have the world's worst headache and a monster barf?

Most people think you need to do it to have fun, but really, if you need that to have fun: 1) re-examine what you consider fun and 2) work out why you are so vapid and boring that you need booze to have fun...lol.

That reminds me of a guy who was celebrating his 21st b-day on the same night I was celebrating mine (not someone I knew though, we just happened to be at the same club). I had a drink. One. This guy was slamming them down left and right.

Well, me and my friends had parked near where this guy and his friends had. As the club closed and people were leaving, I saw drunky 21 year old guy being carried to his car. His buddies propped him up against the truck, he then pissed himself, waited a moment and threw up on himself.

Me? I had a great time that night, went home, got up the next day and went about my biz. That guy probably wanted to shoot himself. So who made the better choice?

 

[chocolategoddes]

Of couse, it isn't!

I have a friend who is turning 18 in a couple of months and the first thing she plans to do is get a tattoo and go to a stripclub... all because she can (and probably has wanted to do it for a long time).
I don't know if this has been said already but some people feel the need to do it because they think they HAVE to in honor of their birthday or for it to seem real because 21st b-day is a big deal in American culture.
I know I'll probably party it up like somewhere in Vegas and have a couple cocktails when I turn 21 because that's what I want to do and some random guy isn't the one who'll make me do it.

 

[concertina]

If you don't want to, then absolutely don't. No one should force you to and the people coming to your party should respect your wishes.

However! There is something to be said for having a few drinks, and having a laugh out loud, stupid-good time with friends and have memories that you still talk about and laugh over more than 5 years after college. Is alcohol necessary for that? Well, of course not!....but it sure did make it fun!

I waited until I was 21 to drink and after that, had a blast. Took me a while to learn my tolerance level (that was never a fun time

) but once you learn what works for you, its pretty easy to keep to that.

Do what feels right for you.

 

[preciouscharm]

It's you're birthday you do whatever you want! Enjoy it the way you want to and just don't let your friends ruin it for ya!

 

[Care]

nope! if you don't feel like getting trashed then don't! it's so much more fun when you actually remember the day and spend it with people who you care about, rather than waking up with a huge hang over and a void in your memory

I think i have 1 margarita when i went out to dinner with my boyfriend for 21st birthday and I don't regret not getting drunk one bit

 

[Mabelle]

no. im not a drnker in any sense of the word. i think within the last.... 7 years ive been drunk twice. tipsy once. I used to drink to get drunk when i was in high school... but i dont really care for alcohol. i dont like the feeling of being out of control ( i dont mean shit face drunk, i mean impaired in any sense). So drinking or getting loaded for my 18th wasnt a big deal.

 

[macslut]

Quote:

Originally Posted by lara ...Mr Drink Spike McDaterape....

Brilliant! Can I use that when I talk to 18 year olds about why you don't want to get drunk at the Sigma Cow party? That is soooooo going on my facebook page!

You know what? It is your decision...personal choice. If your boyfriend's best friend doesn't understand that, tell him to shove it up his ass. I have never had a drink, never been drunk, and have no intention of doing so. I think you should spend your 21st at a nice restaurant and have a glass of wine with dinner if you choose. And tell your boyfriend's best friend he is not invited because those sort of places require manners and class.

Don't ever let anyone pressure you into doing something you are not comfortable with.

 

[macslut]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MAC_Whore Not directed at anyone. Just my general thoughts on the subject. I've never been a big drinker or seen the appeal of the 21st b-day (or any day) binge. I was just excited to turn 21 to have access to different clubs, not to drink. What's the point of getting hammered? Is it because you can't wait to have the world's worst headache and a monster barf? Most people think you need to do it to have fun, but really, if you need that to have fun: 1) re-examine what you consider fun and 2) work out why you are so vapid and boring that you need booze to have fun...lol. That reminds me of a guy who was celebrating his 21st b-day on the same night I was celebrating mine (not someone I knew though, we just happened to be at the same club). I had a drink. One. This guy was slamming them down left and right. Well, me and my friends had parked near where this guy and his friends had. As the club closed and people were leaving, I saw drunky 21 year old guy being carried to his car. His buddies propped him up against the truck, he then pissed himself, waited a moment and threw up on himself. Me? I had a great time that night, went home, got up the next day and went about my biz. That guy probably wanted to shoot himself. So who made the better choice?

Doesn't it feel good to go home with your dignity intact? I remember in college pulling a guy out of the bushes. His *ahem* "friends" left him there after he passed out. Nice.

 

[BloodMittens]

Quote:

Originally Posted by macslut Doesn't it feel good to go home with your dignity intact? I remember in college pulling a guy out of the bushes. His *ahem* "friends" left him there after he passed out. Nice.

Oh lord. Poor guy, and I bet his friends thought it was "funny"?

Lame.

 

[Tashona Helena]

To be honest, the first time I got drunk was about a couple months ago, and altho i'm underage, I feel that it didn't make that nite anymore special, I mean yea we went up to Philly to party...but I couldn't get in the club anyway (my friend, who was sober, drove & walked around with me). So don't let him pressure you into getting completely drunk. Been there, it's not cute. It's your 21st...you want to remember everything, do what you want, and say what you mean.

 

[BloodMittens]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tashona Heléna To be honest, the first time I got drunk was about a couple months ago, and altho i'm underage, I feel that it didn't make that nite anymore special, I mean yea we went up to Philly to party...but I couldn't get in the club anyway (my friend, who was sober, drove & walked around with me). So don't let him pressure you into getting completely drunk. Been there, it's not cute. It's your 21st...you want to remember everything, do what you want, and say what you mean.

Thanks! To me it just seems like a huge respect issue. Some people just don't seem to respect me at all

Lame

 

[florabundance]

Drinking should never be a "necessity".

To me, it's something you do if you enjoy it, if you like it. I'm a big fan of mixers, shots and so on, so i will have a few - and i wont lie, it does help me loosen up a little! But then again, i'm someone who cannot hold my drink very well, i get drunk super easy, so I have to be careful. It all depends on how much you, as an individual, can handle.

However, it is NOT imperative for having a good time at all. I can't stand when I hear people saying like "what are you doing tonight", "getting drunk". It seems so completely loser-ish.

 

[k.a.t]

Ugh, i hate it when people constantly tell me i should get drunk. I usually get told this at parties, but like i don't need to drink to have fun. I'm naturally hyper and crazy so i don't need to get intoxicated lol

I think it's so sad when people NEED to drink in order to have fun, if you enjoy drinking and you know your limits that's cool but i mean when people think that they can only have fun if they drink...that's just well kind of sad and makes you wonder just how boring they are normally lol

I have never been drunk, and don't plan to either, simply because 1) i know that i probably won't tolerate it very well and would therefore not enjoy it and 2) because i know i don't need it to have a good time.

What really bothers me is when people drink for the sake of drinking, just to seem "cool" - i think that's so pathetic.

Story of pathetic drinkers: When i was in school i knew this girl (who i used to be friends with long before) and she and her friends would like get together every friday to get so drunk they were literally pissed out of their heads (they would then boast about it in school) and one time this girl got so drunk that she passed out in the street when she was out with her "friends" and some of them just left her while other 2 girls came back to help her. Anyway she was actually taken to hospital because she had basically poisoned herself and was in hospital for about 2-3 days. What amazes me is that all her friends (including her) were laughing about it the next day.

 

[florabundance]

Quote:

Originally Posted by k.a.t Story of pathetic drinkers: When i was in school i knew this girl (who i used to be friends with long before) and she and her friends would like get together every friday to get so drunk they were literally pissed out of their heads (they would then boast about it in school) and one time this girl got so drunk that she passed out in the street when she was out with her "friends" and some of them just left her while other 2 girls came back to help her. Anyway she was actually taken to hospital because she had basically poisoned herself and was in hospital for about 2-3 days. What amazes me is that all her friends (including her) were laughing about it the next day.

This kind of stuff worries me because it's becoming such a big part of British (or at least where i'm from in London) culture. I've found that a lot of people I grew up with take this kind of route - it's almost the norm.