Is your boyfriend the breadwinner...or you?

[CantAffordMAC]

Quote:

Originally Posted by CaraAmericana My ideal world would have me working part time while kids are at school. And having my man bring home the bacon but let me handle the finances. =)

lol agreed 100%.

 

[eulchen]

i do enjoy if the man invites me and pays for stuff, but i dont want to be somebody who just costs money. i feel like theyre buying me when they spend too much money in me, therefore bringing me in a position to "pay them back" in some way. im a student right now and im dating a guy whos also a student, so we dont have much money anyways, but he (almost) always pays for me and were not even in a relationship.

i think its ok if the person who earns more brings more into the relationship financially (like paying proportionally more for the basic stuff like rent, food) but i really dont like to be dependent on the man, or just see him paying as being the norm.

i also support the breakup of the breadwinner model. if we want to reach a society which treats everybody equal we gotta come to a point, when everybody can realize their plans for job, family or different, which means, that in a relationship not only the man can follow his career while the woman has to juggle job, houshold and children, but instead a 50/50 share in all parts can be achieved. (is that understandable? my english sounds weird today :confused

 

[Evey]

Both my husband and I work but he makes way more money than I do ( he's an engineer). Even so, I've always split the house bills with him, except for rent, he pays for that. Any time we go out he pays for me. Whatever it is. And even though I work, he still gives me money to have for misc expenses. It feels weird to me sometimes because I've always been real independent but, it's something that he WANTS to do. I love him for that. =D

 

[redambition]

Quote:

Originally Posted by frocher My SO and I make comparable incomes, and we share all our expenses. It is not a calculated split, he pays the bills sometimes, and sometimes I do. There is no one breadwinner in our house, we both are.

this is the way it works for me too. the split is not measured and calculated down to the last cent, but we share costs.

he earns more than i do, and i think that boosts his ego a bit - there was a while when i was earning more than him, and he was a bit miffed about that

 

[elizs]

My boyfriend & I are working on our finances still. Since we're getting married next year hopefully, we finally sat down & said this is how we're going to do it.
I make at least double what he does, and I was the one that bought a house, so thats completley my expense, but for all the household expenses we're going to contribute to a joint account, where I'll put in 2x what he does so its an equal percentage of each of our paychecks.
He pays for the food & I make it for him & we each pay our own CC bills & for any extra junk we want.
Its hard sometimes becuase I would love to be lavished with gifts just like a lot of people would, but I'm happy with him & as long as I drop hints, every now & then he will do something special for us. So you have to decide which is more important to you. Love or being lavished with gifts & being a kept woman. I think I'd prefer love. I lived on my own for too long to think that I can't take care of myself & maybe having someone do it for me would make me feel obligated to do anything they wish, and I dont want that, I'm my own person.

 

[Tinkee-Belle]

We both make about the same amount which is alot of money for people our age. I dont expect him to buy me anything, I like being independant and always pay for my own clothes, car, makeup ect. He usually pays for dinner because he says it makes him feel like "the man" but we fight everytime over the bill lol.... ONCE in awhile he will let me pay but i really wish I could pay half the time. He has NEVER taken me shopping or anything like that and it makes me happy that I can support myself 100%. I could never be one of those women who marries rich and expects someone else to pay their way. I think that is old-fashioned.

 

[lara]

We both work in well paying jobs, the money goes into the same account, and whoever pays for dinner is the one who has their wallet closest. We're both the breadwinners, and I wouldn't want it any other way. This girl ain't beholden to anyone!

About the only main division of finances is that I handle all the bills and investments. The trade-off is that he handles the housework.

 

[hello_kitty]

Right now, he pays the rent, car insurance, car payment (except on my personal car which is pretty much just a race car now, i pay for everything for that car), and food, and I pay all the utilities (gas, electric, water, sewer, tv/internet, renters insurance). But... he makes literally 5 times the amount I do (and works damn hard to make that much), and I am extremely unhappy with my job and horrible 70 mile commute, so after our wedding in February I am becoming a "housewife." I will take over running several of his websites/internet projects as well as working on some of my own, and he'll pick up the bills, except for my credit card and personal expenses like tanning, nails... and gasp, makeup.

I've always had my own money, so it's a bit scary to think I will be pretty much dependent on him, but damn... when someone makes as much money as he does... but anyways, we'll see how it works out, and I might look for a job very close to home with good hours that agree with my life, even if part time, that I can enjoy just to bring in some spending money for myself. I definitely don't want to get trapped into another horrible job, though.

I never thought I'd be a housewife type, but people change, and it's going to work out for us I think. I'm excited to finally have time to clean and work on my websites and different projects. Guess I'll have to learn how to cook, though...

 

[onionbooty]

I, being raised by very cultural parents, believe that the guy should be the one who takes upon financial responsibility. We, my sisters and I, were raised to clean and cook, and saw the hardships my dad went through to bring home the bread. Now, my mom is a hard worker too. She had nothing when coming to the U.S. and now is a successful business owner... but thats another story

Although, I did pay for my share of things in my most recent relationship. I believe that the guy shouldn't always be obligated to pay... but he should always be first to grab the check. My last relationship lasted a year... and within the first month, he'd gotten me a Chanel purse for my birthday, which was $1700, and 2 weeks later a matching wallet for $700. He'd take me shopping on thousand dollar shopping sprees. We were wining and dining at places for anywhere from $100-$200 for just us two. The "sparks" died out... hehe, and he didn't feel to flatter me.
So after a while I started paying for things.. not everything but little things. I don't mind either, because even though I said I would expect the guy to pick up the ticket everytime... doesn't mean he has to pay. I had to let him know even though he thought I needed him, I was good on my own and had my own money!

So, since we aren't together, I haven't taken upon any offerings to MAC (he knows what I like), but he does fork out for the cell phone bill every month, since we're on the same plan.

CLIFF NOTES: The guy should always be the one who offers to pay... but the girl should let him know... she don't need him to

...
and still let him pay. LOL.

 

[bebs]

my husband and I.. we have all joint accounts at so it really isn't a question of 50/50 or how it's split one way or the other money wise. He makes more then me, he works full time.. over time once and a while and I'm a full time student and have a part time job as well to put a share in. (he has told me before I got and after as well that I dont need to that school comes first, and made an agreement that if I fall below a certain gpa. that I would quit and just be a student)

from both of our checks we put 50% after taxes into one of the many accounts to pay for the house.. credits cards ... cars, insurance.. on and on and on.. things that need to be paid off once a month. even if things are paid off completely we still leave the money in that account by the end.. just to leave a bit of room to spare for the next month same thing applies to all the other accounts

20% of mine then goes to fun.. entertainment.. going out.. books, movies .. dvd's, makeup, viedo games, computers.. electronics, and also to his having fun playing the stock market.. and whatever else isn't a need but a want.

30%.. into savings

his is spilt as.. 5 - 10% into entertainment and then 25% into savings and then the rest into a fund for school.. mine and then when we have kids for theirs

and then the agreement is when we have kids I want to stay home and raise them, and we have talked about it and he likes the idea as it was the way he was brought up.

we both have equal rights to the accounts.. however the agreement is that I spend a lot one month with entertainment and make up the next month I try not to spend as much and also to give him some warning so he doesn't not know (as a big collection is coming out or something of the sort) and he does the same thing for me.. when the ps3 came out and stuff like that. everything.. well like anything in a realtionship should be equal give and take you cant take nothing without giving something back.

 

[*Stargazer*]

Quote:

Originally Posted by CaraAmericana My ideal world would have me working part time while kids are at school. And having my man bring home the bacon but let me handle the finances. =)

This is my reality. I am very fortunate.

 

[greentwig]

Quote:

Originally Posted by CantAffordMAC Thats great. I just wish sometimes me and my boyfriend could be a better couple. We argue so much about things that everyone else has no problem with. Most of you ladies have a very good view on the financial part of your relationship...you both give and take and work together. When it comes to my relationship, I feel like I pay for too much. He didn't have a job for months, and it got to the point where I was paying for the food, gas, entertainment, etc. Thats like he was dependant on me. And thats not cool. Then he'd go as far as to say that I barely made any money anyways, and that he didn't need it. I have no problem paying for my things, and sharing responsibilities with him..I never have. It worries me though,, because we don't even live together yet.

Money matters almost always cause problem when money is tight (believe me I know!). Once he finds a better job then you shouldn’t feel so stressed out. What he said about the amount of $ you make was very rude though.

I am the bread winner in my house; I pay for everything, rent, food, bills, entertainment, etc... He will be getting a job soon but it's going to go to the other things we need to save for or things we need to get (savings to go toward college and a new car).


He probably feels bad though because he makes less then you. Hopefully he will get it together and find a better job soon 2 ease the stress. Good luck