- It's a cold day in hell when flocks of snobby little rich teenage girls don't trash my store and then tell me that it's my job to collect up their empty cups that held $13 eco-friendly organic fruit juices from the wanky juice bar in the food court. There's the bin, here's my blank stare!
- It's a cold day in hell when customers don't try to pry the eyeshadows out of the displays and drop them on the floor, then scurry away without saying anything in the hope that I won't notice.
- It's a cold day in hell when I end the day with all the testers that I started with (stealing dirty testers, wtf? Enjoy your raging case of the herp, sticky fingers).
- It's a cold day in hell when someone chooses to read the store directory right next to my bay instead of strolling right past it and asking me where hangbags/Royal Doulton/mens underpants are (mezzanine, level two, level one - reading the effing sign!).
- It's a cold day in hell when someone actually comprehends the 'make-up applications are X dollars in product' sign and doesn't try to get an entire 45 minute mu app with the purchase of a single $20 lip gloss.
- It's a cold day in hell when no-one tries to haggle for discounts or barter for product. No, nein, nyet! Even if we did discount, you'd have to bring a lot more to the table than purchasing a single eyeshadow. Take me into the $500 club, then we'll talk.
And, seriously, it's a cold day in hell when I don't do at least five completely indentical black smokey eye/beige nude lip make-ups on five totally identical girls and sell the same items for each sale. WHY WILL THIS EMPTY TREND NOT DIE.
