Kids? Too much too fast too soon?

[Shimmer]

Is TEN really the new FIFTEEN???

Quote:

The shift that's turning tweens into the new teens is complex — and worrisome to parents and some professionals who deal with children. They wonder if kids are equipped to handle the thorny issues that come with the adolescent world.

 

[*Stargazer*]

How scary is this? I keep seeing it everywhere though. Particularly in little girls' clothing. It is really distressing to me.

 

[Shimmer]

Me too!
I see it a LOT in little girls' (YES THEY ARE LITTLE GIRLS!!!) clothing. My husband told me "It's our job to cover her butt, not decorate it." I wholly agree with this.
Seeing the girls she goes to school with in spaghetti straps and high heels makes me twitch with anger at their mother.

 

[*Stargazer*]

I see clothing aimed at my 2 and 3 year olds that makes me cringe! Thank goodness that the Gap, Children's Place and Gymboree are at least still age appropriate for my girls. I have NO idea what I'm going to do once my kids are older if this clothing trend continues.

 

[Shimmer]

GAP is definitely one of my favorite places for shopping for my kids.

Old Navy (even though they're sister companies) is borderline sometimes on the stuff they sell for kids my daughter's age. Limited Too is okay if you pick and choose well.

 

[lara]

I get mothers ringing me to ask if I do make-up lessons for their ten year-old daughters. The last one who rang asked if I could teach her daughter how to do "sexy make-up, like on a video clip - she wants to look nice for her boyfriend."

WTF.

(No way would I do that, in the same way I'd never work the pagent circuit - I'll have no part in sexualising little girls, thanks. At that age your make-up should consist entirely of Lip Smackers and Body Shop kiwi lip balm, not gloss and false lashes.)

 

[IslandGirl77]

I have an eleven year old, and she does not dress all sexy. She dresses for her age. I see some little girls out here, tight pants and tight tops. I just don't think it's appropiate. I buy my kids clothes from Target and Old Navy. I have a two year old also and she dresses like a two year old. The world is changing and people are just getting crazier with less morals in my opinion.

 

[Hawkeye]

I went up to Pigeon forge this weekend and I saw this girl. I was waiting for my friends to get through shopping and she was standing there. She looked maybe 18 or 19 but short.

She had perfectly manicured nails, a smokey eye a fake tan pink lipstick (Think Britney Spears makeup and hair), she was wearing a super short skirt and a black turtleneck with black boots.

I asked her if she was cold and she said she wasn't and we started to talk about what all we were getting our friends for Christmas everything. The more I talked to her I noticed how sad she seemed. I didn't say anything but finally she asked me how old I was. I told her and she told me she was 10.

I asked her where her mom was and she said at home her friend and her mom brought her there and they were inside shopping. EEK. I was livid! So I waited for this girls friend and mom to come out and the friend looked WORSE than the girl did and the mother is just walking around like she doesn't care.

It is. They are growing up so fast forgetting that one day they will look back and WANT to be kids again.

Maybe its just the time in history who knows? I mean at one point in time girls were married at 13. Maybe the pendulum is swinging back?

And the worst part is I understand the girls need to feel all cute and hot and special and all that good stuff. I mean I did when I was a kid! But for the parents to actually let them do it that is just stupid on their part because that is putting those little girls in danger.

sorry.

And kids-yeah they see shows on Nick like Unfabulous or Zoey101 and want to be these kids.

I mean these kids are wanting to grow up so fast they will do anything to prove they are adults!

But while they are doing that they aren't realizing that it will hurt them a lot along the way

 

[IslandGirl77]

I saw a lady and a little girl come into the nail shop where I get my nails done one time. The little girl had an exspensive purse. She was pretty much dressed like her Mom. She was wearing lipgloss too. The girl had to be at least 8 or 9 I say. So they are both getting pedicures and manicures, and this lady says something to the mother. And the Mom goes that's right you get them trained early. I don't know, maybe a manicure and pedicure is harmless, but it was obvious she is teaching her more than just getting your nails and feet done.

 

[lara]

Quote:

Originally Posted by youbeabitch And the worst part is I understand the girls need to feel all cute and hot and special and all that good stuff. I mean I did when I was a kid! But for the parents to actually let them do it that is just stupid on their part because that is putting those little girls in danger.

It's the 'hot' bit of that quote that concerns me. Kids always want to be adults; always have done, always will be. My neices are already saying they don't want elastic-waist baby jeans anymore, they want adult jeans that button up. That's totally normal, they want to be big girls and wear big girl clothing. Normal is also clomping around the house in Mum's high heels or sneaking some perfume or a swipe of lipstick. It's a taste of what small girls view female adulthood to be - access to precious things, being feminine, and in the right sort of household environment, being powerful and confident. Being sexy, hot and/or attractive doesn't even figure until a few years later, unless they're being coached into it.

It's when adults confuse 'wanting to be an adult' with 'wanting to be hot/sexy/desireable' that things screw up royally. The two aren't mutually exclusive, one doesn't automatically indicate the other.
Children don't buy their own clothes, nor do they design and manufacture them. If you asked the average six year old what they thought about g-string underwear, the response you'd get would most likely be 'eeeew, yuck', but there are dental-floss knickers being sold in the pre-teen underwear department of Cheap Department Store X. In order for it to be consistantly on the shelves someone is buying it for their kids, and whoever that someone is, they need a good clip around the head with a My Little Pony set.

 

[prinzessin784]

I think it's sad how quickly little girls are growing up these days. My two little nieces (2 and 4 years old) are a little over protected, but I think that's better than what the opposite can be, like what was described in some of the previous posts. When I have kids I think I will be the same way. It is important to be involved in their lives and get to know them and instill good values and beliefs in them so that when they get to that age when it's harder to maintain an influence they will make the right decisions.

 

[giz2000]

My husband DJs on the side, and he was asked to DJ this year's Halloween party at my son's school...he had 2nd and 3rd graders come up and ask him if he had Akon's song "I Want to Love You," only that wasn't the version they asked for...they asked for "I Want to F*&K You." Just like that....DH just looked at them with this blank face and said "I don't have that song." Like he's going to play that at a school dance...yeah, right....:what:

 

[*Stargazer*]

Quote:

Originally Posted by lara It's when adults confuse 'wanting to be an adult' with 'wanting to be hot/sexy/desireable' that things screw up royally. The two aren't mutually exclusive, one doesn't automatically indicate the other.

I wish more people understood that. When I hear 6 and 7 year olds talk about being fat and wanting to be skinny and sexy, I want to puke.

 

[redambition]

it's horrible. it's just so wrong.

my cousin's parents want to pull her out of dancing because they're worried that she'll be exposed to body image problems.. then there's the whole makeup thing they do to the kids at concert time. 8 year olds painted up in bright blue eyeshadow, full face of foundation and red lispstick... with a lycra minidress on. how is that appropriate for their age? :/

and don't get me started on the clothes i see on kids these days. it is not cute to see little girls dressed like a mini version of their mummy.

 

[Shimmer]

Honestly y'all. My daughter wears Tshirts and jeans or shorts everyday. Sweaters in the cold, but otherwise, she's COVERED.
The ironic part is that these parents are surprised when they catch their fifteen year old daughter giving head on the back porch.

 

[Raerae]

When I was young and wanted to wear clothing other than what my Mom picked out for me, i had to stuff it into my backpack or hide it in my binder and change at school or at friends houses. Now parents are picking it out.

 

[mzcelaneous]

Oh lord. Again and as always, it's the parents responsibility to teach their children boundaries with what's appropiate and what's not. Parents who allow their children to wear "adult" clothing have serious issues.

 

[Beauty Mark]

Parents need to be parents. Set boundaries for their kids, etc. I know the media crams sex down our throats (no pun intended), but you're the people who feed, clothe, etc. your children. Sometimes it doesn't seem like parents understand that they're the adults.

I grew up in the age of the Spice Girls, Britney Spears, etc. I wasn't allowed to dress like that. It just irks and saddens me so much. The life expectancy keeps rising- there's no need to try to grow up faster than you already do.

 

[Hawkeye]

Beauty-they do understand but the problem is (and forgive me as I go on my evil rantings about how horrible some parents are) - they don't want to be "oppressive" like their parents were. After all their parents were "Strict" and they "hated" their parents and they dont want their "children" to "hate" them.

AND on top of that you have parents who want to live vicariously through their children-if they were uncool or unpopular then they do everything in their power even if it is letting their children dress like sluts to be in the "in" crowd.

OR you have the parents who just give them something to shut them up so they dont have to listen to them whine and complain about-clothes? So and so's parents let them do something etc...

OR you have the parents who do it absent mindedly so they can go shopping with their friends forcing the children to grow up.

Quite frankly-most parents have to earn my respect. Especially after working in the county school system here in GA-most parents-99% of them do not have my respect.

I have been known to tear parents apart viciously. After I left the school system I saw one of the parents and she watched her child kick another student then blamed the student. She then saw I saw the whole thing then tried to blame me for it. ME! I ripped her a new one to the point she was in tears and all I did was tell her the truth point blank. She threatened to sue me but it's been 3 years-I have no letter.

Saddest part is while the child was being drug away he broke loose and ran over to me and in front of his mother told me- " Miss (my name), you're like a mom to me"

Those words still ring in my head.

And my best friend she started getting in the habit of doing things like giving her daughter stuff that she shouldn't be wearing and I let her have it. We're still best friends too. (amazingly).

I think children all long for the parental role. The need to be guided. They are searching for it. And when you have a parent that fullfills it then it makes it so much better. But when the parent doesn't do that then you find the child searching and when the child searches that's when they begin to "act older" and they have no idea what the hell they are doing. They are-after all-mimicking the only people who they can relate to. Movie Stars.

 

[Shimmer]

Wait guys.
Y'all need to step back and think about something else:

This group of parents, with the small children right now....THEY WERE NEVER TAUGHT HOW TO PARENT. Or even how to be an adult.

Think about it. The 22-35 year olds now were completed abdicated of any responsibility as a child, and probably didn't fly the coop intil their mid twenties. These people have no idea how to go about being an adult or being responsible for anything because they've never had to!