Quote:
Originally Posted by MissChievous
^ Very true Shimmer.
But still, no one should have to feel apologetic for having their college education paid for by family members. Education is a worthy investment, no matter who pays for it, some are just lucky to have parents who have enough money to afford a good education for their children. It's no reason for other students to be bitter and rude about it, simply because they had to take out a loan or something.
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Nobody should feel guilty for good luck. The only issue I have with this is that since fully parent-supported students never had the problem of "food or toilet paper?" a lot of them don't REALLY understand being broke --- or struggling. I've been accused of managing my money poorly by people who were (and sometime, still ARE) subsidized by their parents; it's offensive. I'm not in debt because I managed my money poorly; for most of my life there was nothing to manage! After rent and bills, it was all gone. I'm in debt because I paid for my own education and got a bunch of bad breaks afterwards (some healthwise, some because I never had parents who could get me the cushy internships and a foot in the door due to their connections, which is what I watched many of my paid-for peers do). Which is all well and good, but plz don't tell me it's my fault I have debt when I didn't get those advantages.
I have friends in my social circle who were given cars and even
houses by their parents. So when they say they're broke and then take expensive holidays abroad, I wonder --- what does broke mean to them? Certainly not what it means to me. I was dirt poor for most of my adult life; it definitely taught me the value of money and the value of hard work. I think a lot of them missed out on that and a a result, some of them don't appreciate what they have (and what they have been handed).
A lot of that is due to character and personality, of course, and there are some kickass people I know that have had a lot of parental support. But there's a definite experience and comprehension divide between the people who get stuff handed to them and those that work for their own money.
As for little kids... giving them too many material things ruins them
if it's combined with a lack of discipline. Some days I can barely stand to go out in public because of kids with the hysterical screaming I WANT I WANT I WANNNTTTs. I've sat at restaurants and watched parents be visibly charmed and delighted by how their undisciplined brat ran around the room and grabbed stuff off of people's tables. In one instance, I took back the cutlery the boy grabbed and pleasantly said "it's not nice to touch other people's things without asking." Which reduced the child to hysterical, persecuted tears and made their parents mad. Well, somebody had to correct the kid before the angry old man at the next table straight up clobbered him with his cane (he'd lost part of his appetizer... if the kid is tall enough to reach on the table, he's too tall to be grabbing like that).
No is probably the most important word a progeny can hear, whether it's "no, don't touch that" or "no, we're not paying for you to have Spring Break in Florida" or "no, we're not paying $80,000 for your wedding." IMO getting handed everything you want, the instant you want it with no effort on your part, isn't healthy for a person.
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I also noticed that the folks I know who continue to live at home well into their 20s (
if the dynamic remains the same as when they were a teen --- they don't pay rent, they don't contribute to the household or have responsibilities/bills, and aren't doing so for family caretaking reasons) don't mature in their relationships with their parents. I had a friend who is pushing 30 who still lives at home, doesn't work and is fully subsidized by her parents, and I had to stop talking to her because it was like speaking with a 13 year old. "I hate my Mom" and "I wish my brother would die" rants because they respectively didn't wash her yellow shirt and ate the last cookie. Grow the f**k up already.
