"nappy" vs. straight hair??

[HeavenLeiBlu]

Quote:

Originally Posted by openexpression My face is too full for short hair.

that's BULL!! LOL. I have worn my hair bald.... yes BALD several times, and not only do I have a full face, but a big ass head. AND I LOOKED GOOD, TOO! And I didn't need all the compliments I got to tell me so! LOL.


No, but seriously if you don't feel comfy with short hair...I can't begrudge you that, but there are plenty of chicas with full faces that can rock short hair.

 

[DigitalRain]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ClaireAvril anyone transitioning??

I am!! 9 weeks post.

 

[macfabulous]

i think that most people who relax their hair do it for 'managability' lol, some just prefer straight hair, i myself am mixed (half black, half white) and i always had super long, super soft curly hair. and then i decided to relax it, just for the sake of it and it made my hair drop out (so does hair dye by the way

) so i had to chop all my hair off and grow it back, thank God my hair grows fast and now i always let my hair air dry, and once every 6 weeks i have it, trimmed, blowdryed and straightened and i NEVER put any chemicals on it at all. lol

 

[lilMAClady]

As far as I'm concerned its much more manageable to be natural. Why would God give Black women and Black women only hair that needed to be processesd and obsessed over? I'm natural and its fluff and go. I agree with the intitial post. Do what you want with your hair but be honest about the reason. Where I'm from people want that straight sh*t cuz they think it makes them better and more acceptable. Untrue. You're still black. Other races are making a mint off the insecurities of Black women and I think its a shame. My hair is curly, nappy, beautiful and natural. I would never have it any other way. If I had a penny for every time a Black girl came up to me and said "OOOh I LOVE your hair!! But I could never wear mine like that. Its not me!" What does that mean?? We are not supposed to look like other people because we are ALL DIFFERENT!! It pisses me off really. People look at me like I'm crazy because I'm comfortable in my own skin, and they aren't. I went swimming with my sister and cousin and one refused to go under because she had just got her hair pressed and the other wouldn't get in for fear of losing her tracks. Yet they told me my locs were more maintainence...I think not!

 

[lafemmenoir]

Why does it matter what/how other people do their hair? All races do something to change their hair from its natural origin. Albeit chemical, color, texturize, weaves, wigs or extensions. This argument about the why people straighten or are natural is personal choice. No one, definitely not me, has to defend what they do and when people say why they do it, why argue with them. It's not that serious. Black women aren't the only ones who straighten their hair, just turn to Youtube and see how many woman of other races are straightening their 1,2,3 a/b hair and comparing the level of heat of CHI vs GHD et al. So what if a sister wants straight hair, she is never going to be anyone other than herself. Live and let live, don't like it, don't look, but getting preachy over hair? Really?

 

[metalkitty]

lafemmenoir's post sums up my general thoughts pretty much. Looking at women and beauty at large is seems as though we tend to want what doesn't come easilly or naturally... but life doesn't come easy and natural lol!
Manageability is debateable. I'm adjusting to rocking my natural and after a second tragic flat iron attempt today (3 hours battling tangled ends, trimming meticulously, twisting up) reminds me that working with the texture beats fighting it. Or I just need to work on technique...
I think it's really bad to put relaxer on a child though, glad my mom didn't. Even if the hair stays healthy the scalp is a whole nother story!

 

[munaluna]

Gag, I chopped off all of my hair in the beginning of January because my hair was so screwed up by constant relaxers and hair dye disasters. My hair was natural before when I was fourteen, so I already knew what my hair was going to look like; all-in-all, I am happy that I did it. It was a hard transition, but it had to be done. Relaxers would cost me $150 +tip every few months. Not to mention that they always left big scabs all over my scalp. There was a constant need to take care of my hair and I honestly got sick and tired of it. My hair went from this:

to this:

My hair was unhealthy/damaged. And honestly, I see a lot more unhealthy relaxed heads than healthy oneS. Good hair is healthy hair.

I was bald at the beginning of this year and it took a lot of loving and research to get to the point where I am today. I had to learn to love my hair. There is nothing wrong with kinky/curly hair. When I first chopped off my hair, my edges were thin and patchy. There was no curl pattern and my hair looked limp. Look at the patches and spaced out parts near my hairline

Anyway, I'm biased. I think that we, Black women, look better with natural fros. But when it all comes down to it, good hair is healthy hair.

 

[divineflygirl]

I'm 100% natural. I began to transition from relaxed to natural in May 2008. I simply trimmed the relaxed ends as my hair grew. I did wear kinky twists for a few months as well. I have had my hair relaxed from a very young age, because my mother couldn't manage my hair. I've gone the gamut...curls, leisure curls, relaxers, weaves(sew-in and glue-in), braids, etc... I have done alot of crap to my hair. I haven't treated it well at all, but it hasn't failed me yet!

Since, I made the decision to go natural I have been so very happy with my hair. No, my hair is not silky or fine textured. In fact, my hair soaks up moisture like nobody's business. If not properly "fed", I can have a dry, frazzled mess on my hands! *L* I have fallen in love with my hair. It amazes me every day, whether frustrating me because the curls won't hold from the twist-out that I was sure was going to be amazing in the morning to the days when I don't really do much and I get compliments everywhere I turn.

I haven't gotten really any negative feedback, just a few, when are you going to get a relaxer. Which, my answer is, "I'm not." Or why are you letting your hair grow. Which my answer is, "Because it's absolutely beautiful or because I got sick and tired of being in a salon for over six hours or I was tired of literally fearing the "burn" of getting a relaxer." I could go into a host of reasons that I do think I will get a relaxer again.

I don't really have much of an opinion of relaxers. I know for sure that they are not for me. They were killing my hair. Even the few times, when I had a wonderful hair dresser who do a perfect application of my relaxer, my hair was still just not "right" to me. It would grow but in a few months, I would notice breakage. Plus I wasn't one to keep a regular schedule getting a relaxer and would relax maybe one to three times a year at the most. My family consists of four women: My mother is relaxed, my younger sister and i have both gone natural, and my other sister has some of the most beautiful dreads I have ever seen. We all have different textures of hair. My mother has beautiful thick hair that she will forever relax and thinks we are crazy for not relaxing ours! *L* My younger sister truly doesn't need a relaxer. She has a fine texture, and just gets soft waves for new growth. I have kinky, kinky hair! And my other sister has about the same texture as my younger but long, long dreads now. To look at the women in my family, is simply a way to appreciate the differences in the nature of the tresses in our world.

I will never be one to say that it is easy. I think many women have touched upon that on here. There are times when I'm like...what in the H&*^ am I going to do with my hair today? I'm become a product junkie. I've become a product chemist. I've also vowed to teach my daughter that her hair is absolutely beautiful the way it is and there is no need to process it. (which is an entirely different story..little girls are crazy. *L*) It's never, ever boring!

My hair is "soft like cotton, flower petal billowy soft.." to quote Happy to Be Nappy! I love just touching it sometimes. I find myself just sitting and twirling ringlets in the back strands of my hair. *L*

Yes..I'm a little obsessed when it comes to my hair, but it's worth it!

 

[Sweexy985]

I've been relaxed, natural, you name it. Right now, though, I'm enjoying my natural hair. I do usually flat iron it, but I know that once the water hits, it's right back to natural. I love the optional approach. With perming, you can't have that option. It's either straight or nothing. So yeah....I love my flat iron dearly. lol

And definitely, there is much more upkeep to wearing our hair naturally (odd huh?) than straight. I don't know what my natural hair would look like without the help of a bunch of thick pomades, anti-frizz products, diffusers, etc...

 

[LatteQueen]

DAYUM YOU SHOULD POST YOUR COMMENT ON A YOUTUBE VIDEO PERSON CALLED..SHIMAHAIR21..THIS IS A BLACK female who puts down any female who wears any type of fake hair and puts chemicals in their own hair..she sounds like she's from the Island...she has really long hair and makes videos of it and oh well...just check it out...she's a trip...

 

[Nicala]

I've had my hair permanently straightened a few times since I was about 14 and a half. I'm hispanic (nicaraguan ethnicity, to be exact) and I haven't really had issues with my hair being damaged. I get it done at least once a year, I'm getting my 3rd one done next month (yay!) I had VERY crazy curls. To the point where if I stepped outside, my hair would look like a huge gigantic dust bunny. Probably worse than that. I always wanted to get my hair straightened permanently as it was a lot more versatile than my crazy, coarse, thick frizzy curls. I'm able to style my hair with ease. Also, I look ten times better with straight hair than I did with curly hair. While my hair grew, I would flat iron my hair so it wouldn't look funny with my roots being curly and the rest being straight. That would be plain weird.. Although, I have noticed my hair falls out a lot, but I'm stressed a lot of the time so that might explain why.

 

[BBJay]

I've never had a perm, but I've straightened my hair nearly every 2 weeks for the past 5 years or so. My hair is naturally curly and thick. It has a texture similar to that of someone who is biracial even though I am full black. For a long time, I hated my curly hair because I didn't like the way my mom styled it. It didn't make me feel pretty and kids at school made fun of me. I love my mom, but it just wasn't a good look. Now that I'm old enough to do it myself, I can appreciate my curls more and so do other people. The fact still is though, I feel like a different person with curly hair. I like it better when I have straight hair and I don't think it should be a problem that I do.

I understand the benefits and ideology behind natural hair, but I think that if someone doesn't like how their hair looks naturally, then they shouldn't feel obligated to keep it that way. If a weave or a wig or dreadlocks or a perm or twists or whatever makes someone feel good, then that's what they should do.

Specktra is primarily a cosmetic community, so specktrettes should be the most understanding of why someone would want to make adjustments to their physical appearance. If some doesn't like their weight, they lose weight. If someone doesn't like their hair color, they dye it. If they think their brows are too thin, they pencil them in. And I think if someone doesn't like their natural hair, they should be able to change it without being judged. End of story.

* Additional side note: the hair of very young children should simply be cared for without any extreme changes. Yes, its awful that toddlers are given perms, but I think its equally awful when I see small children with dreadlocks.

 

[Kragey]

Quote:

Originally Posted by shootout I hope I'm not out of place posting on this thread, and if I am, I'm sorry. Despite being white (Irish and Polish), I have extremely thick and curly hair, bordering on nappy. Every woman in my family has thin, straight hair, so growing up my hair was never properly cared for. My mom flat-ironed my hair everyday between the ages of 3-10. At 10 she decided she was tired of wasting time on it everyday, so she got it relaxed. I put up with relaxers every 6 weeks for 3 years, until I was finally allowed to make my own decisions regarding my hair. I got it all chopped off and started over, and I've left it natural since (with an occasional flat-ironing if it's really out of control, but this is rare). To this day my hair feels like plastic. I have scars on my scalp and the tops of my ears from the constant flat-ironing. I guess the point I'm trying to make is, while natural may not be the most convenient for some, without the proper care, relaxing takes its toll in the long run. So if you're going to relax, PLEASE care for your hair! I regret this everyday now.

Oh my Lord, same thing here on the family pressure front, except I managed to stop it before it went too far!

All of the ladies in my family have poker-straight hair, or just a wee bit of wave, and they'll do anything to get their hair super-straight. I have hair like my Dad's, though, which is fine and corkscrew curly. The thing is, both my dad and his sister keep their hair super-short, so you never really see the curl!

When I was little, everybody loved my curls and thought they were cute. Then I hit puberty, and suddenly it was "poofy" and "had to be straightened." I finally got my hair chemically straightened in the 6th grade, and OH MY GOD, I HATED IT!!! It looked ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE! Not only did the chemicals warp the crap out of my hair, but because my hair is so delicate and fine, it basically looked thin and straggly. Every time I mention this, to this day, my mom or my sister goes, "Oh, it looked so NICE when it was straight!" Half of the time I show them pictures from when my hair was straight, and I'm like, "HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT LOOKS NICE?!" No volume, lanky, unhealthy-looking....UUUUUGH!

I'm happy to say that I've pretty much sworn off straightening my hair for the rest of my life. Since that 6th grade fiasco, I've had it straightened with a flat-iron a couple of times, and every time I think it looks horrible. I did it for pictures once because I planned on wearing a hood, and then I pulled ALL of my hair to the front of my head so it would look very thick. And of course, I got 500 Facebook comments being all, "OH YOUR HAIR LOOKS SO NICE LIKE THIS WHY DON'T YOU STRAIGHTEN IT ALL THE TIME?" I know that 99% of it is coming from people who just like what's "different."

Nowadays, I do what I want, when I want with my hair, and it is super-healthy and gorgeous. I only use one product in my hair, a HG "glaze" that took me years to find; I use a pea-sized amount after my shower at night, then let my hair air-dry, and it completely eliminates my frizz. Other than that, no blow-drying, no gels, no flat-ironing...I use hairspray once in an absolute blue moon, but I always have to borrow that stuff, cause I don't own any!

I know that degenerated in to a rant, and I'm sorry.

It's just very annoying to me when people say I look "better" a certain way, even if I really don't, just because it's what they're not used to or it's what's "in." There's nothing wrong with using lots of products in your hair or doing anything "unnatural," but by the same token, people shouldn't feel forced in to tampering with their hair. Let people wear it how they like, natural or otherwise!

On a random side note: lately I've had a lot of people telling me my hair ISN'T corkscrew curly.

It drives me NUTS! It's like, "Excuse me, it's my damn hair, I know what it looks like!" Then I tell them, "Well, I shower at night and let my hair air-dry, so it's really curly THEN, but I brush it out and braid it at night so when I wake up it's easy to comb out," and they always ask me stuff like, "Well, why don't you just sleep on it without braiding it?" It's like, "Did you not just hear me say it's easier to brush out when it's been braided?!" Lord, the pain I experienced for the 15+ years of my life when I DIDN'T braid my hair at night...LOL!

 

[blazeno.8]

Quote:

Originally Posted by LatteQueen DAYUM YOU SHOULD POST YOUR COMMENT ON A YOUTUBE VIDEO PERSON CALLED..SHIMAHAIR21..THIS IS A BLACK female who puts down any female who wears any type of fake hair and puts chemicals in their own hair..she sounds like she's from the Island...she has really long hair and makes videos of it and oh well...just check it out...she's a trip...

This chick is nuts.

 

[clueless0506]

I've been completely natural for a little over a year. I only use 3 products and I do my hair once or twice a week. For me, relaxed hair was more costly and gave me less options. Also, every time I did my relaxer touch up, I'd go through anxiety thinking I'd over-process it or cause breakage. (I have trust issues though and before college my mom and my hairdresser from back home were the only people that I'd allow to touch my hair). When I was relaxed, my hair was either down or in a ponytail for the most part. But, I think manageability is something that is "self-defined." Also, one thing might work for one person and not work for the other. One person's easy/quick method may not work for the next person.

Being natural was hard in the beginning, but I've learned what my hair can do, as well as what it won't do. All the extra work I was doing in the beginning was mostly from me working against my hair instead of working with it.

 

[ginagate]

I work and live in the south and Natural hair hasn't caught on here as much as it has up north and in larger metropolitan areas. I'm 5 years natural now. I really like the idea of my natural hair but feel that there is still a standard of what is 'acceptable': i.e. neat, corkscrew, defined curls. I think that natural hair acceptance has a bit of a ways to go.

Finding out how to care for my hair has been a struggle, but worth it. I'd like to eventually gain some independence from my stylist, though.

I still don't really know how to style my hair beyond the 2 strand twists.

 

[makababy]

Good hair isnt about texture, it is about HEALTH. a lot people don't realize that, natural or relaxed. & I agree with OP about the idea of managability. I've been both relaxed and natural. Relaxed hair can be hard work, and natural hair is hard work too. Well not really hard, but both styles require TLC.

I also find the term nappy to be misplaced, almost borderline insulting. No one has nappy hair, you have curls and texture not naps. The term nappy is an attempt to insult those curls and texture because for a very long time (with the history of this country) they didn't fit what was ( and unfortunately in many cases what is) conceived as the standard of beauty.