Put your very very bad jokes in this thread and lets see who comes up with the worst

Katja

Well-known member
Re: Put your very very bad jokes in this thread and lets see who comes up with the worst

These were all from a radio source, which are some of my favorite favorite jokes.

1. What time did the Chinese guy go to the dentist??
..... (say punchline with a foreign Asian accent) Tooth-hurty! (2:30)
lol.gif


2. Did you hear about the new gay sitcom??
...... It's called Leave it, It's Beaver.
lmao.gif


3. What goes HA HA Thump Thump??
....... It's a guy... laughing his BALLS off. :brow:
 

Pei

Well-known member
Re: Put your very very bad jokes in this thread and lets see who comes up with the worst

OMG~

Those are really WTFish & silly =D
 

Chic 2k6

Well-known member
Re: Put your very very bad jokes in this thread and lets see who comes up with the worst

Q. What do you call a fish with no eyes?


A. a Fsh

lol a Tommy Cooper joke that is
 

thestarsfall

Well-known member
Re: Put your very very bad jokes in this thread and lets see who comes up with the worst

Q: Why did the boy fall off his bicycle
A: Because he got hit by a fridge

hahaa...I love nonsense ones

Q: why don't you like bees?
A: cuz they steal your honey and nectar

(nect-er...NECKED HER!!!!)
That one required explaination to me...haha


And yeah the baptist joke similar to the one told before:
why don't baptist's like fornication?
It might lead to dancing.


here's another random one from my memory:

Buddha walks up to a hotdog vendor and says "Make me one with everything."
 

YvetteJeannine

Well-known member
Re: Put your very very bad jokes in this thread and lets see who comes up with the worst

*Not to inflame or otherwise poke fun of the blind and/or deaf..As a matter of fact I have a great respect for hearing/seeing impaired*

I remember my cousin telling these jokes to me...He made them even funnier 'cause he's just one of those hilarious people that makes anything sound funny....

How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face?
.
.
.
.
She answered the iron



How did Helen Keller burn the other side of her face?
.
.
.
.
She answered the iron again!!



How did Helen Keller lose her arm?
.
.
.
.
She tried to read a STOP sign doin' 50 mph.



How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
.
.
.
.
They left the plunger in the toilet




Why didn't anyone hear Helen Keller when she fell off the cliff?

.
.
.
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She was wearing mittens



How did Helen Keller go mad?
.
.
.
.
She tried to read a stucco wall
 

macslut

Well-known member
Quote:
Originally Posted by claresauntie
Um... how many ministers have you dated!?

Two actually. Both Methodist. Nice guys just not for me.
 

queenofdisaster

Well-known member
Re: Put your very very bad jokes in this thread and lets see who comes up with the worst

i have a funny one hehe

The parish priest went on a fishing trip. On the last day of his trip he hooked a monster fish and proceeded to reel it in.
The guide, holding a net, yelled, "Look at the size of that Son of a Bitch!"
"Son, I'm a priest. Your language is uncalled for!"
"No, Father, that's what kind of fish it is - a Son of a Bitch fish!"
"Really? Well then, help me land this Son of a Bitch!"
Once in the boat, they marveled at the size of the monster. "Father, that's the biggest Son of a Bitch I've ever seen"
"Yes, it is a big Son of a Bitch. What should I do with it?"
"Why, eat it! Of course. You've never tasted anything as good as Son of a Bitch!"

Elated, the priest headed home to the rectory. While unloading his gear and his prize catch, Sister Mary inquired about his trip.
"Take a look at this big Son of a Bitch I caught!"
Sister Mary gasped and clutched her rosary, "Father!"
"It's OK, Sister. That's what kind of fish it is, a Son of a Bitch fish!"
"Oh, well then, what are you going to do with that big Son of a Bitch?"

Sister Mary informed the priest that the new Bishop was scheduled to visit in a few days and that they should fix the Son of a Bitch for his dinner.

"I'll even clean the Son of a Bitch", she said.

As she was cleaning the huge fish, the Friar walked in. "What are you doing Sister?"
"Father wants me to clean this big Son of a Bitch for the new Bishop's Dinner"
"Sister! I'll clean it if you're so upset! Please watch your language!"
"No, no, no, it's called a Son of a Bitch Fish."
"Really? Well, in that case, I'll fix up a great meal to go with it, and that Son of a Bitch can be the main course! Let me know when you've finished cleaning that Son of a Bitch."

On the night of the new Bishop's visit, everything was perfect. The Friar had prepared an excellent meal. The wine was fine, and the fish was excellent.

The new Bishop said, "This is great fish, where did you get it?"
"I caught that Son of a Bitch!" proclaimed the proud priest.
"And I cleaned the Son of a Bitch!" exclaimed the Sister.
The Friar added, "And I prepared the Son of a Bitch, using a special recipe!

The new Bishop looked around at each of them. A big smile crept across his face as he said,
"You fuckers are my kind of people!"
 

MAC is love

Well-known member
Re: Put your very very bad jokes in this thread and lets see who comes up with the worst

haha k i have 2:

The Captain called the Sergeant in. "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones' mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me."

So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. "Listen up, men," says the Sergeant. "Johnson, report to the mess hall for KP. Smith, report to Personnel to sign some papers. The rest of you men report to the Motor Pool for maintenance. Oh by the way, Jones, your mother died, report to the commander."

Later that day the Captain called the Sergeant into his office. "Hey, Sarge, that was a pretty cold way to inform Jones his mother died. Couldn't you be a bit more tactful, next time?"

"Yes, sir," answered the Sarge.

A few months later, the Captain called the Sergeant in again with, "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private McGrath's mother died. You'd better go tell him and send him in to see me. This time be more tactful."

So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation. "Ok, men, fall in and listen up." "Everybody with a mother, take two steps forward." "Not so fast, McGrath!"

andddddd..

Why did the roman chicken cross the road?
She was afraid someone would caeser!

hahaha
smiles.gif
 

Hawkeye

Well-known member
Re: Put your very very bad jokes in this thread and lets see who comes up with the worst

LOL I love the first one.
 

amelia.jayde

Well-known member
Re: Put your very very bad jokes in this thread and lets see who comes up with the worst

Q: what kind of person takes a nap?
A: a tired one.

haha. ha.
 

claresauntie

Well-known member
Re: Put your very very bad jokes in this thread and lets see who comes up with the worst

More! More! I need more bad jokes!
 

ccarp001

Well-known member
Quote:
Originally Posted by thestarsfall
What's brown and sticky?
A Stick.


thats my fav lame joke ever! i've never heard anyone else tell it!
smiles.gif
 

Sanne

Well-known member
Re: Put your very very bad jokes in this thread and lets see who comes up with the worst

Q; do you know the difference between a teabag and a used tampon??
no?
then I ain't coming over to drink tea with you!!!
 

MissMarley

Well-known member
Re: Put your very very bad jokes in this thread and lets see who comes up with the worst

How do you stop a clown from laughing??






Hit him in the face with an axe.

My favorite joke ever.
 

iamlelilien

Well-known member
Re: Put your very very bad jokes in this thread and lets see who comes up with the worst

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sanne
Q; do you know the difference between a teabag and a used tampon??
no?
then I ain't coming over to drink tea with you!!!


Hahaha I love this one.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
- the Holocaust.
 

Pei

Well-known member
Re: Put your very very bad jokes in this thread and lets see who comes up with the worst

I love that sonofthebitch joke! =D
(The last line LOL)

Very funny & nt lame at all.
 

thestarsfall

Well-known member
Quote:
Originally Posted by ccarp001
thats my fav lame joke ever! i've never heard anyone else tell it!
smiles.gif


Yeah, I am the only one of my friends who tells it...

smiles.gif
 

princessOfpOi

Active member
Re: Put your very very bad jokes in this thread and lets see who comes up with the worst

I have some to add...

1.Some computer fonts walk into a bar. The barman shouts, 'Oi!! We don't want your type in here..
2. Have you ever noticed that if you say the words 'beer can'', you sound like someone with a Jamaican accent saying 'bacon'?..It amuses me every day...
 

Daligani

Well-known member
Re: Put your very very bad jokes in this thread and lets see who comes up with the worst

OMG I have laughed out loud to so many of these!
lmao.gif


Alrighty, I have one
greengrin.gif


An elderly couple were sitting on the front porch swing just swinging away when suddenly..

Little old lady yells out: FUCK!!!!
Little old man says: SUCK!!!!

The little old lady turns to her husband and says, "Man, this oral sex shit is for the birds"..
 

Hawkeye

Well-known member
Re: Put your very very bad jokes in this thread and lets see who comes up with the worst

This is a real groaner of a joke:

What do you call my nacho cheese?

"not ch yo cheese"
 
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