Self Image Issues???

[capspock]

Look, I didn't read all the posts but I did read your first post. I had MANY issues before. I feel pretty good now, at 33, after years of therapy. Therapy does wonders. Try something more to the point like a behaviorist shrink. Don't you ever loose your time on Jungians and analyzing dreams and all that shit.

A shrink can also help you with medication. It is not uncommon at all. When I first started going to a shrink I was so worried I was "crazy” or something like that. You have no idea of the amount of people you consider "normal" who go to a shrink and take medication. I take Prozac for years now.

 

[capspock]

Quote:

Originally Posted by dollbabybex maybe its a girl thing?

It is not a girl thing. It is a damn media thing, which imposed to young girls a whole bunch of BS. Oh, boy, this is such a lengthy subject!!!!

 

[JULIA]

I agree with you capspock. I had esteem issues before, but then I started buying magazines and went on the internet more and I was suddenly bombarded with images of photoshopped, beautiful women. I was convinced that in order to be accept you had to look the way these girls did.

 

[MAChostage]

Quote:

Originally Posted by wattage Seriously, you gotta watch out for "Frenemies"... they will be the end of your self-esteem if you let them!!

"Frenemies"... WOW. What a great term and such sage advice!

 

[Bootyliciousx]

I have self esteem issue as well. I cannot leave the house without concealor or foundation on. I think you should not compare yourself, I know its hard, to your freinds or other people. God made you so you are beautiful = ) Does not matter what anyone else thinks. You are absolutely beautiful

 

[Raerae]

Save a spot for me on the bus! I hate my body too!

LOL

Sometimes I like reading these threads because the make you realise how silly things are... For a moment anyways...

My self esteem goes in rollercoasters... Right now it's fairly low... it used to be a lot higher. I'm sure it will go up again.

I wish I had a stop watch that kept track of all the time I've spent in front of the mirror looking at myself wishing i looked like someone else.

 

[joytheobscure]

Quote:

Originally Posted by JULIA I agree with you capspock. I had esteem issues before, but then I started buying magazines and went on the internet more and I was suddenly bombarded with images of photoshopped, beautiful women. I was convinced that in order to be accept you had to look the way these girls did.

Just watching TV nowadays though, but you'll see if you watch movies made in the 80s- early 90s before they were all perfected and women looked "real" and not all plastic and perfect its reassuring. I also thought you needed to look like those girls but I even think if you do look closer to some of those girls you'll be shunned by women because you are attractive...Heck, I'm an adult and I still want to look like the girls in the magazines..

 

[joytheobscure]

Quote:

Originally Posted by JULIA Sweetheart, what you're feeling is something I can definitely relate too. I wake up an extra hour and a half earlier than necessary for school just so I can pick at my hair and makeup for even longer. I do not take pictures, order school pictures (I did not take Grade 8 graduation pictures) or allow my pictures to be placed out in the open for fear that someone will see all my flaws. I feel so disgusting around my friends (yet they're the ones who say that I'm very attractive). I obsess over models/famous females and get really critical about myself when I realize that I'm so "blah" compared to them. I can sit in a mirror for hours and hours and find all these flaws, yet when I pick them out to someone they say "you're crazy". I don't go out much and when I do, I never stay out for long. I don't really meet new people either because I'm so scared to know that they're judging me based on my looks. ='[ I just get really down when I realize that I'm not the typical skinny girl. I guess its because of the negative comments I've heard people say about me and it really hurts. I've convinced myself that being perfect is the only way to be and its really scary because I don't want to be that 50 year old women you see with millions of dollars worth of plastic surgery who still feels worthless on the inside.

Aww, well I think personality plays into some of these issues too, I'm very reserved and shy and most people do not think I'm friendly until they really get to know me. In HS people *guys* called me "cold" or "ice woman" --- It takes a lot for me to relax around "real people" -I'm much more outgoing on the internet, lol! I don't like talking to people or even greeting them and don't make eyecontact with people (well, adults - I am fine in a class with kids or up on a stage speaking to people...)

I think one negative comment will impact you more than 100 compliments. I haven't had many negative comments in a long time - an occasional comment about my teeth -. but I can stand that now. I still feel like I should be on extreme makeover but when I look at pics of me next to other people I can think I look better than them. So its like I'm on both ends of the specktrum on what I feel about my looks... I was encouraged to take acting and modeling classes as as teen and told I looked like people on TV but I always felt like Shrek, LOL!! Luckily being married for ten years alleviated some of my self esteem issues and trying to be a role model for young people helps.

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by joytheobscure I think one negative comment will impact you more than 100 compliments.

SOOOOOOO true, especially if it hits a part of your self image your sensitive about.

 

[Katura]

This thread is great, it makes these feelings a little easier knowing and having evidence that everyone goes through this at some point or another...
Kels, I hope everything is getting better, we're always here for you girl!

<3

 

[Katura]

Quote:

Originally Posted by joytheobscure Aww, well I think personality plays into some of these issues too, I'm very reserved and shy and most people do not think I'm friendly until they really get to know me. In HS people *guys* called me "cold" or "ice woman" --- It takes a lot for me to relax around "real people" -I'm much more outgoing on the internet, lol! I don't like talking to people or even greeting them and don't make eyecontact with people (well, adults - I am fine in a class with kids or up on a stage speaking to people...)

I know how this goes alll too well, I'm an observer and until I can 'read' people I get pretty quiet. I've been called everything under the sun from 'a b*tch' 'a snob' 'stuck up' and been told that I give dirty looks. I dont really think I give looks, I think I just look kind of serious alot of the time...But it took me forever to relax and let go in front of my boyfriends friends and my roommates last year. Even this past weekend, when I met my boyfriends mom for the first time (super important to me to try and make a good first impression) She told my boyfriend, right in front of me, that I talk with my eyes and wasnt giving very good looks. I was mortified. A few minutes later, I guess he had talked to her and told her I was ridiculously shy and just quiet. She came back over and started chatting me up! By the end of the night I was perfectly sociable , having a great time, a little tipsy from some maragritas..haha, and by the time we left I felt like she liked me.

I'm just slow to warm up to new situations and people I think...

 

[Shimmer]

For me, as I've gotten older, and surrounded myself with people I love and who love me, the self image issues have shed away.
Thank goodness.

 

[Kels823]

editd, nvmd.

 

[Shimmer]

sometimes we all need a breather.

 

[MxAxC-_ATTACK]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Katura I know how this goes alll too well, I'm an observer and until I can 'read' people I get pretty quiet. I've been called everything under the sun from 'a b*tch' 'a snob' 'stuck up' and been told that I give dirty looks. I dont really think I give looks, I think I just look kind of serious alot of the time...But it took me forever to relax and let go in front of my boyfriends friends and my roommates last year. Even this past weekend, when I met my boyfriends mom for the first time (super important to me to try and make a good first impression) She told my boyfriend, right in front of me, that I talk with my eyes and wasnt giving very good looks. I was mortified. A few minutes later, I guess he had talked to her and told her I was ridiculously shy and just quiet. She came back over and started chatting me up! By the end of the night I was perfectly sociable , having a great time, a little tipsy from some maragritas..haha, and by the time we left I felt like she liked me. I'm just slow to warm up to new situations and people I think...

Oh god,. Haha .. I am also VERY SHY at first, and my boyfriends mom has never been very nice to me because of it.

I have a hard time looking people straight in the eyes when talking to them at first... and she was like
"what the hell is wrong with you, why cant you look me in the eye.. are you Autistic or something!?"

I was SO ANGRY! LIke autism has ANYTHING to do with it. She doesnt even know what it is. and no im not autistic, and even if i was, she had no right to say it.

I just have issues with being shy but im perfectly normal after a while if you dont make me feel like I shouldnt be saying a word ever, (like she still does after 4 and a half years)

but anyways.. she also has a way of making me feel terrible about myself.. I do have a little extra baggage(im not HUGE), And I am a brunette, which she pointed out to him once... and said he needed a Thinner Prettier blonde. One of his friends told me I was fat once too.. and i felt Terrible I cried, because well I am a cry baby.. ..things are hard.

 

[metal_romantic]

Time for me to join the club! (I thought I WAS the club...)
I feel awful reading some of these stories... but it is nice to know I am not alone. It's an old thread but I was considering posting something like this but was too embarrassed... so I will resurrect this instead- I'm sure it's still relevant.

I've always hated the way I look. Sometimes I cry when I look in the mirror because I hate my looks so much and I can't stand the thought of anyone seeing me. I feel so ashamed. I want to get better and accept myself but I don't know how to because I cannot seem to convince myself that I am not unattractive.

 

[Tahti]

*hugs to everyone on this thread!..*

I'll join the club too. I totally over analyze all my features, criticize and compare all the time.. Strangely enough though I have no clear image of what I look like, sometimes when I get up in the morning and look in the mirror I get shocked at what I see there, because it looks like a stranger - a stranger I don't like.

I don't like what I see in a reflection, and I don't like what I see 'inside'. Inside of me I can picture an image of my face at all, probably because without makeup I look so bland, and I see an overweight, short body. It's difficult because logically I -know- I'm not short, and I'm not overweight, but my mind thinks I am.

I never remember liking myself, all the way back to 6 and I remember looking at my friend and being sad because I wasn't beautiful and thin like her. The only time I ever feel comfortable is when I have a 'mask' of makeup up - when I paint a face on, it feels like I have something there.