Such crap....

[puncturedskirt]

My boyfriend is the same exact way. If he's not working or sleeping, He's playing video games. Now don't get my wrong, i love to play video games too and we play together sometimes, but i'd like to actually go out and do something other than gaming. So I can kind of relate.

 

[MadchenRogue]

When people move in together, regardless of the status to me its a marriage. A marriage of personalities, beliefs and cultures. For you to move showed the amount of love and faith you have for your BF. I respect that, its not easy to leave what you have grown to know. There are things that must be answered for you to get the proper advice. For example: what are the age difference ( are you the oldest one in the relationship), education ( is he college educated), values ( do you share the same values), and the most important...perception. When you agreed to move, what idea did you have in mind how the relationship was going to evolve vs. how your boyfriend approached the idea of you moving in with him... regardless of whose idea was it in the first place to move in with him.
When people move in, they clash. It is just the same when you get married, same principle ( believe me I went through it). You get to see him for who he really is and vice versa. But the most important thing you need to answer for yourself is "What kind of man is he"? And only time will tell you that answer. My only fear for you is that should you decide to break it off, this experience will shape your perception of marriage. Because legally once you are married its not like you can just get a divorce and be done with. Its an emotional separation and can emotionally scar you. I am not saying your BF is the most horrible, insensitive guy in the world...only you can truly answer this question. But for a relationship to survive the ups and downs, you really--BOTH OF YOU-- need to have strong and open communication. Thats means when HE talks to you...no rolling the eyes ( I am guilty of that), not interrupting when he talks ( yes I am guilty of that) and NO jumping in conclusions ( guilty again). Whether its marriage or moving in, a committed relationship is daily work and it wont be perfected overnight and it won't be easy. This move of yours does not only show your love, BUT THE FAITH you have in this relationship. And faith my friend, will always be tested in many ways. You need to set time for you to talk and express your feelings, time for you to be together and have your relationship grow daily. IF he refuses to make any adjustments, or have some middle ground...this is only a hint of the man he would be SHOULD YOU decide to make your union official. Should 6 months- to a year pass and there is no improvement ( and by improvement I mean---he has not designated a time to spent time with you/computer time...improve his anger issues...he is more open with you), then you need to ask yourself if your time should be consumed on trying to make the relationship work or let it go.

 

[alexisdeadly]

My senior year of college my bf and I both played WoW. I stopped playing because I became swamped with school work (6 classes). He became addicted and I gave him an ultimatum (which I did not want to do) and he gave up playing. He hasn't touched it since and we've just hit 5 years together three months ago. I just started playing again this month but evrything in my life comes before WoW. I am more addicted to video games than he but I know my priorities.


Good luck Hilly!

 

[Temptasia]

Two more days until the two month break!

I had to take a picture of this:

Normally my cat and the bf do not get along. I think the cat knew I was being neglected and wanted to distract him from the game as well. haha

 

[xphoxbex]

OMG HILLY GIRL.... I am facing the same exact problem. Well my bf and I were dating for 8 months before he moved in with me. He's from TX. I also knew he liked to play video games, but not this much (much like your situation). Every moment he gets a chance to, he'll play Starcraft (that game that looks like bugs). Everytime his friend calls him to play starcraft, he'll immediately drop everything and play. And every single time the Cowboys are playing (his favorite team) he'll make me sit there and watch the whole damn game. Its really annoying. I'm not even into sports. Everytime we go shopping together he takes soooooo long because "he has to finish this round first". Everytime he's ready to go somewhere to do his shit, I'll get ready really fast. Not to mention, he also goes right to bed after he gets done playing/ after the football game is over. He'll never stay up and spend time with me. He will go straight to bed. Trust me girl, I know how you feel. And what I usually do is just ignore him when he's ready for dinner. He'll be like what's for dinner, I'll shrug (while eating). Then he'll soon realize that I'm pissed... He'll start to sweet talk me and thats when I fail.

 

[chocodcocoa]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dark_Phoenix World of Warcraft Role Playing and Birth Control Device I was waaaay into World of Warcraft before I met my boyfriend and we raid together in the same guild, it works because I'm a warlock and he's a tank so we don't compete over gear. If your boyfriend is really into WoW then he has a raiding schedule, every guild does and any other raids outside of it are called PUGS (pick up groups) and they aren't that important. I think understanding the addiction and what goes into it (raiding, pugs, farming, etc..) is important to making compromises with the player. I met my boyfriend doing something nerdier than WoW... World of Darkness role playing. It's "real life" and yes, you do sit around a table and pretend to be different characters. It rocks.

I HATE RAIDS. SOMEHOW MY BF THINKS ITS A VALID REASON FOR HIM TO BACK OUT OF OUR PLANS JUST BECUS HIS GUILD IS EXPECTING HIM TO RAID.
What makes guys think that it's okay to ditch someone for some stupid game in a virtual reality? Now I have been addicted to games back in the day... I once played for 2 days nonstop. So I totally get the urge to play... but I only get to see him once a month at most since it's stupid long d =(

WOW SUCKS. I HATE WOW.

 

[matsubie]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Temptasia Two more days until the two month break! I had to take a picture of this: Normally my cat and the bf do not get along. I think the cat knew I was being neglected and wanted to distract him from the game as well. haha

HAHAHAHAHAAH!

you guys, seriously...

i was reading this thread and i could not stop laughing.

first of all, hilly, i totally understand your situation. because i'm on the same boat.

i used to live in chicago and my boyfriend and i did long distance thing for 3 years until i could not bear it anymore and decided to be proactive, found a job in ny and moved out to nyc and am living with my boyfriend of 4 1/2 years now. i've been out here for almost 2 years but i'm still a chicagoan at heart and i still root for my CUBBIES/bears/bulls (hilly, i'm sure you'd understand b/c you are a fellow chicagoan-at-heart, too)..

anyway.

first off, my boyfriend is a friggin WoW addict, too. just the mere fact that i call it "WoW" makes me feel retarded. anyway, ever since we've been together, we've had this problem. every waking hour (when he's not at work) he's on his computer with his microphone/headphones on and talking to his "wow" buddies. if his profession could be a WoW player, he'd never whine about work. he laughs and chats with people while i stare at him like a hawk.

obviously, for over 5 years, i've dealt with this.....and many times i get pissed off not for the mere fact that he's on his computer ALL THE TIME but more so that i moved away from EVERYTHING that i've known in chicago to be here with him to watch him play WoW all the time.

when i ask him to get off, he's usually nice about it and when i suggest doing something together, he usually gets his butt off the computer.

i love my bf dearly, i think this is why i've dealt with this for so long....but sometimes it gets ridiculous.

on days he's not willing to compromise with me, i just go out and do my own thing...study, do work at home, go to MAC...whatever. working full-time and grad school is not fun.

but hilly, i just wanted to let you know that i'm on the same boat with you in EVERY POSSIBLE WAY so i just wanted to let you know that. =)

and temptasia, haha...i showed my bf the pic of your boyfriend and we could not stop laughing at how identical they look at this exact moment. except, in place of your cat, our 80-pound golden retriever is resting his chin/head on my boyfriend's thighs...haha

 

[matsubie]

also, what are your bfs' names on WoW?

maybe they can meet in their "WoW" world and they can realize that they need to do something else in their free time. d'oh!

 

[S.S.BlackOrchid]

He sounds addicted. I'm a gamer myself, and so are some of my friends. There are some who can relax while playing, not get stressed when they're not winning, and then get up when they need to go take care of something else, or go to class. Then there's the type who will sit there for hours, be stressed out over everything, call you names if you're making their team lose, skip classes, etc. I'd suggest talking to him about your your needs, and if he can't be sensitive to you and adjust, you should move on.

 

[faithhopelove24]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hilly Thus far after our talk (basically he was defensive and I was sad/bitching), I have not been friendly with him, talking to him more than I have to. It's apparent I am still upset...I don't care if he comes home with some MAC and cookies, I sitll will be pissed..I need to see him change. He did rent some movies last night, but I got out of work late. Well see. He was still playing last night and acting as jovial as ever. The thing with just packing up and giving him that ultimatum, is I cant. My family and life prior to this is Chicago. I work here and all that. I could stay at a friends house perhaps. I need a better ultimatum because me moving back or breaking up with him can't work or cut it at this point. And believe me...i've tried witholding sex as well lol.

The bitter truth... nothing you do or withhold from him will change him. It may modify his behavior for a little while but eventually he'll go back to doing what he was doing before. UNLESS he sees his video games as a problem that it is driving a wedge between you two. So basiclly, you have to learn to "deal" with it(with a good attitude) or leave. Simple, to the point, but very hard to hear. Sorry. (again this is just my opinion so please don't be too mad at me

 

[Obreathemykiss]

Bah! The video game phenomenon sucks my left nipple...but in that annoying please stop kinda way!!

My ex and I pretty much broke up because of lacking measures...and a big one of the lacks was lack of attention from him....because of video games.

I swear on my life he would play seriously for 8 hours a day. He would RENT a game and beat it in one night. Nothing could take him away but food.

We stopped being sexually active, communicating correctly, and pretty much loving each other because of video games.

It started off cool, he would do that, I would do my own thing, but then it progressed into something terrible. I was so deprived of what a relationship should be because of the damn x box....i mean EX BOX. Eventually, once we moved in together, it just got progressively worse. To the point we were arguing and he was still glued to the tv.

I would get so pissed I wanted to take each game and the console, leave it in the middle of the street and watch someone run over it.

Needless to say, we ended on bad terms...3 years and it was gone.

Now, we talk from time to time and he always tells me how he regrets that because before the video games, everything was so awesome.

I just couldn't do it anymore. It was like his attitude revolved around how the game turned out. It's not cool when someone has changed their attitude because they lost a game.

I tried the talking thing. I tried the opposite and disappeared when he was so into it...I tried damn near everything and unfortunately, nothing broke his addiction.

I now hate video games. I like the Wii because I can play that and get the concept, but whatever happened to just spending quality time?!!!

Another story...
Alright, so I work in a call center for TiVo and do executive relations for them. Within the call center, there is other clients...and one of them used to be Blizzard...the wonderful makers of WOW.
I heard awful stories. The agents were actually suicide trained and were trained on how to handle suicidal players who were upset about one thing or another.

Stories of child neglect, animal neglect, and actual suicides. The headquarters actually got shot up because of people so upset over this game!!!

I don't understand how something can consume someone so much!
I must admit, yes, Specktra is a slight addiction. I also (unfortunately)smoke which is obviously an addiction which I am desperately trying to quit...

But I don't let it come between my friends, family, relationship, attitude, mood, etc.

My advise is to talk to him and tell him how you feel. Let him know that it is an issue, and you don't mind it, but there needs to be some type of time limit. Let him know exactly what is going on in that pretty little head of yours!

Otherwise, I vote...we give all consoles a sick virus that cannot be reversed!ha