There is a strange animal under my bed....

[SparklingWaves]

My husband does not like to kill things. He will catch it and show it to me. Then, he returns it to nature.

When he is not home, those things tend to show up .

 

[rbella]

If it is a roach, it doesn't deserve to live. They are evil, pure evil.

 

[Monsterbilly]

Quote:

Originally Posted by rbella You all see this: I see this:

haha i see this

Look how adorable they are

I use to have a couple of salamanders, some people find it gross, i think they were the cutest thing

 

[lizardprincesa]

OMGoddess!! I can't take this thread any more!
I am alternately hysterically laughing, or nauseous.

To set the record straight, I am not really a lizard.
(I'm not a princess, either.)
(My user name is in reference to the poet, James Douglas Morrison; he wasn't a lizard, either, but "The Lizard King" was a persona which developed somehow while he was performing. I don't think he loved being called "The Lizard King;" or the fun wore off after awhile.)


I am, actually, frightened of Lizards AND I'm Terrified of:

Spiders
Snakes
Most insects which have legs or that *fly*
Bats
All rodents
Anything slithery or slimy I forgot. I can't bear to think of or name more, because I am raising my blood pressure more than it's already risen due to having read this entire thread.
​

rbella, You are a fabulous writer. I think you ought to write a daily column. However, if your subject matter resembles the subject of this thread,
I'm sorry, but I will not be able to read it.

I haven't eaten Today, & it's 2:18 PM on the clock.
I don't think I want to eat, now.
​

A couple of hilariously funny people who posted do what I do, implementation of the "push it with something & cover it up" method...I do this immediately, & hopefully, I'm able to omit the "move it" part. I LOVED some of the posters' stories. I'd name you all, but must write quickly. I hear a funny buzzing sound & I'm sitting *on my bed.*. Oh, sh**...

If my husband is not at home:

1) I scream so loudly, people in the neighborhood must assume I am either
a) being killed, or b) in the throes of ecstacy

2) I clamp something down over it (whatever is nearby, i.e. the coffee *mug* (one which I don't plan to drink from ever again, kept especially for such occasions.)

(If the intruder is too large, I will place a garbage can lid atop. If it is moving, I will grab my son & leave the house, to wait outside until the cats take care of it, or until my husband arrives (even if it will be hours & I have no car available.)

(I pray the Creature will not suffer, if the Cats find it.
They are a vicious 4-Pack.)
​

3) I email or call my husband at work. If I reach him by phone, from the sound of my incoherently hysterical screams, he assumes someone has died.

If my hubby cannot come home immediately:

4) If the offender is small & I have successfully trapped it, I worry about its breathing... &
I keep watch.


If my husband *is* home, I scream hysterically (as described in step 1, above).

He says, "I'll take care of that," in his most testosterone-filled voice.

I beg, "No! Please don't kill it! Please please! Just set it free outside! Make sure it's far away, though!!"

anyway...

Thanks for the laughs (& the grossness! eeeewww!)

CherylFaith
​

 

[MACATTAK]

Rbella...I see what you see! No way would I think that thing is cute...especially living rent free in my home!!!!!!!!!

 

[Sanayhs]

There are much cuter geckos out there. I've mostly just had mouse run-ins... my first was when I was about thirteen or fourteen, and I was sitting barefoot at the computer. I heard something, and looked down, and there was a mouse running by about a centimetre from my feet. I ran upstairs to find my mother and said, "MOM! There's a mouse in the basement! It ran by my bare feet and I've named it Mortimer!" She looked absolutely horrified at the news of a mouse, and then stopped, looked shocked and started to laugh when she realized I'd named it.

I had a cat that loved me dearly and would hunt for presents for me. She'd leave mice on the dining room table, in my shoes, hanging off a purse, et cetera. For as long as I lived with that cat (my mom drove over her one day, and that was the end of the kitty

), I always shook out my shoes before putting them on.

So, hey, maybe FiFi's laziness isn't quite so bad?

 

[lizardprincesa]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sanayhs There are much cuter geckos out there. I've mostly just had mouse run-ins... my first was when I was about thirteen or fourteen, and I was sitting barefoot at the computer. I heard something, and looked down, and there was a mouse running by about a centimetre from my feet. I ran upstairs to find my mother and said, "MOM! There's a mouse in the basement! It ran by my bare feet and I've named it Mortimer!" She looked absolutely horrified at the news of a mouse, and then stopped, looked shocked and started to laugh when she realized I'd named it.

LOL ! That's adorable! I'm so scared of mice, I can't even touch the subject.

Quote:

I had a cat that loved me dearly and would hunt for presents for me. She'd leave mice on the dining room table, in my shoes, hanging off a purse, et cetera. For as long as I lived with that cat (my mom drove over her one day, and that was the end of the kitty ), I always shook out my shoes before putting them on.

I'm sooo sorry about your kitty.

Our kitties do love to gift us, don't they?

One Evening, when I was in my 1st marriage, my kitty, Aiki, started acting extra-affectionate, and she actually seemed ecstatic! I wasn't sure what was up, if she'd gotten into the nip stash again, or what.
She was a joyful little girl, but she seemed *extra* lovey that Eve.

Later that Night, I went upstairs & prepared for bed. I pulled down my covers, & I remarked, "Oh, the bed feels so soft and almost...furry....OMG! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!"
Aiki had left me a gift, a little grey house-mouse (indoor kitty, she was) *beneath* the bedclothes, exactly where I slept.

Blessings, Aiki, I still miss you, wherever Lives your sweet Spirit.

Blessings to your kitty, too, Sanayhs, & to all our Beloved Kitty Companions.

xxxCF
​

 

[macslut]

Quote:

Originally Posted by rbella You all see this: I see this:

 

[Divinity]

Quote:

Originally Posted by rbella If it is a roach, it doesn't deserve to live. They are evil, pure evil.

Kills me to know that those suckers survive nuclear destruction too.

 

[rbella]

Ok, monster-those pics are so gross I can't deal with it. Why the hell would someone VOLUNTARIY touch one of these?

Lizard- you are too sweet to me! Thanks for the lovely compliment! Your method of bug evasion is similar to my sisters!

 

[lizardprincesa]

Quote:

Originally Posted by rbella Ok, monster-those pics are so gross I can't deal with it. Why the hell would someone VOLUNTARIY touch one of these?

I know!! Eeek! I think my son likes the slithery *toys* he sees in the stores.
I can't even look at *those*!
My hubby is very scientific *and* into Nature...& he is also a little boy at Heart (are they all??)
My hubby brought a bunch of baby hedgehogs into his house when he was little, & who knows *what else*???? I don't think the hedgehogs are so scary, but they do look spikey...


Please somebody tell me my son is not going to bring scary monsters into the house...(including rubber spiders)
(my fingers tremble when I write the word "spider".)


Please tell me my two men aren't going to conspire against me
with slithery, multi-legged pals. !!!!
​

Quote:

Lizard- you are too sweet to me! Thanks for the lovely compliment!

You do compose a story really well, rbella.

But wait....you can't be speaking to me. You must be speaking to your housemate??
​

*If* you are speaking to *me,* rbella, I am *not* a Lizard, as I said before. "Lizard" is a nickname I do not wish to gain (which of these smiley things shows "horrified" ?)

If I am being conceited and you are not, indeed, addressing me, please forgive me! I don't win either way

(I've never used that icon before.)

Quote:

Your method of bug evasion is similar to my sisters!

Does your sister have a little boy, too?
I am freaked out thinking about the crawly things, even tho they are Creatures of Nature.
I know they are waiting.....

FYI, rbella, I spent the rest of the yesterday in a state of paranoia. I heard & saw Creatures (way teenier than your houseguest) at every turn. I cleaned
in an obsessive way. I don't generally clean obsessively. My son didn't know
what was up! He was laughing!

(I suppose I ought to thank you, rbella ::jumps & turns frightened eyes sideways:: My house hasn't been this clean in quite awhile.)

If you weren't speaking to me, please disregard the entirety of this silly diatribe, as well as my conceit at thinking you meant me by addressing "Lizard".

xxxCherylFaith

Yesterday

 

[GreekChick]

Quote:

Originally Posted by rbella You all see this: I see this:

WTH is that second thing? Whatever it is, shouldn't it be extinct with the rest of them???

 

[duckduck]

Quote:

Originally Posted by GreekChick WTH is that second thing? Whatever it is, shouldn't it be extinct with the rest of them???

I'm really wondering too - I can't look at it nearly long enough to figure it out though

 

[rbella]

Dang, ladies! That is the Montauk Sea Monster that "supposedly" washed up on shore in the Hamptons. Yuck!!!!!

Here is a link to an article on it: http://hamptons.plumtv.com/blog/whats_going/paging_darwin_montauk_%E2%80%9Csea_monster%E2%80%9 D_real_or_photoshop_phantasy

 

[rbella]

Quote:

Originally Posted by lizardprincesa But wait....you can't be speaking to me. You must be speaking to your housemate?? ​ *If* you are speaking to *me,* rbella, I am *not* a Lizard, as I said before. "Lizard" is a nickname I do not wish to gain (which of these smiley things shows "horrified" ?) If I am being conceited and you are not, indeed, addressing me, please forgive me! I don't win either way (I've never used that icon before.)

You aren't being conceited at all, you're so funny. I just called you "Lizard" b/c it is the beginning of your username. I'll have to come up with a nickname for you. From now on, I shall address you as "LP". Sorry if I hurt your feelers.


Quote:

Originally Posted by lizardprincesa Does your sister have a little boy, too?

Yes, she has a 13 month old. I love him so much! Even if he brought me a roach, I would still love him. I'd throw up, but I'd still love him.

Quote:

Originally Posted by lizardprincesa FYI, rbella, I spent the rest of the yesterday in a state of paranoia. I heard & saw Creatures (way teenier than your houseguest) at every turn. I cleaned in an obsessive way. I don't generally clean obsessively. My son didn't know what was up! He was laughing! (I suppose I ought to thank you, rbella ::jumps & turns frightened eyes sideways:: My house hasn't been this clean in quite awhile.)

Oh no!! I'm so sorry!! But, one good thing has come out of this! Your house is so spotless that nary a rodent nor insect shall dare to cross your threshold.

Wait, what does that say about my house????

 

[blindpassion]

hehehe this thread is sooo amusing! it has brought me many giggles.

 

[fingie]

Once I started reading this thread I totally had to follow along until you found out what it was. Now that I know it was a gecko, it actually makes me nostalgic since I had a pet leopard gecko when I was about 12 or so. As far as cockroaches and whatnot though, I'm with you 100%. I cannot deal with bugs or pretty much anything with more than 4 legs.

 

[MACATTAK]

Rbella have you caught the creepy crawly yet?

 

[rbella]

This is so odd, I was just talking to nickswifey about this.

No, that little son of a bitch is still here. Mr. Rbella swears that he has left and gone to torture others, but I don't believe it. I can feel it looking at me, waiting to crawl on me and lick my eyeballs.

I haven't actually seen it since it crawled across the bathroom (directly in front of my useless cat, FiFi) and into my friggin' closet.

But on another note, I was showing houses to a couple on Saturday and we walked into a bathroom with a bathtub full of DEAD, BIG-ASS COCKROACHES. I almost crapped my pants. I did not keep my composure, unfortunately. I ran out of there, knocking the husband and wife out of my way screaming "Oh my God, it so gross! It's soooo groooosssss!". I have a sneaking suspicion they are not going to purchase that home. I also have a sneaking suspicion that I might have lost their business. Most likely because I scared the piss out of them and practically injured them on a simple home tour.

Oh well. Whaddya gonna do?

 

[MACATTAK]

Quote:

But on another note, I was showing houses to a couple on Saturday and we walked into a bathroom with a bathtub full of DEAD, BIG-ASS COCKROACHES. I almost crapped my pants. I did not keep my composure, unfortunately. I ran out of there, knocking the husband and wife out of my way screaming "Oh my God, it so gross! It's soooo groooosssss!". I have a sneaking suspicion they are not going to purchase that home. I also have a sneaking suspicion that I might have lost their business. Most likely because I scared the piss out of them and practically injured them on a simple home tour.

That is so sick! I would have done the same thing!!!!!!