ouhh... gross stories. not as bad as the previous poo stories, but when i was 18 i worked on weekends at a mcdonalds as a cleaner in the public area (tables, parking lot, etc.) and of course had to check and clean the bathrooms regularly. that one saturday i arrived, made my first round, went to the ladies bathroom and one of it was sprinkled with poo. interestingly not the toilet seat itself or the floor around it, but there were dozens of small sprinkles up to armheight on the backwall. that were dried already. i dont know what happened, but obviously the person had at least had the courtesy to wipe the toilet seat clean.
still, how does poo sprinkle up half a meter over the toilet seat?
now im working at lush parttime to pay for life at university and there was once this older customer, who grossed us out pretty often until we finally kicked him out for good. he usually would come up to one of the pretty sales assistants and bother them with boring stories, ask them questions about products just to show how uninterested he was in the answers, blah. an annoying customer in short. once, he bought a rabbit-shaped soap we had over easter. five minutes later he came in and showed us, that he had bitten of a bit and wanted to let us know, it tasted good. (what the f*ck? its soap!!!
and then once i had the joy of meeting him, didnt know him before and nobody had the time to warn me. so he pulls off the normal "whats this and this? this doesnt smell good, blahblah" route, and i continue showing him different products trying to get an idea what the heck he wants... then suddenly, while holding up to him a soap to sniff he grabs my hand turns it halfway around and kisses it. i just stood there dumbfounded, asking him what that was and he replied he thought i wanted that. i kept halfway calm, told him that i didnt and that i expect an apology, he said "sorry" and then left. i went to the office to scrub my hands for what seemed like an eternity. next time he was entering our store, our manager banned him.
oh, and recently one of my colleagues had a customer who started a new insider. we have these jelly-soaps, that wiggle, and we have two big ones out on display for the customer to play with them (and for tiny childish puberty-girls to stick their fingers in them and ruin them. no, the holes dont look nice, missy.) so this guy stands in front of them, touches and stares interested and my colleague walks over, asking him, if she could offer him any advise or assistance. he turns to her and seriously states: "if id buy one of these... id never need a woman again, right?" ... my colleague kept her cool, looked him straight in the eye and replied: "ok. this is how this will go from here: i will go away for a sec, you will forget what you just said, i will forget what you just said, and then ill come back and we start anew." walked away a meter, turned around, came back and asked him again if she could be of any assistance.
and then there was the boy in christmastime looking for a gift for his girlfriend who intently stared in the decollete of my colleague while she tried to advise him until he stopped her and asked, if she new where he could buy lingerie.
those are the highlights i remember. other than that we have the occasional customer interested in vagina soap, soap that wont pull your pubes (old granny wanted that), whips for the hot asses of his wife, ... and of course the regular bitemarks in some of the products/testers.
oh the joy of working in retail...
