What the hell is wrong with me??

[AdlersMommy22]

okay guys... here it is. Im dating a new guy (tish and jechadnt know LOL) and I havent had sex since..... i got pregnant with my son. So literally 17 months ago. I really really like this guy and if we do happen to have sex eventually.. Im friggin scared as hell because I do NOT cum from sex... and its actually something that was annoying me with my sons father- then when i got pregnant I obviously had a lot more to worry about than cumming durring sex.. so i forgot about it. Now that Im dating again, Im scared im going to hate the sex. I mean I enjoy it to an extent....... but then im lk- wtf?

I can totally get off on my own. NO PROBLEMS.... I dont know if i just DONT have a g-spot or what? And how to express my feelings towards this new guy if it happens (or whatever guy i end up actually having sex with when i DO have sex again) Im turning to you girls because I seriously dont trust anyone else to talk about this with....

help

 

[ShugAvery2001]

uhhh i think you answered your own question...

you can masturbate during sex you know..

give the guys a break lol

 

[AdlersMommy22]

yeah I know... but I really want to actually cum durring sex....

I dont want to have to masturbate every single time- and Im afraid if I do that will make him feel like he's not doing something right.

 

[Lauren1981]

well, i can't cum from sex alone...... there has to be some kind of stimulation elsewhere (but still in that region). i've come close but on regular, no.

i had that where i hadn't had sex in so long that i felt like i forgot how to do it. lol! but i think if you're comfortable with him then that will ease a lot of that nervousness.

you'll be okay

i feel like i'm cheering you on towards having good sex like you're getting ready to take one for the team or something. lol!!!

 

[ShugAvery2001]

Quote:

Originally Posted by AdlersMommy22 yeah I know... but I really want to actually cum durring sex.... I dont want to have to masturbate every single time- and Im afraid if I do that will make him feel like he's not doing something right.

not all guys can work it like that. And most "good" guys like "good" in character, can't screw worth shit. So you have to take responsibility for your own orgasm. If he see's you're getting off then he'll be good. It's situations like these that porn and sex toys were made for. I say go for it, cause if you don't you'll be much more likely to just not want sex at all and that will frustrate him even more..

just my opinion... but .. I think I've experienced enough in that department to give some decent advice on it...

now go grasshopper and enjoy your sex life

 

[AdlersMommy22]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lauren1981 well, i can't cum from sex alone...... there has to be some kind of stimulation elsewhere (but still in that region). i've come close but on regular, no. i had that where i hadn't had sex in so long that i felt like i forgot how to do it. lol! but i think if you're comfortable with him then that will ease a lot of that nervousness. you'll be okay i feel like i'm cheering you on towards having good sex like you're getting ready to take one for the team or something. lol!!!

haha yes i need all he cheering on i can get. Personally... and this is me personally.. I enjoy it if a guy is a little on the large side- and this guy def is... we've fooled around and stuff and....yeah. wow. lol. so im kinda anxious to just ... DO it and see what happens... maybe its been so long that ive gone w/o having sex that my body will be like "wtf?" and ill just orgasm. But I doubt it

i dont know if its like... my posistioning.. or the way he's actually... thrusting? Or what? I dunno

All I know is I want to cum...damnit!

 

[sharkbytes]

I know it sounds weird, but don't be embarrassed because SO many women have trouble coming during sex. I find that the more stimulation I get beforehand, the easier it is for me. So for example, if I receive oral sex just prior to intercourse the chances are much higher. Your positioning has a lot to do with it as well--if you just aren't stimulated with the position you're used to, try to change it up a little. A close friend of mine can only come during sex when she's on top, but I'm more comfortable with one leg over a man's shoulder. Since you have no problem when you're by yourself, you know what sort of stimulation works for you--try to incorporate that~

It can be a little nervewracking when you're with a new partner and trying to figure out his body and moves while at the same time doing what works for you, but you can do it! Good luck with it, you deserve to feel good too

 

[Shenanigans]

I was with my ex for almost 7 years and I NEVER had an orgasm unless I did it myself, but I still enjoyed the sex - it felt good and I didn't expect more than what it was.

The guy I'm with now can make me orgasm a few different ways... the difference is we talk about it openly, he listens to what I tell him, and he is willing to put in the work (it takes a while) to make me happy. Plus we invested in some vibrating accessories for "quickies", lol.

 

[xxManBeaterxx]

For me the more turned on i get from foreplay and making out the easier it is to orgasm, also stimulation down there beforehand helps as well.

Sorry if this part is too much info but..

I think there are 2 types of orgasm the clit and g-spot... But the clitoris has the most sensation compared to the g-spot so you arent missing much... You can still masturbate your clitoris region when hes doing his thing, that way you enjoy it just as much as he does.

 

[TISH1124]

Maybe

Just j/k ...You just have to find the position that works....Took me a long time (YEARS) But now my dh knows and that is the spot we go to when I am ready to just get there already...Thank Goodness

 

[Simply Elegant]

Both types of ways have the same feeling. Some people think they don't have one but it feels sort of hard and spongey and it's kind of small but definitely something you should notice.

Doing kegels while you're having sex helps too.

 

[Korms]

Try not to think about it too much when you're doing the sex because it'll make you feel pressured to orgasm and then you definitely won't have one. Just relax and have fun, if it happens then that's great but if not have some more fun trying to teach this guy how to bring you to orgasm.

I never came with my first 2 boyfriends and I thought that it was my fault and I was doing something wrong, or I was physically unable to have an orgasm during sex but when I met my current boyfriend and started having orgasms I realised it wasn't me, my old boyfriends were just crap!

Don't forget to communicate with this new fellow what you like and don't like, guys aren't mind readers and they can't be expected to know how to turn on every single woman because everyone is different.

And if you only orgasm from masturbating and clitoral stimulation, have the sex with you on top and get him to massage your clitoris with his thumb or fingers. At least then he will feel a part of the orgasm.

Hope that helps a little.

 

[AdlersMommy22]

Korms I never thought about having him help me out that way... thats a good idea

Im nervous to bring it up to this guy... I dont want him to get freaked before we even start lol.

So clitoral and gspot orgasms feel the same? I was scared I was missing some kinda friggin amazing orgasm by not being able to cum any other way....

 

[Korms]

Quote:

Originally Posted by AdlersMommy22 Im nervous to bring it up to this guy... I dont want him to get freaked before we even start lol.

I wouldn't bring it up before you guys have actually had sex, if he knows you struggle to have an orgasm it'll put a heap of pressure on him! Things always go better when allowed to happen naturally, with no pressure to perform.

 

[TISH1124]

^^^ and it is a two person sport in relationships...Just relax and have fun with it....

 

[CantAffordMAC]

Girl I have the same exact problem. Ive never come during sex..it was always afterwards when my ex would use my vibrator on me, etc. I get frustrated sometimes, but Ive learned to deal with it lol

Whenever Im with a guy, they usually ask if I came. I tell them no. And I tell them that its not going to happen. Then they ask me to elaborate, and I tell them that I dont cum from sex. And they feel bad for me lol. But mostly I must have sex with assholes, because its never a big deal...to me or them? I enjoy the sex for what it is, I love the feeling, its not always about an orgasm for me. of course orgasms are great but they are also extremely.....intimate, and I dunno.....I just dont care if I orgasm or not. I know I can make myself orgasm later if necessary lol

But I think my reason is cuz I always think Im gonna pee on the guy LOL. I swear, I think that everytime. Even if I "go" before sex, okay well if the sex is lasting like 30+ min, then what if my bladder fills up again and I have to go again? I dunno!

Im silly. I think focusing so much on trying to orgasm is a sure way NOT to. I literally think itll just happen when its supposed to...wen im completely relaxed?

 

[AdlersMommy22]

well... i had sex with him tonight.

And the condom broke

fucking figures. First guy i have sex with in 17 damn months and the condom breaks.

Im going to go to bed because he's calling around at a few places about the morning after pill before work tomorrow and is going to call me @ 7:30.. he doesnt want me to "go through this alone." Which is nice... after it happened he just sat up and pulled close to him and rubbed my back and let me cry... im so damn freaked out and so is he.... I doubt if I even sleep tonight..

 

[TISH1124]

^^Ok I understand the condoms for prevention of STD's but you might want to be on something for pregnancy prevention too....

Girl I feel so bad for you...If it wasn't for bad luck you would not have any luck at all.... Bless your sweet heart!! I hope it all comes out negative in this case...

 

[AdlersMommy22]

Well I think I got about 45 minutes total of sleep.... Brent hasnt even called and it's 8:17.. I know he has to be @ work at the newstation @ 9 so... who knows. Maybe I will be doing this alone.

Story of my life.



Okay he called- he told me he didnt want to pressure me into anything but that i could go get the morning after pill and he'd help me pay for it....

Im just going to get it and call and tell him and then pry not talk to him anymore. I feel so dumb.... I just want to get under the covers and cry my eyes out.

 

[AdlersMommy22]

I just went to planned parenthood and took plan b...ive never taken it before so im kinda nevous
..

brent texted me and told me thinks we need to slow things down but he still likes me and doesnt want to stop talking to me.

yeah right.