all you are to me is a p*ssy...

[Honey B. Fly]

my boyfriend tells me sometimes (hes always drunk at this time btw

) that all i am to him is a p*ssy, and that he ''doesnt think this allll the time but sometimes he does''. ''all girls do is put on makeup n do their hair to look pretty so men will look at them and want to fck them, u wear lipstick/gloss so ill picture ur lips s*cking my d*ck''...

so anyways hes an asshole 4 saying it like that but honestly half the time i get all dressed up it IS because i want him to look at me and think 'damn shes sexy and i want her so much right now' then there are times when i do it 4 MYSELF and i dont even wanna be looked at. im just girly and i like to dress up + wear makeup, do my hair ,nails, and ect...

im just depressed over the thought of what he says though becuase in a way its kinda true. its a very blunt way to say it but its true. i just cant get him 2 understand i look this way because its who I am, im not playing dress-up 4 him or any other man. yea i do wanna excite him, hes my freaking bf for goodness sakes, but he says it like im some freaking whore bag.

 

[user79]

Wow, sorry but your boyfriend sounds like a bit of a jerk! Borderline abusive comments...

 

[frocher]

....

 

[mistella]

Ummm.. if anyone ever said that to me, let alone by boyfriend, they would be kicked out the door. i agree with the girls above.. do not let him talk to you like that.

 

[chameleonmary]

I do not mean to sound blunt, but does he even consider you his girlfriend? How long have you been together? A close friend of mine was in a similar situation to you... it actually took him to say to her "you are nothing but a f**k to me" for her to realise that while she took him to be her boyfreind, he did not consider her a girlfriend.

Also, do not look at the fact that he is drunk when he says these things... we do stupid things when we are drunk, but we do these things occasionally, and not repeatedly. You can still be drunk and mean.

Don't ever let a man make you question your own motives for doing things. He doesn't twist your arm to dress nicely and wear makeup, does he? You do so willingly to make yourself appealling to him and he should appreciate this. There are so many wonderful men out there who only wish their women could take more pride in their appearance, and here is one who doesn't, in fact he makes you feel bad about it!

It may only be an occasional jibe here and there, but this can spiral out of control. Today he may be calling you just a p*ssy and accusing you of looking "slutty" but tomorrow he may be humiliating you in front of his or your friends or criticising every single thing you do.

Don't ever let anyone, especially a male, make you feel bad about yourself.

 

[lara]

What a vile pig.

 

[gigglegirl]

I wonder if he's saying that (referring to how you get dressed up or to me, just looking nice and put together b/c makeup is fun) because he's caught other guys looking at you and is worried? The comments are inexcusable and I wouldn't stand for them at all. You should not. Like stated above, its borderline abusive and I wouldn't want to continue being with someone who displays those kind of tendencies. Life's too short to not be able to be the person you want to be because of some guy.

And to me, doesn't matter if he's drunk or not, he's said it (and you mention sometimes, so thats more than once).

 

[landonsmother]

WOW, that is RUDE! if my BF ever said something like that to me, even if he's drunk i would kick his ass to the curb! my BF occasionally complains about the makeup but not in a way where he's irritated that i'm using makeup, he's irritated by the way i buy makeup.

if anything, you're BF should compliment you & tell you how beatiful you look, compliment your new hairstyles, etc. honestly, i don't think he's the right one for you if he puts you down in such a way. NO GIRL deserves any treatment like that. don't ever let him talk that way to you. i wish you all the best & i hope you can settle this situation.

 

[*Stargazer*]

I am a firm believer that people's true selves show when they are intoxicated. I'd punch someone in the mouth if they said that to me. It is disrespectfu but more than that, he's saying it to be emotionally cruel. I don't think it's much of a stretch to say that he'll start to become possessive and jealous soon.

 

[NubianHoneii]

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Stargazer* I am a firm believer that people's true selves show when they are intoxicated. I'd punch someone in the mouth if they said that to me. It is disrespectful but more than that, he's saying it to be emotionally cruel. I don't think it's much of a stretch to say that he'll start to become possessive and jealous soon.

Exactly.

Being drunk takes away that layer of pride and conscious of one's self. Meaning drunk people tell the truth (in their heads) whether it's something hurtful to the listener or not.

When my boyfriend gets a little "out there" with the liquor he never says anything to hurt me. I know he's drunk because he's always talking about how much he loves me and how sorry he is if he ever hurt me. Then he wants to make love all night long. There is no mask of shame for him to hide behind so I know that these are his true intentions.

To know that he is belittling you like that makes me want to meet him and set him straight. Although I can't do that you can. Abuse has many forms, and he sounds borderline abusive. You gotta sit down and say to yourself "is this relationship worth it?"

 

[SparklingWaves]

I feel your boyfriend's comments are hammering away at your self-esteem.

Furthermore, this male sounds like he has deep rooted issues that you cannot fix.

Keep in mind, you are a complex human being. The part of you that makes you female is just a small fraction of your totality.

Lastly, I would not honor his comments in any fashion, because he is not honoring you.

It's time to ask yourself, "Why am I allowing this person to talk to me and treat me in such a hateful manner?"

 

[CantAffordMAC]

Your boyfriend should not be talking to you like that. I mean, when me and my boyfriend argue we can say some hurtful things, and he has called me names but your boyfriend is taking it too far. My boyfriend sometimes thinks that I put makeup on and dress nice for other guys, but its not for them. Its for me and my boyfriend. (plus I hate going out looking like a bum when I'm going to be around other girls that are all made-up)

You really need to sit and talk with your boyfriend I guess.Tell him that his drinking and the things that he says while drunk is becoming a problem. Of course you want to look good for him and you want to excite him, but he's your boyfriend. Theres no problem with wearing makeup and wanting to look good for him. The problem is when he says mean shit like that to hurt you. Let him know that you're not taking it anymore and if he does it again, you're leaving. And if you say that, then you have to keep your word. Good luck!

 

[lainetm]

I'll second Stargazer! Drinking doesn't change anyone's personality, it just puts it on show. Besides, if drinking made me act like an @ss, I wouldn't do it--that's another major failure in judgement.

 

[aziajs]

I think his comments are true for some women and not for others. There are women who get dressed and made up for men. Then there are others that do it to impress/intimidate other women. Then there are women who do it for themselves.

 

[Evey]

Why in the hell are you putting up with that?! He has no excuse to say those things to you. Don't try to excuse his words by saying that you make yourself up so that he'll be interested in you. That does not justify what he's telling you. He's basically calling you what you think he's calling you, a whore and that you're nothing more to him than a peice of meat. Find someone who is going to respect you. Respect you 100% of the time, not just SOME of the time. A man that respects you will never speak to you that way. EVER.

 

[Macnarsandlove]

at least he was being honest but...
you should leave him asap. he is a real jerk and he will never change his opinion of u and your "role" in the relationship

 

[Araylan]

tell him to find another p*ssy. you don't need to put up with that. it's the little actions and comments here and there that will tear you apart.

 

[girlsaidwhat]

Regardless of how true what he says may or may not be...

His choice to put you down is just plain ugly.

The mark of a good relationship is that both partners work to support the other in the achieving of their best potentials. There is no growth and support intent in comments like the ones he chooses to make to you.

Belittling you is abusive. Drunk or not, it's abusive. That's not what people who really love you, LOVE you, do. It's up to /you/ to teach your chosen partner how you expect to be treated and thought of.

Please don't allow this to continue. You deserve better and more than he is giving.

 

[Krasevayadancer]

That is a terrible thing to say and I agree with previous posters- its downright abusive. It isn't cute and he has no right. If he feels that way than I am sorry to say he doesn't deserve you. Get rid of him.

 

[tsukiyomi]

EFF THAT! Dump his sorry ass. You should not tolerate such mean and hateful and misogynistic comments.