all you are to me is a p*ssy...

[Kiseki]

OK, first (and although many other members have said the same) I'm a man and no, we don't say things like that. Not sober, not drunk, not even as a joke.

You are clearly in an abusive relationship with someone who definitely has LOTS of issues and will only end up hurting you.

Sure, I can hop on the bandwagon and say "dump him" like all those other members, but what worries me is that you "apologize" and "understand" your behavior. Do yourself a favor and end the relationship, sure you might think that a four year relationship deserves more effort on your part, but you're a young woman and like Kuuipo mentioned, there are better men out there who will love a girlfriend like you. It's time to accept the fact that someone with that type of issues will only make you miserable in the end and you deserve more.

 

[Honey B. Fly]

thank u all for replying. i really needed to just sit and read things like this. it was about validation like someone said and hearing the truth makes me feel better 4 hating what he does to me.

getting it out here is kinda like my 1st step forward. ive never told any1 like a family member or a friend about any of it. they probaly wouldnt even believe it at first because he is so different sober.

im going to be honest that i am not ready to leave yet. but i am thinking diffrently then i was b4 i read this thread. i know its a start even if its small. so far he is 3 days sober, he has a long way to go and ive decided to stop being so lovey dovey i love u baby with him. i know hell realize how i fcking showered his ass with so much attention, i know it made him feel so good. i try to treat people the way i want to be treated and i tell him that all the time. i know that i need to stop always being there 4 him or hell never realize what he has.

our relationship is long story and it is hard to type out every lil detail to fully explain it so u all can understand. the worst thing he has ever done to me is say ''all u are is a p*ssy...". its disgusting i know, but right now its not enough 4 me to go.

i appreciate every single word from u guys though. trust me, i took it all in. my heart just doesnt want me to go right now.

 

[Evey]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Honey B. Fly thank u all for replying. i really needed to just sit and read things like this. it was about validation like someone said and hearing the truth makes me feel better 4 hating what he does to me. getting it out here is kinda like my 1st step forward. ive never told any1 like a family member or a friend about any of it. they probaly wouldnt even believe it at first because he is so different sober. im going to be honest that i am not ready to leave yet. but i am thinking diffrently then i was b4 i read this thread. i know its a start even if its small. so far he is 3 days sober, he has a long way to go and ive decided to stop being so lovey dovey i love u baby with him. i know hell realize how i fcking showered his ass with so much attention, i know it made him feel so good. i try to treat people the way i want to be treated and i tell him that all the time. i know that i need to stop always being there 4 him or hell never realize what he has. our relationship is long story and it is hard to type out every lil detail to fully explain it so u all can understand. the worst thing he has ever done to me is say ''all u are is a p*ssy...". its disgusting i know, but right now its not enough 4 me to go. i appreciate every single word from u guys though. trust me, i took it all in. my heart just doesnt want me to go right now.

I'm right there with you honey. I know it seems hard for you to just walk away especially when you feel the way you do about him. I was in the exact same situation. This guy drank all the time and said f'ked up shit to me ALL the time. Then he would act like nothing happened and like I was just supposed to forgive him and forget it ever happened. He was very manipulative and knew how to get things from me without much effort. I think your boyfriend is the same way. He knows what type of person you are and he's going to use that to his advantage because he knows that no matter what he says or does to you, you're going to be there. Eventually though, you're going to realize that this is not what you want and you'll have the strength to walk away. Like I told my ex, one day you're going to push me too far and I'm not going to leave. And that's exactly what happened. Hopefully you'll have the stregnth to leave sooner than later. Just know that his behavior is not OK and it's not by any means "normal". It's never ok for a man to treat a woman like that. A man that cares and loves you won't treat you that way or say demeaning and degrading things to you. My dad always told me that and he was right. My husband has never said or done anything degrading to me...and he won't because he was brought up better than that. Just know that no matter how you feel about this guy, there's someone out there 100 times better.

 

[SparklingWaves]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Honey B. Fly thank u all for replying. i really needed to just sit and read things like this. it was about validation like someone said and hearing the truth makes me feel better 4 hating what he does to me. getting it out here is kinda like my 1st step forward. ive never told any1 like a family member or a friend about any of it. they probaly wouldnt even believe it at first because he is so different sober. im going to be honest that i am not ready to leave yet. but i am thinking diffrently then i was b4 i read this thread. i know its a start even if its small. so far he is 3 days sober, he has a long way to go and ive decided to stop being so lovey dovey i love u baby with him. i know hell realize how i fcking showered his ass with so much attention, i know it made him feel so good. i try to treat people the way i want to be treated and i tell him that all the time. i know that i need to stop always being there 4 him or hell never realize what he has. our relationship is long story and it is hard to type out every lil detail to fully explain it so u all can understand. the worst thing he has ever done to me is say ''all u are is a p*ssy...". its disgusting i know, but right now its not enough 4 me to go. i appreciate every single word from u guys though. trust me, i took it all in. my heart just doesnt want me to go right now.

A part of you will never forget those words and apart of you wants what you had before all this happened. He changed the relationship forever when he stated what he did. Things like that don't ever really leave your mind. No matter what things you will tell yourself about him.

In truth, we never know people in relationships. We go through a journey of discovering new things about them and ourselves all the time. Relationships don't ever stay the same.

I could share my experience, but I don't think it will help. It has to come from you. Inside of you - There will be a voice that says - "No". I feel it has already spoken, because you stood up and wrote this post. As time goes on, that voice will get louder.

It's up to you when you will listen to it and believe in yourself that you can be all to yourself without this person. After all, there was a total Honey B Fly before you met him.

And I can't help, but think if the roles were reversed here how long would this last with him. Every time you got drunk, you told him all he was a useless tiny ugly **** to you and the only reason he got cleaned up was to attract other women to go with his sorry ugly useless tiny ****. The next day, "Oh baby, I love you and I didn't know what I was saying. You understand. I was just drunk."

Would he sit there and take that and think the relationship was so great otherwise? Would he just be waiting for those days that you were sober?

Would he do this for you?

 

[kristina ftw!]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Honey B. Fly do u guys think a man like him deserves a second chance, like should i even be wanting to help him change? we did have a long talk yesterday and all i really got out of him was that its not me and he drinks purely from stress. and we are both stressed right now about money and ect. typical stess, i dont drink mine away though and i do not take it out on him. i want us to work through it together. he always says not to listen to him when hes drunk and hes like so f*cking nice the next morning, it is so confusing. i honestly thought all men say things like that every once in awhile? i swear every man i hear talking around here is like that. my father was like this also.

Oh honey, NO. I have never been spoken to like that, ever, and my boyfriend of three years has never ever said anything like that to me. You should NOT have to put up with that, and not all men are like that! In fact, most aren't.

 

[Beauty Mark]

Now that I thought about it some more, the guy I'm fooling around with (he's not even my boyfriend, just FWB type thing) treats me wonderfully and would never say anything like that to me, even though we aren't dating and all we basically are doing is having sex.

 

[susannef]

Quote:

''all girls do is put on makeup n do their hair to look pretty so men will look at them and want to fck them, u wear lipstick/gloss so ill picture ur lips s*cking my d*ck''...

Quote:

becuase in a way its kinda true

You lost me there.