Anyone else recently broken up?

[Kayteuk]

I just ended it with my bf today after weeks of torture. Anyone else in the same boat...Support group here.

Haven't stopped crying yet. But i figure there's someone out on Specktra probably ending a long marriage or something similar, so lets help each other out.

Okay Ill start.
My ex was a asshole who picked faults in all my modeling shots to the point where I couldn't improve.

Anyone else?

 

[MzzRach]

Oh Kayte - I am not going through a breakup, but wanted to offer *hugs*. I know how that feels and it is horrid.

Anyone who is looking at photos of you and finding things "wrong" is a twat, I'm sorry. Good riddance.

Happy to be a shoulder to cry on at any time.

XOXO

 

[Lizzie]

I just wanted to send you love and hugs, sweetie! xox

 

[Kayteuk]

Cheers huns

There must be a lurker looking for support somewhere also. I think its time we all got rid of ex's feeling and la de dah (IM talking crapppp!) on this topic...
Yeah...

I need some tea...

 

[florabundance]

Hey hon, i wont tell u not to be down cos it's probably the healthiest choice for u right now. I will say that (which u already now cos u replied to my post) my boyfriend of 2 yrs, the first guy i've ever loved (my first everything actually) decided not only should we end our relationship (he was leaving for uni) but any communication between us at all. I think about him all the time - sometimes good stuff, sometimes bad.....but mainly i'm just trying to fix my broken heart. So i feel your pain and, well, fuck them both right now.

 

[Kayteuk]

Awww no Florabundance :-( I remembered. I feel so bad for you, sharing everything together must of been nice, but how mean of him to end it like that...Well lots of MAC should help you move on

 

[florabundance]

thanks hon but ive just come to realise that shit happens.
and while i do love make up, it doesnt mend a broken heart

lol
is they guy you're referring to the one u met in America??? how long were u guys together.

 

[Kayteuk]

We were together 5 months ish, but pretty serious, he was such a nice guy until our little two...Became our little three when this ***** stuck her head in.

After my last failed abusive relationship this was kinda my last attempt with love. And this other girl (One of his friends) basicially tore us apart.

Ive kinda packed everything up right now, I just need a time out.

 

[TISH1124]

Kayte, I know this doesn't help but....He probably was not the right man for you anyway...When your Mr. Perfect comes along....Nothing or No one will be able to seperate the two of you. I know your heart hurts...but it will heal and make you a stronger, better you for the right man. The man that will melt your heart will not be the perfect man...But he will be the perfect man for you and you will be the perfect woman for him.
As my Mom always says...It hurts like hell, But this two shall pass. Just give it time.

Big Hugzzz for you

It's obviously his loss!!

 

[Kayteuk]

Yeah its his loss. The stoopid policeman....I think im in the angry stage?

 

[kittykit]

*hugs*

There's always reasons why a bf becomes an ex! Cheer up, hun! He's not the one. You definitely deserve someone better

 

[nunu]

Hi Kayte,

The worst thing in a relationship is having someone pick at you. It's good that you 2 have broken up because you don't need someone like that in your life putting you down.

Quote:

Originally Posted by florabundance Hey hon, i wont tell u not to be down cos it's probably the healthiest choice for u right now. I will say that (which u already now cos u replied to my post) my boyfriend of 2 yrs, the first guy i've ever loved (my first everything actually) decided not only should we end our relationship (he was leaving for uni) but any communication between us at all. I think about him all the time - sometimes good stuff, sometimes bad.....but mainly i'm just trying to fix my broken heart. So i feel your pain and, well, fuck them both right now.

to both of you.

 

[tropical_smiles]

Recently my bf broke up with me. And it's been a long drawn out process. It's hitting 3 weeks now that we've been talking to each other and I've been not wanting to let it go. On sunday, he hit me really hard in the face...my mother had past away almost a year ago (it'll be a year in november ) and my father has been someone I've disowned because of the way he treated my mother and the family. My bf knew how much it meant to me to have a family because I never really had one.(but at the same time I'm in no rush to get married because i'm career focused)..and on the weekend, he told me that he really wanted a father in law that he would be able to chill with and do things with because his own father is deceased and at the same time, it never sounded like he had the best of it.

Right now I'm scared shitless about being alone. I thought he was the guy for me ..i've been in shitty relationship and the way he use to treat me I thought i was unbelievably amazing. Only now that he broke up with me did I realize that I was blinded. I wanted to be wanted by someone so badly that i ignore wanting the guy to place me first. He put me at the bottom of the barrel.

Part of me can't understand why he keeps dragging our break up out.. he keeps telling me that maybe us taking time apart will make us grow stronger..but at the same time..he puts no effort into it..he wants his space..for the past 3 weeks, when we don't talk about our relationship we're fine.....right now our relationship makes no sense..and it's probably because we do things that we're use to each other with. After he broke it off with me..a week later he asked me to go watch Max Payne, now last Friday he took me out for dinner and on Sunday..i asked him to come over for a movie. Unfortunately everything is good and than we start talking about us and it's just constant battle.

He claims that I'm drama...but what he's referring to is that I'm dealing with my mom's death still, I have issues with my father but after I stopped having any contact with him my life feels lik eit's for the better...he claims that me being unhappy with my job makes him unhappy about his...

I think about it now...and I think on thursday (random day but he works out of town monday to thursday), when he comes home..i'm going to just tell him...that I can't deal with this break up..i've tried making it work but for him to say some of the things he say it hurts me. Considering he was with me when my mom past and he saw how my dad treats me..I thought he would understand why i am the way i am...but he can't handle it. ....i don't know..i'm just ranting now but that's what i'm going through.

 

[florabundance]

Quote:

Originally Posted by nunu to both of you.

thank u honey for that

Quote:

Originally Posted by tropical_smiles Right now I'm scared shitless about being alone. I thought he was the guy for me ..i've been in shitty relationship and the way he use to treat me I thought i was unbelievably amazing. Only now that he broke up with me did I realize that I was blinded. I wanted to be wanted by someone so badly that i ignore wanting the guy to place me first. He put me at the bottom of the barrel. Part of me can't understand why he keeps dragging our break up out..

Your post really really resonated with me and I just want you to know that you're worth more than this. My bf was never violent but he treated me exactly as you said, bottom of the barrel, but i just put up with it because I was in love and wanted to believe he was too. I hate being single right now too, but i believe it will make me stronger and in doing so, enable me to find someone more worthy of my time and love.

Now that he broke my heart I realise that he may have loved me, but never enough or with the same heart that I loved him. And a relationship like that, try as you might to make it work, it just never will.

The reason he keeps dragging the break up out IMO is because he knows he has you in the palm of his hand. Thats no reflection of you, or saying that you're weak because of it. He's taking your love for weakness and playing with your feelings.

I want a family aswell, but not like that, not with someone who is afraid to show me they love me...who treats me as a convenience.

I truly hope that you cut off ties with him and find a real man as opposed the this child who feels they can act any which way they want and take for granted you'll always be there waiting for him.

Good luck with everything x

 

[NutMeg]

Oh you guys! I just want to give you all a big hug. My last breakup was about two years ago, and man did it hurt. I remember that feeling where you just cannot wrap your head around the fact that it's over, that he isn't the person you thought he was, and it sucks. I don't know if you guys have had a breakup like that before, but I wanted to make sure you know that you will get through this. It hurts and it's confusing and you have no idea when you're going to feel normal again, but it will get better. I promise.

 

[blindpassion]

I feel for you ladies, I really do.

I've been through a lot of what you are describing.
I'm happy in a relationship now but it took many years for me to get to that place.
It gets easier, and happier, I promise.

 

[lyttleravyn]

Maybe it's that time of year? My serious boyfriend of 1 1/2 years just broke up with me out of the blue (I know there's usually no such thing, but we literally were texting before he went to work like "i love you" "miss you" blah blah, then I few hours later I go over and he breaks up with me and leaves). I know he's going through a lot right now (severe stomach and digestive issues) but he's been to his mother's physician twice and this nut prescribed him two anxiety meds?! And he's admitted to 'saying things without saying anything' like doing stupid little things on facebook/myspace. Sometimes we chat and its fine, but then it goes back to us and he gets pissed and literally says he can't talk about us right now because it makes him sick (like physically throwing up). So that stung a good amount. So now I just feel like I'm floundering. I actually just quit my job this morning (looong story on that) and it makes me feel a little better. Like I need to change a lot of things in my life, and it seems like why wait? I've been thinking about going to dog grooming school in Georgia, and I think I'm going to go next summer. Sometimes you just need to get away from everything, you know?

Good luck to all my fellow broken-hearted spectra girlies

*hugs*

 

[tropical_smiles]

Quote:

Originally Posted by florabundance Now that he broke my heart I realise that he may have loved me, but never enough or with the same heart that I loved him. And a relationship like that, try as you might to make it work, it just never will.

I definately hope he doesn't take me for granted...he was there for me when my mom past away and dealt with me through my dad problem. I think sometimes I feel bad that I outletted alot of my feelings to him when most people could outlet to their parents. So he took alot of my venting and being depressed ...i think that's why i cared so much for him because he was there for me to keep me happy. Now that he isn't there for me..that's why i'm even more sad...but than again...if he was mature enough..I think he should understand what I had gone through, instead of running away from it....

i don't know...i took the steps tonight to call a helpline to get some help and get some advice. I never talked much about my mom's death..I don't have any family here. All i really have is myself and I think im more terrified that without him. No one will know whether i exist or die or anything. That's why i was holding onto him so tightly. He was there for me during my rough..and i feel now that he's pushing me away and it really hurts because he needs to figure out what he wants in life...and i cna't do much about it.

 

[Kalico]

I dumped my loser ex about a month and a half ago (were together 2 and a half years, we were engaged), and have ignored all his attempts at contact since. He was abusive and an all around bad person. I've acquired a lot of clothing, make-up, shoes, even a laptop since the break-up. I've also decided I need to fix my brain probably through therapy before I get in another relationship, because I tend to have low standards, and turn down wonderful men for abusive ones.

You'll be okay! Keep your head up! Sounds like you're handling it pretty well.

 

[florabundance]

Quote:

Originally Posted by tropical_smiles I definately hope he doesn't take me for granted...he was there for me when my mom past away and dealt with me through my dad problem. I think sometimes I feel bad that I outletted alot of my feelings to him when most people could outlet to their parents. So he took alot of my venting and being depressed ...i think that's why i cared so much for him because he was there for me to keep me happy. Now that he isn't there for me..that's why i'm even more sad...but than again...if he was mature enough..I think he should understand what I had gone through, instead of running away from it.... i don't know...i took the steps tonight to call a helpline to get some help and get some advice. I never talked much about my mom's death..I don't have any family here. All i really have is myself and I think im more terrified that without him. No one will know whether i exist or die or anything. That's why i was holding onto him so tightly. He was there for me during my rough..and i feel now that he's pushing me away and it really hurts because he needs to figure out what he wants in life...and i cna't do much about it.

good for u on calling up the helpline, i truly hope it was useful. from ur post, you sound so torn as to whether you can handle being without him. obviously, i dont have answers better than anyone elses, but i would say - if you feel like he needs to get gone, then you're probably right. and while havin to deal with hard stuff all by yourself is hardly an attractive option, sometimes it's the best one you can take. at least that's what i learned in this past month.

it's amazing of him to have been there for you through your struggles but what good is that if he decides to flake out on you now?
if you did start a family with him, would u constantly be looking over ur shoulder making sure he'd be there unconditionally?

i hope ur feeling ok, pm me if u ever need to/want to.
xxxxx