Anyone else recently broken up?
- Thread starter Kayteuk
- Start date
user46
Well-known member
This thread is extremely helpful.
Yesterday I broke up with my boyfriend of almost 2 years.
I loved him so much and i'm pretty sure he loved me. This was my frist "real" boyfriend, and the way he treated me in the beginning was like heaven. Then as time dragged on ... I got treated less and less till finally it was no affection, no sex, no talks anymore. Just very basic stuff. I didn't know how to react. I didn't know it was change so drastically. Now he's saying that i think i'm too good for him and I always want him to be up my ass. Which is totally untrue. He lives in his moms house on the futon, he's doing poorly in college, he has a job that only gives him 8 hours a week, so he's basically home ALL day. I've been taught to grow up and aspire to be SOMETHING. It doesn't have to be the person making 6 figures, but as long as you worked for what you want and what you have, that's what matters. I've always been the type of person that wanted to go to college and do good and be something. Come to find out, my boyfriend .. well ex ... said yesterday that "He's not like me, his goal in life is to be happy". I'm like ok ... working toward a goal won't make you happy? Having a child and being able to provide isn't gonna make you happy? Having your own shit and getting off your moms couch won't make you happy?
I guess I thought I could try to change him, which is a big no no. When you and your partner don't share the same life goals, it is utterly impossible. I don't want him to be like me. I told him that. I told him I don't care if his goal in life is to become a plumber ... i'd still love him the same if he worked at it. He tells me false promises and then never lives up to them. And then when I confront him about it, it's "me non stop nagging".
I'm so fed up and I knew he was too. He always leaves everything in my hands. Maybe so he doesn't have to do the dirty work. So I just did it. It's so hard to try to not keep contact. It's only been a day, but i've already sent texts as to why. He never wants to talk about our relationship. He wants me to just accept things about him. And thats fine, I shouldnt want him to change completely... but stuff like where you're going in life I just can't accept. I can't accept laziness on his part ... not for someone that I love and I know can do better .. and who wants to share my life.
I didn't sleep at all last night. We always break up and make up ... but I don't know if this time will be that time. I don't think he loves me anymore. He was my first love and I just don't know how to react. I don't know how to cut off all ties. I have no friends, so theres no way for me to get my mind off things. I just feel like i've sacrificed so much, and this is what it boils down to.
Long story short. It hurts.
Yesterday I broke up with my boyfriend of almost 2 years.
I loved him so much and i'm pretty sure he loved me. This was my frist "real" boyfriend, and the way he treated me in the beginning was like heaven. Then as time dragged on ... I got treated less and less till finally it was no affection, no sex, no talks anymore. Just very basic stuff. I didn't know how to react. I didn't know it was change so drastically. Now he's saying that i think i'm too good for him and I always want him to be up my ass. Which is totally untrue. He lives in his moms house on the futon, he's doing poorly in college, he has a job that only gives him 8 hours a week, so he's basically home ALL day. I've been taught to grow up and aspire to be SOMETHING. It doesn't have to be the person making 6 figures, but as long as you worked for what you want and what you have, that's what matters. I've always been the type of person that wanted to go to college and do good and be something. Come to find out, my boyfriend .. well ex ... said yesterday that "He's not like me, his goal in life is to be happy". I'm like ok ... working toward a goal won't make you happy? Having a child and being able to provide isn't gonna make you happy? Having your own shit and getting off your moms couch won't make you happy?
I guess I thought I could try to change him, which is a big no no. When you and your partner don't share the same life goals, it is utterly impossible. I don't want him to be like me. I told him that. I told him I don't care if his goal in life is to become a plumber ... i'd still love him the same if he worked at it. He tells me false promises and then never lives up to them. And then when I confront him about it, it's "me non stop nagging".
I'm so fed up and I knew he was too. He always leaves everything in my hands. Maybe so he doesn't have to do the dirty work. So I just did it. It's so hard to try to not keep contact. It's only been a day, but i've already sent texts as to why. He never wants to talk about our relationship. He wants me to just accept things about him. And thats fine, I shouldnt want him to change completely... but stuff like where you're going in life I just can't accept. I can't accept laziness on his part ... not for someone that I love and I know can do better .. and who wants to share my life.
I didn't sleep at all last night. We always break up and make up ... but I don't know if this time will be that time. I don't think he loves me anymore. He was my first love and I just don't know how to react. I don't know how to cut off all ties. I have no friends, so theres no way for me to get my mind off things. I just feel like i've sacrificed so much, and this is what it boils down to.
Long story short. It hurts.
TISH1124
Well-known member
Quote:
Big Hugs!!
But it sounds like you are on a totally different level than he is mentally...It's good to be happy...But eating and having a roof over your head is part of overall happiness (Mom's house doesn't count if you are a man not in school or aspiring to at least have some sort of career). Maybe this will make him grow up....
My motto is....I don't need a man to help me do bad...I can master that on my own..I need a man to help me do better.
Good Luck and I hope you feel better....Love hurts sometimes...ok alot of times...even when you are happily married as I am...
Originally Posted by MACpro__*
Now he's saying that i think i'm too good for him and I always want him to be up my ass. Which is totally untrue. He lives in his moms house on the futon, he's doing poorly in college, he has a job that only gives him 8 hours a week, so he's basically home ALL day. I've been taught to grow up and aspire to be SOMETHING. It doesn't have to be the person making 6 figures, but as long as you worked for what you want and what you have, that's what matters. I've always been the type of person that wanted to go to college and do good and be something. Come to find out, my boyfriend .. well ex ... said yesterday that "He's not like me, his goal in life is to be happy". I'm like ok ... working toward a goal won't make you happy? Having a child and being able to provide isn't gonna make you happy? Having your own shit and getting off your moms couch won't make you happy? |
Big Hugs!!
But it sounds like you are on a totally different level than he is mentally...It's good to be happy...But eating and having a roof over your head is part of overall happiness (Mom's house doesn't count if you are a man not in school or aspiring to at least have some sort of career). Maybe this will make him grow up....
My motto is....I don't need a man to help me do bad...I can master that on my own..I need a man to help me do better.
Good Luck and I hope you feel better....Love hurts sometimes...ok alot of times...even when you are happily married as I am...
FiestyFemme
Well-known member
Quote:
This is very, very true.
It wasn't the same situation with my ex... we had the same life goals, just not the same ideas about how to go about getting there. That doesn't really work either.
Honestly, I know how bad it hurts, but you're much better off getting out now and not wasting any more time with this guy. If after 2 years it's got nothing but worse, it's not just going to magically get better. It sounds like your ex has a huge motivation problem, and so far not even you have been enough to change that.
Quote:
It will get better, I promise!
I know how hard it is... I just felt so awful when my first love broke up with me. I was literally depressed for several months, but it was like one day I just realized the clouds had lifted. It took awhile to get over things, a long time actually. We'd dated for 6 years though, and I just couldn't get over that overnight.
And it's funny because now I can't ever imagine going back to that, or why I even dealt with it that long anyway! He hasn't changed AT ALL, and while he was the one who broke up with me, I've been the one to come out the winner.
I hope you're feeling better soon. It will happen, sweetie!
Hang in there!
| Originally Posted by MACpro__*
I guess I thought I could try to change him, which is a big no no. When you and your partner don't share the same life goals, it is utterly impossible. |
This is very, very true.
It wasn't the same situation with my ex... we had the same life goals, just not the same ideas about how to go about getting there. That doesn't really work either.
Honestly, I know how bad it hurts, but you're much better off getting out now and not wasting any more time with this guy. If after 2 years it's got nothing but worse, it's not just going to magically get better. It sounds like your ex has a huge motivation problem, and so far not even you have been enough to change that.
Quote:
| Originally Posted by MACpro__* I just feel like i've sacrificed so much, and this is what it boils down to. |
It will get better, I promise!
I know how hard it is... I just felt so awful when my first love broke up with me. I was literally depressed for several months, but it was like one day I just realized the clouds had lifted. It took awhile to get over things, a long time actually. We'd dated for 6 years though, and I just couldn't get over that overnight.
And it's funny because now I can't ever imagine going back to that, or why I even dealt with it that long anyway! He hasn't changed AT ALL, and while he was the one who broke up with me, I've been the one to come out the winner.
I hope you're feeling better soon. It will happen, sweetie!
TangoMango
Well-known member
Quote:
Thanks, Kayteuk!
I can't lie, there are some nights when I cry, but I'm glad this happened because now I know what to avoid. He's still trying to contact me and texting me that he misses me and hope we can be together in the future. That won't be happening.
| Originally Posted by Kayteuk
What an ass! I would seriously just ignore him, your far far above his standard and if you see him, just walk on by with a big smile. Be thankfull that it didnt go on any further, he could of wrecked your life! Its nice to see a good strong girl with a smart head on her shoulders. Your a inspiration to me
|
Thanks, Kayteuk!
I can't lie, there are some nights when I cry, but I'm glad this happened because now I know what to avoid. He's still trying to contact me and texting me that he misses me and hope we can be together in the future. That won't be happening.
S.S.BlackOrchid
Well-known member
((HUGS))- not going through a breakup but I want to offer you support. Breakups are so painful, but you deserve so much better than to be with a guy like that and I'm glad you saw that.
FiestyFemme
Well-known member
Quote:
I didn't change my number after my first real breakup... not making that same mistake twice. So this time, changed my number.
The worst part is when people ask why I changed it, and it's gotten to the point now where I say just be glad I gave you my new number.
Some people are so damn nosy.
| Originally Posted by Kayteuk
*hugs tangomango* thats why phone companies allow you to change your phone number ;-) Stops ex's texting you all that rubbish! |
I didn't change my number after my first real breakup... not making that same mistake twice. So this time, changed my number.
The worst part is when people ask why I changed it, and it's gotten to the point now where I say just be glad I gave you my new number.
Some people are so damn nosy.
tropical_smiles
Well-known member
Quote:
ha ha that is so true!!! i loved that. I've gotten alot better now since my ex and i broke up. I'm happy for myself and seeing a therapist. Sometimes seeing a therapist isn't bad. I got a couple of strange looks from friends when i told them I was seeing one. But what i found was that when i spoke to my therapist, it was the real me coming out. It was all my feelings. My therapist doesn't know any of the people I talk about, and i didn' thave to worry about being judged.
I'm now happy that I'm sorting out my own life and I do realize that i am NOT compatible with my ex. We had different views. I'm no longer talking to him. Two weeks ago, I told him I couldn't deal with trying to be friends and I needed to cut him off completely and every since I accepted to let him go. I've been truly happy. I've been able to work on myself at the pace I want to do things. And even made connections with old friends again.
This thread really helped me out and I liked to thank you guys for all the strong words and support!!! *hugs*
| Originally Posted by FiestyFemme
I didn't change my number after my first real breakup... not making that same mistake twice. So this time, changed my number. The worst part is when people ask why I changed it, and it's gotten to the point now where I say just be glad I gave you my new number. Some people are so damn nosy.
|
ha ha that is so true!!! i loved that. I've gotten alot better now since my ex and i broke up. I'm happy for myself and seeing a therapist. Sometimes seeing a therapist isn't bad. I got a couple of strange looks from friends when i told them I was seeing one. But what i found was that when i spoke to my therapist, it was the real me coming out. It was all my feelings. My therapist doesn't know any of the people I talk about, and i didn' thave to worry about being judged.
I'm now happy that I'm sorting out my own life and I do realize that i am NOT compatible with my ex. We had different views. I'm no longer talking to him. Two weeks ago, I told him I couldn't deal with trying to be friends and I needed to cut him off completely and every since I accepted to let him go. I've been truly happy. I've been able to work on myself at the pace I want to do things. And even made connections with old friends again.
This thread really helped me out and I liked to thank you guys for all the strong words and support!!! *hugs*
jazza
Member
I dumped with my ex of almost four years back in August. Best decision I've ever made. Didn't realise how much a head-fuck the whole relationship was until I was out of it.
To be honest, although there were happy moments within the relationship, it had been a long time since there was any sort of stability or balance. It was always either great, or fucking shit (most of the time).
I actually got together with someone who is amazing just before I dumped my ex. I would have preferred things to have started properly, but meeting someone you click with so well is so rare. We fell in love; we are in love. It all happened after much "should we or shouldn't we" and a lot of angst on everyone's behalf. It was for the best though - my bf is absolutely everything I've wanted. I just found real love at a rather inappropriate time, but I'm glad I acted on it as I wouldn't want to have missed this for the world.
I do believe you always find love when you least expect it!!
Just wanted to add my story in here, not every break up leads to unhappiness.
To be honest, although there were happy moments within the relationship, it had been a long time since there was any sort of stability or balance. It was always either great, or fucking shit (most of the time).
I actually got together with someone who is amazing just before I dumped my ex. I would have preferred things to have started properly, but meeting someone you click with so well is so rare. We fell in love; we are in love. It all happened after much "should we or shouldn't we" and a lot of angst on everyone's behalf. It was for the best though - my bf is absolutely everything I've wanted. I just found real love at a rather inappropriate time, but I'm glad I acted on it as I wouldn't want to have missed this for the world.
I do believe you always find love when you least expect it!!
Just wanted to add my story in here, not every break up leads to unhappiness.
jamie89
Well-known member
I just broke up with my boyfriend of about two years, on and off. He was my first love. Unlike many of your exes, he was not an asshole at all. Not even close, actually. He is the most wonderful person I've ever met, and the best friend I've ever had. I am 19 years old, and he has been my only serious boyfriend. I am going to school 3000 miles away from him, and things are just too hard. I feel like I don't know myself and I'm not confident in myself, alone. I began feeling as though we were too dependent on one another to be happy. I felt responsible for his happiness, and I am so busy at school, I felt horrible that I wasn't able to talk to him all the time, or give him what he deserves. I think we both need time to work on ourselves, and I am in so much pain right now. I know it was the right thing to do, as I can't be in a relationship right now. I can't give myself to another because I feel like I can't be alone. I want to be comfortable with myself and be able to be alone. I feel too dependent. I care so much about him and he is in my heart and my thoughts. I pray that there is a place for us in the future. I think I need to be on my own for a while, maybe date around to make sure he really is the one. I'm just so afraid of losing him in my life forever.
Good luck to all of you.
Good luck to all of you.
tropical_smiles
Well-known member
Quote:
Jamie, I read your note. If you're bound to be together, you guys will always be crossing paths regardless of whether you may lose him for awhile while you both grow and learn about yourselves. Though if he really cares for you, he will forever be in your life.
| Originally Posted by jamie89
I just broke up with my boyfriend of about two years, on and off. He was my first love. Unlike many of your exes, he was not an asshole at all. Not even close, actually. He is the most wonderful person I've ever met, and the best friend I've ever had. I am 19 years old, and he has been my only serious boyfriend. I am going to school 3000 miles away from him, and things are just too hard. I feel like I don't know myself and I'm not confident in myself, alone. I began feeling as though we were too dependent on one another to be happy. I felt responsible for his happiness, and I am so busy at school, I felt horrible that I wasn't able to talk to him all the time, or give him what he deserves. I think we both need time to work on ourselves, and I am in so much pain right now. I know it was the right thing to do, as I can't be in a relationship right now. I can't give myself to another because I feel like I can't be alone. I want to be comfortable with myself and be able to be alone. I feel too dependent. I care so much about him and he is in my heart and my thoughts. I pray that there is a place for us in the future. I think I need to be on my own for a while, maybe date around to make sure he really is the one. I'm just so afraid of losing him in my life forever. Good luck to all of you. |
Jamie, I read your note. If you're bound to be together, you guys will always be crossing paths regardless of whether you may lose him for awhile while you both grow and learn about yourselves. Though if he really cares for you, he will forever be in your life.
FiestyFemme
Well-known member
Quote:
I just wanna say props to you for having the courage to do the right thing. I know it's hard, but you sound like you're strong enough to make it through. *hugs*
| Originally Posted by jamie89
I just broke up with my boyfriend of about two years, on and off. He was my first love. Unlike many of your exes, he was not an asshole at all. Not even close, actually. He is the most wonderful person I've ever met, and the best friend I've ever had. I am 19 years old, and he has been my only serious boyfriend. I am going to school 3000 miles away from him, and things are just too hard. I feel like I don't know myself and I'm not confident in myself, alone. I began feeling as though we were too dependent on one another to be happy. I felt responsible for his happiness, and I am so busy at school, I felt horrible that I wasn't able to talk to him all the time, or give him what he deserves. I think we both need time to work on ourselves, and I am in so much pain right now. I know it was the right thing to do, as I can't be in a relationship right now. I can't give myself to another because I feel like I can't be alone. I want to be comfortable with myself and be able to be alone. I feel too dependent. I care so much about him and he is in my heart and my thoughts. I pray that there is a place for us in the future. I think I need to be on my own for a while, maybe date around to make sure he really is the one. I'm just so afraid of losing him in my life forever. Good luck to all of you. |
I just wanna say props to you for having the courage to do the right thing. I know it's hard, but you sound like you're strong enough to make it through. *hugs*
brokenxbeauty
Well-known member
Oh... thank God for this thread.
My boyfriend of a year and almost 8 months (would've been in a few days) just broke up with me for the second time this month, the first being at the beginning. The first time because he was unhappy, he had just been giving in to everything to make me happy, and in turn making himself happy. I wasn't intentionally trying to do that to him and so naturally I felt horrible. I was so heartbroken and lost because I felt like we were meant to be, and five days later his best friend called me telling me I needed to talk to him. My mom told me I shouldn't go over there and he came over here telling me he felt like he had made a mistake, and he wanted things to get better - we had talked a few days prior because I stupidly called him and told him how I felt we were soulmates but I knew a lot had to change to make this work but I was willing to do that - he said he wanted things to be like how I said.
For awhile things were okay, he had been drinking a lot and re-connecting with girls (ugh skanks, and an ex who he had been good friends with) while we weren't together. I wanted to give him space while still working on things, and it was sort of working until recently when he began hanging out with his ex - Tuesday. I know he doesn't have feelings for her and he says he didn't then, but him and I were friends then, and so he told me a lot about it and I guess I just can't help but rememeber that.
I wasn't upset about them being friends, but he told me that he didn't plan on hanging out with her, but if he did, he would have his best friend there. On Tuesday he hung out with her ALONE. Needless to say, I was pretty pissed, but I forgave him. It still bothered me, but I forgave him, because no big deal in the long run. Then on Thursday night he went to a party and got completely drunk, not something I'm super happy with, but I was okay with it until I found out that she had called him (he had called her earlier that day) and he invited her over. I'm sorry but when you're in a serious relationship I don't feel that you should be partying with your ex! They also hung out, ALONE, today. Which I was trying to be ok with because he'd been talking about how he wasn't sure if he wanted to be with me anymore and I was more worried about losing him.
I know that lately things haven't been okay. It went from me always wanting my way and him giving in to the complete opposite. I told him for it to work we'd have to meet in the middle and he said he didn't do that. He said that he "wasn't that type of guy" and he wasn't sure if he was in love with me anymore.
It just sucks because it hurts knowing that someone can just fall out of love with me when I didn't feel I did anything wrong.
Oh well, I feel like he's just afraid to grow up and he's just scared of the commitment. He told me I represent the future, a wife and family, and he's scared of that. I honestly feel he will regret it but I don't want to sit around and wait, and I don't want to just run back to him like I did before, because I feel like I'm worth more than that.
I'm just really upset and I don't really know who to talk to because I just keep crying. We have so many good memories together. He was my first love and the first guy I slept with.
I don't even know if this is all that I want to say, but if you read this, thank you.
My boyfriend of a year and almost 8 months (would've been in a few days) just broke up with me for the second time this month, the first being at the beginning. The first time because he was unhappy, he had just been giving in to everything to make me happy, and in turn making himself happy. I wasn't intentionally trying to do that to him and so naturally I felt horrible. I was so heartbroken and lost because I felt like we were meant to be, and five days later his best friend called me telling me I needed to talk to him. My mom told me I shouldn't go over there and he came over here telling me he felt like he had made a mistake, and he wanted things to get better - we had talked a few days prior because I stupidly called him and told him how I felt we were soulmates but I knew a lot had to change to make this work but I was willing to do that - he said he wanted things to be like how I said.
For awhile things were okay, he had been drinking a lot and re-connecting with girls (ugh skanks, and an ex who he had been good friends with) while we weren't together. I wanted to give him space while still working on things, and it was sort of working until recently when he began hanging out with his ex - Tuesday. I know he doesn't have feelings for her and he says he didn't then, but him and I were friends then, and so he told me a lot about it and I guess I just can't help but rememeber that.
I wasn't upset about them being friends, but he told me that he didn't plan on hanging out with her, but if he did, he would have his best friend there. On Tuesday he hung out with her ALONE. Needless to say, I was pretty pissed, but I forgave him. It still bothered me, but I forgave him, because no big deal in the long run. Then on Thursday night he went to a party and got completely drunk, not something I'm super happy with, but I was okay with it until I found out that she had called him (he had called her earlier that day) and he invited her over. I'm sorry but when you're in a serious relationship I don't feel that you should be partying with your ex! They also hung out, ALONE, today. Which I was trying to be ok with because he'd been talking about how he wasn't sure if he wanted to be with me anymore and I was more worried about losing him.
I know that lately things haven't been okay. It went from me always wanting my way and him giving in to the complete opposite. I told him for it to work we'd have to meet in the middle and he said he didn't do that. He said that he "wasn't that type of guy" and he wasn't sure if he was in love with me anymore.
It just sucks because it hurts knowing that someone can just fall out of love with me when I didn't feel I did anything wrong.
Oh well, I feel like he's just afraid to grow up and he's just scared of the commitment. He told me I represent the future, a wife and family, and he's scared of that. I honestly feel he will regret it but I don't want to sit around and wait, and I don't want to just run back to him like I did before, because I feel like I'm worth more than that.
I'm just really upset and I don't really know who to talk to because I just keep crying. We have so many good memories together. He was my first love and the first guy I slept with.
I don't even know if this is all that I want to say, but if you read this, thank you.
FiestyFemme
Well-known member
Quote:
Aw hugs
I'm sorry you're going through this. I went through the same thing with my first boyfriend. We'd dated for 6 years, and about the time we'd either have to take the next step (marriage) or breakup, he broke up with me. I was devastated... I really, really loved him. He came around a few months later wanting to get back together, but by that time, I'd been able to open my eyes and see that wasn't what I really wanted anymore. Telling him no was probably one of the harder things I've had to do, and it still took me another year to truly be over it. And honestly, it was literally THE best thing that's ever happened to me. It's the second hardest thing I've ever been through, but it's made me so much stronger and happier. I've grown so much. So whether you get back together or not, it's ok! You're going to be fine, I promise. This could be the best thing that's happened to you, no matter what else happens with him. I really hope you feel better soon.
| Originally Posted by brokenxbeauty
Oh well, I feel like he's just afraid to grow up and he's just scared of the commitment. He told me I represent the future, a wife and family, and he's scared of that. I honestly feel he will regret it but I don't want to sit around and wait, and I don't want to just run back to him like I did before, because I feel like I'm worth more than that. |
Aw hugs
I'm sorry you're going through this. I went through the same thing with my first boyfriend. We'd dated for 6 years, and about the time we'd either have to take the next step (marriage) or breakup, he broke up with me. I was devastated... I really, really loved him. He came around a few months later wanting to get back together, but by that time, I'd been able to open my eyes and see that wasn't what I really wanted anymore. Telling him no was probably one of the harder things I've had to do, and it still took me another year to truly be over it. And honestly, it was literally THE best thing that's ever happened to me. It's the second hardest thing I've ever been through, but it's made me so much stronger and happier. I've grown so much. So whether you get back together or not, it's ok! You're going to be fine, I promise. This could be the best thing that's happened to you, no matter what else happens with him. I really hope you feel better soon.
BloodMittens
Well-known member
~hugs~ Support for you!!!
It's been three months and I'm still trying to get over my ex. I love him so much still and it's driving me crazy @_@ It's hard when we both have all the same friends and we're trying to be friends at the same time. He says he loves me and all this crap but doesn't want to be with me.
CONFUSED MUCH!?!
Grrr...
It's been three months and I'm still trying to get over my ex. I love him so much still and it's driving me crazy @_@ It's hard when we both have all the same friends and we're trying to be friends at the same time. He says he loves me and all this crap but doesn't want to be with me.
CONFUSED MUCH!?!
Grrr...
FiestyFemme
Well-known member
Quote:
Just my two cents, but it's not like I'm an expert by any means...
For me, I could not be friends with my ex until I had completely gotten over him. It just hurt too badly to be around him. It always made me cry, and it was just unhealthy for me. One of the harder decisions I had to make was to cut him out of my life. He came over one day, and I just told him that I could not be friends with him at that point in my life, that he'd had his chance to move on and find something else, and that I deserved it too. We didn't talk for a few months, and then he contacted me. I thought then that I was ready to be friends, but I wasn't... so I had to ask him again not to contact me and to leave me alone. That was the only way I was ever going to get over him. I had to keep my distance, even though it wasn't easy. You might just need some time to yourself if you're going to get over him, especially since he's telling you conflicting things (as was my ex - he still loved me, but he wasn't sure we should be together, blah blah).
Anyway good luck! I know it's not easy.
| Originally Posted by BloodMittens
It's hard when we both have all the same friends and we're trying to be friends at the same time. |
Just my two cents, but it's not like I'm an expert by any means...
For me, I could not be friends with my ex until I had completely gotten over him. It just hurt too badly to be around him. It always made me cry, and it was just unhealthy for me. One of the harder decisions I had to make was to cut him out of my life. He came over one day, and I just told him that I could not be friends with him at that point in my life, that he'd had his chance to move on and find something else, and that I deserved it too. We didn't talk for a few months, and then he contacted me. I thought then that I was ready to be friends, but I wasn't... so I had to ask him again not to contact me and to leave me alone. That was the only way I was ever going to get over him. I had to keep my distance, even though it wasn't easy. You might just need some time to yourself if you're going to get over him, especially since he's telling you conflicting things (as was my ex - he still loved me, but he wasn't sure we should be together, blah blah).
Anyway good luck! I know it's not easy.
brokenxbeauty
Well-known member
Quote:
I agree, if you continue talking to him and being around him, those feelings won't have a chance to go away and it will just hurt more later. I'm sorry you're going through this.<3
And thank you so much for the reply to my post, FiestyFemme.
| Originally Posted by FiestyFemme
Just my two cents, but it's not like I'm an expert by any means... For me, I could not be friends with my ex until I had completely gotten over him. It just hurt too badly to be around him. It always made me cry, and it was just unhealthy for me. One of the harder decisions I had to make was to cut him out of my life. He came over one day, and I just told him that I could not be friends with him at that point in my life, that he'd had his chance to move on and find something else, and that I deserved it too. We didn't talk for a few months, and then he contacted me. I thought then that I was ready to be friends, but I wasn't... so I had to ask him again not to contact me and to leave me alone. That was the only way I was ever going to get over him. I had to keep my distance, even though it wasn't easy. You might just need some time to yourself if you're going to get over him, especially since he's telling you conflicting things (as was my ex - he still loved me, but he wasn't sure we should be together, blah blah). Anyway good luck! I know it's not easy. |
I agree, if you continue talking to him and being around him, those feelings won't have a chance to go away and it will just hurt more later. I'm sorry you're going through this.<3
And thank you so much for the reply to my post, FiestyFemme.
