Breastfeeding in public

[sharkbytes]

Re: Breastfeeding (moved from Industry Discussion)

Everyone talks about how "natural" it is, and that's true. But it's a perfectly natural thing to relieve yourself as well, and yet I don't want to see someone going to the bathroom in public. I realize that if someone chooses to breastfeed their child, it's difficult to plan where and when they'll need to feed, and there aren't always places available to go and feed privately. There's a big difference between discreetly breastfeeding a baby, and just openly and publicly doing so. And it isn't the issue of seeing breasts in public (at least not for me, that is. I'm a grown woman and I could care less about the nudity aspect) If that were the case, it shouldn't be acceptable for men to go shirtless as well. It's just that it feels like a private, bodily mother/child thing that the public shouldn't have a bird's eye view of.

 

[M.A.C. head.]

Re: Breastfeeding (moved from Industry Discussion)

Quote:

Originally Posted by sharkbytes Everyone talks about how "natural" it is, and that's true. But it's a perfectly natural thing to relieve yourself as well, and yet I don't want to see someone going to the bathroom in public. I realize that if someone chooses to breastfeed their child, it's difficult to plan where and when they'll need to feed, and there aren't always places available to go and feed privately. There's a big difference between discreetly breastfeeding a baby, and just openly and publicly doing so. And it isn't the issue of seeing breasts in public (at least not for me, that is. I'm a grown woman and I could care less about the nudity aspect) If that were the case, it shouldn't be acceptable for men to go shirtless as well. It's just that it feels like a private, bodily mother/child thing that the public shouldn't have a bird's eye view of.

Now you're comparing taking a dump or a leak in public to breastfeeding...

It's bonding and personal but it shouldn't have to be kept private. If that's the case, then everyone should have to eat with a blanket over their head or in the corner.

ETA There shouldn't be any PDA [public display of affection] either, by that logic.

 

[*Stargazer*]

Re: Breastfeeding (moved from Industry Discussion)

I wondered how long it would be before we got the breastfeeding and urination/defecation comparison.

 

[*Stargazer*]

Re: Breastfeeding (moved from Industry Discussion)

MAChead, I'll be calling you up for the next nurse-in!

 

[M.A.C. head.]

Re: Breastfeeding (moved from Industry Discussion)

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Stargazer* I wondered how long it would be before we got the breastfeeding and urination/defecation comparison.

For sure.

 

[M.A.C. head.]

Re: Breastfeeding (moved from Industry Discussion)

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Stargazer* MAChead, I'll be calling you up for the next nurse-in!

Oh Skittles! You live in NoVa too?!

I don't BF anymore, but next time I have a baby I'll do it LOL

 

[*Stargazer*]

Re: Breastfeeding (moved from Industry Discussion)

Quote:

Originally Posted by M.A.C. head. Oh Skittles! You live in NoVa too?! I don't BF anymore, but next time I have a baby I'll do it LOL

Yup, I'm down the road from you, in Stafford. You can come and hold my picket sign while I nurse the kiddo LMAO

 

[sharkbytes]

Re: Breastfeeding (moved from Industry Discussion)

Quote:

Originally Posted by M.A.C. head. Now you're comparing taking a dump or a leak in public to breastfeeding... It's bonding and personal but it shouldn't have to be kept private. If that's the case, then everyone should have to eat with a blanket over their head or in the corner.

I'm only trying to illustrate that the argument that it's "natural" doesn't really make sense to me. Because there are a lot of things that are considered natural that just aren't done in public.

I don't think that it has to be completely private (like I said, there are times i'm sure when there's no possible way to be alone, and I'd never suggest making a baby go hungry) it's just that a little discretion would be welcome. Instead of sitting in the middle of a movie theater, or the middle of the sidewalk breastfeeding, maybe move over to the side, or an area where there isn't a ton of people. (I'm not saying *you* you, just in general

)

 

[M.A.C. head.]

Re: Breastfeeding (moved from Industry Discussion)

Quote:

Originally Posted by sharkbytes I'm only trying to illustrate that the argument that it's "natural" doesn't really make sense to me. Because there are a lot of things that are considered natural that just aren't done in public. I don't think that it has to be completely private (like I said, there are times i'm sure when there's no possible way to be alone, and I'd never suggest making a baby go hungry) it's just that a little discretion would be welcome. Instead of sitting in the middle of a movie theater, or the middle of the sidewalk breastfeeding, maybe move over to the side, or an area where there isn't a ton of people. (I'm not saying *you* you, just in general )

I get what you're saying about the "natural" argument, but what doesn't make sense to me is the fact that you're trying to make defecating and breastfeeding in public part of the same issue. That's all.

The rest of the comment just goes right back around to people being overly sexualized. People would complain about a mother BFing in the mall, but they wouldn't do the same for the couple smooching. Really. It's a double standard of sorts. Like when people were offended about the issue of Parents magazine that's cover showed a mother BFing [no nipple showing], but all the same, they walk passed a Victoria's Secret store or an Abercrombie store and notice and say nothing...

 

[Beauty Mark]

Re: Breastfeeding (moved from Industry Discussion)

As for the very first post, I personally think that the woman should've waited to try on the shoes after she finished feeding the baby. I haven't bought shoes in a store in years where I'm waited on, but to me, I wouldn't want to take up a SA's time more than necessary.

As long as you're not making a big show of it (I swear, there are a handful of breastfeeding mothers who do have a chip on their shoulders and want to fight if you kind of glance in their direction), I don't care. I just hate people making a big show out of anything, though. That includes making out really aggressively in public (some people should get a room).

My friends breastfeed their kids. You see maybe the top of the breast if that. The head usually covers the bulk of it. They quietly put their breasts back in their bras when they finish feeding. It really isn't a big deal

 

[sharkbytes]

Re: Breastfeeding (moved from Industry Discussion)

I get what you're saying there, and it is a bit of a double standard. I think it's a bit extreme to get offended over breastfeeding in a PARENTS magazine, for sure. And I imagine it feels crappy to have to deal with people who are bothered by it when you're trying to feed your kid. I don't like to witness it particularly, but I'd never protest or shoot dirty looks or anything. It's just my personal preference.

I'm not too keen on smooching in public either, lol. A small show of affection is cool, I just hate when people slobber all over each other in public! I can see your point though, of why the double standard is irksome. Thanks for the thoughtful reply...I had a feeling I'd get jumped all over and chased with torches for my opinion, but you were very polite and logical

 

[M.A.C. head.]

Re: Breastfeeding (moved from Industry Discussion)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beauty Mark As for the very first post, I personally think that the woman should've waited to try on the shoes after she finished feeding the baby. I haven't bought shoes in a store in years where I'm waited on, but to me, I wouldn't want to take up a SA's time more than necessary. As long as you're not making a big show of it (I swear, there are a handful of breastfeeding mothers who do have a chip on their shoulders and want to fight if you kind of glance in their direction), I don't care. I just hate people making a big show out of anything, though. My friends breastfeed their kids. You see maybe the top of the breast if that. The head usually covers the bulk of it.

I agree with this post entirely.

The whole BFing while having people help you put on shoes = out of line. She sort of forced the situation into the girls' face, and that's not cool.

And the "chip on shoulder" thing too. BFing should be about mother and baby not trying to stir up a fight. That's just wrong.

 

[M.A.C. head.]

Re: Breastfeeding (moved from Industry Discussion)

Quote:

Originally Posted by sharkbytes I get what you're saying there, and it is a bit of a double standard. I think it's a bit extreme to get offended over breastfeeding in a PARENTS magazine, for sure. And I imagine it feels crappy to have to deal with people who are bothered by it when you're trying to feed your kid. I don't like to witness it particularly, but I'd never protest or shoot dirty looks or anything. It's just my personal preference. I'm not too keen on smooching in public either, lol. A small show of affection is cool, I just hate when people slobber all over each other in public! I can see your point though, of why the double standard is irksome. Thanks for the thoughtful reply...I had a feeling I'd get jumped all over and chased with torches for my opinion, but you were very polite and logical

No problem. You showed the same respect, so it's cool.

 

[xStarryEyedX]

Re: Breastfeeding (moved from Industry Discussion)

I think that some people are a little bit more comfortable with accepting things that they're not used to than others. To some people, its not a big deal. It's a boob- get over it. But some people are more traditional and think that breastfeeding should be done in private. I don't think that anybody's right or wrong, it's a comfort thing. Personally, I've only been in this situation once. It's really as easy as looking away. As long as you don't stare for more than maybe 1.5 seconds, you probably wont see anything that you don't want to see. That's the end of it. I can understand that people are uncomfortable with it because it's not what they're used to, but I'm sure that the mother doesn't want to be sitting there with people staring at her boobs- she's just feeding her child. Look away, it's easy enough

.

 

[Beauty Mark]

Re: Breastfeeding (moved from Industry Discussion)

Quote:

Originally Posted by M.A.C. head. I agree with this post entirely. The whole BFing while having people help you put on shoes = out of line. She sort of forced the situation into the girls' face, and that's not cool. And the "chip on shoulder" thing too. BFing should be about mother and baby not trying to stir up a fight. That's just wrong.

My main problem with the shoe thing is it seems like it took extra time than necessary. It's like when people stop in the middle of their tracks to talk on the phone, making it inconvenient for everyone else to walk around them.

I think some people are just always on the defense and want to fight, which sucks, because honestly, I'm not staring at your tit. There might be something that's in your direction that I'm looking at or I'm zoning out.

 

[*Stargazer*]

Re: Breastfeeding (moved from Industry Discussion)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beauty Mark My main problem with the shoe thing is it seems like it took extra time than necessary. It's like when people stop in the middle of their tracks to talk on the phone, making it inconvenient for everyone else to walk around them. I think some people are just always on the defense and want to fight, which sucks, because honestly, I'm not staring at your tit. There might be something that's in your direction that I'm looking at or I'm zoning out.

ITA with the thing about that shoe shopping. That woman was just a straight up bitch. She'd have done the same thing with yakking on the phone, I bet.


I'm usually pretty good about not being on the defensive about BFing in public, because most people do kind of a double take and either shoot you a smile or just look away. Sometimes though, its painfully obvious that they want you to die LOL

 

[ratmist]

Re: Breastfeeding (moved from Industry Discussion)

Quote:

Originally Posted by sharkbytes I'm not a fan of public breastfeeding either, and it has nothing at all to do with the "sexualization" of it. It's just that *in my opinion* it IS a private moment. Not because the mother's breasts are exposed (because honestly, with the amount of manboobs just hanging out there, there really is no difference) but because it's kind of rude to assume that people want to see someone breastfeed their kid. It IS different from bottle feeding because there is an intimate mother/child connection. It wouldn't make a difference to me if the mother fed from her arm rather than her breast, it still isn't something that the whole world needs to witness. That said, I don't think there should be any kind of law against it. That's just way too far. I'd just rather folks be a bit more polite.

Even dressing it up as a call for "politeness" or "privateness", this is just a classic case of projecting one's own insecurities onto someone else.

If you don't want to see it, just don't look.

EDIT: This is coming from a woman about to become a mother for the first time, very jittery about being able to breastfeed in public (though there are laws where I live that make it illegal for anyone to ask me to leave a public place on the basis of breastfeeding in public). I don't see a difference between doing your job in a shoe store by serving someone and say, serving someone as a waitress, or any other role that requires you wait on a customer. If that customer is breastfeeding, so fucking what. Do your job, let her do hers, and if you don't like it, it may be that you've got insecurities, not that the woman's doing anything wrong.

Rant rant rant. Sorry, I just have no patience for this kind of thing anymore. It's hard enough trying to be a good parent in the West without worrying about everyone else's insecurities involving the feeding of my own child.

 

[nibjet]

Re: Breastfeeding (moved from Industry Discussion)

I'm more offended by the attitude that it is acceptable to do it wherever they want than the breastfeeding itself. When I worked at a dept. store (in the salon, but this happened out in the store) a woman took it upon herself to plop down on the display beds to breastfeed, and threw a huge fit when they asked her to move. It had nothing to do with the breastfeeding, that's not what those beds are there for, NO ONE is allowed on them. A similar incident happened in the shoe dept. a few months later, different woman, same sense of entitlement. Our mall does have a rather nice nursing room, and a family bathroom, but in the 6 1/2 years I worked at that mall, I never saw the nursing room occupied.

*edited to say that yes, other people do sit on displays or take up chairs when they had no intention of purchasing shoes, but they (for the most part) didn't throw a huge fit about it when asked to move, while the nursing women automatically assumed it was over the nursing.

 

[Lapis]

Re: Breastfeeding (moved from Industry Discussion)

You know being an immigrant and having 2 kids in 2 different cultures it's always amazing to see how hung up Americans are on public breastfeeding!
I'm still breastfeeding my 21 month old (a whole other discussion I know), she's never taken a bottle or sippy cup, she refused them everytime she was offered she'd rather cry and stay hungry than take one we had to move her to cups with straws at 6 months.

Now truthfully on the covering thing, most kids will think that the cover is a toy and you are much more likely to see my boob cause my kid is popping off and uncovering her head.

I never understand how ppl can get pissed at seeing a kid nurse, most of the time you can't even see anything!!
My kids head blocks most of it, I'm more hoping that my fat roll isn't visable

Quote:

Originally Posted by sharkbytes Everyone talks about how "natural" it is, and that's true. But it's a perfectly natural thing to relieve yourself as well, and yet I don't want to see someone going to the bathroom in public. I realize that if someone chooses to breastfeed their child, it's difficult to plan where and when they'll need to feed, and there aren't always places available to go and feed privately. There's a big difference between discreetly breastfeeding a baby, and just openly and publicly doing so. And it isn't the issue of seeing breasts in public (at least not for me, that is. I'm a grown woman and I could care less about the nudity aspect) If that were the case, it shouldn't be acceptable for men to go shirtless as well. It's just that it feels like a private, bodily mother/child thing that the public shouldn't have a bird's eye view of.

I don't agree I think this needs to be normalized, I always remember a quote from a male doctor in Saudi Arabia who said when he went into the room with the women who had recently birthed, and were sitting breastfeeding they all moved to grab their hijab! They had no issue with breastfeeding infront of a man, and it's actually normalized in their culture.

Also taking a dump and breastfeeding have nothing in common, a child has to be feed, this is the way nature intended for them to be fed, I think this country needs to get over it.
I'd post more but dd is on my lap

 

[Simply Elegant]

Re: Breastfeeding (moved from Industry Discussion)

I always thought a baby's need to eat was more important than other people who don't need to look be comfortable. It's not hard to look away but it is hard to listen to a screaming baby. Breasts aren't just sexual and I don't see why it's so hard to realize that.