Children -- yay or nay?

[mzcelaneous]

Yay for me, since I already have a 4.5 y/o and plan on having one more child. My reasons for having children are pretty selfish if you think about it. One of my passions is helping others (thus, my career choice is Nursing). I wanted to have kids to nourish them, teach them, and help them grow up to become great individuals that may make a difference in our society (whatever they choose to do). Bascially create my own masterpiece in human form heh. I want to share my life with another human other than my significant other. I love and take great pride when my daughter accomplishes a big task such as learning how to write, scoring a few goals on her soccer team, and drawing the perfect picture. I know she's not perfect, but I love everything about her -- including her imperfections. If she chooses a different path other than what I've choosen for her, that's fine. It's very similar to getting married...to spend your life with someone. But you don't have to be responsbile for them i.e. change them, clothe them , feed them...well, scratch the last part

OK, now....I'm just curious as to why people decide to not have children. I only know a handful of women/men who choose not to have kids and their reasons are pretty much the same: either it's financial or they feel they're too selfish. One of my friends sole reason is because she doesn't want to lose her figure to pregnancy and can't imagine adopting because it's not her own child. Please know that I am not being judgemental or think that you should have children. To each her own...it's your own choice. I don't want to rub anyone the wrong way. I really am just curious. With that said, are there any other reasons?

 

[Wattage]

I know that I will have children one day, but I have seriously considered not having them. I love kids in every way possible, but I think that sometimes I doubt my ability to be a good mother. I think these thoughts probably stem from my own insecurities rather than my ability to provide. I didn't exactly have a stellar example of a mother, so I worry that I would treat my kids like my mom did... even though we aren't very much alike.

 

[bAbY_cHiCkEn01]

I'd love to have a child, although I'm very scared and far too young... but I don't know if I want one as, as my partner says which is beyond true, why would you want to create another life on this planet when theres too many ppl as it is and a LOT of them are small children without parents and without somebody to love them... plus I'm far too selfish a person... So I would adopt but then I think, it's not my own child and I'd feel so let down if they didn't want me anymore once they're of age...

 

[Amikathryn]

Wasn't sure I wanted them either but then I got to a certain age wondering if that's all there was....something was missing. I know now that is was kids...have a 7 yr old and an almost 5 year old and they are the brightest lights and I'm so glad they're here.

 

[brandiisamonkey]

well Im yay lol... Im due in a week BUT I doubt ill have him then, im not even dialated at all

When I was younger I never wanted kids, I just wasnt motherly lol, im still nervous about it because I mean this is a LIFETIME commitment lol Ive never REALLY commited to anything in my life. But I know that I love my baby and that I will TRY and be the best mom possible. And my fiancee is such a "daddy" he will be a great dad so im not worried about him lol im worried about me...

 

[mans_x_ruin]

I adore kids...I eventually want to work with kids...I'm really, really good with kids, but I've often said that I don't want my own...that I will be content to be aunt Jamie, and send them on their way..

At this point in my life, it *is* because I'm too selfish, and don't see myself wanting to give up so much of what I'm able to do now (mainly vacations with the other half, being able to get up and just go, etc)...I'm incredebly worried about having to be completely responsible for somebody that's not myself or my dog, for a lifetime...

Everyone says it will change when I get older, but honestly, I've never been the type of girl to say that I want to be married and have kids, and have this perfect little house, etc....It's never been a goal of mine for any of those things, for whatever reason..

I'm convinced I'm gonna be the crazy, eccentric little old lady with the cats...

 

[user79]

I'm a nyay? Haha...fence sitter. I like kids - at a distance. I'm definitely not about to pop any babies out anytime soon, even though I'm already 26. I don't want the responsibility and I can't commit to that right now. There's still a lot I want to do with my life and I don't see a child in that picture (yet). I think if I ever do become a mother, I will do it in my 30s, which is more and more common now anyway. I can't imagine being a young mom in my late teens or early twenties...I would feel like I was robbed of my freedom before I was able to experience and live as I wanted to. Also, I don't think I can provide for a child yet as I would like to if I became a mother, so there's that aspect too.

Also, I really DETEST crying, screaming children. It makes me want to pull out my hair, so I'm not sure I would have the patience for it at all. I'm not a very patient person and I think you need that and nerves of steel to be a good parent.

Some people just KNOW their whole life they want children, and they get such joy out of being around children. I've just never been that kind of person.

 

[Shimmer]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissChievous I'm a nyay? Haha...fence sitter. I like kids - at a distance. I'm definitely not about to pop any babies out anytime soon, even though I'm already 26. I don't want the responsibility and I can't commit to that right now. There's still a lot I want to do with my life and I don't see a child in that picture (yet). I think if I ever do become a mother, I will do it in my 30s, which is more and more common now anyway. I can't imagine being a young mom in my late teens or early twenties...I would feel like I was robbed of my freedom before I was able to experience and live as I wanted to. Also, I don't think I can provide for a child yet as I would like to if I became a mother, so there's that aspect too. Also, I really DETEST crying, screaming children. It makes me want to pull out my hair, so I'm not sure I would have the patience for it at all. I'm not a very patient person and I think you need that and nerves of steel to be a good parent. Some people just KNOW their whole life they want children, and they get such joy out of being around children. I've just never been that kind of person.

I promise, it's SO much different when they're your kids than when they're someone else's.

 

[MAC_Whore]

A definite nay! I have never, ever had the slightest inkling of desire to have children. It's not that I don't like kids, I just don't want to make it our lifestyle. Fortunately my husband feels the same way. Thank God! I think part of it is that we have way too much fun together and we just don't feel that we are missing anything by not having kids.

I also see a lot of parents that just shouldn't be parents and it breaks my heart. I realize and fully appreciate the commitment it takes to raise a child in a proper and healthy manner and I feel that if I am not a 120% sure that I want a child, I just shouldn't be having one. That's just my two cents.

 

[Throwaway Style]

I am totally undecided. I really think I'm gonna have to settle into a career and see where that takes me before considering kids. And I dont ever plan on giving birth to one of my own, but I plan on adopting, since my sisters are both adopted from China, and there are so many kids that need homes.

 

[lara]

Absolutely nay to the extent that I have Essure booked for the week after my 27th birthday, the day my Mirena comes out. I'd also like DH to get a vasectomy to be doubly sure (I'd rather be safe than sorry) but that's his choice to make.

My reasons are personal and not something I want to get into on a forum that isn't a childfree safe space, but they're absolutely unshakable. Besides, my hippy flowerchild sister does all the breeding for the family.

 

[lightnlovly]

Quote:

Originally Posted by wattage I know that I will have children one day, but I have seriously considered not having them. I love kids in every way possible, but I think that sometimes I doubt my ability to be a good mother. I think these thoughts probably stem from my own insecurities rather than my ability to provide. I didn't exactly have a stellar example of a mother, so I worry that I would treat my kids like my mom did... even though we aren't very much alike.

I'm on the fence about it..I'm only 26, but I've raised alot of babies--considering everybody started poppin them out in High School. I feel that not having that motherly "role model" will only help your mothering skills--that which does not kill you, only makes u stronger right? I was raised by a single father (which is rare in this day and age) My mother chose her own path, my daddy thankfully took control. I do eventually want children (God willing), but for now I need to do me for awhile. I will admit that now and then I do have those " awww I wanna a baby" feelings--I'll just have to see what the future holds!

 

[IslandGirl77]

I was always a person that said I didn't want kids. But, three kids later. I wouldn't trade them for the world. They keep me on my toes. I have a friend that is my age,29. And she does not want kids. She has a cat, and she says that's enough for her. Her reasons are...she's a workaholic and is obessesed with her job and she's selfish. I mean to each his own I guess. My kids changed my life, and I think it was a good change. I think I also scared my friends when they went to the hospital with me to give birth. LOL

 

[Lalli]

when i get married i definantly want kids

 

[Throwaway Style]

I'm really really considering adoption, but I really dont know if i would wanna have a kid put up with me, haha.

 

[quandolak]

..........

 

[lara]

:roll:

The experience of one does not dictate the experiences of all, nor do the experiences of many dictate the experience of the individual. It goes both ways.

 

[quandolak]

............

 

[hyperRealGurl]

Having kids is a personal choice.... I have no ill feelings on the matter b/c who am i to judge someone for not wanting to have kids. Ppl have children for many reasons, and some ppl dont for many reasons.

My aunt is 32 years old and she does not have kids.
My sister is 24 and she does not have kids.

But i have 2 beautiful little boys whom i adore. So it was a yay for me

If i had the choice to have more..."it would be a Nay" Unofortunantly for medical reasons i had to get a tubal Ligation, so i have no worries about having more babies. I love babies/childrens/kids love them all
but 2 is enough for me. Just keeping the family tradtion alive i guess... my dad had 2 girls , and i had 2 boys.

 

[Lalli]

^^that is sooo sweet!!
we're 6 girls and one boy, my sis younger then me is like i dnt want kids blah blah n i want a few