Children -- yay or nay?
- Thread starter mzcelaneous
- Start date
YvetteJeannine
Well-known member
Most likely a NAY for moi. I'm 27, and my husband is 32. He's asked me if I wanted him to get a vesectomy, but I said no. I DO want to keep our options open if in the case I decide I want them later. Matthew (hubby) told me he wants them if I want them, but I don't think he's got a yearning passion to have them! I DO LOVE children. I've got a 13yr old niece (Samantha) and I was with her every single day 'till she was about three (she was VERY colicky, and my sister needed all the help she could get). I spend a lot of time w/ her now. She's like a daughter to me. Matthew's sister has three kids, and the oldest (Gabriella...she's 7) stayed w/ us last summer for a week, and we're now making plans for her to come back this summer. We had a BLAST together...I took her everywhere. I taught her how to paint, and garden, and swim. I got her interested in all my crystals, and minerals, and now she collects them too! When Matt had days off work, we went to the beach, the water park, etc. I LOVE children (good children). What I hate is breeder mothers whom keep having more and more but cannot take care of ONE kid..never mind three or four!!!!!
I never wanted children..even when I was little I didn't want them. I've simply too much I want to do. We love to travel..and I'm sorry...it's just not the same with a child. I'm finishing my education...and I want to possibly get a doctorate...you just can't do that and take care of a kid (properly) and work, too. I have my animals. IMO, they give more love to me than a child ever could. Some people say they have kids because they want someone to love them???!!!! Newsflash: Kids don't give...they TAKE! I know many will argue this, but more often than not, MOST kids do not give love..they take it. Now, all kids are different...so that statement obviously doesn't apply to all children...but all the same, IMO, it's true.
The thing I hate hate hate is when people call others selfish for not wanting kids. Women (that don't want kids) are so used to hearing this, that they've taken to calling themselves selfish!!! IMO, many people whom DO have kids are selfish (the ones that keep having them but don't care for them correctly). When I was little, I always wondered why I was simply EXPECTED to breed! I thought: "Maybe I don't want children...why do people keep telling me things will be different when I have kids?". NO, I'm sorry, but just 'cause a woman doesn't want kids does not mean she's selfish! Many women w/o kids choose to give their time to others. Many are teachers, nurses, doctors, and even child-care workers. Many (like myself) even give their time to such efforts as Big Brothers Big Sisters, and other charities/organizations. Many childfree women also give to animals...giving their time, and/or money, etc. Most women w/ children cannot spare their time for such efforts (notice I said MOST....there obviously are some women that DO things like this...I personally don't know any, however).
Anyway, I didn't intend on making this as long as it's become. This is a highly personal issue...but I see so many women that DO have kids get angry at women that DON'T want, or don't have kids. Are they threatened? Maybe SOME (not all) of them wish they could have the time and freedoms of the childfree (although I'm sure they wouldn't trade thier kids for the world). I know that Matthew and I live a wonderful life together that we highly enjoy. We take at least one major vacation every year, we go on mini-trips on days off, we buy each other lavish gifts for birthdays, anniversaries, and Christmas..We pick our work schedules to our liking...We're able to have (and have time for) our beloved animals. Most important..we have time for EACH OTHER! We can cuddle, make love, watch TV, read to each other, and do anything else we want WHEN we want!! All that would change if we had children. I love to have my nieces for a day, or week...but in the end, they go back to their mothers...and then I can walk my dogs, clean my house, and relax
.
I never wanted children..even when I was little I didn't want them. I've simply too much I want to do. We love to travel..and I'm sorry...it's just not the same with a child. I'm finishing my education...and I want to possibly get a doctorate...you just can't do that and take care of a kid (properly) and work, too. I have my animals. IMO, they give more love to me than a child ever could. Some people say they have kids because they want someone to love them???!!!! Newsflash: Kids don't give...they TAKE! I know many will argue this, but more often than not, MOST kids do not give love..they take it. Now, all kids are different...so that statement obviously doesn't apply to all children...but all the same, IMO, it's true.
The thing I hate hate hate is when people call others selfish for not wanting kids. Women (that don't want kids) are so used to hearing this, that they've taken to calling themselves selfish!!! IMO, many people whom DO have kids are selfish (the ones that keep having them but don't care for them correctly). When I was little, I always wondered why I was simply EXPECTED to breed! I thought: "Maybe I don't want children...why do people keep telling me things will be different when I have kids?". NO, I'm sorry, but just 'cause a woman doesn't want kids does not mean she's selfish! Many women w/o kids choose to give their time to others. Many are teachers, nurses, doctors, and even child-care workers. Many (like myself) even give their time to such efforts as Big Brothers Big Sisters, and other charities/organizations. Many childfree women also give to animals...giving their time, and/or money, etc. Most women w/ children cannot spare their time for such efforts (notice I said MOST....there obviously are some women that DO things like this...I personally don't know any, however).
Anyway, I didn't intend on making this as long as it's become. This is a highly personal issue...but I see so many women that DO have kids get angry at women that DON'T want, or don't have kids. Are they threatened? Maybe SOME (not all) of them wish they could have the time and freedoms of the childfree (although I'm sure they wouldn't trade thier kids for the world). I know that Matthew and I live a wonderful life together that we highly enjoy. We take at least one major vacation every year, we go on mini-trips on days off, we buy each other lavish gifts for birthdays, anniversaries, and Christmas..We pick our work schedules to our liking...We're able to have (and have time for) our beloved animals. Most important..we have time for EACH OTHER! We can cuddle, make love, watch TV, read to each other, and do anything else we want WHEN we want!! All that would change if we had children. I love to have my nieces for a day, or week...but in the end, they go back to their mothers...and then I can walk my dogs, clean my house, and relax
Raerae
Well-known member
I would love to have kids.... someday...
But right now I really dont see that hapening. I have no intention of having kids for the sake of having children. But I think if the time was right, that I could see myself being a mommy.
I think a big part of that is influenced by the fact that my Mom didn't have me until she was 33. So being only 24, i really feel like I have a lot of time left to mature and really find out who I am. I have a hard enough time keeping my relationships together right now, let alone a lifetime commitment to a son or daughter.
I did get a cat though. And you know what? It's a LOT of work. I never really knew how much time and effort is involved in having an indoor cat, since my Mom did all the work before. And it's not just buying food, and cleaning the litter box.
Perfect example, just last night, I'm watching TV and my little kitty goes to use the box, does his business, and comes out and drags his butt across the carpet because for whatever reason he made a mess back there. Now not only do I have to clean the carpet, but I have to clean him, since there is no way i'm letting him cuddle with me with stinky butt LOL.
It gets better.
So i take care of all of that, watch some more TV ad go to bed. I left the papertowel roll on the coffee table. When I went into the living room this morning, i had an ENTIRE roll of papertowell confetti spread around ever square inch of my living room. And it's not like I can tell my cat to clean it up. If it's not that, it's the extra cleaning of the couch to get rid of the cat hair, or whatever.
I can only begin to imagine what raising a child must be like.
But right now I really dont see that hapening. I have no intention of having kids for the sake of having children. But I think if the time was right, that I could see myself being a mommy.
I think a big part of that is influenced by the fact that my Mom didn't have me until she was 33. So being only 24, i really feel like I have a lot of time left to mature and really find out who I am. I have a hard enough time keeping my relationships together right now, let alone a lifetime commitment to a son or daughter.
I did get a cat though. And you know what? It's a LOT of work. I never really knew how much time and effort is involved in having an indoor cat, since my Mom did all the work before. And it's not just buying food, and cleaning the litter box.
Perfect example, just last night, I'm watching TV and my little kitty goes to use the box, does his business, and comes out and drags his butt across the carpet because for whatever reason he made a mess back there. Now not only do I have to clean the carpet, but I have to clean him, since there is no way i'm letting him cuddle with me with stinky butt LOL.
It gets better.
So i take care of all of that, watch some more TV ad go to bed. I left the papertowel roll on the coffee table. When I went into the living room this morning, i had an ENTIRE roll of papertowell confetti spread around ever square inch of my living room. And it's not like I can tell my cat to clean it up. If it's not that, it's the extra cleaning of the couch to get rid of the cat hair, or whatever.
I can only begin to imagine what raising a child must be like.
brandiisamonkey
Well-known member
Quote:
Welcome to the world of owning your OWN pet its alot of work but you have to love the lil furries lol... Wait till it starts hackin gup stuff lol
Oh and my cat decided that since I left a plate on my counter with a chicken leg on it that it would be a good idea to drag it off the plate and eat it on my couch talk about a supprise lol
| Originally Posted by Raerae I would love to have kids.... someday... But right now I really dont see that hapening. I have no intention of having kids for the sake of having children. But I think if the time was right, that I could see myself being a mommy. I think a big part of that is influenced by the fact that my Mom didn't have me until she was 33. So being only 24, i really feel like I have a lot of time left to mature and really find out who I am. I have a hard enough time keeping my relationships together right now, let alone a lifetime commitment to a son or daughter. I did get a cat though. And you know what? It's a LOT of work. I never really knew how much time and effort is involved in having an indoor cat, since my Mom did all the work before. And it's not just buying food, and cleaning the litter box. Perfect example, just last night, I'm watching TV and my little kitty goes to use the box, does his business, and comes out and drags his butt across the carpet because for whatever reason he made a mess back there. Now not only do I have to clean the carpet, but I have to clean him, since there is no way i'm letting him cuddle with me with stinky butt LOL. It gets better. So i take care of all of that, watch some more TV ad go to bed. I left the papertowel roll on the coffee table. When I went into the living room this morning, i had an ENTIRE roll of papertowell confetti spread around ever square inch of my living room. And it's not like I can tell my cat to clean it up. If it's not that, it's the extra cleaning of the couch to get rid of the cat hair, or whatever. I can only begin to imagine what raising a child must be like. |
Welcome to the world of owning your OWN pet its alot of work but you have to love the lil furries lol... Wait till it starts hackin gup stuff lol
Oh and my cat decided that since I left a plate on my counter with a chicken leg on it that it would be a good idea to drag it off the plate and eat it on my couch talk about a supprise lol
Ms. Z
Well-known member
I love children, as a small girl I always knew I would be a Mom. I am a mother of one; I absolutely adore him, I loved the whole experience, teaching him, watching him become the person he is, school trips, etc. except the being pregnant part (no I had no morning sickness or cravings and I had no labor pains, but I felt uncomfortable and scared). I have a high tolerance for pain but at the hospital when it was time to give birth, it hit me, “it’s coming out from where?” Joking aside, I think being a parent is wonderful…....for those who want it.
I feel that it’s wrong to try to convince someone to have a child when they don’t want to. All the people who don’t want to have children or don’t like children don’t change their mind after they have one. Parenthood is a lifelong commitment; it’s not a job, career or mate that you can just leave because it no longer suits you.
I feel that it’s wrong to try to convince someone to have a child when they don’t want to. All the people who don’t want to have children or don’t like children don’t change their mind after they have one. Parenthood is a lifelong commitment; it’s not a job, career or mate that you can just leave because it no longer suits you.
Ms. Z
Well-known member
MAC_Whore said:NOTE: Not trying to start an arguement here, just providing another viewpoint.
I appreciate what you are saying. However, having children is a lifestyle choice, like for example sexual preference. I happen to be heterosexual, and that is just my preference. It is what I feel is right for me. I don't feel that I have to try out the other side of the fence, in this case, homosexuality, to know for sure. Totally agree.
Women who have the intelligence and forethought to not have children when they know it is not for them, are not short-changing themselves. They just know what they want. Just as a lot of women who have children know that was the choice they wanted to make. I just see it as why should I bring a child into the world if I know that is not what I want? I am not going to have a child just to "test the waters."
I guess the thing that is a bit annoying about it is that rarely does someone question someone's choice to have kids like they do for women who don't have kids. For example, I have often been asked, "When are you having kids?" or "Oh, you're not having any, why?" or "Give it time, you'll change your mind". But it would seem so rude if the situation were reversed and I said to someone who just had a child, "Why did you do that?" or "Sure, you're happy now, but give it time, you'll change your mind" too funny!.[/quote]
Y-E-S !!!!!
Beauty Mark
Well-known member
Quote:
I haven't chopped off a limb, and I already know I wouldn't like that. People are always trying to talk me into having kids, and it's usually strangers! I could be the biggest jackass on this planet for all they know. Who are they to tell me that I shouldn't have kids? The decision hurts no one.
I wish more people would tell others not to have kids or consider the possibility. Children are a huge responsiblity, and one I don't want. You are parent for at least 18 years, and you can never, ever quit, without a major stigma. You can't put your 6 year old up for adoption because you decide that children aren't for you and expect people to treat you the same way after; I don't condone that, but it's true.
I'm in the minority here, but I really don't like kids or babies. They don't interest or fascinate me at all. Some are okay and some I enjoy, but I don't overall like being around children. I prefer being around people or animals I can relate to; I can relate to my cats better than a baby. I can't explain it better than that. I don't think I'm programmed to want or have kids. Knowing this about myself makes me not want to have kids.
I also really love my lifestyle. I hang out whenever I want. If I want to take a trip somewhere, I don't have to schedule around someone else's life. I see myself being dedicated to a career and not a child. I know this goes against feminism, but I don't think you can have it all. I know some people have careers and children, but those children also spend time with a nanny, sitter, or by themselves. I don't believe in having another person raise your kids, and I don't want to sacrifice a career.
Being childfree isn't fun. Some people will act like you're the devil or murderer for not wanting children (some of those people are crappy parents, too.) Some people think you're selfish, but want is being selfish and of itself. I'm not saying being selfish is always bad, but it is what it is. Besides, I've heard too many selfish reasons for people to have kids. That selfishness is worse, because your actions are going to affect another being pretty drastically. Again, mine are only affecting myself and a partner possibly
I also hate how people treat you like you're stupid or didn't think about it when so many people in this world have kids without considering the consequences. The stigma of not having children is absurd. I don't care if people have kids (I prefer that people adopt, but that's another story and I'm very lenient on that one), as long as they raise them well. Raising them well is having the financial and mental means to raise them.
| Do you notice that a lot of people try to talk you into having kids? Or ask you why you don't want to have children? Or they feel that it is so unnatural to not have kids that they assume it is a medical problem? I ask because that has happened to me a lot. Especially in the mid-late 20s. The worst persuasion/piece of "advice" someone gave me was: "How do you know you won't like having kids until you try it." |
I haven't chopped off a limb, and I already know I wouldn't like that. People are always trying to talk me into having kids, and it's usually strangers! I could be the biggest jackass on this planet for all they know. Who are they to tell me that I shouldn't have kids? The decision hurts no one.
I wish more people would tell others not to have kids or consider the possibility. Children are a huge responsiblity, and one I don't want. You are parent for at least 18 years, and you can never, ever quit, without a major stigma. You can't put your 6 year old up for adoption because you decide that children aren't for you and expect people to treat you the same way after; I don't condone that, but it's true.
I'm in the minority here, but I really don't like kids or babies. They don't interest or fascinate me at all. Some are okay and some I enjoy, but I don't overall like being around children. I prefer being around people or animals I can relate to; I can relate to my cats better than a baby. I can't explain it better than that. I don't think I'm programmed to want or have kids. Knowing this about myself makes me not want to have kids.
I also really love my lifestyle. I hang out whenever I want. If I want to take a trip somewhere, I don't have to schedule around someone else's life. I see myself being dedicated to a career and not a child. I know this goes against feminism, but I don't think you can have it all. I know some people have careers and children, but those children also spend time with a nanny, sitter, or by themselves. I don't believe in having another person raise your kids, and I don't want to sacrifice a career.
Being childfree isn't fun. Some people will act like you're the devil or murderer for not wanting children (some of those people are crappy parents, too.) Some people think you're selfish, but want is being selfish and of itself. I'm not saying being selfish is always bad, but it is what it is. Besides, I've heard too many selfish reasons for people to have kids. That selfishness is worse, because your actions are going to affect another being pretty drastically. Again, mine are only affecting myself and a partner possibly
I also hate how people treat you like you're stupid or didn't think about it when so many people in this world have kids without considering the consequences. The stigma of not having children is absurd. I don't care if people have kids (I prefer that people adopt, but that's another story and I'm very lenient on that one), as long as they raise them well. Raising them well is having the financial and mental means to raise them.
YvetteJeannine
Well-known member
Quote:
Ha! SO TRUE!
People are always saying: "How do you know you won't like being a mother if you've never tried?"
Well....(laughs, shakes head)...UMMMMMMM.....What if I DO have a kid, and dedcide I really DON'T like being a Mom??? It's not like I can just put it back!
| I haven't chopped off a limb, and I already know I wouldn't like that. People are always trying to talk me into having kids, and it's usually strangers! I could be the biggest jackass on this planet for all they know. Who are they to tell me that I shouldn't have kids? The decision hurts no one. |
People are always saying: "How do you know you won't like being a mother if you've never tried?"
Well....(laughs, shakes head)...UMMMMMMM.....What if I DO have a kid, and dedcide I really DON'T like being a Mom??? It's not like I can just put it back!
user79
Well-known member
OK this doesn't really have to do with the question but I have to rant about this, because it really annoys me.
Here in Switzerland, we have a social state welfare system which helps people who are in need, especially families and single mothers who have young children and can't work full time.
So with that precursor...
There's this girl who is in our extended circle of friends who - when she was 19 - got knocked up by her then-boyfriend. (They aren't together anymore, they had the most dysfunctional relationship evar!) Apparently, "the pill didn't work" which is just thr first thing that pisses me off because if you take the pill CORRECTLY without any previous health hazards, it is 99.9% effective, and if you take it incorrectly, you get pregnant. It's that simple.
So anyway, even though she was in this really dysfunctional relationship with that guy, and I mean they had no hope in hell of staying together the rest of their lives, she decided to have the baby anyway. She has some work training as a salesperson in a grocery store - so not exactly a job with a really bright future, and I mean, she didn't earn a lot of money there.
So now the kid is like 2 or 3 years old and she's living in this really nice 3.5 room apartment which costs her like almost nothing because it's being heavily financed by social housing, and on top of that she's getting a nice sum from the government each month for child allowance, and also the baby's father pays her money each month.
Now, I'm glad the baby has a nice home and all, but it seriously annoys me that this girl has maybe worked 1-2 years at most (and not even full time I think), and now she lives in this really nice apartment and doesn't basically have to lift a finger work-wise. Even though she has parents who live close by who could watch the child while she gets a part-time job maybe on some evening or something, she doesn't.
And what pisses me off is that my boyfriend and I are working full time (45 hrs a week), and now have to find an apartment as well and we're not exactly swimming in money! We have so many deductions on our income because of taxes, insurance, etc etc. And it just pisses me off that this selfish girl decided to have a kid at 19 and gets this nice cushy life and she's not even working, and my boyfriend and I are right now living with relatives until we save up enough money to buy furniture and get our own place, and both of us are working our asses off.
Sigh. I mean I think the social welfare state is good over all, but sometimes I think there isn't any incentive for people like her to actually get to work again and start paying back taxes and all the money the government has given her, just because it's easier to have a child and play mommy and not have to get up every morning and work like every other person.
I mean, I get up at 6:30am and I come home at 7pm, and usually go to bed around 9 or 10pm so I feel rested in the morning. I get like 2 hours max each day to myself, and if I have chores to do like washing clothes, doing laundry, etc, it's like I get nothing. I get up, work, come home, do chores, go to bed - rinse & repeat Monday to Friday. And this girl does NOTHING and she's able to live a very comfortable life.
It just annoys me when I think about it. Some girls - to put it bluntly - if they are too STUPID to use birth control correctly, should just not be having sex and putting babies onto this world that the government has to pay for.
/rant
Here in Switzerland, we have a social state welfare system which helps people who are in need, especially families and single mothers who have young children and can't work full time.
So with that precursor...
There's this girl who is in our extended circle of friends who - when she was 19 - got knocked up by her then-boyfriend. (They aren't together anymore, they had the most dysfunctional relationship evar!) Apparently, "the pill didn't work" which is just thr first thing that pisses me off because if you take the pill CORRECTLY without any previous health hazards, it is 99.9% effective, and if you take it incorrectly, you get pregnant. It's that simple.
So anyway, even though she was in this really dysfunctional relationship with that guy, and I mean they had no hope in hell of staying together the rest of their lives, she decided to have the baby anyway. She has some work training as a salesperson in a grocery store - so not exactly a job with a really bright future, and I mean, she didn't earn a lot of money there.
So now the kid is like 2 or 3 years old and she's living in this really nice 3.5 room apartment which costs her like almost nothing because it's being heavily financed by social housing, and on top of that she's getting a nice sum from the government each month for child allowance, and also the baby's father pays her money each month.
Now, I'm glad the baby has a nice home and all, but it seriously annoys me that this girl has maybe worked 1-2 years at most (and not even full time I think), and now she lives in this really nice apartment and doesn't basically have to lift a finger work-wise. Even though she has parents who live close by who could watch the child while she gets a part-time job maybe on some evening or something, she doesn't.
And what pisses me off is that my boyfriend and I are working full time (45 hrs a week), and now have to find an apartment as well and we're not exactly swimming in money! We have so many deductions on our income because of taxes, insurance, etc etc. And it just pisses me off that this selfish girl decided to have a kid at 19 and gets this nice cushy life and she's not even working, and my boyfriend and I are right now living with relatives until we save up enough money to buy furniture and get our own place, and both of us are working our asses off.
Sigh. I mean I think the social welfare state is good over all, but sometimes I think there isn't any incentive for people like her to actually get to work again and start paying back taxes and all the money the government has given her, just because it's easier to have a child and play mommy and not have to get up every morning and work like every other person.
I mean, I get up at 6:30am and I come home at 7pm, and usually go to bed around 9 or 10pm so I feel rested in the morning. I get like 2 hours max each day to myself, and if I have chores to do like washing clothes, doing laundry, etc, it's like I get nothing. I get up, work, come home, do chores, go to bed - rinse & repeat Monday to Friday. And this girl does NOTHING and she's able to live a very comfortable life.
It just annoys me when I think about it. Some girls - to put it bluntly - if they are too STUPID to use birth control correctly, should just not be having sex and putting babies onto this world that the government has to pay for.
/rant
~LadyLocks~
Well-known member
Definitly Yay because I have already started
. I have a 16 month old beautiful little girl who is the world to me. Nothing compares to having someone look at you with so much love in their eyes knowing they feel the same way you feel about them...it's a beautiful feeling. Being a parent is such a wonderful blessing! I would like to have one more, a boy so I have my pair. If my next one is not a boy, well then will have to see about that haha.
lizsybarite
Well-known member
I'm late to this discussion but I'm in the "no kids" camp... I suppose I could change my mind but I have never in my life wanted my own children. I have worked in day care, babysat, etc. (though not in recent years), so it's not like I have no experience with children. They can be really cool. But I don't seem to have any instinct toward wanting to "mother" them, and I'm nearly 30, so if that desire hasn't kicked in yet... haha. Aside from the general lack of maternal leanings, I'm CERTAIN my reasons are selfish: I can't imagine being responsible for anything more needy than a cat, I like scampering away for a weekend, I like my stuff to not get broke, and I like spending my money on myself and loved ones. My coworkers tell me parenting-nightmare stories all the time and even though their kids are funny and cute, all I can feel is gratitude that I'm listening to these stories and not telling them. (Unless they go overboard with the stories, and then I just wish they'd change the topic altogether - LOL!)
Thankfully, my partner and I agree on the no kids issue. If she ever came home with a sperm bank catalog, looking all misty-eyed, we might have to have a serious talk!
Thankfully, my partner and I agree on the no kids issue. If she ever came home with a sperm bank catalog, looking all misty-eyed, we might have to have a serious talk!
nyrak
Well-known member
I have some pretty shallow and selfish reasons for not wanting kids, but, hell, I will share them anyway.
For one, anything to do with childbirth or various bodily functions like lactating or changing nappies COMPLETELY DISGUSTS ME. I could never put myself through anything like that.
But the major reason is that I think the world is a horrible and scary place where people can do awful things to you for no apparent reason. Humans rape the planet's resources and kill off its beautiful animals and our only solution is to breed more humans. I just can't do it. Humans are my least favourite species - I don't want to grow my own.
Also, I don't have the best relationship with my mother. Our relationship is all about dependance and obligation, two of my least favourite things. I want people to like/love me for me, not because they HAVE to. The thought of bringing someone else into the world who then feels the same way about me that I feel about my mother makes me shudder.
For one, anything to do with childbirth or various bodily functions like lactating or changing nappies COMPLETELY DISGUSTS ME. I could never put myself through anything like that.
But the major reason is that I think the world is a horrible and scary place where people can do awful things to you for no apparent reason. Humans rape the planet's resources and kill off its beautiful animals and our only solution is to breed more humans. I just can't do it. Humans are my least favourite species - I don't want to grow my own.
Also, I don't have the best relationship with my mother. Our relationship is all about dependance and obligation, two of my least favourite things. I want people to like/love me for me, not because they HAVE to. The thought of bringing someone else into the world who then feels the same way about me that I feel about my mother makes me shudder.
NutMeg
Well-known member
Quote:
Atleast you don't have to worry about accidents!
And on a more serious note, I'm personally for it but everyone has the right to make decisions for themselves.
| Originally Posted by lizsybarite Thankfully, my partner and I agree on the no kids issue. If she ever came home with a sperm bank catalog, looking all misty-eyed, we might have to have a serious talk!
|
Atleast you don't have to worry about accidents!
And on a more serious note, I'm personally for it but everyone has the right to make decisions for themselves.
ohhhhhthehorror
Well-known member
I plan on not having kids. The reason is because I worked very hard to get a college degree and spent a lot of money on it and I do not plan on wasting it. I know that may sound selfish or like it wouldn't have to be that way, but in my eyes it would have to be. I have been working in the Theatre industry for 8 years. The hours are irregular and long and there is a lot of travel involved. There is no way I could keep my career and have children.
I have always made it very clear to anyone I have been involved with (since the age of 16 even, haha) that I did not have any interest in having chidren right off the bat just in case things got serious I wouldn't want it to come as a shock.
There is just so much I want to do with my life and children do not fit into the picture.
The number one thing that annoys me is when I tell people I don't want kids and they ALWAYS say "Oh, you'll change your mind some day."
I HATE THAT. It's my mind and it's pretty damn made up.
I have always made it very clear to anyone I have been involved with (since the age of 16 even, haha) that I did not have any interest in having chidren right off the bat just in case things got serious I wouldn't want it to come as a shock.
There is just so much I want to do with my life and children do not fit into the picture.
The number one thing that annoys me is when I tell people I don't want kids and they ALWAYS say "Oh, you'll change your mind some day."
I HATE THAT. It's my mind and it's pretty damn made up.
Beauty Mark
Well-known member
Quote:
My favorite is when people say it'll be different when they're your own. I think the thing I hate most about being childfree is the smugness child-wanters have over me. I never thought I was a better person for not having children (well, sometimes I do think I'm better than the girls who have children who are so ill-equipped to have them), and I don't go around voicing my opinions to strangers, telling them that they ought to be childfree. I'm not sure what's worse, strangers telling me I should have kids (for all they know, I'm an abusive murderer) or people who know me well telling me that I should have kids (they know me enough that I am perfectly able to make my own decisions.)
| The number one thing that annoys me is when I tell people I don't want kids and they ALWAYS say "Oh, you'll change your mind some day." |
My favorite is when people say it'll be different when they're your own. I think the thing I hate most about being childfree is the smugness child-wanters have over me. I never thought I was a better person for not having children (well, sometimes I do think I'm better than the girls who have children who are so ill-equipped to have them), and I don't go around voicing my opinions to strangers, telling them that they ought to be childfree. I'm not sure what's worse, strangers telling me I should have kids (for all they know, I'm an abusive murderer) or people who know me well telling me that I should have kids (they know me enough that I am perfectly able to make my own decisions.)
little teaser
Well-known member
maybe in my next life it would be nay(takeing a break) i can see some one being happy and content not haveing them there a huge responsibility i have two and even though they werent plan i now cant imagine life with out them they saved me from myself there my reality check and i have not really ever been into kids befor so i can relate to all the nayer's but haveing kids has changed me for the better they truley are a blessing!! but i can defiently say i dont want anymore
little teaser
Well-known member
Quote:
i dont think ur selfish at all what is selfish is people haveing kids and not takeing responsibility to take care and support them if there were more people with your mentality alot of kids out there wouldnt be suffering!lol
Originally Posted by ohhhhhthehorror
I plan on not having kids. The reason is because I worked very hard to get a college degree and spent a lot of money on it and I do not plan on wasting it. I know that may sound selfish or like it wouldn't have to be that way, but in my eyes it would have to be. I have been working in the Theatre industry for 8 years. The hours are irregular and long and there is a lot of travel involved. There is no way I could keep my career and have children. I have always made it very clear to anyone I have been involved with (since the age of 16 even, haha) that I did not have any interest in having chidren right off the bat just in case things got serious I wouldn't want it to come as a shock. There is just so much I want to do with my life and children do not fit into the picture. The number one thing that annoys me is when I tell people I don't want kids and they ALWAYS say "Oh, you'll change your mind some day." I HATE THAT. It's my mind and it's pretty damn made up. |
i dont think ur selfish at all what is selfish is people haveing kids and not takeing responsibility to take care and support them if there were more people with your mentality alot of kids out there wouldnt be suffering!lol
DaizyDeath
Well-known member
People need to really think about what their doing before they have children and adopt children if your not 200% shure you want a child and can love it no matter what then dont hurt a child beacuse you want to be selfish.
