Did you breastfeed? If so, for how long?

[Caramel_QT]

Quote:

Originally Posted by SkylarV217 I did not breast feed b/c no one wanted me to my mother kept talking about how I wouldn't do that b/c she couldn't do it and went out and bought a ton of high priced bottles and formulas. My DH just didn't want me to b/c he was not informed about it and everyone else had their own opinions. I was pressured not to. In the end its something that I completely regretted.

 

[Kuuipo]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ratmist So I'm settling a bit more into the idea of becoming a mother soon. I'm 18 weeks pregnant and I've started feeling a little fleshy butterfly in my centre moving around. It's definitely not gas, so I assume it's the baby. One of the things I'm thinking about is breastfeeding. I'm curious if Specktra Mothers breastfed, and if so, what their experiences were. I've read a lot about how some women have a hard time with it. My mother tried to breastfeed but found it was too painful. She is a nurse so it's not like she didn't know what she was doing, but she said she had to give it up because she wasn't producing enough milk for either my brother or me, and it hurt so badly. (Apparently I just wanted to bite her, no matter what she tried.)

They don't teach nurses how to breastfeed, so maybe your mom did not know exactly what she was doing.
I teach breastfeeding and latching to new mothers (I work Post partem and women's oncology). Any woman, even a woman in her 80's who had a hysterectomy can breastfeed-even babies who are not hers. Any woman who doesn't have brain cancer or extensive surgery on her breasts can lactate, she may have to work harder and buy a pump and pump for 20 minutes every three hours, but the milk will come, and technique can be learned.
Get some books and videos. The best way is to hold the breast with one hand like a hamburger and get as much as you can into the baby's mouth-not just the nipple, the whole she bang. Breast feed 15 minutes on each side. When you finish, express a tiny bit of milk, wash with a warm, clean towel and apply lanolin. (Lanisoh is the best, and its baby safe. I use it on my lips) Lanolin will keep the nipples and areola soft and pretty.
Warm packs also help the milk to flow. Nipples hurt when the babies suck them only, they have to have more than just the nipple in their mouth.
Remember breast is best, its a ton cheaper, it is better for the immune system, it tones YOUR uterus, it gets you in bikini shape faster.
If you want to share feedings with your partner, or store your milk (up to three months in a deep freeze, two days in thefridge) get a pump. Modella makes the best pumps IMO. Breast feeding will not make your breasts sag either. That is an old wives tale.

Newborns feed every three hours, around the clock. They start sticking thir toungues out, turning their heads and making little sucky faces. Its good to start pumping before you give birth because it takes like 4 days for real milk to come in, colostrum (it is high in protein) will come in first.

 

[Obreathemykiss]

This is pretty much off topic...but congrats to you! I am not a mother, hopefully one day I will be. Anyway, I have read studies where massaging your baby can help it digest its food more efficently and maintain a healthier weight. It also helps the baby with cognitive development. I'm not sure how true it is, but I also read that your baby knows its mother's smell very shortly after birth. In any event, I wish you and baby the best of luck. Don't worry, you'll figure out what is best for you and baby

 

[pat]

I'm not a mother, but my aunt is still breast feeding her 3 year old son. It's a bit strange to everyone in the family, especially me. He eats like a 10 year old, and still breast feeds. She hasn't transition him from regular milk either, he gags at the taste of regular milk. lol... We'll be out in public and you just see him going inside his mothers shirt like it's nothing. It's funny and disturbing at the same time. haha... Everyone from teachers, family members, and some doctors have asked her to stop (the baby is a bit obese now for his age), but I don't think she wants to. It's her decision, so what ever makes her happy, makes her happy.

I don't mean to offend anyone but....
I'm not saying that it's bad to breast feed your child, but I think that a 3 year old is too old to feed from the breast. Maybe if the mother puts it in the bottle, that fine, but I guess it's just me... haha...

 

[panda0410]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Caramel_QT Do they still have hospital nurseries? I mean, for healthy, full-term babies?

Not sure about overseas but over here some of the private hospitals still do - and yes some of the babies still spend overnights there - these woman are paying $ for that assistance I guess its what they expect. No different to hiring a nanny in the home. Not my cup of tea and I certainly dont advocate overnight stays, but some women want that, and again its their RIGHT to make that decision.

The (newer) public hopsitals here dont have "nurseries" per say except NICU which is there for obvious reasons, but if baby has been very unsettled or mum isnt coping then baby will sometimes spend an hour or two with nurse - nurses can offer assistance there and its not unreasonable to ask for that help in the first few days either.


patty0411 - LOL - this is such a controversial debate! I once saw a woman in my area sitting at a bus stop breastfeeding her (approx~) 5 yo son... yikes.... Its ILLEGAL to discriminate against women breastfeeding in public in Australia and you can be fined up to $40,000 or spend 3 months in prison (extreme penalty) if you do!!

 

[lovely333]

I wasn't trying to offend or pressure anyone by saying make sure your infant is satisfied before sending it to the nursery. But many times a mother will feed an infant for ten minutes and tell you they are done and they don't want the baby for 4 hours. Then the infant goes back to the nursery and they scream all night because they are hungry. A hungry baby is a unhappy baby. Our hospital will give parents the option of rooming with the baby, sending it to the nursery for the night or bringing the baby back out when they are hungry. All of our nurses have some type of breastfeeding training it is required.

 

[Caramel_QT]

Quote:

Originally Posted by patty0411 I don't mean to offend anyone but.... I'm not saying that it's bad to breast feed your child, but I think that a 3 year old is too old to feed from the breast. Maybe if the mother puts it in the bottle, that fine, but I guess it's just me... haha...

I'm def not offended, more annoyed at the lack of tolerance for a nursing mother and child. If a child is "too old" to nurse at the breast, than they are certainly too old for a bottle, IMO. I don't see where it would make sense to put breast milk into a bottle for a 3 year old. I'm nursing a 19 month old, and this is not my first time nursing a toddler either, I have gotten my share of "oh he's still doing that???". Um...yeah. Today's society doesn't accept breastfeeding, especially breastfeeding past what has been deemed an "appropriate" age, when in fact, the World Health Organization recommends nursing for *at least* two years. The world average age of weaning in about 4.5 years, of course North Americans are waaaay below that.

I assure you, that you needn't worry about your Aunt's son. He is a normal child display normal nursing behavior. He isn't "strange" for trying to nurse, just normal. Your aunt may need to set boundaries with him, since he is older and let him know that he can wait until a more convenient time or place to nuse. It's all apart of the growing and weaning process - he will not nurse forever, I assure you. Two, or three or four years in the grand scheme of a lifetime is so short, why rush?

Every mother has to decide how long she wants to nurse her baby without feeling pressure from society making her feel she should wean before she or her child is ready. There is NO evidence to suggest that extended or sustained nursing is harmful, in fact it is quite the opposite. It is a normal, healthy, relationship between and mother and her child.

 

[MACa6325xi]

I nursed all four of my kids and I had to stop nursing my oldest daughter because she had teeth and she would bite the hell out of me. I decided at that point that this kid needed a damn cup to drink out of and I would be a fool to let her keep biting me.

 

[ratmist]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kuuipo They don't teach nurses how to breastfeed, so maybe your mom did not know exactly what she was doing.

She was, and she did, and it didn't work for her.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kuuipo I teach breastfeeding and latching to new mothers (I work Post partem and women's oncology). Any woman, even a woman in her 80's who had a hysterectomy can breastfeed-even babies who are not hers. Any woman who doesn't have brain cancer or extensive surgery on her breasts can lactate, she may have to work harder and buy a pump and pump for 20 minutes every three hours, but the milk will come, and technique can be learned.

Right. Problem is, I've spoken with and read about a lot of women for whom this was not the case. I'm not saying that breastfeeding is impossible. I'm just saying that it isn't possible for some women, and I find it frustrating that the literature is so pro-breastfeeding that it actually makes women feel like failures when they find they are unable to do it.

I'm just steeling myself in case I can't do it. There's also the fact that I'm quite possessive of my body - I can't wait until this kid is out of me - and I'm not sure I want to share it again with the breastfeeding. That may be an unpopular thing to say, but I'm being honest. With the work schedule and workplace I will have, breastpumping may not be an option.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kuuipo Get some books and videos. The best way is to hold the breast with one hand like a hamburger and get as much as you can into the baby's mouth-not just the nipple, the whole she bang. Breast feed 15 minutes on each side. When you finish, express a tiny bit of milk, wash with a warm, clean towel and apply lanolin. (Lanisoh is the best, and its baby safe. I use it on my lips) Lanolin will keep the nipples and areola soft and pretty. Warm packs also help the milk to flow. Nipples hurt when the babies suck them only, they have to have more than just the nipple in their mouth. Remember breast is best, its a ton cheaper, it is better for the immune system, it tones YOUR uterus, it gets you in bikini shape faster. If you want to share feedings with your partner, or store your milk (up to three months in a deep freeze, two days in thefridge) get a pump. Modella makes the best pumps IMO. Breast feeding will not make your breasts sag either. That is an old wives tale. Newborns feed every three hours, around the clock. They start sticking thir toungues out, turning their heads and making little sucky faces. Its good to start pumping before you give birth because it takes like 4 days for real milk to come in, colostrum (it is high in protein) will come in first.

Thanks for the info. I've got lots of books and information about this, and everything you say corresponds with the literature I have.

I don't believe that breast is best, though. I get really tired of that statement, sorry to say. It isn't best if the mother isn't happy breastfeeding, if she can't do it because of work problems, etc. Saying, "Breast is best" just ends up being a guilt trip for those women - and I have a feeling I may end up being one of those women, so I kinda have to protect myself from that.

 

[Caramel_QT]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ratmist She was, and she did, and it didn't work for her. Right. Problem is, I've spoken with and read about a lot of women for whom this was not the case. I'm not saying that breastfeeding is impossible. I'm just saying that it isn't possible for some women, and I find it frustrating that the literature is so pro-breastfeeding that it actually makes women feel like failures when they find they are unable to do it. I'm just steeling myself in case I can't do it. There's also the fact that I'm quite possessive of my body - I can't wait until this kid is out of me - and I'm not sure I want to share it again with the breastfeeding. That may be an unpopular thing to say, but I'm being honest. With the work schedule and workplace I will have, breastpumping may not be an option. Thanks for the info. I've got lots of books and information about this, and everything you say corresponds with the literature I have. I don't believe that breast is best, though. I get really tired of that statement, sorry to say. It isn't best if the mother isn't happy breastfeeding, if she can't do it because of work problems, etc. Saying, "Breast is best" just ends up being a guilt trip for those women - and I have a feeling I may end up being one of those women, so I kinda have to protect myself from that.

It is absolutely your right to breastfeed or not. This is such a hot topic on mommy boards - they usually get very heated and ugly. I am not a breastfeeding

, however, I agree the statement "breast is best" can be annoying especially to mums who are having a difficult time with breastfeeding. Also, because it doesn't encompass *why* it is the best, but I don't believe it's meant to be a guilt trip. Who needs to guilt trip mums going through a hellish time with the whole breastmilk vs formula issue? That just wouldn't be productive, IMO...

The fact of the matter is breastmilk IS what is best for your baby. May not be for the mom's lifestyle, career etc, but it is certainly best for the baby. Artificial baby milk, aka formula is not the best. You can read that on a can of Similac, Nestle, Enfamil etc. etc.

I totally understand about steeling yourself in case you can't do it. We hear so many horror stories of women trying to breastfeed. In my opinion, it may be a better idea to surround yourself with women who've been there and triumphed through breastfeeding trials. I have been fortunate to have never dealt with anything, much more than some engorgement when the milk first comes in, but I know that there is TONS of people who want to see you succeed in breastfeeding. Think positive - you CAN do it!

All the best to you!

 

[user79]

I haven't had any children yet, but if and when I do, I def want to breastfeed if I can, because it is so important for the child's entire health and immune system. A lot of the immune system and what not is developed in that very early stage of life, and breastfeeding plays a big part in that.

 

[Shimmer]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Caramel_QT It is absolutely your right to breastfeed or not. This is such a hot topic on mommy boards - they usually get very heated and ugly. I am not a breastfeeding , however, I agree the statement "breast is best" can be annoying especially to mums who are having a difficult time with breastfeeding. Also, because it doesn't encompass *why* it is the best, but I don't believe it's meant to be a guilt trip. Who needs to guilt trip mums going through a hellish time with the whole breastmilk vs formula issue? That just wouldn't be productive, IMO... The fact of the matter is breastmilk IS what is best for your baby. May not be for the mom's lifestyle, career etc, but it is certainly best for the baby. Artificial baby milk, aka formula is not the best. You can read that on a can of Similac, Nestle, Enfamil etc. etc. I totally understand about steeling yourself in case you can't do it. We hear so many horror stories of women trying to breastfeed. In my opinion, it may be a better idea to surround yourself with women who've been there and triumphed through breastfeeding trials. I have been fortunate to have never dealt with anything, much more than some engorgement when the milk first comes in, but I know that there is TONS of people who want to see you succeed in breastfeeding. Think positive - you CAN do it! All the best to you!

See the thing is, some women just don't want to breast feed. And, there's nothing wrong with that. They're not selfish, they're not bad mothers, they're not condemned to a lifetime of sickly children...it's really okay to not want to breastfeed, despite the OVERWHELMING pressure from lactation nurses in the hospital. NO mother should be made to feel guilty when she says "No, I don't want to breast feed. I know what the literature says, and I'm find with my decision." Unfortunately, that happens frequently, and that's sad.

My problem with kids who are 3+ years of age & breastfeeding is that the children I've encountered in that situation generally have serious boundary issues, and really don't understand the idea that You are You, and I am Me, and We are together but We are not One. They climb all over mommy, daddy, and anyone else in the room with little understanding for "No. Don't do that, I don't like it..." and when it IS repeated to them, they continue anyway.

Perhaps the two aren't related, but every preschool age child I've ever met had serious boundary issues.

 

[elegant-one]

I breastfed our son for a year. There definitely is an adjustment period, but I felt it was worth it for any extra benefit.

But, I really don't understand why anyone would argue over this? If a mother doesn't want to, or can't...that shouldn't matter to anyone else. I wasn't breastfed at all & it didn't affect me.

 

[MACa6325xi]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ratmist So I'm settling a bit more into the idea of becoming a mother soon. I'm 18 weeks pregnant and I've started feeling a little fleshy butterfly in my centre moving around. It's definitely not gas, so I assume it's the baby. One of the things I'm thinking about is breastfeeding. I'm curious if Specktra Mothers breastfed, and if so, what their experiences were. I've read a lot about how some women have a hard time with it. My mother tried to breastfeed but found it was too painful. She is a nurse so it's not like she didn't know what she was doing, but she said she had to give it up because she wasn't producing enough milk for either my brother or me, and it hurt so badly. (Apparently I just wanted to bite her, no matter what she tried.)

Congratulations on your pregnancy!!!! At this point in your pregnancy, I would not be too concerned about breast feeding. The main thing right now is staying healthy, eating properly, resting and not worrying yourself about anything except having a healthy baby. When that time comes to think about breast feeding give it a try. If it doesn't work out, don't worry about it. My mother didn't breast feed me and I think I turned out okay. I nursed all four of my kids, but I would give them a bottle of formula when my breasts were sore or I just didn't feel like nursing. There were times when I could barely take a shower, let alone nurse. It was nice to be able to give a bottle. I guess I could have pumped milk, but it I found it to be quite painful and I was too cheap to rent a good pump. This is your time, your pregnancy and your baby. You and the father will have to make these types of decisions and do what it best for the both of you and your baby!!!!!!

 

[Girl about town]

I have to say i knew from the outset that i would never breastfeed i have always never wanted to do it, and i have been shot down in flames for it many times!! but to be honest i just never wanted to, i have major body hang ups as well which meant i just avoided it, my son is very healthy though xxx

 

[Girl about town]

See the thing is, some women just don't want to breast feed. And, there's nothing wrong with that. They're not selfish, they're not bad mothers, they're not condemned to a lifetime of sickly children...it's really okay to not want to breastfeed, despite the OVERWHELMING pressure from lactation nurses in the hospital. NO mother should be made to feel guilty when she says "No, I don't want to breast feed. I know what the literature says, and I'm find with my decision." Unfortunately, that happens frequently, and that's sad.(/quote)


Spot on!!! whenever i say i didn't brest feed people assume i couldn't do it, when in fact i just didn't want to, people also assume im 'not the maternal type' nope i love my son just breast feeding isn't for me x

 

[Girl about town]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ratmist I don't believe that breast is best, though. I get really tired of that statement, sorry to say. It isn't best if the mother isn't happy breastfeeding, if she can't do it because of work problems, etc. Saying, "Breast is best" just ends up being a guilt trip for those women - and I have a feeling I may end up being one of those women, so I kinda have to protect myself from that.

I agree breast is beneficial for baby, but the phrase Breast is best really starts to annoy me sometimes, its is only best if its best for the mother, its not best for the baby to have a depressed, worn out mother.I went back to work when my son was a few months old and don't think i could have sustained breast feeding even if i wanted to! I have never felt guilty about it, i admire people that do it though!! x

 

[Caramel_QT]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shimmer See the thing is, some women just don't want to breast feed. And, there's nothing wrong with that. They're not selfish, they're not bad mothers, they're not condemned to a lifetime of sickly children...it's really okay to not want to breastfeed, despite the OVERWHELMING pressure from lactation nurses in the hospital. NO mother should be made to feel guilty when she says "No, I don't want to breast feed. I know what the literature says, and I'm find with my decision." Unfortunately, that happens frequently, and that's sad. My problem with kids who are 3+ years of age & breastfeeding is that the children I've encountered in that situation generally have serious boundary issues, and really don't understand the idea that You are You, and I am Me, and We are together but We are not One. They climb all over mommy, daddy, and anyone else in the room with little understanding for "No. Don't do that, I don't like it..." and when it IS repeated to them, they continue anyway. Perhaps the two aren't related, but every preschool age child I've ever met had serious boundary issues.

Some women just don't want to breastfeed is absolutely correct. As I said, it is their right to choose BUT there are risks associated with not breastfeeding and health professionals have an obligation to inform mothers of those risks. It's all about making an informed decision - after that it's up to mother - no doubt about it.

With regards to 3+ aged kids who are still nursing having boundary issues, I would put forth that I think that is an issue with some kids in general, regardless of whether or not they still breastfeed. Some 3+ year olds just haven't gotten the concept of what's mine is mine and what's yours is yours. Also, a mother who has chosen to nurse for this long, obviously has decided to "share" herself in this way with her child, and that is her choice and nobodies business. Three year olds are still really young, not little adults who have all gotten the concept of personal space, etc. Mommy is their whole world, and some may not have come to the realization yet, that they are separate from their moms (or dad or grandma or what-have-you).

I find it frustrating that extended breastfeeding gets blamed for a lot of totally normal childhood behaviors.

Some folks feel uncomfy at the sight or thought of a nursing child who walks and talks, but wouldn't bat an eye at one with a bottle or a pacifier hanging out of their mouth...

We live in a society that didn't grow up with breastfeeding as a norm. We see breasts as a primarily sexual thing and when older kids nurse, we get all heeby jeebie...

 

[Shimmer]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Caramel_QT Some folks feel uncomfy at the sight or thought of a nursing child who walks and talks, but wouldn't bat an eye at one with a bottle or a pacifier hanging out of their mouth...

Oh yes I do. A child older than a year who's sucking a bottle and carrying a binky angers the hell out of me...at the child's parents. I believe in letting kids be kids but I also believe in ushering along their development at a reasonable pace.

 

[Caramel_QT]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shimmer Oh yes I do. A child older than a year who's sucking a bottle and carrying a binky angers the hell out of me...at the child's parents. I believe in letting kids be kids but I also believe in ushering along their development at a reasonable pace.

Absolutely.