Do other females act hostile towards you (aka, why do girls hate me)?

[thewickedstyle]

I'm so upset right now.

I got promoted at work, it is all women and of course I've gotten a lot of attitude and snarky comments. At two recent meetings, people have said stuff right to my face in front of everyone. I notice a lot of staring and I know people talk behind my back about me. My company is big and you have to work hard to get noticed; we are being ranked in April and I want to come in high but it seems like being ambitious leads to everyone below you putting you down and being rude. I know I'm a good worker and why does being confident and ambitious equal being a bitch?????

I get a lot of comments about being dressed up or "looking pretty" (said in a negative way) and I feel like people judge me so fast. I overcompensate by acting unaffected and self-assured and it probably puts people off even more.

I'm going back to school for work... I went to my first class today in 7 years and I was so excited to be back in college. I went straight from work and I looked very cute, dammit! When I opened the door to the classroom a girl turned and stared at me for a few seconds, then started whispering to her friends. They were all staring towards me and whispering when I sat down. Of course the professor put me with them for group work and they wouldn't talk to me at all. How do you put people off when you haven't even spoken yet?

I guess I'm posting this because I know the ladies on here have an interest in looking and dressing their best, and I've heard people say that they get attitudes from other girls, or that (like the MAC MAs, for example) they seem to intimidate other people. I'm just wondering, do you think it's the way you dress, your overall appearance, your attitude, your confidence... what? Why do people act like that, how do you feel, and what do you do about it?

Are women just jealous and insecure around people who are ambitious and put together... or am I really just too bitchy to associate with other humans?

 

[chocolategoddes]

Yes, females seem to be naturally bitchy, emotional, and jealous. I usually don't notice when girls talk bout me because i'm just kinda chill and i dn't like to get involved in the cattiness. But I hear the things they have to say.You're not alone.

 

[Sushi.]

Ive gotten the same way and i honestly cant stand it either.

I once hung out with 3 friends and this girl who was a friend of one of my friends who i had never met. At the end of the night she hugged everyone and said it was nice meeting them, then looked at me and walked away. I was like...oookkkaaayy. its not like i really wanted a hug from this girl, but it just seemed weird. My friend noticed and asked the friend of this girl what her problem was. and she replied saying she did'nt like me cause i "look hard to get along with"
i was so shocked. I mean what do i wear that makes me look hard to get along with? i dont get it.

As for dressing up, i know i have an aunt that constantly gets trashed by the other snotty aunts in my family. "how can she afford to dress like that" honestly its pure jealousy. If you do bad in life, people look down upon you, if you excel in life people dont like you cause your doing better then they are. Ive gotten alot of rude comments because my mom makes a decent wage. "i wish i was as rich as you, blah blah blah" as if your supposed to feel bad because you've worked hard (in this case my mom has worked hard) to get to where you are.

Ok i know im yaddering on but my point is, it seems like it does'nt matter what you do, people always need to find a way to be rude. In your situation, im almost positive these people are just jealous of you. So just keep your chin up, keep doing well and dont let it bother you. As an emotional person i know it is extremly hard to not let it bother you, but try to make a point of it.

Live life for you, and dont let the little jealous bitches pull you down, cause they are truely not worth it.

 

[pumpkincat210]

To this day i know girls that are really two faced. It's just jealousy and its worse for them if you look put together. It's just my "thing" to like makeup and fashion. I know this one girl that flirts with my husband in front of me. She gets so frustrated when he doesn't respond to her. She is nice to my face, but i hear from other people how she doesn't even come around me because she feels so jealous. She tries to be sexy and it just comes off as funny.
I run off alot of girls for some reason. Maybe they are intimidated or I send off a get away vibe(that i swear i don't intentionally), some are just jealous.
I don't talk behind people's backs unless they are trashing me. I've been known to get jealous on occasion, but I try my hardest to push it away because it so damn ugly.

 

[ilurvemakeup]

I have a hard time working with an all female staff. I had the worse experience with a company once. Everyone had 'clicks' as if it was HS. No matter how professional I tried to be, they always seemed to find ways to be catty >_< I think appearance is part of it, but most of it is because some girls are just straight up 2 faced bitches. I've been singled out once for being the only Asian girl within the work staff... yeah I quit that pos job!

 

[Babylard]

HEY LURVE nice seeing you here <3 i hope the current job is much more friendlier!

yeah some chicks are just ewwww... from my experience, they like to feel powerful and above you. girls just hate to be below another girl...

*shrugs* however, im a loner so im probably not valid on this one hahhaha

 

[CantAffordMAC]

I always get attitude from females. I am very friendly and polite when I meet anyone...I smile. I'm not reserved or shy or bitchy at all. But I still get rude looks, attitudes, stares, eye rolls. Girls have looked at me when i walked past and laughed. they have done all kinds of things like that. But I never understood why.

Girls just suck. They are very catty and petty and insecure and jealous and ridiculous.

 

[Jacq-i]

I've had my battles as well... For a while I was a double-major and girls would just ignore me. Or laugh/talk/snicker when it was my turn to present in class.

My bf thought it jealousy of looks and skills. I don't know what it was...

There was a girl that was friends with one of my good friends. Once my friend graduated and moved away, that other girl didn't even acknowledge my existence.

I'd wave, she'd turn like she didn't see me. In an elevator [just the two of us were in there] I said "Well... Happy Thanksgiving! Have a nice break!!" and she just turned away from me and stormed out of the elevator.

Anyway, my guess is that you are a 'threat' to them because you're intimidating. Their loss.

 

[SparklingWaves]

I think some girls or ladies are jealous of attractive females. However, not all women will act scornful to attractive females.

Sometimes, women may presume an attractive female is stuck up. That's not always the case. I have known many attractive females that didn't even know how attractive they really were. They had just as many insecurities as anyone else.

I would just be myself. If they are mean to you, I would tell them that their behavior is hurtful.

 

[Shimmer]

Quote:

Originally Posted by SparklingWaves If they are mean to you, I would tell them that their behavior is hurtful.

Never in a million years would I do this.
Females like the ones she's describing sense weakness and feed off of it.

 

[purrtykitty]

Females really seem to like to destroy each other in the business world. My friend is a lawyer and the other day, one of the other lawyers in her office told her she dressed like she was in high school! Seriously, I don't know any high schoolers that dress the way she does...she really likes the store Anthropologie and wears a lot of skirts and things in colors, but she doesn't have her tits and ass hanging out, so what is the big deal?!

I thought that perhaps once I graduated college that all cattiness would stop, but it seems to have only gotten worse. I don't get it...women complain about how hard it is to get ahead because of the "glass ceiling", but once we do get ahead, we have to deal with other women trying to pull us back. Seriously ladies...stop sabotaging each other!!

 

[Simply Elegant]

I think some of it is jealousy and maybe not wanting to work harder because they'll be thought of as a bitch if they get ahead and her other friends aren't as successful.

I've experienced this too. I love fashion and makeup and I've been told that I look bitchy and put together and because of that I'm intimidating and pretty much a bitch, even when they said I don't actually act like one.

I think some girls just need to get rid of the stereotype of attractive girls being bitches and to be more encouraging and less judgmental.

 

[van_dudette]

I am not saying this is you, I am just offering this story up as a view from the other side. Its at least something to think about, even if you aren't like this.

My boyfriend works with this girl who is a *huge* flirt and dresses like a tart and she cannot understand why women hate her. Shes dim and she loves attention so she wears as little clothing as possible, is touchy feely, and of course does the stereotypical attention-grabbing lesbian touching, kissing, and dirty dancing in public.

Worst of all she has *no* boundaries. It doesn't matter if its someone's boyfriend or what. She'll sit on their lap, speak suggestively, etc. She thinks its funny I guess.

Her myspace and facebook have suggestive pictures of her cleavage (not that she really has any. She literally pushes up her boobs with her hands to the camera. SHe has to work for it). A lot of them also involve her dancing on strip poles in night clubs.

She makes women feel threatened. Its highly inappropriate. I don't think its the other women's fault. Its her ignorance. At least, in this case.

 

[SparklingWaves]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shimmer Never in a million years would I do this. Females like the ones she's describing sense weakness and feed off of it.

I have been treated crossly and I chose to confront the behavior of the individual or individuals. It is discussed openly and usually the person or persons were under some misunderstanding or other ill guided issue. In all the cases, the setting became friendly and cordial thereafter.

It's never a weakness to seek understanding and open communication.

Fear and hatred go hand and hand. Knowledge & awareness open gates.

I don't see these females or any other female as someone that has any power over me, nor do I see myself over them. We are equals. I see them as my sisters that are living in darkness of their own inner fears. If I open their eyes to their darkness, I have made made another connection to a fellow human spirit. The risk is always worth the work. I would do it over an over again a million times over.

 

[n_c]

Haters...nuff said.

 

[Shimmer]

Quote:

Originally Posted by SparklingWaves I have been treated crossly and I chose to confront the behavior of the individual or individuals. It is discussed openly and usually the person or persons were under some misunderstanding or other ill guided issue. In all the cases, the setting became friendly and cordial thereafter. It's never a weakness to seek understanding and open communication. Fear and hatred go hand and hand. Knowledge & awareness open gates. I don't see these females or any other female as someone that has any power over me, nor do I see myself over them. We are equals. I see them as my sisters that are living in darkness of their own inner fears. If I open their eyes to their darkness, I have made made another connection to a fellow human spirit. The risk is always worth the work. I would do it over an over again a million times over.

I'm talking about snarky, common, lemming females. I'm not talking about mature women who were initially under the wrong impression but are willing to have that idea corrected.

I don't view other women as a threat, nor do I view them as 'sisters' in this world. I view them as people. If a woman chooses to be threatened by me, that's perfectly alright and honestly on her. I'm not going to attempt to fix it, and honestly, my personality is quite dismissive, so it's not unlikely I'd ever do more than twitch my nose in amusement then forget her.

 

[SparklingWaves]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shimmer I'm talking about snarky, common, lemming females. I'm not talking about mature women who were initially under the wrong impression but are willing to have that idea corrected. I don't view other women as a threat, nor do I view them as 'sisters' in this world. I view them as people. If a woman chooses to be threatened by me, that's perfectly alright and honestly on her. I'm not going to attempt to fix it, and honestly, my personality is quite dismissive, so it's not unlikely I'd ever do more than twitch my nose in amusement then forget her.

Oh, I totally understand what you are saying here. I know those that wish only harm to me and my family. I am a spiritual person and I am not in the quote to quote religious sec. So, when I say they are my sisters, I mean in a spiritual context. In that same sense, there are those that are full of negative energy. I wish well to them, but I have to steer totally clear of them.

 

[Shimmer]

i've never understood the 'sisterhood' thing. I'm not sure why except maybe that I didn't have any sisters until I was far too old to relate to her. Hm. Not sure. I'm just not the type of person who feels any kinship to another without a history there.

 

[V15U4L_3RR0R]

Sounds liek they are just jealous an insecure of you and your promotion.

I don't get along with women for all the reasons mentioned int his thread. I only have one or two female friends and all the rest are men.

 

[Kalico]

I've had this problem. I'm really shy and it's just gotten worse over the years. I was never teased or bullied in school (and had NO problem having girl friends), but after high school I've been bombarded by it. It's really bad. I've been run out of jobs by queen bee bitches and just generally find it hard to get to know other girls. My shyness probably has a lot to do with it. But, I'm also learning that being shy is what's getting me eaten alive. When they sense weakness... boy, are you screwed.

I don't dress or act like a tart at all. Sweaters and jeans or dress pants. No heels.

Girls = so much drama, I'm beginning to think. It's sad that so many can't look past their own insecurities and that it's always a comparison game.

But I've heard that the better looking you are, the harder you have to prove to people that you aren't snobby.

Just wanted to add, a big part of it is their maturity level as well. Of course.