How jealous are you and what would you consider cheating?

[xmrsvindieselx]

I used to get jealous, until I realize there is no reason to be. If i can't trust him, either I have a problem, or he is just not worth my time.Right now I'm single, but when I was in a relationship, we both knew we could trust each other and not have to worry about each other if we went out w/ friends.

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It kills me to think that he would ever look at another female and think "damn she looks good"

For me, that is just human nature. Yeah he may think that girl that just walked by him is sexy, but is he gonna throw her over the table right there? NO. he is coming home to you.

 

[NutMeg]

Just to clarify. Do I like the idea of someone flirting with my boyfriend? Not at all. Is our relationship something that can be changed by the actions of some random drunk girl in a bar? Not even a little bit. He's not into it, and it's his actions and emotions that matter to me.

 

[frocher]

.....

 

[kimmy]

i get a little jealous sometimes, but not too terribly so...and i refuse to voice it in a relationship haha.

i consider anything in an outside relationship you lie about to be cheating. personally, if my boyfriend or husband wanted to try something with someone else...i don't think i'd mind, so long as he was honest about it and told me beforehand...and as long as he afforded me that same thing. but the minute he starts lying about who he's with or what he's doing with them, he qualifies as a dog and his ass it out the door.

 

[AmberLilith]

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Originally Posted by V15U4L_3RR0R ....Me and him will be walking around town and we'll both be saying things like "Cor look at the tits on that one" or "He's got a nice bum" etc so we don't mind admiring other people infront of each other and quite often we'll be checking outt he same person anyway lmao. I'm lucky to have someone that I can do that with. Would he let me sleep with another girl? Yes but again only if he could join in a bit.

Sounds like us, we have similar taste in women! (Except for my partner's current girlfriend, i think she's ugly! lol)

 

[MakeupMuffin]

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Originally Posted by Evey I used to be an EXTREMELY jealous person but, I think it was mainly because my ex boyfriend would give me reason to be. I haven't felt threatened since I've been with my husband. He just has never given me reason to be jealous or to feel insecure about myself. Sure he has his girlfriends that he talks to on a regular basis but I don't mind because he hasn't given me reason to think that it's anything besides a friendship. As for him, he's not a jealous person at all. I think when you're OVERLY jealous it tends to spoil the relationship and honestly it's not healthy at all.

That's it! The reason to be jealous...I've never ever had a jealous boyfriend. ALl my friends have and have said how lucky I am. I used to think, what's wrong with me, doesn't he care enough to get jealous? But it really came down to it being I never gave them a reason to be jealous!

 

[MakeupMuffin]

I've been with my bf for over a year and I do get jealous but it depends on the girl. I always hate the ex-girlfriends always calling wanting to hangout, texting him, or once or twice had drinks and dinner together. I was livid. Mostly because he didn't tell me until after. He said I'd get mad. No shit, I was so pissed. I've seen hostesses, and others flirt with him and I don't care. It's just the exs. I hate that they don't respect me or our relationship. It's not that I don't trust him, it;s that I don't trust the girls. Every thing's better now, we talked about it all. The ex caused drama for us a few months ago now I totally hate her and they both know. It's sucks because I've never gave him a reason to be jealous.

As far as cheating, that is not tolerated. I have been looking at other men, lusting. I think if I cheat just once and no one would know it would be so hot. But I don't think I could go through with it.

 

[AmberLilith]

Shimmer: just wondered what you meant here exactly??

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Originally Posted by Shimmer I'm not sure how old some of you are, but a large part of your perspective may come from where you're at in life vs how your personality truly is.

If you mean confidence, self-esteem etc and how we're affected by our past experiences, i totally agree.

But if you're referring more to age, i don't think it's so much about a person's age.

[No offence meant, just asking for clarification!]

 

[Honey B. Fly]

strippers, pornos, mags full of naked women like playboy... him flirting or saying another girl is hot all piss me off, and i know if it was me doing any of those things he'd be mad too

i think its more hurt feelings then being jealous with me though, i believe if u love somebody ud be sick to ur stomach looking at another woman or man naked or having sex when its not in a tasteful way like a good movie (meaning not porn haha) or art

 

[Shimmer]

Quote:

Originally Posted by AmberLilith Shimmer: just wondered what you meant here exactly?? If you mean confidence, self-esteem etc and how we're affected by our past experiences, i totally agree. But if you're referring more to age, i don't think it's so much about a person's age. [No offence meant, just asking for clarification!]

Not only our past experiences, but simple maturation both emotionally and choronologically.

 

[athena123]

I'm not a jealous lady but I don't share my man. Even if I'm in love with my man, sure I'll check out the menu I'm not dead! I can still appreciate male beauty and expect my man also appreciates female beauty.

Flirting is OK as long as it doesn't cross the line.

I'm not into open marriage, relationships or whatever. If I'm with my man, I'm with my man and expect the same from him otherwise what's the point?

 

[MakeupMuffin]

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Originally Posted by Honey B. Fly strippers, pornos, mags full of naked women like playboy... him flirting or saying another girl is hot all piss me off, and i know if it was me doing any of those things he'd be mad too i think its more hurt feelings then being jealous with me though, i believe if u love somebody ud be sick to ur stomach looking at another woman or man naked or having sex when its not in a tasteful way like a good movie (meaning not porn haha) or art

I kind of get upset when he says other women are hot or what he throws around a lot, "gorgeous." He says it all too much, makes me feel like poo, though he just tells me I'm better than gorgeous. We had a talk about this last night, well, I just talked. lol It;s not soo much jealousy but more having respect for me. I wouldn't get so mad but like I said he tends to throw it around a lot.

Pornos or mags are not a problem, I like watching them and looking at them as well, with him.

 

[jazza]

Most things that have been mentioned don't, under usual circumstances, cross my mind as anything close to cheating.

Porno, mags, stripclubs, female friends, flirting, flirty texts/IMs (as long as not explicit, or anything close to reaching a point of developing a romantic or sexual relationship). I don't care as long as he doesn't lie. What I don't like are the lies.

I'm open to tolerate a lot, given the circumstances. Friendships with other girls are fine but each is open to different boundaries depending on history, or lack of, or type of personality.

& just because I trust him, doesn't mean I trust his female friends or strippers. Or his friends for that matter. I've been to a strip club, I've been on lads' night's out, I've been to a stag do. I know what happens and I know what men are capable of.

I'm not jealous, but I don't blindly trust. He on the other hand has sometimes reacted very badly to other people hitting on me, or his friends having crushes on me (he couldn't handle that at all).

I consider any sort of romantic relationship or sexual intimacy (oral, intercourse) cheating. So hypothetically that includes courting someone online.

 

[xoxprincessx0x]

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Originally Posted by MakeupMuffin I kind of get upset when he says other women are hot or what he throws around a lot, "gorgeous." He says it all too much, makes me feel like poo, though he just tells me I'm better than gorgeous. We had a talk about this last night, well, I just talked. lol It;s not soo much jealousy but more having respect for me. I wouldn't get so mad but like I said he tends to throw it around a lot. Pornos or mags are not a problem, I like watching them and looking at them as well, with him.

Totally agree!! I'm not jealous at all and I'll be the first one to sayy "damnn shes mad pretty", but sometimes he unknowingly takes it too far and keeps saying stuff about that girl but I just let him know and he stops. I know he doesn't mean to hurt my feelings. I am extremely secure in out relationship but HE is very very jealous. I feel like his jealous began to rub off on me though and I like to get mad at him for doing or saying somethintg just because i know he would do the same to me and he shouldn't be able to get away with it!!

 

[sparklingmuse]

:::*edit*:::

 

[Beauty Mark]

FWIW, acting/modeling isn't the same as pursuing a relationship with someone. It's a lot about angles, lighting, etc. It's not romantic, passionate, or hot.

I reiterate that your boyfriend/you can't control other people. Even if he weren't modeling or working among women or going to strip clubs, it's damn difficult to avoid young, pretty women. He probably goes to the grocery store, the library, some place that has women.

Your boyfriend chooses to be with you and he chooses how to respect or disrespect you. Just because males are stereotyped to be so sexual doesn't mean it's true and it doesn't make the unaccountable for any infidelity. My boyfriend and I are both still in school. I know he has classes with some very pretty girls. Sometimes he's assigned to group work with them. He chooses not to cheat on me. If he would cheat on me, it's not because some girl lured him into his web. He would've decided getting with someone else was more important than respecting me.

I want to emphasize the idea of trust. I'm getting a masters in physics, a male dominated field (out of about 12 of us, only two of us are female). Some of the guys are single. We spend countless hours together, late nights, etc. I've gone out to bars with them, they've driven me home when it's late. My boyfriend trusts me not to cheat on him. I do not have any desire to get with anyone else.

I also know women are just as likely to cheat. It all boils down to the kind of person you are. I recognize trusting someone is scary at times, but you cannot isolate or expect to isolate your SO from anyone who's attractive.

 

[lipstickandhate]

As others have said, whatever the partners in the relationship define the parameters as is fine- anything else, anything hidden, would be cheating.

Personally, I'm not open to an open relationship. I'm not sure how I would react to cheating- it would depend on the circumstances and how long we'd been together, where we are in life, kids, careers etc. At this point, since we're newly married, I would throw his ass to the curb. I'd probably be more tolerant if we had a long history and several children together.

I can tolerate mild flirting but I really don't appreciate it when its blatant or when women are fishing for compliments from my husband. He knows this and deflects it if it happens- I wouldn't ever comment to the woman usually. I did once because she was so out of line but really, my husband should have done it and regretted not doing so himself.

I would not be pleased if he were spending lots of time with a woman other than myself or his female relatives. That's just me. I don't care AT ALL about porn, strippers, or checking out other women. He knows, he understands and accepts my comfort zone. I know his boundaries and similarly respect them.

 

[kaliraksha]

We have our defined parameters and basically anything we wouldn't do in front of each other is unacceptable. I know when I'm maybe being a touch too flirty online with a guy friend and if my fiance came behind me I would feel the need to explain myself.... so, it's an easy line for me.

 

[User93]

CantAffordMAC , wow i've read your posts on the 1st page, and let me say that's exactly how i think and exactly how i see the relationship. Really, that 2 posts of yours look like if i was writing it. I aint gonna make any agreements, my boyfriends is MINE, and period. Don't talk with him, don't look at him, don't flirt with him. I can honestly say that if he will have any "good friend" girl it will be a breakup for us. I don't have any good friends guys, just classmates/neighbours, and thats it. And just like you said, thinking of him looking at other girls, or him looking at some hot chicks in internet makes me feel like crap

It really does. I feel i'm not enough for him, or whatever. Really, makes me feel like shit. And idk, i think i'm even a little paranoid lol, cause i'm always worried and scared what is he doing, if he is with some girl now or something... We have a lil bit unusual relationship, he is far away from me now :/ And once there was a story of some girl from his class asking him to go see her on a bus station as she was leaving the city, and she kissed him and he kissed her back. Makes me feel like shit still, but well, like i said, we are far away now, and at that time I couldnt ask him for much as i wasnt a legit gf i guess...I had no rights. But that days were really awful for me, i hardly ate any meals, was crying all the time etc... Now our realationship got much stronger, so i hope it will never happen again, i hope really, though for some reason i'm incredibly afraid of him cheating on me one day, i consider and flirting cheating aswell. Like CantAffordMAC said, NO flirting, no kissing, no giving rides and period. I'm good enough like a girlfriend for him not to do that.

 

[Kalico]

If he LOOKS at another girl he's dead!!!!

Just kidding. I'm single right now, but from my experiences... when I start getting jealous, that usually means he's lost my trust and the relationship is doomed anyways. Otherwise... no sleeping around, no flirting in front of me (so rude!!), no kissing, no keeping things behind my back.