How jealous are you and what would you consider cheating?

[revinn]

I'm incredibly jealous. However, I have a different view of cheating then this would suggest. I think that kissing and anything further is cheating, BUT if he is honest about it and seems sincere, then I'm more then willing to give him another chance. I know people say, "once a cheater, always a cheater," but I strongly disagree. If I slipped up, I'd want another chance too.. If he did it again however, he'd be outta there.

 

[bebs]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shimmer All I can say to any of that is I'm married not dead. I love my husband, and I'm in love with my husband, but I'll freely and fully admit that there are men and women whom I meet who I would tear UP if I weren't attached. But I am. So, it's a mental acknowledgment that there's sexual tension, and I go on. Flirting is FUN. I feel good, the person I am flirting with feels good, and we go on about our business. I'm not disrespecting my husband by flirting. I would be disrespecting my husband by hiding my flirtation. Or by becoming emotionally attached to the person I'm flirting with. On the flip side, I have no control over what my husband does when I'm not looking. I can only hope his sense of honor will keep him from doing something that will hurt me.

I totally feel this as well, I'm the same way with mine I love him, I'm in love with him and I choose to be with him.

I dont really care if he goes to the bars or dance clubs with friends or whatever, I have complete trust and faith in him and his sense of honor toward me, if I'm there or not.

I'm human, I look and I check other people out, but I don't have any emotions toward them, yes they are there and if I wasn't married.. oh yeah I would totally be there and be having a lot of fun, I know he does the same the matter is.. it can be thought about, or whatever as long as he keeps it in his pants... no issue at all with that I do it to and keep my self to the same rules.

the first time he told me about a chick.. I was like.. no you did not and I did get jealous but the more I thought about it the more I became.. well I would and do think the same, I just didn't have the nerve to say it out loud and as blunt as he did. now I dont like it, but I know he wouldn't ever go off and do those things, *shrugs* no harm

kissing... hugging... dancing.. strip clubs whatever.. heck he knows that I've seen a friend of mine naked we'll we've been together, the difference is I was upfront about it and it wasn't sexual in nature at all so he didn't care. really why should you let it bother you. I feel as though he wouldn't be with me if he really wanted to go and do those things

 

[BloodMittens]

I don't really call it jealousy. I call it a line of respect.

If my man ever decided to do anything that would be considering affectionate towards another girl (unless she's crying and he hugs her) then I have a problem with it. But at the same time, if I did the same thing, he would have a problem with it. We set our lines and boundaries on what we can and cannot do. What is considering disrespectful to one of us is most likely considered the same way by the other person.

Don't get me wrong, we flirt and have a good time with other people sometimes, and then we laugh about it afterwards. But touching another girl except in a friendly manner?

Ohhellnaw.

 

[xxManBeaterxx]

I've always told myself growing up to never be a jealous person, espeically when it comes to boyfriends and their female friends. Why? Mostly because if hes going to cheat, i better find out sooner than later, why end up in a relationship where im always suspicious of his actions?

I wouldnt care if my husband looked at porn. I know he has a *naughty* folder of other girls (porn) on his computer some where, not like hes going to go running off marrying them. Before when he did look at porn i would think i wasnt enough for him, but i started talking to him about it and it made me feel more comfortable to know his opinon and it was a justified answer lol.

He is a ladies man, since we were teenagers in highschool all the girls would talk to him about their problems and ask him to hang out with them after school and what not, but i had no problem with that. I know this sounds really crazy but if a girl came up to him and asked to sleep with him i would let him. why? well, because at the end of the day hes all mine, i have his heart and and no one else does, he could sleep with 100 girls but who does he want to love/provide/care/respect and spend the rest of his life with? Me... I trust him enough to lock him up in a room with the hottest girl on earth and wouldnt bother to question him when he left that room. IDK maybe im crazy but i dont think sex or causal flirting with other girls is a huge deal, to a certain extent of course, idk maybe i lost my mind. I've told him this before, and as far as i know he has been a respectable guy and never did it with another girl.

 

[aimerbijoux]

Quote:

Originally Posted by SparklingWaves My husband & I are possessive of each other. I am his and he is mine period. Everything is very simple. Jealously is there to a degree, but not severe. I don't say, "You can't do this or that." He doesn't try to control me. We do so much together too. We love to be together. I don't know how to answer. I think people who know us see how close we are and don't interfere. I have seen males and females flirt with him, but he seems oblivious to it. It amazes me. I will tell him, "Didn't you see that woman stick out her chest as much as she could by the pool table for you?" He will just yawn and say, "No." He will notice if a man is coming on to me. He will walk up and put his hand on the man shoulder and say, "That's my wife pal." If I don't go places with him, he gets upset. He really wants me to go everywhere with him. That really makes me feel great.

You just described my relationship EXACTLY. My bf and I don't say, ok here's what you cannot do... we just know. For example, I don't interract with other guys and I have no male friends because I know it would hurt him and frankly I don't want or need guy friends, especially if it would hurt my bf. He knows having female friends and going out would bother me which is why he doesn't have any female friends. He has some guy friends but he prefers to spend all of his free time with me, so they rarely even go out. Neither of us want to go anywhere questionable (like a lounge, club, or party) without the other. We do trust each other completely but we just feel more comfortable if we are together.

As for flirting and "flings" .. HELL NO!! I wouldn't tolerate flirting... or kissing... or anything of THAT nature. I told him if he's interested in 3somes he better get that fantasy out of his mind because that's a big NO NO for me. He said he doesn't ever want a 3some but he did admit that he thinks girl on girl action is hot. I told him he can forget that too and he said good because he would be hurt even if I cheated on him with a girl (not happening, ever).

So yeah although other couples have a very open relationship where they don't see flirting and 3somes and all that as cheating, I do see it as cheating. It means some interest is involved and that would hurt if I knew my guy was into another girl.

Quote:

NO flirting, no kissing, no giving rides and period. I'm good enough like a girlfriend for him not to do that.

AGREED!!!

 

[fafinette21]

I'm pretty jealous but for me the jealousy isn't about not trusting my bf it's that I don't trust everyone ELSE.
And cheating is any connection formed, physical or emotional, for a brief moment or for a period of time with another person.
I absolutely hate ex's trying to get in touch with him, chicks I know who have been interested in him in the past trying to get him to go out for drinks or meet up or whatever. If you haven't been friends/talked in 2 years you're not that great a friend to begin with and he doesn't need you. Luckily he thinks this way too and he won't even keep them as Facebook friends.
Unless the girl is a girlfriend of his good friend, or a known platonic friend that I am also friends with then there is no need for any other friends that are girls, I'm all the girl he needs

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CantAffordMac I pretty much agree with everything you said. If you wouldn't do it with me standing next to you it shouldn't be done at all.

As for looking at other girls or checking them out, I'm not naive, I know he must do it, he is human after all. But, that doesn't mean I have to KNOW about it. Is it helpful for me to hear that he thinks someone is hot? Mmm no. Although I know it isn't true, I'd like to believe I am the only one he thinks of. So I don't test him with questions I don't want the answer too. I don't point someone out and say "Do you think she is hot?" Because either he says no and I think he is lying or he says yes and then I get pouty because he thinks that. Go with the "Don't ask, don't tell" motto on that one. In that same respect I dont drool over guys or celebs in front of him and I keep the fact that I secretly fantasize about Sidney Crosby and Michael Phelps to myself

 

[aimerbijoux]

Quote:

Originally Posted by fafinette21 I absolutely hate ex's trying to get in touch with him, chicks I know who have been interested in him in the past trying to get him to go out for drinks or meet up or whatever. If you haven't been friends/talked in 2 years you're not that great a friend to begin with and he doesn't need you. Luckily he thinks this way too and he won't even keep them as Facebook friends. Unless the girl is a girlfriend of his good friend, or a known platonic friend that I am also friends with then there is no need for any other friends that are girls, I'm all the girl he needs . .

GAWD I hate when they do that!! Two of his ex gfs keep contacting him randomly. He has 1 that keeps adding him on facebook and still knows his password and adds herself but when I see she's added herself again, i'm like aw hell no bitch and I take her off and block her ass and make him change his password so she doesn't have access. Then she randomly calls him (he doesn't answer) or texts him saying shit like "I love you. Thank you for not taking my virginity" WTF that pisses me off. Bitch you know he has a new girlfriend, you've been out of his life for years and you cheated on him and played games. BACK the FUCK off. Then he has this ex gf from FOREVER ago who prank calls him (god, grow up!) and knows my name and recently she pranked him pretending like I went to a clinic behind his back and i'm not pregnant or something. So stupid.

 

[bnbs2x]

pretty muchanything that is hidden is what i consider cheating, i don't mind the flirting or whatever, but anything beyond playful fighting just seems wrong to me! i know i could never be happy in a poly type relationship, i need all of that person to be in a real relationship. but if your just fucking the guy, then its just that lol outside of arelationship i'm super open but once th commitment is made thats it for me! ( which might be why ican't stand relationships!! i need fun and openness!)