I'm pregnant and not sure what to do...
- Thread starter MakeupMuffin
- Start date
trollydolly
Well-known member
i really dont think its my place to give you my opinion hun or anyone else for that matter, but all im going to say is you've got to look at the situation from a distance and decide what is right for you. perhaps theres someone in your life you can talk to about all of this? dont worry or listen about other peoples opinions on abortion or whether or not you should keep the baby. i dont think its up to anyone to tell you that abortion is selfish. its such a personal thing and that decision needs to be made by you and not someone else at the end of the day.
user79
Well-known member
Quote:
I agree with this, it sounds like you're not ready for this child but then again we don't know your situation enough. It's your choice what to do, be it adoption, keeping the child, or aborting the fetus. But please know that whatever you do, there is no such thing as a "selfish" action, it's your body and you have the right to do what you please.
Good luck!
Originally Posted by marinasmith
I think people should only have kids when they really want them and are prepared to give this child a great home and all the love and support it needs. . |
I agree with this, it sounds like you're not ready for this child but then again we don't know your situation enough. It's your choice what to do, be it adoption, keeping the child, or aborting the fetus. But please know that whatever you do, there is no such thing as a "selfish" action, it's your body and you have the right to do what you please.
Good luck!
fashionette
Well-known member
Quote:
couldn't agree more.
| Originally Posted by MissChievous
I agree with this, it sounds like you're not ready for this child but then again we don't know your situation enough. It's your choice what to do, be it adoption, keeping the child, or aborting the fetus. But please know that whatever you do, there is no such thing as a "selfish" action, it's your body and you have the right to do what you please. Good luck! |
couldn't agree more.
fashionette
Well-known member
Also just wanted to say that I know a lot of you are pro-life and christian/catholics, but I don't think you should force your opinions on someone else. Just let her make her own decision and not make her feel guilty (Why the heck should she be feeling guilty if she wanted to have an abortion anyway? It's her beliefs, life and body, not yours)
Girl about town
Well-known member
At the end of the day all it comes down to is , that she follows her heart and stays true to herself. This isn't the time to kick off a pro-life arguement. People can telll you about their experiences but its an individual personal decision.
fashionette
Well-known member
Yeah. Well, good luck to you, I hope everything works out fine.
Kuuipo
Well-known member
Babies are a huge time investment. They need to be fed every three hours around the clock, they need pediatrician appointments, shots, they get sick, etc. You got to be ready. You will feed and clothe them whether you like it or not till they can pay for themselves. You will need to discipline them and teach them how to be good people. If you are not ready for all of that , you should not have been having unprotected sex, that is irresponsible. You can't expect mom to raise junior either.
Abortion is also a very personal choice. At 15 weeks, when a fetus is aborted, it loks like a little human being, not a sea horse. Sometimes at my job a woman's baby dies inside her prematurely and she spontaneously aborts it. We dress it, let her hold it, take pictures and make a little birth and death certificate. When a person chooses to have an abortion, she is put to sleep, she never has to see the fetus or baby, it is sent directly to the lab.
Adoption is hard too, because you carry the baby for 9 months, and then you give it up. Hopefully people who prayed for a baby will adopt it and love it -and usually they do because they wanted this baby badly.
All of this is personal opinion and religon aside. Some religons will excommunicate you or tell you that you are damned for eternity. So will some people. You need not listen to them, you have to answer to your soul, to your God, etc.If you are going to feel guilty or depressed or damned after an abortion, this is not the right choice. If you see no other option, than it is for you. We always have options.
Abortion is also a very personal choice. At 15 weeks, when a fetus is aborted, it loks like a little human being, not a sea horse. Sometimes at my job a woman's baby dies inside her prematurely and she spontaneously aborts it. We dress it, let her hold it, take pictures and make a little birth and death certificate. When a person chooses to have an abortion, she is put to sleep, she never has to see the fetus or baby, it is sent directly to the lab.
Adoption is hard too, because you carry the baby for 9 months, and then you give it up. Hopefully people who prayed for a baby will adopt it and love it -and usually they do because they wanted this baby badly.
All of this is personal opinion and religon aside. Some religons will excommunicate you or tell you that you are damned for eternity. So will some people. You need not listen to them, you have to answer to your soul, to your God, etc.If you are going to feel guilty or depressed or damned after an abortion, this is not the right choice. If you see no other option, than it is for you. We always have options.
Dahlia_Rayn
Well-known member
Hon, I just want you to know that my thoughts are with you. This is a tough decision, and you probably would rather curl up in a corner and hide without having to make it, but I know you have a reservoir of strength that will carry you through! Whatever you decide you're going to be ok! Hugs and positive vibes your way!
BeautyPsycho
Well-known member
Oh that's hard.. I'm not sure these answers will help you a lot because we are not you and we don't know you.
I wish you all the best!
I wish you all the best!
CantAffordMAC
Well-known member
I definetly dont agree with those saying that a decision you'd make is selfish. PLEASE don't listen to that.
I had an abortion 2 years ago when I was 17. I was only 17. Obviously we were stupid and we made mistakes, but I was just so young...still in high school. Our situation wasn't right then and to be honest, it still isn't right for a baby now. It was the most difficult decision I've ever had to make in my entire life. I cried everyday. I had a child growing inside of me. And it was selfish of me to make the choice I made? No it wasn't! It was the right choice for me. For me, for him, and for our child. We went back and forth for so long, he was arguing with me that we could find a way to make it work and to just have his baby, I argued with him that we weren't ready, and what would my family think I was only 17. but we both came to an agreement and did what we had to do. I never forget....I honestly don't think about it so much anymore but its crazy, because as I am writing this I'm crying my eyes out.
I am not saying that an abortion is the easy way out. Whoever says something like that has NEVER gone through it. I have to deal with the what-ifs, and the guilt and the pain everyday of my life. You will move on, but you will never forget. And it will always hurt. But you have to make the right choice for yourself. Think about every detail. be honest. Talk with your boyfriend. Whatever your choice is, it will work itself out. Everything in life always works itself out.
Everyone makes mistakes. All of the close-minded answers here are peoples' opinions and everyone has a right to their opinion, but they are also extremely hurtful. This is a sensitive topic. if you ever need to talk I am here.
I had an abortion 2 years ago when I was 17. I was only 17. Obviously we were stupid and we made mistakes, but I was just so young...still in high school. Our situation wasn't right then and to be honest, it still isn't right for a baby now. It was the most difficult decision I've ever had to make in my entire life. I cried everyday. I had a child growing inside of me. And it was selfish of me to make the choice I made? No it wasn't! It was the right choice for me. For me, for him, and for our child. We went back and forth for so long, he was arguing with me that we could find a way to make it work and to just have his baby, I argued with him that we weren't ready, and what would my family think I was only 17. but we both came to an agreement and did what we had to do. I never forget....I honestly don't think about it so much anymore but its crazy, because as I am writing this I'm crying my eyes out.
I am not saying that an abortion is the easy way out. Whoever says something like that has NEVER gone through it. I have to deal with the what-ifs, and the guilt and the pain everyday of my life. You will move on, but you will never forget. And it will always hurt. But you have to make the right choice for yourself. Think about every detail. be honest. Talk with your boyfriend. Whatever your choice is, it will work itself out. Everything in life always works itself out.
Everyone makes mistakes. All of the close-minded answers here are peoples' opinions and everyone has a right to their opinion, but they are also extremely hurtful. This is a sensitive topic. if you ever need to talk I am here.
.k.
Well-known member
I think this decision is one of the hardest you will ever have to make and it requires much thought. You have to look at both sides with all the pros and the cons. Having an abortion can cause complications, having a baby will change your life. In my opinion, all children are precious blessings and life is a gift.
Caramel_QT
Well-known member
Quote:
Exactly.
I think some women unknowingly go through a termination b/c they are looking at the circumstance that they are in *right now* and looking for a way to undo it without disrupting their own life. Little do they know, that after the procedure, life doesn't just go back to the way it was. You are never the same. Time does heal as CantAffordMAC said, but it never goes away. If I could save a woman from the anguish and the pain you feel after an abortion I would. I don't want all the prochoicers jumping on my back saying "It's a woman's choice" "It's her body". Yeah that is true, that is all fine and good, but I wish that women knew that abortion doesn't just end it all. Abortion is not like going back in time and not getting pregnant. You can't undo a pregnancy. IMNSHO the mental after-effects of abortion are waaay worse than having a child. Sounds crazy but it is true. Trust me. I know what I'm talking about.
| Originally Posted by CantAffordMAC
I am not saying that an abortion is the easy way out. Whoever says something like that has NEVER gone through it. I have to deal with the what-ifs, and the guilt and the pain everyday of my life. You will move on, but you will never forget. And it will always hurt. |
Exactly.
I think some women unknowingly go through a termination b/c they are looking at the circumstance that they are in *right now* and looking for a way to undo it without disrupting their own life. Little do they know, that after the procedure, life doesn't just go back to the way it was. You are never the same. Time does heal as CantAffordMAC said, but it never goes away. If I could save a woman from the anguish and the pain you feel after an abortion I would. I don't want all the prochoicers jumping on my back saying "It's a woman's choice" "It's her body". Yeah that is true, that is all fine and good, but I wish that women knew that abortion doesn't just end it all. Abortion is not like going back in time and not getting pregnant. You can't undo a pregnancy. IMNSHO the mental after-effects of abortion are waaay worse than having a child. Sounds crazy but it is true. Trust me. I know what I'm talking about.
lara
Well-known member
Personal circumstance for one person doesn't translate to a universal experience.
A woman may fall unexpectedly pregnant, decide to go through with the pregnancy and be perfectly happy with her choice.
A woman may fall unexpectedly pregnant, decide to go through with the pregnancy and be perfectly miserable with her choice.
A woman may fall unexpectedly pregnant, decide to go terminate and be perfectly happy with her choice.
A woman may fall unexpectedly pregnant, decide to go terminate and be perfectly miserable with her choice.
This isn't the appropriate place for everyone to grind their own personal axes. Share your personal experiences, by all means, but don't present your particular emotions and feelings, good or bad, as a universal truth and be dismissive about others who have chosen differently to you.
Makeupmuffin, I haven't been through what you're going through and, science willing, I never will. You have my full support and all my good thoughts whatever you choose to do.
A woman may fall unexpectedly pregnant, decide to go through with the pregnancy and be perfectly happy with her choice.
A woman may fall unexpectedly pregnant, decide to go through with the pregnancy and be perfectly miserable with her choice.
A woman may fall unexpectedly pregnant, decide to go terminate and be perfectly happy with her choice.
A woman may fall unexpectedly pregnant, decide to go terminate and be perfectly miserable with her choice.
This isn't the appropriate place for everyone to grind their own personal axes. Share your personal experiences, by all means, but don't present your particular emotions and feelings, good or bad, as a universal truth and be dismissive about others who have chosen differently to you.
Makeupmuffin, I haven't been through what you're going through and, science willing, I never will. You have my full support and all my good thoughts whatever you choose to do.
Caramel_QT
Well-known member
Quote:
This is just the point. It is so easy to say "I'm here for you babe, everything is going to be fine" in the end she is alone in this. I've been there. You can be in the most committed marriage/common law or whatever, but it's still all on the woman - my opinion of course.
I don't think anyone is trying to pass off their opinions as universal truths either, hopefully we are all much more intelligent than that, however, when people come onto message boards asking for advice and *opinions* people will chime in with just that. Ultimately the OP is going to do what they feel is best for them, regardless.
And I just have to say, no one "falls" pregnant. One may fall ill, or fall down, but, I assure you I have never fallen pregnant. I don't mean to sound like a total
, but true as those scenarios may be that you listed out, we *choose* to have sex. We may not *choose* to end up pregnant as a result, but we most certainly know what causes it (and so does the man involved).
I wish the OP all the best health and peace above all.
| Originally Posted by lara
I haven't been through what you're going through and, science willing, I never will. |
This is just the point. It is so easy to say "I'm here for you babe, everything is going to be fine" in the end she is alone in this. I've been there. You can be in the most committed marriage/common law or whatever, but it's still all on the woman - my opinion of course.
I don't think anyone is trying to pass off their opinions as universal truths either, hopefully we are all much more intelligent than that, however, when people come onto message boards asking for advice and *opinions* people will chime in with just that. Ultimately the OP is going to do what they feel is best for them, regardless.
And I just have to say, no one "falls" pregnant. One may fall ill, or fall down, but, I assure you I have never fallen pregnant. I don't mean to sound like a total
I wish the OP all the best health and peace above all.
hhunt2
Well-known member
I personally would NOT end the pregnancy... if anything, give it up for adoption. There's organizations out there that would love to adopt and would keep you in the kids life (an "Open Adoption"). I have a friend whos located in Northern California that is looking for a baby. I have their website and contact info (you can message me for the website).
They recently traveled to South Carolina to adopt a baby. The mother was in labor and my friend traveled up there to be with the birthmom & then take the baby home... The birthmom repeativly said she didnt want the baby b/c she already has 3 kids and they were really tight on money. Unfortunatly, the birthmom changed her mind and kept the baby (she said they bonded). Omg, my friend was sooo depressed... Losing a baby like that is like having a miscarage. I remember when she called me to tell me what happened. I cried for her.
Remember that some women CAN NOT have kids... for myself, I'm 21, I've seen an obgyn on a normal basis, and my husband and I are having such a hard time trying to get pregnant. We've been trying for about 6 months now. I would love to be pregnant. It would suck if I found out that I'm not able to have kids... that would be devistating.
If you are still contemplating on your choices... remember that there's MediCal (I assume your in Cali) insurance for you and your baby (and you wouldn't have to pay anything due to your situation). There are organizations out there to help you. My friend is 24 and single. Still going to school, lives at home and works a part time job that don't pay well. And I care about her so I bought her alot of baby stuff. I always tell her that she can always live with me or if she needs help with money, I'm always willing to help out with her baby expensis.
They recently traveled to South Carolina to adopt a baby. The mother was in labor and my friend traveled up there to be with the birthmom & then take the baby home... The birthmom repeativly said she didnt want the baby b/c she already has 3 kids and they were really tight on money. Unfortunatly, the birthmom changed her mind and kept the baby (she said they bonded). Omg, my friend was sooo depressed... Losing a baby like that is like having a miscarage. I remember when she called me to tell me what happened. I cried for her.
Remember that some women CAN NOT have kids... for myself, I'm 21, I've seen an obgyn on a normal basis, and my husband and I are having such a hard time trying to get pregnant. We've been trying for about 6 months now. I would love to be pregnant. It would suck if I found out that I'm not able to have kids... that would be devistating.
If you are still contemplating on your choices... remember that there's MediCal (I assume your in Cali) insurance for you and your baby (and you wouldn't have to pay anything due to your situation). There are organizations out there to help you. My friend is 24 and single. Still going to school, lives at home and works a part time job that don't pay well. And I care about her so I bought her alot of baby stuff. I always tell her that she can always live with me or if she needs help with money, I'm always willing to help out with her baby expensis.
Starr1
Well-known member
Whatever you choose to do, just make sure that it's a decision that you can live with for the rest of your life. . . whether you choose to abort, adopt, or keep the baby- the decision will continue to affect you emotionally years from now. For some it's an easy decision, but for others it isn't. Whatever path you choose to take please, please, please educate yourself as thouroughly as possible before making a final decision.
If you do decide to abort, please do so as soon as possible for your own sake, in order reduce the risk of further complications. Regardless of what anyone says, it is not just a "simple procedure", it is a surgery with risks.
If you decide to adopt, read as much information as you can on the process and familiarize yourself with it. It may even be possible for you to choose your child's new parents.
If you decide to keep the child, try not to go into it with false expectations- know what the implications of having a child are, what they need, what they demand, and the pros and cons of having one. They are needy, but they can also bring you joy.
Know that whatever choice you make is not wrong. . . but it is a choice that you, and you alone will have to live with. Good luck.
If you do decide to abort, please do so as soon as possible for your own sake, in order reduce the risk of further complications. Regardless of what anyone says, it is not just a "simple procedure", it is a surgery with risks.
If you decide to adopt, read as much information as you can on the process and familiarize yourself with it. It may even be possible for you to choose your child's new parents.
If you decide to keep the child, try not to go into it with false expectations- know what the implications of having a child are, what they need, what they demand, and the pros and cons of having one. They are needy, but they can also bring you joy.
Know that whatever choice you make is not wrong. . . but it is a choice that you, and you alone will have to live with. Good luck.
ri0tdorque
Well-known member
I have only read the first reply and now the last reply since it's right above this so I don't know what others have said but in the end it's up to you. What YOU feel you can handle and what you feel is best. Nobody can tell you. I know it's scary I've been there just look at all of your options and make an informed decision.
From the post above me it looks like a lot of replies have been pro-life based and that's sad because it's your body, your future, your life therefore it's your choice but you have to feel ok with that decision and that all depends on you and your own personal beliefs.
From the post above me it looks like a lot of replies have been pro-life based and that's sad because it's your body, your future, your life therefore it's your choice but you have to feel ok with that decision and that all depends on you and your own personal beliefs.
tiffanykei
Member
Personally, I'm against abortion.
One of my close friend called me a couple of months ago to ask me if she should get an abortion. Now, that's a very sensitive question to be asking anyone you know? There's tons of people out there who'd freak out at the thought and would start condemning you to hell. :X In her situation however, she was getting cheated on.. and abused at home. :T I told her that only she knows what's best for herself and that no one else can tell her what to do. Only she can make that decision for herself.
In the end she did get that abortion. She cried her head off telling me about it and all I could say to her was the same thing.. Only she knows what's best for herself. I guess it was a great decision though! That jerk of a guy recently got arrested but she was strong enough to leave him before all that happened. He'll be serving 7 to 10 years in prison AND will be getting deported afterwards.
I hate him...
She moved back to the west coast and she's happier than ever! She met a new guy and I'm sure that opportunity wouldn't have been as easy with her having a round belly you know? That would freak any guy out I think... She's constantly telling me how he's so cute and kind.. yeah.. she's like a high school girl all over again.
So yup! My answer is... only you know what's best for you.
I shudder at the thought of a crazy christian reading this..
One of my close friend called me a couple of months ago to ask me if she should get an abortion. Now, that's a very sensitive question to be asking anyone you know? There's tons of people out there who'd freak out at the thought and would start condemning you to hell. :X In her situation however, she was getting cheated on.. and abused at home. :T I told her that only she knows what's best for herself and that no one else can tell her what to do. Only she can make that decision for herself.
In the end she did get that abortion. She cried her head off telling me about it and all I could say to her was the same thing.. Only she knows what's best for herself. I guess it was a great decision though! That jerk of a guy recently got arrested but she was strong enough to leave him before all that happened. He'll be serving 7 to 10 years in prison AND will be getting deported afterwards.
She moved back to the west coast and she's happier than ever! She met a new guy and I'm sure that opportunity wouldn't have been as easy with her having a round belly you know? That would freak any guy out I think... She's constantly telling me how he's so cute and kind.. yeah.. she's like a high school girl all over again.
So yup! My answer is... only you know what's best for you.
I shudder at the thought of a crazy christian reading this..
