Quote:
Originally Posted by Bootyliciousx
I think you should really think about it more. Your bf is done with school and you only have 1 more year to go and thats not a big of a difference. I don't have the right to judge you because I have not been there, but I am human. I can understand your concern and worry. I think you should ponder about this more.
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I have to disagree with this. Being done with school and her only having another year to go IS a big difference. A baby comes in 9 months, she's estimating 2 months into her pregnancy, meaning she'll meet her child in 7 months should she decide to keep it. That would definitely put her behind in school, and because she's not working yet it would make it difficult for her to find childcare. Having the time available is not a justifiable excuse to keep a baby she's not ready for.
Neither of them has their own place, they'll be shuttling their baby around their parents' homes, which can get stressfull on everybody involved. My brother and his wife (then 17 year old girlfriend actually) lived with us after they had their first baby because they really had nowhere else to go. It was very hard. We were getting up when they were getting up because we're not deaf, we can hear 3am feedings and colicy babies too. Not that we minded, because my niece is the greatest thing to happen to this family, but it's very very hard. It was wearing all of us down, babies are cute but they are hard work. And some parents who have grown children don't want to be secondary caregivers, a lot of them have the "I've raised my babies into adults, I'm done" mentality; my boyfriend's mom is 63 years old, I'm definitely not going to rely heavily on her for assisting me with a newborn should I get pregnant in the near future *knock on wood*
And having a new baby is going to make it difficult for her to find a job--finding a job right now is already hard because of the current economy--because the issue of childcare, availability, benefits and all that jazz are going to come into play. Employers could worry that you won't be able to handle your work responsibilities because you're concerned with a new baby, or that your attendance could be affected if your baby gets sick or if you can't find childcare and have to stay home. Not all employers feel that way, but a lot of them do.
It would be different if they already had a place and had a more steady source of income and more time to prepare themselves for this, but they don't. Sure, for some people having a baby motivates them to make better money choices and get better jobs for the sake of their baby; but obviously the OP doesn't want that. Maybe she wants to make better choices, seek better options and work for the sake of herself. Don't have a baby and justify keeping it because "well maybe after it's born I can get a job and save money and it'll be fine."
For me personally, if I fell into this situation, my boyfriend and I have already talked about it. I would keep my baby, and we would continue to save our money like we're doing now. I'm 6 months away from my degree, and I just transfered my job into a new position with less traveling expenditure (gas, maintenance on my car) to one with more hours and a much much smaller commute. Together, he and I would have the financial means to support a baby and still live decently. My shopping would stop of course, and eating out and going on dates would be a once a month thing instead of a twice a week thing, and we'd have family support. It wouldn't be an ideal situation but we'd be okay. These two aren't ready for a baby, she obviously doesn't want one right now, and they'll definitely struggle very hard to get by, which wouldn't be fair to them or their child.
Do what feels right hon, and do what's best for you. But if you have to come up with a list of reasons from strangers to keep your baby or determine what to do...then you probably already have your answer =/ Good luck.
