Trunkmonkey
Well-known member
My wife is 16 years younger than me. It's been magic for the past 5 years and I couldn't imagine being with anyone else. Just sayin
is thirty too old for a nineteen year old?
- Thread starter kimmy
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xxsgtigressxx
Well-known member
sigh...it seems like you already have your mind made up about it and if you are going to do what you want to do and date him...be prepared for anything I suppose. I think huge age gaps like that are a huge problem, especially since your only 19. Everyone always says age is nothing but a number, but I really disagree with that. For example, one of my friends is dating a much older guy. Its not fair to her because he has already lived and done everything he wanted to accomplish in his youth. She being 22 hasnt had the time to be young, because its looked down upon by her much older bf when she goes out with us girls, etc. Even if this guy acts young, there is a big difference in how he treats the people around him and how he treats a girlfriend, especially a younger one! Not in all cases but in most I have to wonder why a 30 year old would have to go for a 19 year old in the first place! Im not saying you must not be beautiful, fun, etc., just that it seems really weird to me that he wouldnt want someone on his own level. I think you'd come to later regret it to be honest. And I know you say you dont want anything serious, but come on, your fooling yourself! If you didnt want anything serious, I doubt you'd be asking advice about seeing this guy because it wasnt legitimate enough to make a big deal about. And that goes without saying that just because YOU dont want it to be serious doesnt mean HE wont want to be serious! He's at an age where people are settling down, and if he wants children he's probably going to want to have them in the near future. you may even trick yourself into believing thats what you want even, but i feel that one day you'll look back and regret it. Please, you're already somewhat emotionally involved with this guy, dont take it further unless you are completely ready and willing to accept ALL the consequences that might come along with it. Just because he seems a certain way to you now doesnt mean he wont change his tune once you guys are together for a little while. I dunno, Good luck though!
FREYA
Member
Speaking from experience I say RUN! lol. Seriously though, when I was 19 I got into a relationship with a 26 year old guy. Now, that's only 7 years difference and we broke up this past December. When he turned 30, everything changed, and not in a good way.
After 5 years of loving someone who would never fully allow themselves to love me back, I have realized that there were many indicators that I should have ended the relationship a long time ago. He left me because he wanted a wife and kids, *RIGHT NOW* and I want a Masters Degree.
Well, he started dating someone 2 weeks after we broke up, she works with him, (Gee, I wonder how long *that* has been going on for) and she is 24, only a year older than I am. He also cheats on her with other girls at his job, and still asks me for pictures of my tits. (You know, to remember me by.)
I guess my point is this:
At 19, I was mature (as i could be for 19), and didn't really want to go out very much, really all I wanted was to be loved by someone. I had not had many positive relationships (How could I? High school is meaningless, and I was only 19 even though I felt older, I didn't have the life experience) and here was a MAN who was totally interested in me like no one ever had been before. I was swooning, and I loved him from the start.
The truth of the matter is that he was not as mature as I thought he was, and still isn't. He has a dirty habit of porn and asking women online for pictures of their tits, to trade for pictures of his penis, while he detaches himself from the relationship and doesn't have sex with me. He also used to balk at me asking him to do any housework (we lived together for 4 of the 5 years) even though he says he wants kids and a house, he wouldn't do jack shit without an argument, because he works full time, and I "Only go to school, so have no reason to be such a slob."
But did I know that in the beginning? Did I know I was in for a broken heart? Did I know he was so twisted up inside? NOPE. I 'knew' that he was sweet, bought me things, told me I was perfect and that he loved me and wanted to marry me. I "knew" that I was the most perfect girlfriend he ever had, and that he was insatiable in the sack.
I believe that I will always love him, a part of me at least, because besides all his faults we were best friends, we did talk, we did love at one point or another, he was my world, and he was my first real love.
But I would have to go with the other girls on here who question why a 30 year old man would want to be with a 19 year old, since I dated someone older, and in the end, our interests differed so greatly. It turns out I am much more multifaceted than he is, because he at 26 was who he was going to be forever, and I at 19 was a limited version of myself.
Anyway, I wouldn't be serious with him in any way, and my advice is to stay away from the situation all together. In 5 years, you will be different in a lot of ways, and he may be exactly the same.
Sorry for the ramble, lol
After 5 years of loving someone who would never fully allow themselves to love me back, I have realized that there were many indicators that I should have ended the relationship a long time ago. He left me because he wanted a wife and kids, *RIGHT NOW* and I want a Masters Degree.
Well, he started dating someone 2 weeks after we broke up, she works with him, (Gee, I wonder how long *that* has been going on for) and she is 24, only a year older than I am. He also cheats on her with other girls at his job, and still asks me for pictures of my tits. (You know, to remember me by.)
I guess my point is this:
At 19, I was mature (as i could be for 19), and didn't really want to go out very much, really all I wanted was to be loved by someone. I had not had many positive relationships (How could I? High school is meaningless, and I was only 19 even though I felt older, I didn't have the life experience) and here was a MAN who was totally interested in me like no one ever had been before. I was swooning, and I loved him from the start.
The truth of the matter is that he was not as mature as I thought he was, and still isn't. He has a dirty habit of porn and asking women online for pictures of their tits, to trade for pictures of his penis, while he detaches himself from the relationship and doesn't have sex with me. He also used to balk at me asking him to do any housework (we lived together for 4 of the 5 years) even though he says he wants kids and a house, he wouldn't do jack shit without an argument, because he works full time, and I "Only go to school, so have no reason to be such a slob."
But did I know that in the beginning? Did I know I was in for a broken heart? Did I know he was so twisted up inside? NOPE. I 'knew' that he was sweet, bought me things, told me I was perfect and that he loved me and wanted to marry me. I "knew" that I was the most perfect girlfriend he ever had, and that he was insatiable in the sack.
I believe that I will always love him, a part of me at least, because besides all his faults we were best friends, we did talk, we did love at one point or another, he was my world, and he was my first real love.
But I would have to go with the other girls on here who question why a 30 year old man would want to be with a 19 year old, since I dated someone older, and in the end, our interests differed so greatly. It turns out I am much more multifaceted than he is, because he at 26 was who he was going to be forever, and I at 19 was a limited version of myself.
Anyway, I wouldn't be serious with him in any way, and my advice is to stay away from the situation all together. In 5 years, you will be different in a lot of ways, and he may be exactly the same.
Sorry for the ramble, lol
dollypink
Well-known member
i think everyone here is speaking from personal experience - which is bound to be different every time.
like any relationship you can have good or bad experiences - older or younger partner.
i think you've got to listen to your heart, not what a bunch of people on a messageboard think
like any relationship you can have good or bad experiences - older or younger partner.
i think you've got to listen to your heart, not what a bunch of people on a messageboard think
soniababonia456
Member
i dont think there is anything wrong with it, iam 19 and my boyfriends 32 and we are happy. relationships work when you put in effort to make them work, just because you are or aren't the same age doesn't determine if it is meant to be
stacylynne
Well-known member
Simple answer, Yes. I'm 35 & in no way shape or form would I date a 19 year old. To me, even though he's of legal age, he's still a child.
I got asked out on sides of the spectrum. A guy that was old enough to be my father & a 23 year old. I said NO to both of them. Why? different generations & if a much older man is going to ask me out & keep in mind he thought I was 26. I thought he was a F up & this is why he dates much younger girls so they won't relize what a F up he is.
For the younger guy, I just wouldn't. I just think they want to be w/ an older woman to teach them new tricks LOL.
But hey, this is your choice.
There is only 1 reason for a woman to date a much younger man...
I got asked out on sides of the spectrum. A guy that was old enough to be my father & a 23 year old. I said NO to both of them. Why? different generations & if a much older man is going to ask me out & keep in mind he thought I was 26. I thought he was a F up & this is why he dates much younger girls so they won't relize what a F up he is.
For the younger guy, I just wouldn't. I just think they want to be w/ an older woman to teach them new tricks LOL.
But hey, this is your choice.
There is only 1 reason for a woman to date a much younger man...
cupcake_x
Well-known member
Well.. Yes AND no.
It honestly depends on the situation and the people involved. Some older men really DO just want some young teenage tail, but some really DO want more.
I'm in an age gap relationship as well, and it wouldn't work if it weren't for so many different aspects, like maturity.
You're in two different points in your life and it gets frustrating at times, believe me. Sometimes you will want to go out with your friends and chances are, he won't be too comfortable with that. Or maybe he'll want to start settling down or want you to move in after a short time and you won't be too comfortable with it.
Another huge thing you'll have to deal with are peoples reactions and hurtful words. I know now you think "Who cares what people think?" but constantly hearing it will most likely get you thinking. I remember a few incidents where people would call and harass us constantly. It was so stressful.
All in all, I'm for age gap relationships and I hope this works out, but proceed with caution!
It honestly depends on the situation and the people involved. Some older men really DO just want some young teenage tail, but some really DO want more.
I'm in an age gap relationship as well, and it wouldn't work if it weren't for so many different aspects, like maturity.
You're in two different points in your life and it gets frustrating at times, believe me. Sometimes you will want to go out with your friends and chances are, he won't be too comfortable with that. Or maybe he'll want to start settling down or want you to move in after a short time and you won't be too comfortable with it.
Another huge thing you'll have to deal with are peoples reactions and hurtful words. I know now you think "Who cares what people think?" but constantly hearing it will most likely get you thinking. I remember a few incidents where people would call and harass us constantly. It was so stressful.
All in all, I'm for age gap relationships and I hope this works out, but proceed with caution!
SassyMochaJess
Well-known member
Im 22 y/o and my bf of almost 2 yrs is 34y/o so thats 12 years between us. And to me it depends on the person not so much the age. My bf doesn't not look his age nor does he remind me of my dad!! But like alot of the gals said you guys are at two different point in life, so consider that. But that doesn't mean it won't workout. I say go for it! Your over 18 so obviously he's not doing anything wrong. As longs as he treats you right and respects you who cares how old he is!! I kno I don't...
cupcake_x
Well-known member
Quote:
Agreed.
Originally Posted by SassyMochaJess
Im 22 y/o and my bf of almost 2 yrs is 34y/o so thats 12 years between us. And to me it depends on the person not so much the age. My bf doesn't not look his age nor does he remind me of my dad!! But like alot of the gals said you guys are at two different point in life, so consider that. But that doesn't mean it won't workout. I say go for it! Your over 18 so obviously he's not doing anything wrong. As longs as he treats you right and respects you who cares how old he is!! I kno I don't... |
Agreed.
AdlersMommy22
Well-known member
wow this is such an old thread. LOL
kimmy howd it turn out? LOL
kimmy howd it turn out? LOL
TISH1124
Well-known member
Hell yes!! Cradle robber! Crib snatcher! Baby burper!! Bottle spiker!!
Just j/k
Age is only a number ....if you can get pass some of the immaturity that comes with a very young man, I say go for it...My husband is not that young...but younger than I am ....and a few things have been quite the adjustment for me.
Just j/k
Age is only a number ....if you can get pass some of the immaturity that comes with a very young man, I say go for it...My husband is not that young...but younger than I am ....and a few things have been quite the adjustment for me.
