Mom Says Men Always Cheat, So Expect It...

[shimmyshimmyya]

I just finished having a crazy conversation with my mom about life, men, marriage, sex etc... and she basically told me that men will cheat on you, so you need to expect it, prepare for it and don't be too surprised if it happens...

I didn't know what to say to that.

I mean, we all (as a family) had to endure the aftermath of my dad's affair with some crazy lady, which shocked the hell out of everyone, because he didn't seem like the type of person.

I guess she feels this way because of that. She tells me some men don't start out that way, but in time, things in life happen.

What do you think? Do you think men will eventually cheat? Is it silly to think that all men cheat? And should you have to prepare in case he does?

 

[Stephy171]

this is a touchy subject..... i dont think that men cheat all the time or that everyone you date will play you but i do say that AT ONE POINT IN THERE LIVESS men will cheat...... for some its a matter of growing up but i do believe that there are good guys out there and they dont cheat in every relationship....but thats just wat i thinkk and from experience alot of my closest friends are guys...... its hard for guys to fall in love but when they do... they fall hard cheating is last on there mind now if your dealing with childish men that dont know what they want thats a diff storyyy.....
-ok sorry for ramblinnng lol

 

[kimmy]

there's still good guys out there, even though they may be few and far between. not every man cheats.

 

[sharkbytes]

I think it's a bit of a generalization to say that ALL men cheat, and also, we haven't established a common definition of what "cheating" really means. For some people, cheating in your heart is just as bad as physically cheating. Others define it as a kiss, an affair, or a random sexual encounter. I'd say that most people are guilty of cheating in the heart at one time or another in their lives; that is, of desiring someone else and imagining what it would be like. The percentage of folks who act on those feelings is probably much lower.

It's unfair to paint everyone with the same brush, and to go into everything in life believing that you will eventually be wronged. That sort of thinking can tarnish a relationship from the start. Just imagine a guy who thinks, "well, she already thinks i'm going to cheat on her anyway." Unfortunately that leaves your heart open to be hurt, but it also leaves it open to be loved. I guess you just have to hope for the best, you know? And be careful who you trust your heart to.

 

[TamiChoi]

Not only men cheat, but women do too. It all depends on their personality. I guess if they're a careless person, they will do it without hesitation. You can't make that stereotype that ALL men cheat. Not all men are the same and I'm 100% sure there are some out there that don't cheat.
I for one, have never cheated. I just think that's really messed up. If you are committed to ONE person, it should stay that way.
Now, if you sense signs of cheating, you should be prepared and deal with it. There's nothing you can do about it. You can't change one's mind and why would you want a cheater back in your life?
People react different ways when they find out. Maybe some people will be hurt, some people will be furious, and some people will just turn coldhearted and tell the other person to f@$% off and never look back. In case he does? If he/she does, he's/she's not worth it.

 

[ShugAvery2001]

Quote:

Originally Posted by shimmyshimmyya I just finished having a crazy conversation with my mom about life, men, marriage, sex etc... and she basically told me that men will cheat on you, so you need to expect it, prepare for it and don't be too surprised if it happens... I didn't know what to say to that. I mean, we all (as a family) had to endure the aftermath of my dad's affair with some crazy lady, which shocked the hell out of everyone, because he didn't seem like the type of person. I guess she feels this way because of that. She tells me some men don't start out that way, but in time, things in life happen. What do you think? Do you think men will eventually cheat? Is it silly to think that all men cheat? And should you have to prepare in case he does?

It depends on the type of man. I think that all men that can attract women will at some point cheat. The infamous alpha male that most women want who's good looking strong and viral (sp). The thing is ... not all men are sexual! Some guys are more interested in work or their cars or OTHER things beside sex. But if you happen to luck up on a man that can 'sling dat ting', honey please, another woman will get that. I'm not so sure how natural monogamy is, especially for men.
Everything about our society goes AGAINST the idea of monogamy. TV Music Movies Advertisements I mean gawd we are BOMBARDED with sex 24/7 and then on top of that.. as women.. our own sexual freedom. we can go to work with all our cleavage out and shit. Married guys turn me off.. because I want support more than dyck! But trust me, there are some women out here that worship dyck and don't really care that they're messing with another woman's man! And will be bold witcha man too! Like plop her ass right in his lap. Most men can't walk away from that. Half nudity at the club, suggestive dancing.. ONLY JESUS could resist! Hell think about biblical figures. King David Solomon hell they couldn't even resist! lol

I think that the reason why the divorce rate is so high is that women have been empowered more to walk away from those types of situation. Of course back in the day, mom stayed home right no job, no equal opportunity, which made it difficult to just "leave". Some women were married to guys who cross-dressed and the whole nine, cheated and all.

I do believe most men cheat. NO DOUBT ABOUT IT.
Doesn't matter if you're a preacher, or a president, or anyone.

Marriage is hard and monogamous relationships can become very mundane after a while. Some men just can't take that.....

 

[TISH1124]

I totally disagree ... I do not think that all or necessary most men cheat nor do I think that all women are faithful. There are alot of good, God fearing men that believe in being faithful and true to their spouse. As a matter of fact I am married to one. He is the man that attracts women everywhere he goes and he played the field alot in his day. His ex cheated on him and that was the breaking point of the 10 yr relationship....He will except no explanations for cheating no matter how much he loves you and he has made that very clear. He will tolerate a lot but unfaithfulness is not one of them. He is very God fearing and believes in the vows that he took before God and our family. Some men enjoy knowing that there is only one woman that they are giving themselves to completely and that woman treats and feels the same way about them. That is not to say that he doesn't flirt...He does...I do...I think everyone does...But does it go past flirting I seriously bet my life on it that it doesn't.
To stereotype and say that all men cheat...then you may as well spend the rest of your life alone...or just be with a man that you know cheats.

Thats like saying all people lie...It is so unfair and not valid

 

[MAC_Pixie04]

I think that's bullshit; yes men cheat, but so do a lot of women. In fact, women are statistically a lot more likely to cheat, and not only do they cheat physically (sex, etc) but they cheat emotionally, as in having an actual relationship with the person they cheat with, not just sleeping with them and calling it a day.

and I don't think it's fair to say that women should just roll over and take it or expect it or deal with it. Part of being in a relationship with someone is being faithful and upholding fidelity; if you know you can't do that, you shouldn't try to commit yourself to someone because you will HURT them.

Trust me, if I catch my boyfriend cheating on me, I'm not gonna go "Oh he's a man." He's gonna pay; and if the bitch he cheats with is someone I know or someone who knows about me, then her ass will pay too.

 

[candycane80]

What a depressing thought, that all men will cheat..... I do not want to believe that. I do think there are still good ones out there. I to my knowledge have never been cheated on and I don't think my fiance ever will. I have him scared to! I HATE all the excuses that brought up for why men cheat. You should not have to worry about your man giving in to temptation women are faced with it too and we don't cheat as much as men do. I also hate that lonley excuse like women are never lonely PLEASE! I believe if a man truly loves you he will not cheat, if he does it was not meant to be.

 

[ShugAvery2001]

Quote:

Originally Posted by TISH1127 Thats like saying all people lie...It is so unfair and not valid

all people don't lie.. but MOST people do

 

[ohnna-lee]

Sadly most get involved with a similiar version of their father.

 

[TISH1124]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ShugAvery2001 all people don't lie.. but MOST people do

Glad I don't hang around the "Most " people you do....There is nothing that backs that statement up...Just your opinion.

 

[ShugAvery2001]

Quote:

Originally Posted by candycane80 What a depressing thought, that all men will cheat..... I do not want to believe that.

How could you not want to believe it in this day and age when we've witnessed men who've had so much to loose by getting caught cheating take that risk.

It doesn't matter what socio economic status religion race culture whatever it's just the way it is.

For some people the urge to have sex is just as powerful as the urge to take a pee pee..

Now I know some of you ladies on here hate it put in those terms but women more so associate emotional attachment with sex. With alot of men having sex isn't necessarily that

and it's for alot of reasons. Not all guys that cheat are "Bad" men or not "God fearing" men as demonstrated by the numerous amount of preachers who have gotten caught in affairs

 

[ShugAvery2001]

Quote:

Originally Posted by TISH1127 Glad I don't hang around the "Most " people you do....There is nothing that backs that statement up...Just your opinion.

Giiiiiirl .. you know I'm a geek right

wait for itttt............ now

UMass researcher finds most people lie in everyday conversation

UMass researcher finds most people lie in everyday conversation

Study shows differences in types of lies told by men and women

AMHERST, Mass. – Most people lie in everyday conversation when they are trying to appear likable and competent, according to a study conducted by University of Massachusetts psychologist Robert S. Feldman and published in the most recent Journal of Basic and Applied Social Psychology. The study, published in the journal's June issue, found that 60 percent of people lied at least once during a 10-minute conversation and told an average of two to three lies.
"People tell a considerable number of lies in everyday conversation. It was a very surprising result. We didn't expect lying to be such a common part of daily life," Feldman said.



Why We Lie | LiveScience
Why We Lie

By Robin Lloyd, Special to LiveScience

We all lie, all the time. It causes problems, to say the least. So why do we do it?
It boils down to the shifting sands of the self and trying to look good both to ourselves and others, experts say.



Girl there are a gazillion hits on the percentage of human beings that lie.. I could go on and on for ever....

 

[TISH1124]

Yes girl I know you are a research and debate Geek...

But I stand by my Not all Men or Most men that I know Cheat...Not all women nor most that I know are Faithful and Not all or most people that I know Lie....

I agree the urge is there most of the time for most sexually active men....But the good thing is I am there most times when those urges come up and most times I am the cause of them so it works out for my particular relationship.

But you will be going on and on forever alone on this particular debate this time chica ...because it's about Urge time up ova here

 

[ShugAvery2001]

Here is what the scientific community has stated regarding men cheating

Recent studies reveal that 45-55% of married women and 50-60% of married men engage in extramarital sex at some time or another during their relationship (Atwood & Schwartz, 2002 - Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy)

• -2 out of 3 women and 3 out of 4 men admit they have sexual thoughts about co-workers.
• -86% of men and 81% of women admit they routinely flirt with the opposite sex.
• -75% of men and 65% of women admit to having sex with people they work with.

Conservative infidelity statistics estimate that “60 percent of men and 40 percent of women will have an extramarital affair. These figures are even more significant when we consider the total number of marriages involved, since it's unlikely that all the men and women having affairs happen to be married to each other. If even half of the women having affairs (or 20 percent) are married to men not included in the 60 percent having affairs, then at least one partner will have an affair in approximately 80 percent of all marriages. With this many marriages affected, it's unreasonable to think affairs are due only to the failures and shortcomings of individual husbands or wives."


I try to base my opinions off some type of science as well as personal experience. My dad cheated.. My grand dad cheated... All of my uncles cheated. At least 70% of my cousins are confirmed cheats.
The now retired pastor of my church was recently "accused" of cheating
Many of the men I've known through work have cheated
A married guy has been hitting on me for the last year. I told him I don't like married guys but he still calls even when I ignore his calls. I'm sure given the opportunity he would cheat

Again .. alpha males.. I never said all men.. none of the studies say all men.. but hell all men aren't even straight.. so .. you know hey.

 

[TISH1124]

Ladies...Trust your man...and don't let others put doubt in your relationships based on their beliefs or opinions. If you constantly think your man will cheat on you...you are basically giving him the go ahead to do so. there are plenty of good men out there that not only will respect you but will also respect their commitment to you. In this day and age...There are too many diseases out there that latch on and don't let go and men & women do think differently than they did before AIDS, HIV and such . Trust &Communication is Key!

 

[Lapis]

My mom used to say the same thing I do believe that most men will cheat if the opportunity is there, my aunt's dh had an affair that they only had sex in his lunch hour once a week no contact outside of that besides a call to set up the time and day!

Personally I'm from the caribbean the men think they need to prove they are dogs! my dad cheated, my step dd did, my FIL has 3 kids that are younger than my dh and he's been with my MIL nearly 40 years

She left his ass and can't stand him, and I'm totally on her side, my dh actually begs me not to tear his dad a new one cause he made dh promise never to talk about the other kids!


Luckily my dh has aspergers, he's daft as to hints even from me! This saves us because when women are trying to slide in he puts them in the "friends" box and they get tired after a while because he doesn't get the hints

That said if he cheated I know I am strong enough to get thru it, I don't think his bank account is tho

 

[blinkymei]

this is random but I heard of a study done that said some men cheat because of some biological, predisposed reason... isn't that whack?

I'm not saying this is a reason for why men cheat and this is okay/logical explanation of why men cheat, but I think that it is weird...

anywho, anyone can cheat, it just depends whether they're willing to do it and how that'll affect their "soul" or conscience or whatever. Cheating can either be physical (having the s.e.x or making out, etc) or emotional (flirting, "we're just talking baby, it's not like I'm sleeping with the guy/girl")... it depends on the couple whether they'll accept it or not or whether they trust their other half or not... in reality, it's best that couples be upfront about what's okay or not or else sh!t will hit the ceiling fan... of course, everything said is easier than done.

My other 2 cents...
life is short and so live it, don't get caught up in the drama, our population is huge, there are many guys out there.

 

[TISH1124]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lapis if he cheated I know I am strong enough to get thru it, I don't think his bank account is tho

Amen!! Same here...Lord knows he would hurt bad...after c/s alimony...and keeping me living in the manner I am accustomed to living...while being unemployed. He truly knows it is cheaper to keep her!

That was too funny