Mothers crossing the line?

[frocher]

.........

 

[meiming]

I completely agree with this! You see this even in daily life of people who are not stars. They are so shy to discipline in fear of being on their children's bad sides that the kids are monsters when they are little and completely out of control as they grow up!

 

[Shimmer]

I could rant about this for days.

 

[M.A.C. head.]

Healthy balance will do.

 

[purrtykitty]

I really think that's why you see so many out-of-control kids today. When you have children you bear the responsibility of ensuring that your children are able to be healthy, functioning members of society, not teachers, daycare providers, scout leaders, neighbors, or other relatives. If your kid flies off the handle everytime he/she doesn't get his/her way - there's something wrong. If you want friends then open your address book - don't breed them. In the end, you will have happy, well-balanced adult children who can be your friend then.

 

[persephonewillo]

Quote:

Originally Posted by M.A.C. head. Healthy balance will do.

ITA.

and i have to say that i know a few people who are afraid to discipline their kids in public for fear of someone reporting them to the children's aid. for saying "no" sternly to their child. i mean, we're encouraged not to spank our children (which i agree with to an extent), raising our voices has become taboo... so if our children don't listen when we're talking normally to them, what then? do we cross the line into the new taboos or do we try to get through to them on a different level (like that of a friend)?

so i wonder if the new "best friend" mothers might also be the product of fear of strangers/the authorities accusing them of abuse if they DO act like mothers... kwim?

 

[SparklingWaves]

There's a lot of truth there.

In the family's from divorce, you might have Disneyland dad's. So, some fathers are equally as guilty of this too. I don't want to digress off the point on the moms, so I will stop here.

 

[purrtykitty]

Quote:

Originally Posted by SparklingWaves There's a lot of truth there. In the family's from divorce, you might have Disneyland dad's. So, some fathers are equally as guilty of this too. I don't want to digress off the point on the moms, so I will stop here.

Yes that is true...this really should apply to parents in general. But, I'm guessing moms are more prone to this?

 

[Simply Elegant]

I kind of agree with this. But, my mom is my best friend and my mother. When she doesn't have an issue with me, we're friends, but if she needs to step in and tell me she doesn't like what I'm doing, she'll let me know too, but we're more like equals because I'm older now. It can be a good thing for a mother and daughter to be friends because it helps keep open communication but mothers shouldn't be afraid to appropriately discipline their children when needed. I just don't think it's always a bad thing.

 

[blazeno.8]

This describes so many of the parents (generally mothers) of the kids at the high school where I went. Dear god.

 

[AmberLilith]

Would just like to ask where you're quoting this from? Could you post a link?
No offence, just interested in the source of the article that's all.

 

[frocher]

...........

 

[SparklingWaves]

Deleted Post.

 

[Shimmer]

Quote:

Mothers can not do that.

I have to wholeheartedly 100% without any reservations at all disagree with you on this point.

I do believe, however, that fathers are a major part of a child's life.

 

[M.A.C. head.]

Quote:

Originally Posted by persephonewillo ITA. and i have to say that i know a few people who are afraid to discipline their kids in public for fear of someone reporting them to the children's aid. for saying "no" sternly to their child. i mean, we're encouraged not to spank our children (which i agree with to an extent), raising our voices has become taboo... so if our children don't listen when we're talking normally to them, what then? do we cross the line into the new taboos or do we try to get through to them on a different level (like that of a friend)? so i wonder if the new "best friend" mothers might also be the product of fear of strangers/the authorities accusing them of abuse if they DO act like mothers... kwim?

I know EXACTLY what you mean, and I call BS!!! I have a love/hate relationship with physical discipline, so I've resolved to use it only as a very last resort, and for extreme cases only. If someone said that they were going to call CPS because I spanked my child, I'd tell them "go ahead".

Back to the OP though:

There are three basic styles of parenting. 1) detached, 2) authoritative, 30) authoritarian. You can do your own research if you want to, I don't want to bore you all with an essay [though I've already started LOL]. Anyway, authoritative parenting entails balancing friendship and trust with rules, respect and discipline. As you've stated, parenting that is too lenient is not beneficial for anyone; but neither is purely strict parenting. Kids from strict homes usually end up with poor socializing skills, or they get away from home [like leaving for college] and they go bananas.

I think parents need to work on finding that happy medium and knowing when to be a friend and when to be a parent.

 

[M.A.C. head.]

Quote:

Originally Posted by SparklingWaves Mothers can not do that. Sorry.

Speak for yourself, please.

I know MANY mothers who can strike fear with just a GLANCE.

 

[SparklingWaves]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shimmer I have to wholeheartedly 100% without any reservations at all disagree with you on this point. I do believe, however, that fathers are a major part of a child's life.

I knew you would.

You are dissecting a sentence within the frame work of the context. My dad, his father, his father's father, his uncles would make women quake and make other men move.

And, yes, I will speak for myself. I have never in my life met a woman with this energy. Never.

 

[SparklingWaves]

Quote:

Originally Posted by M.A.C. head. Speak for yourself, please. I know MANY mothers who can strike fear with just a GLANCE.

I am speaking for myself. I have never met a woman who put fear into people like men. NEVER.

 

[Shimmer]

I didn't take it out of context, you made a general statement, saying 'mothers can't do that'.

That's not correct. Your mother may not have been able to, but other mothers can and do.

 

[Shimmer]

Quote:

Originally Posted by SparklingWaves I am speaking for myself. I have never met a woman who put fear into people like men. NEVER.

Please don't confuse fear and respect. They're not one and the same.