Originally Posted by Shimmer
fear ... re·spect |
| Originally Posted by Shimmer
And, of course as that balance is being maneuvered, the next challenge becomes "When do you let them fall, and when do you catch them before they hit the ground?" So many kids today aren't taught to deal with failure or 'not being good enough' on any level that once adulthood is reached, they're truly clueless about how to handle themselves and utterly lacking in coping skills. |
| Originally Posted by lizardprincesa
Peace, Shimmer. Please? Not everyone's experience is the same, and you know that, being an intelligent human being. |
| Originally Posted by Shimmer
I could answer, and I did, quite plainly, but you wouldn't understand or grasp it. I don't speak backpedal, or paranoia, or floo floos and rainbows and bunny rabbits. I never have and I never will. You made a post (actually several posts) about your family. Anyone with basic 4th grade reading comprehension could quite readily infer any number of points based on the information provided. I don't choose to do that, but I did, do, and will stand by my statement that your point that "Mothers can't do that" and "Women can't do that" is incorrect, as is the statement that fear and respect are alike. THAT is what I disagree with you on, the rest of that tripe? Couldn't care less about your family life, your mother, your father, or any of the other people you deal with daily. As for respect...well. That's another thread entirely. |
| Originally Posted by Trunkmonkey
Dependant on the familial structure in an individual home either the male or the female can be dominant. I have known families where the men were firmly in charge and others where the female was the disciplinarian. |
| Originally Posted by purrtykitty
It really will be interesting to see what types of parents my husband and I will be when the time comes. I really hope to foster an environement of openness, growth, respect, trust, responsibility, and love...but I'm sure that's easier said than done. |
| Originally Posted by Shimmer
I don't have to think I know your family, and it's ridiculous that you're acting like I personally attacked you, when I didn't. |
| I responded to something you said in your post that was a sweeping though wholly inaccurate generalization. YOU said your mother couldn't move people the way your father did, not me. YOU said your father was the one in control, not me. |
| You're the one getting bent out of shape because you think your family has been attacked when in all reality, it hasn't. That's neither my fault nor my concern. |
| My only intent, originally, was to disagree with something that was blatantly inaccurate in your post. I don't give a rat's whether your family was a real life imitation of Wally and the Beav, or the diametric opposite, and I'm not going to presume or assume anything about your family other than what you've stated here and now in this thread. |
| Originally Posted by *Stargazer*
Respectfully, given that you've just posted that you have no idea what was in that post since the post was deleted (which I have to say is pretty sad), where does this even come from? |
| Originally Posted by purrtykitty
So true, my mother was the primary disciplinarian. My dad stepped in if she was gone, but when both my parents were home, she's the one who doled out the punishment. My husband's father, on the other hand, was the one who did the punishing in his family. It will be interesting to see how we approach the topic of punishment once we have children. It really will be interesting to see what types of parents my husband and I will be when the time comes. I really hope to foster an environment of openness, growth, respect, trust, responsibility, and love...but I'm sure that's easier said than done. |
| Originally Posted by *Stargazer*
Parenting is so weird. You start out thinking you are going to do X and NEVER do Y and then you actually have a child and you realize how silly you were. It is probably easier said that done, as you say, but if you go into parenting with those goals it makes it SO much easier to do it. My DH did not have a great experience with his parents so he came into our marriage with the idea that he knew what not to do. It's worked really well for him, he's a great parent to our kids because he knows how to be a bad one, if that makes any sense. I guess what I'm saying is that it is really good to have an idea of the kind of parent you want to be and the kind of atmosphere you want to create but you might end up changing the game plan to accomplish those things. Which isn't a bad thing, just something I didn't know before I had kids. |
| Originally Posted by Shimmer
I didn't realize, prior to having kids, how adaptable a parent had to be to every situation. Everything is different based on the kid's personalities and maturity. It's really kind of interesting from an objective position.
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| Originally Posted by *Stargazer*
You are so right. That's something else I didn't even realize. I have to parent my daughters in two completely different manners given their polar opposite personalities. I think the best analogy I can give is that of spinning plates. |
| Originally Posted by Shimmer
See, we have 4 *very* different personalities in our household when it comes to the younglings, and while the rules are the same for all of them, the delivery and punitive measures are handled differently based on each personality. And 4 personalities is a LOT!
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| Originally Posted by V15U4L_3RR0R
However as this is the Daily Heil, I do have to take everything it says with a pinch of salt. |
| Originally Posted by *Stargazer*
I can already tell that the baby is going to be just totally different from the girls. (You'd be totally surprised to see how big he's gotten since Oct, btw. He's a linebacker in the making.) I can see I'm going to have to re-adapt to incorporate him in the playbook. |
| Originally Posted by Shimmer
My girl's gotten older and I want to find a rock to hide her under until she grows out of the difficult phase. |
| Originally Posted by *Stargazer*
Joy. I get two for the price of one. I just know they are going to hit that phase at the same time since they are so close in age. I guess it will be payback for everything I put my parents through
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