sex..

[Alexa]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Corv's Queen I think that if you even have to ask if you'r ready for it then you are most certainly NOT ready for it.

i agree. i'm the only one out of all of my friends that hasn't had sex and i couldn't be more happy. mentally i know i'll be ready when the time comes but it probably wont be happening for a couple more years and i'm fine with that

 

[Dreamergirl3]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chelly you'll know when its the right time. i waited till i was 19.. and i was with my boyfriend for a month (and im still with him 2 years later )

Me too! my bf and I weren't even officially together but we were "dating" for about a month when we had sex (we were both virgins) , and we're goin on three years!

 

[Chelly]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dreamergirl3 Me too! my bf and I weren't even officially together but we were "dating" for about a month when we had sex (we were both virgins) , and we're goin on three years!

aww thats so sweet!!!! yea i was a virgin but my boyfriend most definatly was not - i'm not even sure how many girls he's been with but as long as he's clean and ONLY with me thats all that matters ya know?!

congrats on 3 years thats amazing!!!

 

[caRpediEm17]

alright so new question here...my mom and i are reeeally close, i tell her everything, whether its good or bad...i want to let her know im thinking about having sex, but im juSs soo scared of what shes going to say or think or do..does anyone have any insight on how i can go about telling her? cuz i mean when the time comes that im gonna have sex i want to be on birth control and i want her to come with me...thanks guys!

 

[Chelly]

Quote:

Originally Posted by caRpediEm17 alright so new question here...my mom and i are reeeally close, i tell her everything, whether its good or bad...i want to let her know im thinking about having sex, but im juSs soo scared of what shes going to say or think or do..does anyone have any insight on how i can go about telling her? cuz i mean when the time comes that im gonna have sex i want to be on birth control and i want her to come with me...thanks guys!

before we even go any further

how old are you

 

[caRpediEm17]

im 16...yeah it might seem young, but whatever ya know?

 

[Hawkeye]

You know I'm very happy that you have such a great relationship with your mom.

It's a very special thing!

I think you are really wise to want to talk to her also.

The only thing you need to realize is that it will be hard for her because you're her baby! It'll be hard to let you grow up.

I think you really need to talk to her and get her thoughts/opinions on this

 

[Chelly]

Quote:

Originally Posted by caRpediEm17 im 16...yeah it might seem young, but whatever ya know?

no not at all - just curious is all

you shoul def talk to your mom about it if your comfortable doing so ya know? i never would have talked to my mom bout that kinda stuff... well up until recently now i dont care anymore lol

 

[caRpediEm17]

The only thing you need to realize is that it will be hard for her because you're her baby! It'll be hard to let you grow up. QUOTE]


yeah i know, thats why im nervous to talk to her about it..but today i talked to her about putting me on birth control and told her it was because a friend of mine is on it and she is waiting for marriage...its juSs a safety precaution, juSs in case something DOES happen...and i mean that is the complete truth, but its juSs going to be hard for me to talk to her about actually HAVING sex..thanks so much for all the help you guys! i really do appreciate you taking the time to help me and respond...

 

[serendipityii]

I went to Planned Parenthood to get my birth control... that way, I didn't have to have "that talk".

My boyfriend and I were only together for 2+ weeks, and I lost my virginity to him... that was over 3 years ago.

It's hard to say when someone should have sex... I think you just know. But honestly though, I built up my virginity so much by saying I was gonna save it and it was a big deal to me... but after I lost it, it wasn't such a big deal. I don't know if it was because of the experience or because it was my boyfriend, but it changed my perspective on sex.

 

[caRpediEm17]

alright heres an update, and some more help is needed!!

alright so i talked to my mom and im going in for my birth control like march 28th...im really happy cuz she took it really well and was happy that i came to her first...

problem: i truly am ready to have sex now...it might sound really sudden but i honestly juSs woke up the other morning and realized that i was ready...the thing is, march 28th is like 2 weeks away and plus having to wait for the hormones to work, its juSs so far away...im juSs thinking of using a condom...i know its not 100% safe, but i feel its the best decision...

what do you think i should do? should i juSs hold back and wait til like april or when the time is right, juSs use a condom? my only fear is getting pregnant and i know that there is ALWAYS a chance that that could happen...im so torn right now, help!

 

[Hawkeye]

lol its a biological time clock it really is.

Well the wisest thing to do would be to wait until you got your BC pills and the hormones to take affect. But its totally up to you babe

 

[kaliraksha]

well if it's both of your first times... then you can worry less about STDs... but for a guy at least... ive heard and i believe... it feels a lot different without a condom... so you might want to wait.. then again for me its kind of a selling point... my boyfriend wouldnt have sex with anyone else using a condom (if we ever broke up) because he doesnt trust that they will tell him where they have been.. and being that when we first started having sex it was with a condom... he definitely knows the difference and likes that i take birth control for him and for me.

just a thought... i honestly say wait... you've waited 16 yrs... what is two more weeks? plus think of all the hot almost there build up you can have! once you start having sex... all of that.. no matter how long you induldge in it.. matters a little less and its just a prequel to the big show.

 

[bAbY_cHiCkEn01]

I think you should wait, that way you will know if you really are ready instead of just jumping in and then going oops...I know how it feels, I felt like I needed to have sex and when I did, as you know I regret it now... so my thoughts are to wait... and yes condoms can break etc etc so theres another reason to wait until you have your pills and they kick in, because you CAN get preggers on your first go and thats a major thing to deal with at your age... and BTW good going on telling your mom... even though she might have been freaked, at least she now knows your having sex safely with the right precautions that being like some girls and going for it and their parents not knowing. You did the right thing

 

[Life In Return]

I still say, wait til you get married. Why give that to someone who may not be around for the rest of your life ? Truly, why do you want to have sex ? If your feelings and emotions are based on physical intimacy, then that's a false sense of security in it. Wait til you're married... That way, if you do get pregnant, there's no sense of regret and 'impending doom'... That way, you can celebrate rather than lament.

 

[kaliraksha]

Herm, I feel like I could be married and still not want a kid! I mean I may be selfish but I want to spend YEARS enjoying my husband before I have to share him with a wee one.

 

[caRpediEm17]

well if it's both of your first times... then you can worry less about STDs... but for a guy at least... ive heard and i believe... it feels a lot different without a condom...

just a thought... i honestly say wait... you've waited 16 yrs... what is two more weeks? QUOTE]

no its not his first time, but trust me ive already asked him straight up if he has any STDs and he was juSs like HELL NO! and hes not the type of guy to joke or lie about that either...but yeah he said its better for him without the condom, but even WITH the birth control i kinda wanted to use a condom, would that be dumb?

also, once i receive the birth control, doesnt it take like a month or something for the hormones to set in?

 

[bAbY_cHiCkEn01]

Quote:

Originally Posted by kaliraksha Herm, I feel like I could be married and still not want a kid! I mean I may be selfish but I want to spend YEARS enjoying my husband before I have to share him with a wee one.

I completely agree with this, hell yeah you may be married and become preggers but that can still be a problem... should'nt you want to enjoy your husband all to yourself for the next 5 years at least, so I'm sorry but I don't really agree with the statement you should wait until your married... I believe it CAN be more special, but that's how you look at sex. If you're not terribly fussed with it, then marriage ain't gonna do anything, sex is sex... the only thing that changes sex, I believe, is whether it's with somebody you're truely in love with or not... To me marriage is wasted anywayz, so many people become divorced these days and marriage is no longer "sacred" in my eyes. for eg look at Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey, Jess waited until marriage and now look at them, 3 years later - DIVORCE! It's up to EACH INDIVIDUAL, do this for you and NO ONE else!

(sorry to get off topic for a lil' bit)...

AND GIRLY NO WAY SHOULD YOU NOT USE A CONDOM - EVEN IF HE SAYS HES CLEAN!!! He could be lying, he may not be, but some guys can and do lie... ESPECIALLY if he says he doesn't like to use condoms... sweetie, doing so without condoms sets up for more possible problems than it's worth at your age... Youre wise to want to have sex with a condom. DO NOT let him pressure you into NOT using one... He's not worth it if he insists or dumps you over it etc.

 

[bAbY_cHiCkEn01]

oh and it takes about a week or so to kick in from experience

If he doesn't like using condoms, use extra thin ones or something... but NEVER go without...

 

[caRpediEm17]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Life In Return I still say, wait til you get married. Why give that to someone who may not be around for the rest of your life ? Truly, why do you want to have sex ? If your feelings and emotions are based on physical intimacy, then that's a false sense of security in it. Wait til you're married... That way, if you do get pregnant, there's no sense of regret and 'impending doom'... That way, you can celebrate rather than lament.

i dont know what the rest of my life is going to be like, but i know that right now i can picture this guy being with me until i die...he is amazing and i couldnt imagine being with anyone else...i respect your decision to wait til marriage, but that is not the decision i have made for myself...but thank you for your opinion