Shop-a-holism - It's ruining my life!

[iluffyew769769]

Quote:

Originally Posted by KikiB I am definitely a shopaholic of the highest degree-partially because I don't pay any bills and partially because I never really had money when I was in school, so now that I graduated high school and so forth I am able to buy things I want. I am trying to get a lot better. The first advantage that I have is that I am not allowed to have credit cards-just a debit-since I still live at home. I definitely think it is a good thing for me, because it would be too tempting to go out and shop. The second one is that I can realize that if I keep going in this path, it will be a bad way to go, so I can fix my ways faster. The final one is that I want to move out onto my own, and I look at my paychecks and I realize that I don't make enough to cover a month's rent at an AVERAGE apartment in the area. Not to mention having my bank statements come fills me with dread. I am lucky though that my mum pays for my bus pass, but even if I had to pay for it myself, it's $81 a month and I can pretty much go anywhere in the Puget Sound area. $81 is what it can cost to fill the tank on some cars. What I am trying to do is the following: -Cut down on my makeup purchases. I'm limiting myself to MAC, or if there is nothing from MAC that I like, the GWP for a different brand (as long as the makeup is stuff I would use). It is difficult though because I do want to become a makeup artist someday, and so I find it easier to justify buying a new traincase (on sale, for $20) or brush set ($33 at the CCO) because it's for my future. -Not buying clothes except for work clothes (because sometimes I just don't have time to do laundry every week) and non-work skirts and shorts and pants...when I look in my closet there are several shirts, still tagged. Yeah, ouch. -Try and cut down on my Starbucks habit. It is one of the things I see as being a necessary daily thing, but I could also grab a bite to eat from home instead of buying a bagel there, or grabbing a soda instead of a frap if it's in the afternoon. What my friend is doing is saving money-a good chunk from every paycheck-and then using it on a shopping excursion when the Forever XXI opens at our mall. I plan on trying to cut down on my payday spending-the spending just because I now have money in my account. I don't need to go into VS every payday. Heck, I probably have enough crap that I never use (just things) and such that I could have my own garage sale. Then use the money from that to put towards whatever I want my future ambitions to be.

Just a suggestion, but when I was looking to move out of my parents house I found it really helpful to sell some of the stuff I never wore/used on ebay. My MAC collection used to be much much bigger and I used the money I got from that to buy a couch and dishes and such. I kept all my pigments because I have an attachment to them, but I sold a ton of clothes and purses and stuff. Hope that helps!

 

[ginger9]

I can relate to what you're going through. I am a bargain shopper when I see a great deal I can totally lose control. I end up buying stuff I don't need and too much of it. Many times goes to waste because it doesn't get used or worn.

Here's a few additions to already great suggestions mentioned here
.
1. Make a list of EVERYTHING you own. It will surprise you to see how much you have on paper. When you get an urge to buy another Coral blush - pull out your list and check out all the Coral/Peach blushes you already own and ask yourself - do I really NEED this. Will it just sit there like all the other unused blushes? (repeat if necessary).

2. When it comes to clothes and accessories - again organize everything so you can see or know what you have. Then make it a game or a design challenge. Try to make up different looks and outfits with your existing wardrobe. Wear items creatively. ie. a scarf used as a belt, roll up your skinnies to make them look like capri pants, be creative with layering etc, etc.

3. Try to find activities that will curb your shopping urge. Washing your car was a great example! Personally I find Specktra kinda fills my urges - I like to look at the Traincase and Hauls section and find this highly satisfying!

Good luck! You can do it

 

[Simply Elegant]

My parents took away my card and it was one of the best things they've ever done for me. I owe about $3500 right now and have around half saved up. They give it to me if I really need it but won't let me go spending all my savings on things that I don't need. Occasionally I do get to spend on things I want but not every second day like it used to be when I always had it on me.

 

[KikiB]

Quote:

Originally Posted by iluffyew769769 Just a suggestion, but when I was looking to move out of my parents house I found it really helpful to sell some of the stuff I never wore/used on ebay. My MAC collection used to be much much bigger and I used the money I got from that to buy a couch and dishes and such. I kept all my pigments because I have an attachment to them, but I sold a ton of clothes and purses and stuff. Hope that helps!

I am not allowed to sell on eBay, if I do I would lose my job (our company has a policy against selling on eBay). However it is a decent idea. I am lucky in that when I move out, I will already have a lot of stuff because my parents inheirited two estates-a full set of dishes, china, a lot of kitchenware, some chairs, and so forth. My parents have also said they will buy me a set of flatware, and the local Fred Meyer does a B2G1 on open stock cookware fairly frequently. We've actually been preparing for me to move out for years-as in getting stuff ready. Not to mention the parents always get tons of useless cookware so they are more than happy most of the time to get rid of some, or promise me some!

 

[DirtyPlum]

ugh... i feel sick. I have just had a shocking weekend of spending. So glad I found this thread.

It started on Thursday when I bought some NScifi stuff from Mac and then it just spiralled... I ended up buying 5 PAIRS OF SHOES (WTF), one dress, one scarf, 3 rings, one necklace, bangles - and then I ordered some stuff from BBrown...!

This isnt a one -off. I just dont know what to do. My whole life just goes by with a mental shopping list in my head ...constantly. there is always something I convince myself that I need... right now its this pretty dress I saw whilst i was out shopping. i dont need it, but its so so pretty.

Last week it was ''must check out sexy black shoes'' for cousins wedding...

I do have two jobs (one office job and MAC on Saturdays) and no bills to pay cos im living at home with my parents. I do have money saved up and try my hardest to save each month but then my spending is just getting ridiculous.

I go through phases of products... a while back i loved my earrings and bought loads of those... i dont really wear earrings anymore (got bored i guess) and then it was long necklaces and now its rings...
and i am always in the MU and shoes phase...

Its a tiny bit comforting that there are others out there but it doesnt make things better. I am seriously going to make a pact to do the following:

***I like ginger9s suggestions above about writing a list of everything I have and questioning whether I need yet another black dress or coral lipgloss...

***I guess I can avoid shops and if I do get the urge, just walk around a shop rather than actually focussing on one pair of shoes/particular product so I feel that i have been shopping and checked out whats available but not necessarily have bought something.

***I also need to steer clear of some online shops like asos.com

***Sorry, but I may have to stop reading some specktra threads - particularly the new collection ones, so i dont get too excited abt particular products and become fixated and think they are must haves

***I have sold some MU on here recently so its quite good

***Get all my products/shoes/jewellry out so I can see what I have and actually use it/wear it

***Take my sister shopping with me - shes sensible!

Any one else want to join me and see if we can not spend money for a whole month?? I'm gonna start tomorrow... along with my healthy eating plans. Please help me

 

[pumpkincat210]

Is there a group therapy you can go to?
In the states we have debtors anonymous which treats spending addictions.
I admit i spend spend spend. Its really bad with me and i'm seriously considering trying out a meeting and seeing if it helps. good luck!

 

[Tinkee-Belle]

I am the same way and agree that it is really an ADDICTION. I feel the urge to buy something new almost everyday, weather it be clothes, makeup, or housewears. I have no debt and a really well paying job, but I am spending about $1000 a week when I could be saving up for a house or soemthing. I have always been like this, and when its late at night and I cant go somewhere I online shop. I think probably one of my reasons I do it so much is because I dont really have a hobby during the day... I work nights so I find myself bored at home while my family and friends all work during the day. Everyday I end up at a store because hey... its something to do. I am never satisfied with what I have... even if I spend a grand in one day I will get the feeling of needing to do it again in about 2 days. Even my friends and family agree that it is an addiction... but in my moms words "theres worse ones you can have than a shopping addiction." I am not hurting anyone and I spend all my own money (never CCs... except online) So hey.. Im not too worried about it. OH and another thing.. I HATE shopping with anyone other than my mom... I would rather shop alone than with friends. Its weird lol its like im doing something naughty and want to hide it from them!

Sorry I dont have any advice on how to stop!!! I could really use some too lol

 

[M.A.C. head.]

From reading through the posts, I can see how there's a spectrum with the addiction.

Tinkee-Belle for instance, one of her issues is dollar amount.

For someone like me, it's the rush and the chase. I was trying to purchase something online once, but it's a hot product, so they ship in and sell out super quickly. I felt like I sat and stared at the computer and clicked "refresh" for like a week straight. I HAD to know exactly when they were in because I just HAD TO HAVE THEM! It was BAD.

 

[newagetomatoz]

Quote:

Originally Posted by DirtyPlum ... ***Take my sister shopping with me - shes sensible! Any one else want to join me and see if we can not spend money for a whole month?? I'm gonna start tomorrow... along with my healthy eating plans. Please help me

I love taking my sister shopping with me! When were in, say Charlotte Russe, she'll go off and do her thing while I'll do mine, but we both check each other at the end when we ask each other for their opinions.

And when it comes to makeup, she is really good! Like on Sunday, I was at my CCO and they had all but Studio Finish concealer for somewhere between $10 adn $10.75. I really wanted to get some but she was like, "How many do you have already? How many do most people have? You're going to be broke! You just spent $90 already and you don't have a job!" And she even gets this nasty impatient tone which helps me refrain from buying.

Right now, my goal is to buy no more makeup for the vary least until either Sonic Chich or Electroflash come out. I really need to evaluate my collection.

And DirtyPlum, I would love to join you! I really need to eat healthy again. I lost 40, but then gained 15 back since February.

Thank god its summer, though!

 

[DirtyPlum]

Quote:

Originally Posted by newagetomatoz Right now, my goal is to buy no more makeup for the vary least until either Sonic Chich or Electroflash come out. I really need to evaluate my collection. And DirtyPlum, I would love to join you! I really need to eat healthy again. I lost 40, but then gained 15 back since February. Thank god its summer, though!

Ur on, girlfriend!

 

[thehannahband]

Like the other girls said, I'd bring someone thats sensible to go shopping with you.

Also, you could always start clipping coupons for food items and if you HAVE to order something online you can at least find an ecoupon to pay for the shipping

 

[kaliraksha]

I had that problem... I was in serious debt because I shopped to cure boredom, sadness, to celebrate, the list goes on. I noticed that I got mine from my Mom... she always instilled those values in me. At first I stopped myself by doing the trite "write-everything-you-spend" journal and it helped me realize where I spent all my money and I was shocked... I was spending more than I made. It's not an easy process but I look at my Mom at her age and she still isn't financially secure and it causes her and our family a lot of stress and I just don't want to be there.

Best of luck to you!

 

[pat]

I think most of us have been down this road before. As for myself, I'm a shop-a-holic. I know it, and I know it very well that I am. hahah... Every time I go to the mall, or anywhere I always end up buying something. I buy makeup at MAC all the time, and now I have all these ls and lg in a bag that has only been used once or twice.
I think I'm a compulsive spender too. Most of the time, I'll buy something then end up returning it because I feel bad that I spend x amount of money on an item. My boyfriend makes fun of me because he knows that when I buy something I might end up returning it. haha... It's sad...

I hate that I have a hard time saving money, but I think I've become a bit wiser when spending my money at MAC (note:I said a BIT) hahahaha... I swear, I need to get my spending in control or else I'll be broke!

 

[JustDivine]

I am so in on this.

I am going to start keeping a diary of what I spend....because I spend too much on stuff I don't need and there is no limit to my spending. I am not the kind of person that even considers saving up for something! I feel a bit sorry that I have no financial discipline.

My mum is begging me that now I am getting older I need to be wiser with my money...true!!

So what I have decided is:
1. I have more than enough makeup. I have a short wishlist that I will stick to, and limit myself to essential pieces from the new collections. I know what is coming between now and Christmas and I have put that on the list. I will buy a limited number of things each month, so I have something to look forward to, don't feel deprived but don't splurge all at once.

2. I need to focus on my wardrobe!! I will be going through and evaluatiing what I have, what I feel I need and how to wear the stuff I already have. I will stop buying throwaway pieces but stuff that is lasting (past one wash!) and versatile. In order to do this I will need to....

3. Save up for things instead of buying impulsively and putting on the CC. That way I will feel much more fulfilled and able to buy things that are quality, plus spend much more wisely (as you do when you have spent time saving up for something)

4. Leave my CC at home because I never encounter an emergency that my current account cannot address.

5. Reduce my overdraft to £500 asap from £1250, and possibly to £250 if I can manage it. I want to get into a position where I am spending only my own money, and if I don't have, I can't spend!!

6. Save and invest more money in my ISA.

7. Learn how to shop in the sales, but shop with a list of things I need rather than getting carried away by cheap clothes.

8. After 1 year (this time next year will be my birthday and graduation) I will reward myself by treating myself to a glam holiday or expensive shoes/handbag that I will be saving for from now!

 

[Sanayhs]

I have a friend who had his CC taken away by his mother because he ran up too much debt. Instead, he developed a shoplifting addiction. He steals because he can, not because he needs to. He'll steal huge quantities of groceries and not even eat half, so on and so forth. It makes my stomach churn.

I have a shopping problem, yes, but I'm not off stealing food. I was going along just peachy until my job vanished (the place I worked shut down). I got a new job, and they put me constantly on call for about a month. I've run up $900-$1000 on my CC. I have a couple hundred in my chequing, but I need that for rent (that, and this week's paycheque).

My shopping addiction started when my entire life was falling apart... every aspect was a stressful disaster, so I got addicted to clothes and makeup. If I look pretty, everything is better, right?

I'm getting better, but I still crack and spend a couple hundred dollars here and there. I'm determined to pay this off ASAP, though. I think (much as it pains me), I may skip Cool Heat entirely. I don't deserve it, I can't afford it.

Also, the Clearance Bin on here is a dreadful enabler.

 

[Hilly]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sanayhs , the Clearance Bin on here is a dreadful enabler.

Girl I hear you on that!

 

[stv578]

Edie, this is a great thread. And to ALL the ladies that have offered suggestions on ways to curtail our spending, thank you, they are very very helpful ideas and one's that I intend on exploring myself.

It also does take some courage for us to admit that our shopping habits may be problematic. Isn't it at AA where they say admitting to your addiction is the first step to recovery?! Well... I too have had a horrible time at saying no to things. I'm quite petite, so it's hard to find clothes or shoes, let alone once things go on sale. Having said that, because I don't spend a ton on shoes, and don't go really crazy with clothes, make-up has been my go to feel good habit for years. My second really bad habit is Starbuck's, (which seems harmless when it's just $4 here and there, but it really adds up quickly) and my newest addiction is buying clothes for my baby girl. I wasn't too bad when my son was born, but the stuff they have for girls is insanely irresistible

. Being on an extended mat leave actually made matters worse. At first I was quite good, and tried to save money for the additional year to come, but during the cold months when I would take my kids to the mall just to get out really fuelled my addiction. My husband has recently become quite frustrated with the never-ending patterns that he sees.

I could go on and on, but all of you already know the down-side to what seems like a harmless addiction. It may affect us all in different ways, but in the end, it still affects us.

I will try and incorporate the suggestions on here into my daily routine to see if I can't get things more controlled. I agree that depriving ourselves completely is pointless, i've tried that and just ended spending even more. Kind of like a binge drinker.

Good luck everyone!

 

[User49]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beauty Mark Save Karyn - Home has some good ideas. I don't recommend asking people online for money, because I think it's too trite now. However, she has some decent ideas about other ways she saved herself.

Incidentally have any of you read Saving Karyn? I thought it was a brilliant idea and wish I had done it first!!! The book is so good.

Something that worked for me and my bf for a little while was having four weekly envelopes. At the begining of the month we put in 20£each in week 1, 2, 3 and 4 and then sealed the envelopes!!! This meant we had enough for food and if any was left over, some for going out with friends for a drink. I find budgeting relentlessly boring and hard to stick to so by doing this it sorts out the food side of things.

Also pay all your bills first and get all the boring money issues out of the way. I suppose the best way to think of it is like this...

I spent so much money (I'm not even going to tell how much) and now when I get paid over £200 of my wage goes out on credit cards and store cards to pay them back... did I mention that is JUST the minimum payments? To actually make any curb at this huge debt I'd have to pay off a lot more. So if it seems like a good idea at the time, just think about one year from now, if you keep going at that rate, you are going to be earning a lot less from your hard work because it all goes out on payments. It's very disheartening. A lesson I had to learn the hard way!

 

[Sanayhs]

Quote:

Originally Posted by stv578 it's hard to find clothes or shoes, let alone once things go on sale. Having said that, because I don't spend a ton on shoes, and don't go really crazy with clothes, make-up has been my go to feel good habit for years.

I can relate. I'm on the borderline between "normal" and "plus" sizes, and have an hourglass figure. The stores around here, for the most part, seem to stock "normal" sizes for girls with way fewer curves and plus sizes for people shaped like balls. Nothing fits, and it all looks the same which is boring as hell. Add that to large, flat, wide feet and nothing EVER fits. I can't even buy cheap jewelry because I'm allergic to nickel (I'll be bleeding before the day is out) and cheap makeup tends to go really weird colours on me (provided it has any colour payoff in the first place, of course) due to strange body chemistry. It makes shopping depressing as hell.

So... MAC. MAC always fits, always makes for the happy. Very few colour changes due to chemical interaction, too (only noticed a problem with slimshines). Being the one feel-good thing makes it all the more addictive.

 

[KikiB]

Oh I hear you there-a lot of shirts I can't buy because I am DEFINITELY very hourglass shaped but skin and bone in some places, pants are tough since I have an inseam so short that even short lengths are way too long, and so forth. I stopped buying a ton of cheap jewelry because it always turns on me, and especially for two of my three earholes I have to wear 14K gold in there so there's only one set of earrings I have to change every day. My things were definitely MAC, VS, and then food/Starbucks. Not having a debit card really makes me realize how much was going out the door a day just for my food habit. I am not the type to brown-bag it because I hate sandwiches and the microwave at our work kinda sucks, plus I hate salads. That being said though, my job requires me to have fairly open availability for them to extend a shift if necessary, so sometimes you just aren't that inspired.

I think the biggest wake-up call was overdrawing from my bank account when I thought that I had a good amount in there-so it really helps me to keep on top of things. Also budgeting out according to my work schedule-will I need a coffee or a lunch on this day?-to figure out how much I should start to sock away and how much I can afford to feed my MAC addiction.

Yes, I do have to agree though that sales are giant enablers.