Shop-a-holism - It's ruining my life!

[Edie]

I am in utter shock that there are so many of us out there with the same problem as me. I really can't relay to you how alone and stupid I felt at first and EMBARRASSED to even write the first post on here!

Im now feeling very liberated!

Well its been a few weeks since my first posted and have to be honest with you, its not all success. I HAVEN'T SPENT ANYTHING ON STUPID ITEMS THOUGH (YAY) but I have been out for friends birthdays every friday and saturday night since (grrr) and there is a good $50-$100 each time.

Although good news is I haven't spent as much as I used to and my credit card limit is on a downward spiral.

THAT being said, I feel the dark black monster now pushing me from behind everytime I see something new I like (eg. the new PURE GHDs...sigh) and Im scared im going to fall back into that loop again.

Thanks everyone for sharing. Who needs a therapy group? Although pumpkincat thats a great idea although im being completely honest with you, I would never actually pursue that as realistically it doesn't appeal to me for some reason? (lame excuse I know!! - can we say denial?).

It actually makes sense as to why our intrest rates keep going up (in Aus anyway..). People nowadays seem to be spending WAY WAY more than what we did a few years back...(isn't that what they say is the reason for all the intrest hikes?). I think before there was less easily-accessible (a.k.a-cheap) goods that we could buy, now instead of people saving up to buy a dress or a pair of shoes or electronics etc they are able to purchase it with their credit card as it isn't as much and we think that we will be able to pay it off next week...?

Hmm..sorry my mind is rambling here. Will shut up now

 

[Tinkee-Belle]

So i googled shopping addiction.. and it is actually a REAL psycological problem called Oniomania. I didnt know there was an actual term for it.... Crazy!

Yesterday I did pretty good... I didnt work (these days are the worst for me, I get bored at home by myself so I always find myself at a mall...) So I decided going downtown to the Pro Store. I had to pay park and I only bought an hour .. I spend $400 at the Pro store (bad

) But afterwards I only had 15 minutes left on the meter so I only went to Bebe (and bought 1 top) It could have been a DISASTEROUS day for my bank account but I managed to keep it in check

So Im happy with myself... baby steps lol.

I am trying to buy NOTHING but furniture for the next 2 weeks, NO clothes and NO makeup. Also I told myself I wouldnt buy another eyeshadow until I hit the pan on one of the ones I have already.

 

[KikiB]

That is actually a really good way to do it-not buying any more until you hit pan on one that you have. I wish I could keep to that however because my makeup collection is still fairly small, I use it as justification to buy more stuff. However I am extremely picky...so it evens out. Also find the shadows you rarely use and put them in a drawer and make that your go-to drawer when you don't have a look already planned out. I have a boatload of Lancome shadows that I never use.

 

[Sanayhs]

Tonight I was feeling down, so I went on the MAC site and put some of the things I've been thinking about in the shopping bag. My stomach churned when I saw the total and it was a huge turn off - which is definitely for the better.

 

[KikiB]

My M.O....if you are spending so much you'd be embarassed to see bank statements, then you're spending too much on it. That's the way I am...my bank statements were THICK. Now that I haven't really been spending well, anything lately, I got my last one yesterday and it was, well, quite thin. That's one thing I am scared of-bank statements. It's embarassing to see how much I actually spend.

I didn't mean it to sound mean or anything. Trust me. That's one way to help cut down your wishlist though-total it all up and see how much it would be.

 

[Tinkee-Belle]

Keeping track of everything thru bank statements is a good idea! Sadly for me it doesnt work because I work for tips so I get cash everyday. Therefore I have no idea how much money I actually make so I have no idea how much I spend! Ive starting writing down at the end of every work night what I take home and I actually make WAY more than I thought, and dont have a dime to show for it! That was a real eye-opener...

Good news though... my dads secretary is moving to the states so he needs someone to help his new secretary, So I will be working at the family business 2 mornings a week! Im going to put every last penny that I make here into a high interest savings account.

Also something I find that helps is making a long term goal. I did this when I was saving up to move away last summer and it helped SO MUCH! (I didnt end up moving.. so I bought a new fall wardrobe with the money haha) My long term goal is to buy a new Mustang by the time Im 23. Thats a year and a half away.. and I think with this new job it will be obtainable!

 

[KikiB]

That also helps-setting goals of things to buy. Maybe set aside a good $30 a paycheck and then when I have enough money, using it to buy a pair of sunglasses. That way I will feel a) accomplished for saving some money, b) happy to have new sunglasses, and c) relieved that it's not all coming out of one paycheck.

 

[*KT*]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Edie 3.'make your lunch instead of buying it. 3. This is a GREAT idea. But honestly. You still have to buy your groceries!!! And last receipt from our 3 shopping bag grocery haul came to AU$82!!! (US$78). Veggies and meat are not cheap!!

You can still buy bread (or wraps), dressing, and turkey/chicken/tuna/ham for two weeks for much less than what it costs to eat lunch out for a week. I usually buy turkey and provelone from Costco, tomato basil wraps and green leaf lettuce from the grocery store and make wraps. Knowing that the lettuce will be all gross and wilty if I don't eat the wrap within 24 hours of making it keeps me from saying "screw my homemade lunch, I'm going out!" and wasting money.

I was pretty horrified at not only how much I was spending on coffees on the way into work and lunch.... but also the calorie contents. My favorite sandwich at Panera - Sierra Turkey Sandwich (half portion) is 420 calories and 1,040 mg of sodium?! Then slap on a couple hundred empty calories for a coffee drink in the morning?

I set a goal for myself in December that I would be allowed one lunch out OR one coffee shop coffee every week. This way I would not only be drastically reducing my calorie intake but also the amount of money I was shelling out on these items. I found myself "saving" my indulgence for Fridays... and then because Friday is such a great day for those of us who work M-F, I'd just skip it all together and go for a few weeks without doing either thing. My co-workers are aware of my self imposed rules, so they don't get upset if I turn them down for lunch out. Now I'm down to one bad coffee drink and one lunch out a month. I'm not fighting off gaining weight, my skin is clearer, and my wallet is fatter.

I keep a bottle of yummy creamer in the fridge at work to keep me on track. Coffeemate's Vanilla Caramel creamer is very yum! 15 calories in the creamer for a tablespoon, and a big bottle costs less than ONE coffee and lasts me a couple weeks. Work has coffee going all the time for free. Not to mention, no waiting in line before work and making myself late just for a caffeine fix.

SmartOnes/LeanCuisine/etc - it seems like there are lunch meals on sale at the grocery store at least twice a month. Last week's special was 5 for $11. I bought 10 during my lunch hour and put them right into the freezer at work.

Starkist Lunch To-Go (StarKist♥|♥StarKist Lunch To-Go) I get multipacks of these from Costco and have them around for when I don't feel like a hot lunch and didn't have the stuff to make a wrap that day.

Box of sweet treats and salty snacks - usually stuff like 100 calorie Kudos bars, granola bars, Flat Earth chips. Keeps me from hitting the vending machine for way overpriced snacks when the urge strikes mid-afternoon.

At least this way, I'm making the money decisions when I'm not 'starving' and have a variety of options to keep me on track. The difference for me is that I only have to visit the ATM once a month instead of once a week. And when I have my splurge lunch and coffee, I enjoy it so much more.
------------------------
On a non-lunch related note. I used to look at purchases as "how many hours of work does this item cost?" Look at your take home pay (after taxes, insurance, etc) divide for hours worked... then look at that lipstick, skirt, necklace, candlestick holder and say "Is this really worth me working for X hours?!" Sometimes it's yes, othertimes it's a wtf no! I distinctly remember looking at something and thinking "I wouldn't work all day for free for THIS!" and walking away.

Hope this helps somebody.

 

[*KT*]

Another thing I've done is use my work's direct deposit in my favor. I get paid every other Thursday and $75 off the top of my paycheck goes directly into my savings account, the rest goes into my regular checking account.

You don't have to start that big (neither did I), but if even if you start with $25 and then increase it as you're comfortable doing so, at least you're saving something monthly and earning a little interest. If you're like me, anything left in the checking account after paying all the bills is too easy to view as "fun money" and it's as good as gone. This way, at least some of the money is protected from that demise and the weight is off of you to remember to save.

 

[swaly]

Addiction

Does anyone ever feel like their fun shopping "addiction" (i.e. "Oh my God, you guys! I spent so much money on my haul! It's like I'm addicted! But it's totally worth it!") is turning into a real addiction?

I cycle through phases of NEEDING to own and collect many, many items all at once...to not giving a crap whether I own anything more than an eyeliner and lip balm. I am manic-depressive and one common aspect of mania is spending sprees and risky behavior, so maybe that's connected?

During the former, sometimes my behavior becomes worrisome...hiding receipts from my bf and opening packages in the bathroom, buying so much that I'm literally broke, etc.

How do you ladies & gents define and deal with that kind of behavior?

 

[fadedillusions]

Re: Addiction

i go through stages. and i remember going a month without shopping at all and felt really down the whole time.

 

[TISH1124]

Re: Addiction

When I first started buying I was horrid......It borderlined addiction...But now I only buy what I know is affordable...I don't try to buy because everyone else has, etc...If I only have so much to spend I narrow down the items I really want and the others just have to fall out of the equation...Something better or similar will come along in no time...it always does. I never buy makeup on credit...If I put it on my husband's card he always pays everything within 30 days..He does not do interest rates at all.

 

[User35]

Re: Addiction

nah I really dont get like that...I have plenty of money but I always feel really really guilty if I buy something ( hauls, purses,shit even uniforms for work) over like a hundred bucks. Maybe its from growing up poor.

I try not to keep tabs on what I spend because I'll feel guilty. Like at mac I'll only get what I really really want and not even look at the receipt cause if its over a 100 I'll feel bad and want to take it all back...I know Im weird

 

[Mabelle]

Re: Addiction

i know i have a bit of an addiction. i dont go on 300$ spending sprees, but i know i buy more than i need. I spend more money than i have (on makeup) and i do get restless when theres nothing i want.

 

[chocolategoddes]

Re: Addiction

I personally find it interesting how people (especially here on Specktra) throw around the word addiction: "I'm a MAC addict!" because addiction is actually serious and it implies a lack of self control and discipline.

When I have money (I'm broke right now) the majority of my money goes toward makeup. I wonder if this will be a problem when I'm older and independent. I'm hoping my spending habits don't turn into an addiction.

But I feel like I'm almost a makeup addict. I get a rush when I think about makeup, when I buy makeup, or when I'm around makeup. I'm guessing that's the same feeling an addict would get.

People would usually say someone who is addicted to something is trying to fill an empty void. I'd say counseling would be the best solution in that case.

 

[TISH1124]

Re: Addiction

When there is a habit that you have no control over...whether it is spending money, using drugs, smoking cigs...It is an addiction. Some people do not have control over their makeup spending...and therefore it makes it an addistion....Do they need counseling...Most times not...they just need to stop spending cold turkey....if that doesn't work then yes they do need counseling. But yes spending all your money on makeup, because you feel you have to have that e/s or l/s and not on other necesssities, like bills ...then yes you are addicted. I think the OP was not just talking about the general love of MAC but the out of control spending on it.

All addictions do not require counseling to quit them...Smoking cigs is one....and there are others that can be controlled without counseling as well....Shopping, smoking, drinking soda etc.....

 

[Chikky]

Re: Addiction

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mabelle i know i have a bit of an addiction. i dont go on 300$ spending sprees, but i know i buy more than i need. I spend more money than i have (on makeup) and i do get restless when theres nothing i want.

Ditto. I've wasted so much money and am in debt because of this.

 

[TISH1124]

Re: Addiction

Ahhh Ckikky big hugs......Just only spend cash...that is the only way I justify when i buy....Never charge....

 

[CandiGirl21]

Re: Addiction

it's an addiction if one spends their entire paycheck or allowance. I am somewhat addicted to beauty products, but I still know when to say enough is an enough. I guess you can say I'm temporary addict. lol

 

[user79]

Re: Addiction

I think shopping can be a real addiction because it does give you that instant rewarding feeling that we attribute to owning material things. I think if it does go too far, you might want to discuss it with someone and actually get some help. It can lead to a world of financial messiness.

Go on a spending diet - budget a realistic and not too extravagant amount that you can afford to spend each day, and don't carry more money than the allotted amount in your wallet, including your cards. That might help to wean you off the shopping escapades without going cold turkey.

Something to add randomly: I haven't purchased any new clothes in about 3 or 4 months and honestly, I don't even miss it. It def makes me realize that we don't need all that crap...