It's been WAY too long since I have checked back here and I re-read all the posts again to refresh myself.
Thank you again everyone for sharing your own stories and advice. I know i'm not the only one to read and take it all in, but I do appreciate it.
So its time for an update!
Like any addiction, I don't think I will ever be truly 'over' it. But I can tell you I have learnt a few things that surely help.
I think it all started to get serious when we had problems with our car and sent it for repairs and due to the fact that we couldn't pay them, they were threatening to kep our car as we couldn't make payments.
So I did what I never thought I would, I put some truly loved items up for sale. From DVDs to makeup. I was able to make payment on my car AND pay off my credit card.
THEN...it started again. I would be at the shops 4-6 times in a week. It was ridiculous. But I convinced myself that I needed to go and get that bag as once I had it, I would not need another bag again as this one fit all my needs. Until the next week where something nicer came to my attention.
Needless to say, my credit card bill went back up (disgusting I know) to preposterous levels!!! And then came the interest.
This is where I completely broke down due to being scared, ashamed and helpless.
The first week was horrible. I had honest withdrawals. I wanted to go to the shops SOOO bad. In order to keep my mind off it, I tried to distract myself as often as I could by doing a combination of the following:
• Selling my precious things on ebay
• Reading...reading instead of heading to the shops at lunch.
• Instead of heading to the shops on the weekend, I walked the dog for longer than usual, I started doing arts n craft type things at home with items around the house (although i did have to purchase craft glue).
• When i did need to go to the shops, I would look in stores and when i saw something I liked, I wouldn't ask myself IF I NEEDED IT! I just TOLD myself that I DIDN'T!! AND WALKED STRAIGHT OUT. I didn't think I had that in me. But I started to think about something else as soon as I left the shop.
• I had a good hard long look at all the makeup I own, I then looked at a few of my pictures where I had makeup on and had an OH MY GOSH moment where I realised that it didn't matter which liquid highlight I used on my cheeks, it did the same thing. No matter if I used the this peach blush or this peach blush, It looked the same. And it didn't matter if I used MAC carbon eyeshadow or the one from my cheapy palette....they ended up...looking the same! I was buying all these things for nothing more than the name...not just the name MAC, but the actual name 'Knight Devine'. WHY this was important? I had no idea. But it was.
• Sadly I stopped looking on specktra and youtube gurus for a while too as I found everyones excitement of a product too hard for me to resist and I would end up going and getting it too.
• Re-arranging my makeup room seemed to always help too as you sort of re-discover your collection.
• Watching the number on my savings instead of my credit card statement rise was the most exciting thing of all.
• I also found that there was something seriously wrong with my mood in general and went to my doctor to see what was going on. He basically said that with what I was eating, It was pretty much like trying to run a car on dirty water. - I was basically destroying my body from the inside out. So, I started eating REALLY healthy, fruits veges, lean meat etc. After a horrifying first week, I found I was feeling better about EVERYTHING. My mood was back to what it was and should be, and found that I didn't feel the want to go to the shops on the weekend, I prefered staying home to prepare meals, go for a run with the puppy, PAINT MY ROOM!! (which is spending money on paint yes, but as it was a necessity it didn't make me feel guilty especially as I knew I hadn't spent my money for over a month!
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Also in addition, I stopped drinking diet coke. I was a fiend for it...after about 2 weeks, I didn't feel the hand-shaking need for it anymore, and my craving for sweet things also disappeared which for me an avid-sweet tooth was nothing short of a miracle. I replaced sweet things with fruit which made all the difference.
I think I have rambled on way too much.
sorry.
The battle is far from over...right now I REALLY want a new computer...but the reality is I can't afford it just yet, but within a few months If I keep putting that money I would waste on unnecessary items, I will be able to.
