Spending going out of control?

[X4biddenxLustX]

Does anyone else feel like their spending habits are starting to go out of control? I've been wondering if I'm the only person or one of the very few people who get this "thrill" from shopping.

I love shopping, as everyone else on this forum probably does also lol. But I don't just love it I L-O-V-E it. I like to buy anything pretty much. My main addiction is MAC though obviously lol. But I've been spending money lately on other stuff. I just keep buying and buying. I'm a big bargain hunter so I always try to rationalize with myself that I got a good deal on whatever I had bought. I feel like I'm not safe whenever I'm out, not even at home cause you can shop online.

I'm only 18 and currently have 4 major credits cards and 2 department store charge cards. I've been really good with paying the bills on time and in full as to not be charged a late fee or any interest. I mostly use my Sears Mastercard which allows me to pay my bill in store with cash. Like the thought of having to count X amount of cash out and have to walk my ass up to the mall and pay the bill for the card does make me think. Sometimes I feel like I'm going insane with this spending. But I'll feel like I'm going insane if I CAN'T shop either. The only thing I can compare this carefree feeling I get to is being high. It just feels so damn good, better than anything else I have ever felt.

But it's starting to seriously scare me after I just opened up a bank account for the first time. I think the fact that I'm hopefully going to get this job at Walgreens *knock on wood* is just going to make it worse. Cause I'll think I'll have the money to buy whatever. I mean I still have to budget for school, but I have a feeling that the day after payday (minus the money I put aside for school) is going to be all gone in a single day. My mom is always telling me that I'm horrible with saving up money and that I'm not going to have any money ever because of my spending. I'm dead afraid that she's right.

 

[Beauty Mark]

It sounds like you're addicted to shopping. You need to learn to curb it before it truly gets out of control. Have you tried keeping a list of every cent you spend? Perhaps that'll scare you straight. You may as well look into it now rather than when you're drowning in debt. Most young people I know have had a run in with debt. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Try to find something else good to concentrate on than shopping. Shopping is fun and all, but all you're doing is buying stuff. Volunteer, learn some new skill, do something.

 

[X4biddenxLustX]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beauty Mark It sounds like you're addicted to shopping. You need to learn to curb it before it truly gets out of control. Have you tried keeping a list of every cent you spend? Perhaps that'll scare you straight. You may as well look into it now rather than when you're drowning in debt. Most young people I know have had a run in with debt. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Try to find something else good to concentrate on than shopping. Shopping is fun and all, but all you're doing is buying stuff. Volunteer, learn some new skill, do something.

I'm super scared that this is truly going to be out of control in the future. I've seen those talk shows like Doctor Phil where they had an episode on people addicted to shopping. Some of those people were like $80,000+ in debt cause of shopping. I keep saying that I won't let it get that bad but you never know.

I don't keep a physical list of how much I'm spending and what I'm buying, more like a mental one. And all I can say is WOW. I think I'm going to get this program on my cell phone (since I always have my cell on me) that allows you to keep track of spending and how much money you still have.

I'm trying to think of something else I can focus on besides work to put most of my effort and time into. I live within walking distance from 2 malls and several shopping centers and a ton of individual stores. I don't drive yet so I'm stuck walking everywhere. To be honest, I barely hang out with friends cause I live so far from them. In a way I feel like shopping is all I have that makes me feel I guess okay at the end of the day. But the pricetag is killing me though.

 

[Septemba]

I really enjoy your threads, 4bidden. Not the struggles or anything, just the topics you bring up.

It sounds like you're aware where it can head, which is great because you can start to haul it in if you need to. I relate to the thrill of it, especially with MU. I got used to big hauls for a while there to the point that if I just bought one thing, I wouldn't even enjoy it properly because I'd be wanting more...! I think it's a matter of habit where we become accustomed to these amounts and the feelings they give us.

I had this massive list of all the MU I'd planned to buy over the coming weeks, but I had to pull right back because of a horrific bill and to help a friend out. Because I had this extra time to actually go over the things I wanted, I swear I knocked 75% of crap off that list.

I think really being sure of what you want and being brutal about lists helps, as well as budgeting for sure.

 

[chickatthegym]

4Bidden I can totally relate!!! I think I have a form of OCD where I become obsessed with buying certain things (for awhile it was Victoria's Secret PINK sweats, then Bath and Body/VS Lotions and Body sprays, now it is MAC). I def know the thrill you are talking about. Sept. is right- if you think about your purchases you will not buy as much. I know it sometimes isn't as fun though as a compulsive shopping spree and it can be hard. I always get caught up in the moment, in the MAC store or counter and esp online! I think I am going to start budgeting out a certain amount to spend on makeup and force myself to pick specific products rather than buy everything.

You aren't alone though

 

[ms.marymac]

Some things that have helped me:



Keep a written tally of what you spend, and how much you have coming in. The checking account can be helpful with this. Fill out your register as soon as you can. If you look at the statement and see that you are spending more $ that's coming in, there's a problem. I think just seeing the amount can sober you up a little.

When you see something you just have to have, make yourself wait at least two days. Sometimes you will find that you didn't really want it after all.

When you get your job, ask yourself how many hours of work it would take to purchase the item you are lemming, then ask yourself if it's worth it.

Hide a bunch of goodies in a cabinet, and shop your stash. I know it sounds goofy, but sometimes if you are buying a bunch of goodies, you'll forget you have something and a few months down the road when you peek in that cabinet, it will kind of satisfy the need for something new.

Don't try to stop all at once. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes if you purge the shopping habit, down the road you will "binge" and be right back where you started. Don't beat yourself up if you slip up.

Remember, a small leak will sink a great ship. Even if it's on sale, little things add up.

 

[Lizzie]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ms.marymac When you see something you just have to have, make yourself wait at least two days. Sometimes you will find that you didn't really want it after all.

This is a great piece of advice! I do this with MAC collections, sometimes. If I wait a little while after the collection has been out, I find that my list shrinks.

 

[X4biddenxLustX]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Septemba I really enjoy your threads, 4bidden. Not the struggles or anything, just the topics you bring up. It sounds like you're aware where it can head, which is great because you can start to haul it in if you need to. I relate to the thrill of it, especially with MU. I got used to big hauls for a while there to the point that if I just bought one thing, I wouldn't even enjoy it properly because I'd be wanting more...! I think it's a matter of habit where we become accustomed to these amounts and the feelings they give us. I had this massive list of all the MU I'd planned to buy over the coming weeks, but I had to pull right back because of a horrific bill and to help a friend out. Because I had this extra time to actually go over the things I wanted, I swear I knocked 75% of crap off that list. I think really being sure of what you want and being brutal about lists helps, as well as budgeting for sure.

Thanks hun! I just feel like I can open up real easily on here with no problem, everyone is so nice on here

!

I actually never did many big hauls when I was working at my last job. It would be more of like me planning want I most likely wanted to buy at the the MAC counter and just a matter of going out there and paying for it. I'd spend about $60 every week to two weeks. The rest of my work money I would hoard it so I could have money during the summer and until I could find work again.

But I've been making more frequent trips lately to the counter sometimes just simply cause I'm at the mall! And boy is this hello kitty collection killing me! I have made so far 4 trips back to the counter so far just for hello kitty items. I always tell myself that I'm done and that I need to quit buying more but nope. Please don't get me started on the kouture collection...

I know I don't NEED these things. But I think there is something wrong with me seriously lol. I'll freak out over not being able to have these things that I honestly can't even sleep okay at night. LOL over dramatic but it's the truth! The rest of the time I'm stressing over and losing sleep thinking about how I'm going to be able to pay for all of this. It's horrible but I've basically been borrowing money for all of this cause I don't have a job officially yet. I even went as far as asking the guy I was kind of involved with for a small loan. I didn't get it though cause I was in a hurry to leave his house but I'm glad that I didn't take the money. He has given me lectures on my spending before several times.

I think I'm going to go through and look at the items that are suppose to come out for the next few collections and just really crack down on what I don't need or want from those collections. I guess I'm going to have to give up on quite a few more things to try to make up for the damage hello kitty has been and going to do to me

.

Quote:

Originally Posted by chickatthegym 4Bidden I can totally relate!!! I think I have a form of OCD where I become obsessed with buying certain things (for awhile it was Victoria's Secret PINK sweats, then Bath and Body/VS Lotions and Body sprays, now it is MAC). I def know the thrill you are talking about. Sept. is right- if you think about your purchases you will not buy as much. I know it sometimes isn't as fun though as a compulsive shopping spree and it can be hard. I always get caught up in the moment, in the MAC store or counter and esp online! I think I am going to start budgeting out a certain amount to spend on makeup and force myself to pick specific products rather than buy everything. You aren't alone though

I'm the same way with being obsessed with one thing at a time. I'm even the same way with MAC too. Like I use to be obsessed with getting different eyeshadows and now I've just recently moved onto lip color and blushes.

I just feel sooo damn good walking up to the counter and getting my things... Seriously, screw drugs when you have MAC lol.

 

[Mabelle]

i have trouble too

im working on it. I find it;s a lot easier now that i dont work in a mall anymore. that was a disaster.

 

[reesesilverstar]

Yes, I agree. My spending was out of control until yesterday tho! I cut up every last one of my credit and store charge cards... My fiance laffed his @$$ off when he walked thru the door and saw my pile.

 

[X4biddenxLustX]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ms.marymac Some things that have helped me: Keep a written tally of what you spend, and how much you have coming in. The checking account can be helpful with this. Fill out your register as soon as you can. If you look at the statement and see that you are spending more $ that's coming in, there's a problem. I think just seeing the amount can sober you up a little. When you see something you just have to have, make yourself wait at least two days. Sometimes you will find that you didn't really want it after all. When you get your job, ask yourself how many hours of work it would take to purchase the item you are lemming, then ask yourself if it's worth it. Hide a bunch of goodies in a cabinet, and shop your stash. I know it sounds goofy, but sometimes if you are buying a bunch of goodies, you'll forget you have something and a few months down the road when you peek in that cabinet, it will kind of satisfy the need for something new. Don't try to stop all at once. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes if you purge the shopping habit, down the road you will "binge" and be right back where you started. Don't beat yourself up if you slip up. Remember, a small leak will sink a great ship. Even if it's on sale, little things add up.

Thanks for the tips

I just got a check register yesterday when I opened up an account. It'll def come in handy, probably even better than the cell phone idea. I can type stuff out on my phone like it's nothing but with the register I gotta find a pen and whip it out and actually write everything out.

I'm super paranoid about overdrafting, bounced checks, and all of that jazz. I'm hoping that it'll limit my credit card use so that I'll only use 1 or 2 credit cards for each month so it'll be even easier to keep track.

I think it'll get easier after the hello kitty about deciding whether I really should get a certain item or not. I'm just a big hello kitty freak that I have this urgency in me that literally starts effecting me physically (similar to having a panic attack) if I don't get a certain item from the collection. The kouture collection just came out today, I pre-ordered everything...the feeling is starting to kick in

.

Yeah I should put my hello kitty goodies into a cute little bag and hide it somewhere that's not usually visible to me for a few days. Then I'll go back and realize what I actually bought.

Shopping is such a huge part of my life. Sounds materialistic and pathetic but it's true. I seriously live for the next "thrill". There is just something about having something that is tangible that makes you feel good. It's sort of like "proof" that you can still be happy and excited I guess

. I just don't want to get to a point where I'm getting phone calls from debt collectors cause I can't pay for whatever I bought. I wanna still be able to enjoy shopping but not be so I guess crazy about it.

 

[stronqerx]

I basically don't spend money that I don't have. The way I see it is, why am I going to buy a ton of clothes that I probably won't wear or will wear for a while, and then be stuck with a credit card bill? I am 21, and I have a lot f credit cards. Infact, my mom and sister charge things on my card and pay me back because I have better credit than both of them. Credit can be a tricky thing, it's no joke, sometimes I think If I wanted to I can go crazy and blow $10,000+ and charge it all (I won't dare to though, but just goes to show how extreme it can get). But like I said I don't spend money I dont have. I am not going to lie, I have charged things in the past (that's how I got good credit), but I've paid back everything on time and have never missed a payment (like you). Still I don't like being a slave to credit card companies, so I haven't used credit in a long time. That being said, I have skipped out on a lot of mac collections, because honestly they come and they go, they fade fast (well atleast to me & I am broke hahaha). I only got HK cause I had a gift card from xmas. I was tempted to buy more, but I ask myself....I already got two lipglosses from the collection, do I really need any more? No, honestly it's all about control.

 

[X4biddenxLustX]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mabelle i have trouble too im working on it. I find it;s a lot easier now that i dont work in a mall anymore. that was a disaster.

I know exactly what you mean girl! I had applied to like almost every store at the bigger mall by where I live. Luckily I didn't get hired for any job there. I can only imagine how worse things would be right now if I was in the same building as a MAC counter is at...

Where I live there really isn't much to do to occupy yourself unless you have money cause it's just stores stores and more stores!

Quote:

Originally Posted by reesesilverstar Yes, I agree. My spending was out of control until yesterday tho! I cut up every last one of my credit and store charge cards... My fiance laffed his @$$ off when he walked thru the door and saw my pile.

I've thought about cutting up some of my cards cause I feel like I have way too many for someone this young and just in general. But my dad would have a fucking fit. He's all been about helping me establish credit and wants me to have one of each major credit card (At least one Discover, Visa, and Mastercard) in case of an emergency or whatever.

Then I thought about just calling the card company up and asking about canceling my accounts with them. But it can possibly hurt my credit score and report. I don't want to risk that when I just establish some form of credit.

 

[Mabelle]

i worked in a mall with a mac counter...

my first job (in the mall), i was treated pretty badly. Whenever i went on break and felt stressed out, or angry (which was most of the time) i went to mac. And now, .... well... you know.

 

[X4biddenxLustX]

Quote:

Originally Posted by stronqerx I basically don't spend money that I don't have. The way I see it is, why am I going to buy a ton of clothes that I probably won't wear or will wear for a while, and then be stuck with a credit card bill? I am 21, and I have a lot f credit cards. Infact, my mom and sister charge things on my card and pay me back because I have better credit than both of them. Credit can be a tricky thing, it's no joke, sometimes I think If I wanted to I can go crazy and blow $10,000+ and charge it all (I won't dare to though, but just goes to show how extreme it can get). But like I said I don't spend money I dont have. I am not going to lie, I have charged things in the past (that's how I got good credit), but I've paid back everything on time and have never missed a payment (like you). Still I don't like being a slave to credit card companies, so I haven't used credit in a long time. That being said, I have skipped out on a lot of mac collections, because honestly they come and they go, they fade fast (well atleast to me & I am broke hahaha). I only got HK cause I had a gift card from xmas. I was tempted to buy more, but I ask myself....I already got two lipglosses from the collection, do I really need any more? No, honestly it's all about control.

If only I could blow $10,000+ on my credit card and not have to pay it back...I'll just keep on dreaming

I've only recently got back into clothes shopping cause I had put on some weight and wanted to get that all off before investing money on new clothes. So everything has mostly been going to MAC as usual.

It's funny though cause I'm such a control freak in real life. I need things done MY way all the time. But when it comes to my spending I feel as if I don't have enough control over things.

 

[X4biddenxLustX]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mabelle i worked in a mall with a mac counter... my first job (in the mall), i was treated pretty badly. Whenever i went on break and felt stressed out, or angry (which was most of the time) i went to mac. And now, .... well... you know.

I use MAC to make myself feel better too. Everytime something super stressful would come up I'd go run out to the mall to get MAC.

When I found out the guy I was in love with last year was going to basic training for the army, I blew $100+ at the mall in less than an hour. The difference from back then and now was that back then I ACTUALLY had the money to pay for that. I don't now =[

 

[MissResha]

i know how bad this can be. i used to be addicted to the deals on ebay many years ago. i quit cold turkey cuz i'd find myself waking up at like 2am to see if i won something, or to put in my bid at the VERY last second. it was pretty bad. i have an addictive personality.

as of now, i spoil myself. i work very hard. i dont have any kids. i dont have any major credit cards. just a bank issued one. i do have small amounts of debt, but its all under 2g's lol. i can easily pay that off. i just need to do it. i have a pretty good paying job as a web developer/designer for a great company in DC (we did obama's site

) and i spend a small percentage of my paycheck on whatever the fuck i want. i dont have any other MAJOR bills. so i mean, thats my excuse.

i know whats more important though, so if i ever do get pregnant, i may sell all my shit or just sloooow down on buying. but for the moment i'm enjoying myself. and i looooooooove a good deal!

 

[kdemers1221]

I find that when I don't have money to spend on extra things is when I want them the most. As soon as I have the money to afford it I realize that it really wasn't something I wanted or that I don't really want to spend the money on it. The waiting a couple days tip is a great idea. It's a great way to determine whether it's something you really want and will use/wear or if it's just at the moment lust type thing. Also, like other said, keep a tally. It's easy to justify a sale price item but add up all those sales and you're really spending A LOT of money. Just keep yourself honest about it.

 

[MzzRach]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ms.marymac Some things that have helped me: Keep a written tally of what you spend, and how much you have coming in. The checking account can be helpful with this. Fill out your register as soon as you can. If you look at the statement and see that you are spending more $ that's coming in, there's a problem. I think just seeing the amount can sober you up a little. When you see something you just have to have, make yourself wait at least two days. Sometimes you will find that you didn't really want it after all. When you get your job, ask yourself how many hours of work it would take to purchase the item you are lemming, then ask yourself if it's worth it. Hide a bunch of goodies in a cabinet, and shop your stash. I know it sounds goofy, but sometimes if you are buying a bunch of goodies, you'll forget you have something and a few months down the road when you peek in that cabinet, it will kind of satisfy the need for something new. Don't try to stop all at once. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes if you purge the shopping habit, down the road you will "binge" and be right back where you started. Don't beat yourself up if you slip up. Remember, a small leak will sink a great ship. Even if it's on sale, little things add up.

This is great advice.

 

[zzoester]

I used to have a serious spending problem and I lived beyond my means for a few years. Fortunately, my parents helped correct my financial issues once and for all about 4 years ago and I have been perfectly responsible ever since. I am really lucky. I can relate the shopping rush. I still get it from time to time, but these days I am more realistic. I am a bargain shopper and I always set a budget for myself and I NEVER spend money I do not have or cannot afford.

Try buying everything using cash. Nothing worked for me....UNTIL I started setting a weekly budget. CASH budget. I spend a lot less when I deal with cash only.