Spending going out of control?

[X4biddenxLustX]

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Originally Posted by MissResha i know how bad this can be. i used to be addicted to the deals on ebay many years ago. i quit cold turkey cuz i'd find myself waking up at like 2am to see if i won something, or to put in my bid at the VERY last second. it was pretty bad. i have an addictive personality. as of now, i spoil myself. i work very hard. i dont have any kids. i dont have any major credit cards. just a bank issued one. i do have small amounts of debt, but its all under 2g's lol. i can easily pay that off. i just need to do it. i have a pretty good paying job as a web developer/designer for a great company in DC (we did obama's site ) and i spend a small percentage of my paycheck on whatever the fuck i want. i dont have any other MAJOR bills. so i mean, thats my excuse. i know whats more important though, so if i ever do get pregnant, i may sell all my shit or just sloooow down on buying. but for the moment i'm enjoying myself. and i looooooooove a good deal!

I too have an addictive personality. I easily get hooked on things and just have to keep doing them for a long time. I'll usually get over it eventually when I find the next fun thing. But shopping has always stayed though.

I do check ebay every now and then just out of curiosity. There have been items that I really did want to buy right then and there when I seen them but I didn't have a credit card back then. I'm actually only really interested in the "buy it now" option. I can't stand auctions cause there's no guarantee you'll be able to buy it and make it yours lol. I love instant gratification lol.

Even with cutting down on my spending I still can see me spoiling myself too in the future. Just hopefully not outrageously. The only people I really have to support when I'm older are my parents and my mom's side of the family in China. And maybe a dog? I've been wanting to get a pet for a while now just stupid allergies stopping me. I don't see myself having children anytime soon, so that's one less person(s) I have to worry about financially. I just gotta super budget everything and cut out a lot of the things I will NOT need at all (like a home phone...grrr...been wanting to get rid of that crap for ages now).

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Originally Posted by kdemers1221 I find that when I don't have money to spend on extra things is when I want them the most. As soon as I have the money to afford it I realize that it really wasn't something I wanted or that I don't really want to spend the money on it. The waiting a couple days tip is a great idea. It's a great way to determine whether it's something you really want and will use/wear or if it's just at the moment lust type thing. Also, like other said, keep a tally. It's easy to justify a sale price item but add up all those sales and you're really spending A LOT of money. Just keep yourself honest about it.

Oh do the sales add up! With low prices I just feel the need that it's okay to just go buy more since their all on "sale". I forget that it's money that I'm actually still spending towards something.

I too feel that a lot of the things I've been wanting keep coming up right about this time and I don't have money for it. Just makes temptation worse.


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Originally Posted by zzoester I used to have a serious spending problem and I lived beyond my means for a few years. Fortunately, my parents helped correct my financial issues once and for all about 4 years ago and I have been perfectly responsible ever since. I am really lucky. I can relate the shopping rush. I still get it from time to time, but these days I am more realistic. I am a bargain shopper and I always set a budget for myself and I NEVER spend money I do not have or cannot afford. Try buying everything using cash. Nothing worked for me....UNTIL I started setting a weekly budget. CASH budget. I spend a lot less when I deal with cash only.

My mom agrees with you that cash is the best way to go. No interest. No late fees. Only thing though is that it's just not that secure. I've had money stolen from me before when I thought it was safe, so I've been iffy about carrying cash around. I even refused a debit card and an ATM card from the bank cause they don't make me feel safe.

I know you have to carry some amount of cash around cause theres certain things a credit card can't buy like the trolley fare. So I think I'm going to withrdraw each month a certain amount of cash, very low amount and pressure myself to pay with that cash for my purchases but must still have enough to take the trolley so that I'll be willing to spend less.

 

[stronqerx]

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Originally Posted by X4biddenxLustX If only I could blow $10,000+ on my credit card and not have to pay it back...I'll just keep on dreaming I've only recently got back into clothes shopping cause I had put on some weight and wanted to get that all off before investing money on new clothes. So everything has mostly been going to MAC as usual. It's funny though cause I'm such a control freak in real life. I need things done MY way all the time. But when it comes to my spending I feel as if I don't have enough control over things.

HAHAHA, i know right! One can only dream

I haven't bought clothes in the longest time either & I too have gained weight. I refuse to buy any clothes until my ass loses the extra pounds!

 

[X4biddenxLustX]

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Originally Posted by stronqerx HAHAHA, i know right! One can only dream I haven't bought clothes in the longest time either & I too have gained weight. I refuse to buy any clothes until my ass loses the extra pounds!

Lol, in my dream it's more like a million bucks...but yep it isn't going to happen haha!

I haven't done much clothes shopping either. I've only been buying some light jackets/hoodies (where I live I have crappy cold weather for at least 6 months straight) cause the jackets I already had were getting too small. I've bought a few shirts too since I barely have anything in my closet that fits me okay anymore. No pants though cause when I do drop the lbs, they'll be useless while a jacket and some shirts I can still wear. But everything I get is on clearance lol! HELL NO I will not spend a bajillion bucks on my "fat" clothes or clothes period haha.

I did recently go on a crazy panty shopping frenzy. It had been a while since I've bought new undies and my stupid washer ruins them

.




I just got my new Discover card in the mail today

. My dad had made me apply for it since there was a promotion for new Discover card members and we would get $100 back. I'm going to use it towards groceries cause we have to spend money on food regardless. It'll just help with the cashback offer. It's pink and has my initial on it too, ahh I just hope this doesn't entice me to use it all the time

 

[LMD84]

i leave my credit cards at home now when i go shopping. and when i do go on a shopping trip i budget how much money i can spend - realistically (no good saying you'll be good and spend $30 when really you know you'll spend about $50) i then take that amount of cash out of a machine and then that's my shopping money. if i run out i run out and because i don't have my cards with me it's not an option to spend on those.

what i find hard is online shopping with mac! i try and only order once every month when i've been paid and the new collection is out. but recently i've spent a couple of times a month whihc i need to nip in the bud...

 

[BloopBloop]

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Originally Posted by Septemba I really enjoy your threads, 4bidden. Not the struggles or anything, just the topics you bring up. It sounds like you're aware where it can head, which is great because you can start to haul it in if you need to. I relate to the thrill of it, especially with MU. I got used to big hauls for a while there to the point that if I just bought one thing, I wouldn't even enjoy it properly because I'd be wanting more...! I think it's a matter of habit where we become accustomed to these amounts and the feelings they give us. I had this massive list of all the MU I'd planned to buy over the coming weeks, but I had to pull right back because of a horrific bill and to help a friend out. Because I had this extra time to actually go over the things I wanted, I swear I knocked 75% of crap off that list. I think really being sure of what you want and being brutal about lists helps, as well as budgeting for sure.

i couldnt agree any more. when i look at the topic starter of the thread i click on, your name shows up many times.

now to add on, i definitely feel like im digging my own grave with each purchase. whenever i save up to pay off my bill, i get that feeling of relief because that chunk has been taken off my balance-- and then i sneak off to mac or the sale forum and do some more shopping ='[

 

[Ruby_Woo]

I feel like I still spend on things that I shouldn't. I only have one department store card, one retail chain card and my bank one, the total credit combined comes to 1,300 so its not really high which is good cus if I had a credit limit of 10,000 Id be all about spending!

Im trying to limit myself though. I really am.

 

[X4biddenxLustX]

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Originally Posted by LMD84 i leave my credit cards at home now when i go shopping. and when i do go on a shopping trip i budget how much money i can spend - realistically (no good saying you'll be good and spend $30 when really you know you'll spend about $50) i then take that amount of cash out of a machine and then that's my shopping money. if i run out i run out and because i don't have my cards with me it's not an option to spend on those. what i find hard is online shopping with mac! i try and only order once every month when i've been paid and the new collection is out. but recently i've spent a couple of times a month whihc i need to nip in the bud...

Yeah, I'll def need to be carrying cash more often soon instead of so many cards. Cause with cash once it's gone it's GONE, buh-byes! I always like to leave enough cash after spending for a trolley or bus fare in case I'm stranded somewhere and need to get home.

Has anyone had something that they considered a "security blanket"? Something that they like to have with them practically all the time cause it makes them feel I guess okay and secure? I had spoken to my therapist about all of this and she realized that I use my cell phone and credit cards as a form of security blanket. My cell phone allows me to be able to talk to people via phone call, text, or instant message if I need to tell someone something. And my credit cards make me feel safe in case I'm in an emergency situation and don't have enough cash on hand for help. I hope this makes sense. But take either one away from me and I literally freak out and panic. Meh, I'm so weird

.

The way I have my bank account, I can't touch any of my money unless I actually go into the bank and see a teller. I can also have access to it from online but I'm not tech savvy enough yet to be making bank transactions online haha.

I use to try to make frequent trips to MAC but I wasn't allowed to spend all my makeup budget money all on one trip. I'd split it up so that I could go to the counter and get something each week. This way I'd get that "thrill" each week. But now, I just want it ALL at once.

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Originally Posted by BloopBloop i couldnt agree any more. when i look at the topic starter of the thread i click on, your name shows up many times. now to add on, i definitely feel like im digging my own grave with each purchase. whenever i save up to pay off my bill, i get that feeling of relief because that chunk has been taken off my balance-- and then i sneak off to mac or the sale forum and do some more shopping ='[

Lol, I always feel as if I'm starting way too many posts on here! I just like hearing from different people and hear things from all angles.

I too feel like I'm less than an inch away from hitting 6 feet

. I swear it really is like an endless cycle! I get that relief also whenever I'm off to pay off my credit card bill in full every time I'm almost due for payment. But then I'll just start wandering off to different places at the mall and the MAC counter and I'll just owe money all over again.

I've been taking sneak peaks at the sale forums here too and I've actually made a mental note of which items I wanted to buy. But then I remember uhh, I don't have the funds for any of this. I think I'm going to sell some of the things that I have accumulated that I don't really use or actually need. This way I'll hopefully be able to dig my way out of this soon to be grave bit by bit.

 

[X4biddenxLustX]

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Originally Posted by Ruby_Woo I feel like I still spend on things that I shouldn't. I only have one department store card, one retail chain card and my bank one, the total credit combined comes to 1,300 so its not really high which is good cus if I had a credit limit of 10,000 Id be all about spending! Im trying to limit myself though. I really am.

Your actually so lucky to have such a low limit! All of my card's limits total up if all of them are added together in the $20,000+ range

. I had been told that it's really hard to get credit cards when you have no credit established before I had my first major credit card. Uhh, they were soooo wrong. I got each and everyone of my cards so easily with no hassle whatsoever. It's actually kind of scary how easy it is to get one and then another one and another one... And yeah I've been lemming over the Bank of America Hello Kitty credit card

. My dad is no help either. I swear the man is my enabler when it comes to credit cards. I know he means well when he says he wants me to establish some credit for the future. Plus the man is also quite a spender too! He's and odd mix of cheap and shopaholic. Our quality time is spent....ahem..shopping!

Please do me a favor and don't open up any more cards unless you ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY NEED another one!

 

[BloopBloop]

i think its easier for college students to get a hold of credit cards. i had 3 my first year, 2 of them i got at the same time-- a month after i got my first credit card. Something i seriously regret ever doing. i wish i had just stuck with one credit card, my bill would be so much easier to pay off.

i thought i had a problem with my bills, babe you take the cake! my bills combined is about $3300. urgh i feel guilty just typing and looking at the number

 

[Ruby_Woo]

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Originally Posted by X4biddenxLustX Your actually so lucky to have such a low limit! All of my card's limits total up if all of them are added together in the $20,000+ range . I had been told that it's really hard to get credit cards when you have no credit established before I had my first major credit card. Uhh, they were soooo wrong. I got each and everyone of my cards so easily with no hassle whatsoever. It's actually kind of scary how easy it is to get one and then another one and another one... And yeah I've been lemming over the Bank of America Hello Kitty credit card . My dad is no help either. I swear the man is my enabler when it comes to credit cards. I know he means well when he says he wants me to establish some credit for the future. Plus the man is also quite a spender too! He's and odd mix of cheap and shopaholic. Our quality time is spent....ahem..shopping! Please do me a favor and don't open up any more cards unless you ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY NEED another one!

check if your bank lets you customize your cards!

I know my bank you can choose ANY image and just pay $9 and they will send you a custom card.

If I want a hello kitty card, I can just choose the image upload it to my banks site and in 2 weeks they would send it.

Right now I haven't found an image I like though.

Check that out instead of opening a whole new account for an HK card

 

[X4biddenxLustX]

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Originally Posted by BloopBloop i think its easier for college students to get a hold of credit cards. i had 3 my first year, 2 of them i got at the same time-- a month after i got my first credit card. Something i seriously regret ever doing. i wish i had just stuck with one credit card, my bill would be so much easier to pay off. i thought i had a problem with my bills, babe you take the cake! my bills combined is about $3300. urgh i feel guilty just typing and looking at the number

It's actually funny that I put down that I'm not a student and that I'm currently unemployed for the applications that may ask those questions and I still get a card lol. I guess since they know that I'm young they think that I'll go out and spend like crazy and not be a responsible. Which they are right partially but I still pay off my bills in full and on time so they won't be getting no interest rates and late fees from this little missy

.

I currently owe $42 on my Macy's charge from my last trip to get some Hello Kitty goodies. And this Monday, I don't even want to imagine how much is going on my Discover Card cause of the kouture collection

. Basically my parents are going to be cashing MY first several paychecks instead of me getting my moolah.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ruby_Woo check if your bank lets you customize your cards! I know my bank you can choose ANY image and just pay $9 and they will send you a custom card. If I want a hello kitty card, I can just choose the image upload it to my banks site and in 2 weeks they would send it. Right now I haven't found an image I like though. Check that out instead of opening a whole new account for an HK card

That's such a great idea! It's sort of like the CapitalOne concept where you can customize the image on the card to whatever you want it to be. Too bad I dont have a credit card with my bank at this moment though

. I can't do a debit card either. So either way I'd have to open up another credit account with someone. Grrrr, I wish they had this option with EVERY credit card company

.

Edit: Discover did send me out a cute pink striped card with the letter Z for Zhen on it though. It's super cute! Maybe I'll just settle for that for now.....OR I could call them up and ask them if they do customized cards!

 

[User35]

I spend waaaay too much money....i just got my tax return and Im contimplating buying a new vuitton bag....eeek ! I havent even bought it yet and Im already feeling guilty.

 

[Ruby_Woo]

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Originally Posted by NatalieR429 I spend waaaay too much money....i just got my tax return and Im contimplating buying a new vuitton bag....eeek ! I havent even bought it yet and Im already feeling guilty.

We don't get anything back, even w/ a child

You know what sucks? When I see people who aren't "legally" married, (but they live together and such as a married couple) and they get like $7,000 back! plus the stimulus coming up! yeah. I witnessed this. Oh well I guess.

 

[stronqerx]

Quote:

Originally Posted by X4biddenxLustX Your actually so lucky to have such a low limit! All of my card's limits total up if all of them are added together in the $20,000+ range . I had been told that it's really hard to get credit cards when you have no credit established before I had my first major credit card. Uhh, they were soooo wrong. I got each and everyone of my cards so easily with no hassle whatsoever. It's actually kind of scary how easy it is to get one and then another one and another one... And yeah I've been lemming over the Bank of America Hello Kitty credit card . My dad is no help either. I swear the man is my enabler when it comes to credit cards. I know he means well when he says he wants me to establish some credit for the future. Plus the man is also quite a spender too! He's and odd mix of cheap and shopaholic. Our quality time is spent....ahem..shopping! Please do me a favor and don't open up any more cards unless you ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY NEED another one!

Me too! My dad pushed me to get good credit cause he didn't want me to be like my mom & sister, they have a history of bad credit. He has really good credit too, so I get it from him. At the same time he hates using credit and he's cheap but he insists that having credit is a good thing for emergencies and for the future, and I agree. I have three major credit cards, and I established my credit when I was 18, and I never understood why people said It was so difficult to start credit. I started off with a $500 credit line and it went up in about a yr to like $3000, lmao. That's just one card, I have clothing store cards too, express, victorias secret, ect. I haven't used credit in a long time. Sometimes I use the clothing store ones, because it's no interest and you get discounts. Also If I want to buy things online I use my debt card instead, that helps a lot too, if you don't wanna carry around so much $$.

 

[X4biddenxLustX]

Quote:

Originally Posted by NatalieR429 I spend waaaay too much money....i just got my tax return and Im contimplating buying a new vuitton bag....eeek ! I havent even bought it yet and Im already feeling guilty.

Your lucky you got enough on your tax return to afford a LV bag girl! I'm only getting $50 on mines

. But that's cause I had worked at my school as a cafeteria aide before I graduated and only made like $1,600 ish. And yep that $50 is also going to my parents to help pay off the money that I owe them.

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Originally Posted by Ruby_Woo We don't get anything back, even w/ a child You know what sucks? When I see people who aren't "legally" married, (but they live together and such as a married couple) and they get like $7,000 back! plus the stimulus coming up! yeah. I witnessed this. Oh well I guess.

That sucks! Here in Pennsylvania, my parents were told that they changed the guidelines and that they are no longer able to get money back when a kid turns 17 instead of when they turn 18. So last year when I was 17 they weren't able to get anything back for me. They can still get something back for my brother since he's only 13. It's ass I tell ya! Homes with kids need the money more than anyone else really.

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Originally Posted by stronqerx Me too! My dad pushed me to get good credit cause he didn't want me to be like my mom & sister, they have a history of bad credit. He has really good credit too, so I get it from him. At the same time he hates using credit and he's cheap but he insists that having credit is a good thing for emergencies and for the future, and I agree. I have three major credit cards, and I established my credit when I was 18, and I never understood why people said It was so difficult to start credit. I started off with a $500 credit line and it went up in about a yr to like $3000, lmao. That's just one card, I have clothing store cards too, express, victorias secret, ect. I haven't used credit in a long time. Sometimes I use the clothing store ones, because it's no interest and you get discounts. Also If I want to buy things online I use my debt card instead, that helps a lot too, if you don't wanna carry around so much $$.

According to my dad he has pretty good credit, not sure what the exact score he has is though. But he's able to get loans, utilities and credit cards with NO problem. But then again it could also just be that it is just THAT easy to obtain credit. We had agreed that having no credit is almost just as bad as having bad credit. That's why we both agreed for me to start establishing credit at 18 also. And yeah I do agree that considering my experience and yours I don't get how it is hard it is to get credit. Cause it was easy as pie for me! I have a friend who has some money saved up and had planned on saving up more and getting a car next year. I told her that she NEEDS to establish some kind of credit in order to do that. I suggested for her to get a store charge card from Macy's buy little things each month for a few months and make sure she pays if off full before the due date (She works and lives by a mall also and should have no problems making an in store cash payment for the bill). And then applying for a major credit card and do the same with buying little things and paying it off to build up her credit. I won't tell her to get more than one credit card right now though cause this girl is also a spender!

He usually doesn't make many or if any purchases with any of his credit cards, he likes to use cash or gift cards (The big grocery store here has a fuelperks program where for a limited time for every $50 of store gift cards you purchase from them to places like Best Buy and Macy's you get $0.20 off each gallon of gas. This grocery store also has their own chain of gas stations which is where you redeem your gas discount at. He's gotten $356 of free gas within a period of months cause he's been making mad purchases at Best Buy for his friends and just having them pay him back in cash.). But lately he's been using his credit cards more cause of special offers and deals that they have when you buy at this place or that place.

My Visa (I have two) and Mastercard have a limit of $6,500-$8,000. While the new Discover card I got only has a limit of $2,000 cause they had asked if I was a student and if I had a job and I said no to both. But I can see that they won't really have much of an issue raising it once I get a job and start bringing income in. But I don't want the limit increased not for a while at least.

I also only use the Store charge cards from Sears and Macy's whenever they are having a sale that you can only redeem when you use their store charge card. It's nice cause you can get some stuff cheaper than it already is sometimes and you can pay your bill in store also with cash. You don't have to mail any checks in or do any online bill pay if those aren't convenient payment methods for you. At the time I had opened those cards, I didn't have a bank account so no online bill pay or checks. I was just as Victoria's Secret the other day and the SA asked if I had a Victoria's Secret charge card. I've heard about it and how you get a coupon book with deals and free panty offers each month. I thought about it but told her no. But it does sound like a good deal lol..

My dad and I don't debit like EVER. He has a debit card that the bank sent him but he never called to activate it. He's going to destroy it soon so that it doesn't get into the wrong hands in case he loses his wallet or whatever. I'd suggest that he also call the bank up and cancel the debit account too just so his "info" isn't just out there somewhere. When he showed me the debit card, he didn't know what it was ROFL

So I had to explain to him how debit works and he's just like HELL NAH, I'm not okay with that. Hahaha I've gotta love the man! Me and him have very similiar spending habits and we both know that we'd end up with like a million dollar overdraft fee if we used a debit card lol.

 

[x33cupcake]

i know what you mean, i have spent over 1000 on mac in the past two months.. i'm paying off all my credit cards now and trying to not make any more purchases. so far i've been going good :] i dont have that much debt anymore..

 

[X4biddenxLustX]

Quote:

Originally Posted by x33cupcake i know what you mean, i have spent over 1000 on mac in the past two months.. i'm paying off all my credit cards now and trying to not make any more purchases. so far i've been going good :] i dont have that much debt anymore..

I wish I could spend that much on MAC! With my new job my makeup/beauty budget is set at $150 a month =[. It's more than I'll be making in a week though.

It's good that you've paid it off don't want that to roll onto the next month and the next! Interest rates are the devil.

 

[coachkitten]

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Originally Posted by X4biddenxLustX I even refused a debit card and an ATM card from the bank cause they don't make me feel safe.

I just wanted to say that bank debit cards are just as safe as credit cards if not safer as they have a personal pin attached. It might be a good option to use a debit card as you can only spend what you have in your account. Just a thought though.

When I was in college I got my first credit card against my better judgement and the limit was over $5000!! I have no clue how I qualified for one that big and being a student and having only a small part time job I ended up maxing out my card pretty fast.

I also have an addictive personality so I have to really be on top of what I am spending as I can go overboard pretty quickly. I love my handbags and makeup but now I limit myself only to buy within my monthly budget. I also now only have ONE major credit card and a debit card.

 

[X4biddenxLustX]

Quote:

Originally Posted by coachkitten I just wanted to say that bank debit cards are just as safe as credit cards if not safer as they have a personal pin attached. It might be a good option to use a debit card as you can only spend what you have in your account. Just a thought though. When I was in college I got my first credit card against my better judgement and the limit was over $5000!! I have no clue how I qualified for one that big and being a student and having only a small part time job I ended up maxing out my card pretty fast. I also have an addictive personality so I have to really be on top of what I am spending as I can go overboard pretty quickly. I love my handbags and makeup but now I limit myself only to buy within my monthly budget. I also now only have ONE major credit card and a debit card.

I have to agree that debit cards work usually okay for most people. But my dad and I never cash all of our paychecks/money til the end of the month or even the next month sometimes. Direct deposit maybe an option at my new job for me but it isn't for my dad's job. So we don't really have much in the bank usually until we cash every single thing we have in there.

I swear they give us young kids ridiculous limits in the hopes that we'll charge up our cards in no time and go beyond our limit. This all means moolah for the credit card companies!

I seen this epidose of CSI Miami and I'm not sure if this actually happens in real life. But this credit card company has a group of workers who go to campuses and literally prey on kids there that don't know much about credit. They'll make it super easy for them to get a credit card and then the next month they'll raise their limit to some ridiculous amount and the kids will think that they can just keep charging up the card cause of their high limit. But when they can't pay they start harassing them and threatening them.

Oh my, I hope I don't get into handbags EVER. Like deisigner ones. Have mercy on my wallet lol.

 

[coachkitten]

That is exactly what they did at my college. They were on our mall (main part of campus) and offered free gifts if you signed up. A lot of people would get those cards as they had the school mascot on it and then they would give you a HUGE credit limit and continually raise it. It is actually pretty scary now that I look back on it.