Spending going out of control?

[NutMeg]

Two suggestions. One, this:

Quote:

Originally Posted by X4biddenxLustX I haven't exactly been taking away the "tempations" away cause I keep going out and currently work at a drugstore and always seem to find something interesting to try to buy. And I was totally right my new obsession now is Victoria's Secret sadly. But like I said I have been finding a lot of coupons for freebies and discounts from them and using them as much as I can. I've been doing the same for other stores too mainly for freebies that don't require any purchase or ones where you can buy ANYTHING even a little $1 lollipop to get a free gift. Just yesterday I went out to VS and got the 7 for $25 deal with a free pair of panties and the girl who rung me up only charged me for 6 of the 1 for $25 panties so that was kind of good lol. I also got a bra for $35 after discount that I'm definitely going to be taking back. IF I do exchange the bra for another one I'll make sure I'll have another coupon ready and pick out something much nicer and cheaper there cause there 36c sizes actually fit me decently. I swore I would never touch a VS bra a while back cause of the prices but yeah... look where I'm at now lol.

makes it sound like buying Victoria's Secret is something that is happening to you, not a choice you're making. That kind of thinking is dangerous, not accepting responsibility for your purchases is part of how you get into debt. You chose to buy that stuff, when you say that unfortunately you have a new obsession... It's all you baby.

Two,

Quote:

Originally Posted by X4biddenxLustX My mom has suggested that I start to use cash more but I explained to her again my big fear of having money stolen out of my wallet (it's happened before and the theif even took the coupon I had in there with them lol!). We agreed that the max I'd carry most of the time would be around $30 and only use my cc if I REALLY REALLY need it.

Make a list of what counts as something that you REALLY REALLY need to use your card for. Print it out, wrap your card in it. When you're out and about, if you feel like buying something with your card look at the list. If it isn't on the list, don't buy it. Otherwise, if you don't have the cash or enough on your debit card, you can't get it.

 

[X4biddenxLustX]

Quote:

Originally Posted by NutMeg Two suggestions. One, this: makes it sound like buying Victoria's Secret is something that is happening to you, not a choice you're making. That kind of thinking is dangerous, not accepting responsibility for your purchases is part of how you get into debt. You chose to buy that stuff, when you say that unfortunately you have a new obsession... It's all you baby. Two, Make a list of what counts as something that you REALLY REALLY need to use your card for. Print it out, wrap your card in it. When you're out and about, if you feel like buying something with your card look at the list. If it isn't on the list, don't buy it. Otherwise, if you don't have the cash or enough on your debit card, you can't get it.

Yep, in my head I keep imagining all these cute little things that I can buy all calling out to me for me to buy them. Stupid, but its soo true. But yeah it's just ALL me.

I guess in my head this makes the spending seem much more acceptable and justifiable.

Thats such a good idea. I'm writing down stuff right now that I ACTUALLY SERIOUSLY REALLY NEED not want. And they are:

a hair cut
pair of tennis shoes
some bras that actually fit me (I got measured as a 36C at VS, so I'll use that as reference so I can go out to like Wally's world and grab a couple of cheap ones.)
sulfate free shampoo and conditioner (I have sulfate sensitivities on my face and it already is starting to occasionally cause painful flare ups and irritation on my scalp)

And really that's about all I need besides food, water, and shelter when I truly think about it.

 

[Mizz.Coppertone]

ugh yes the past few weeks i really wish i saved more then i spent. whenever i get depressed i spend so much $$$ on new beauty/hair/skin products because i think it will help me feel better.

 

[X4biddenxLustX]

^^ Yeah...everytime I feel like shit, I just have to go out and buy more.

I just feel like dying..I don't even want to look at my online accounts cause I'm probably at least $1,000 in the hole right now. And I make like NOTHING at my job.

 

[BloopBloop]

^ did you go out and spend more money after your sale?! >=O

and yea, shopping therapy is the beezneez!

 

[seonmi]

My advice is not go to the malls, online shopping sites, and all the deals ... Then you are not aware of good deals and not have to resist the temptation. I had a hard time at first, too. But now not going to the malls, staying away from LJ, the sale section on here, and the lemmings threads on here and MUA has helped a lot.

 

[X4biddenxLustX]

Yep, I went out and spent A TON after the sale. I actually have been really lazy with it cause I'm just so exhausted from work. Work has been sooo tiring, and 8 hours feels more like 24 hours when your stuck there. So I've been hitting the mall which is right by Walgreens where I work at a lot. I do it as a rewards I guess...Not so much. More like a punishment now.

I might get another job on top of this if I'm able to. The manager at Victoria Secret told one of the SA's there to give me an application the next time I came into the store cause she liked me. Still wouldn't be good though....being around all those goodies. I already buy all kinds of knickknacks from work!

It's hard for me to not shop somehow or be in places where you can shop. Considering I live by so many stores and a mall plus theres the internet. Ughh. But I think that now that I got my first paycheck and realize how much I DON'T make I'll start nipping this in the butt soon. I just hope soon enough.

I seriously broke down and cried earlier today after looking at my online accounts and realizing that there were still pending purchases that haven't posted up yet. Luckily, the boy was nice enough to call me back and talk to a hysterical me and willing to come over a little bit for comfort me. He's been lecturing me too about my spending telling me that all of this is not worth getting into thousands and thousands of dollars in debt...

 

[Fataliya]

Quote:

Originally Posted by BloopBloop its to spend more money... i was 18 when i first got my credit cards (three within the first month.) I got one for the air mileage points (after more than $4000 dollars on it, i dont even have enough to fly to buffalo, and i live in NYC!!!) i got the other one for the fake cash back, and the first one was just the first card. like i said, i was naive! at that time, i didnt know what shopping therapy and addictions were

Actually, the advantage to more than one card is in your credit profile/score.

If you have one card with a $10k limit, and $5k on that, your utilization is at 50%. If you have lots of cards, with that same balance spread amongst them, you can have lower utilization, which means higher credit score.

Generally speaking, that is. There are always exceptions to the rule, lol.

High utilization is a score killer.

 

[X4biddenxLustX]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fataliya Actually, the advantage to more than one card is in your credit profile/score. If you have one card with a $10k limit, and $5k on that, your utilization is at 50%. If you have lots of cards, with that same balance spread amongst them, you can have lower utilization, which means higher credit score. Generally speaking, that is. There are always exceptions to the rule, lol. High utilization is a score killer.

So the more cards the better for your credit score?

More cards = death for me from going broke =[


I'm going to stop these trips to the mall seriously. No more ebay. No more sale thread visits. And maybe just no more MAC for a while.

 

[almmaaa]

I just hope you really stick to it because it seems like your not I just read thru the 3 pages and everyone is giving you advice but your not following it, your still spending, you gotta stop cold turkey just say to yourself you are stronger than this my father always tells me dont buy anything, you have so many things you dont need anything what you need is MONEY!!!!

 

[NutMeg]

^Agreed. The reality is that you don't deserve anything beyond your basic rights that you haven't earned... and you haven't earned any of the things you're buying. You're spending someone else's money, and I'm getting the impression that you don't really want to stop.

 

[X4biddenxLustX]

I'm not gonna lie. I LOVE shopping. I think everyone does lol.

It's just that I keep doing it over and over again too frequently in such a short span of time. I honestly can't say that I won't shop at all like ever again. It just needs to be turned down like a 100 notches cause what's been going on is TOO MUCH. Regular 2-4 visits maximum to the mall a month that didn't involve spending too much money have now turned into 2-4 times a week.

I guess the bottom line is no, I don't want to stop shopping. I just want it to be on a level that is affordable and reasonable for me. No more careless spending at every single store. No more worrying about how am I going to pay this and that off on time. I want to be able to enjoy it occasionally but not have to worry about those types of things.

I have $1.42 in my bank account right now so that they don't close my account. I took out all the money I made from my most recent paycheck and tax return. Tomorrow all of that money is going towards paying off one of the credit cards I had been using. I'm going to have to be doing this for the next what...2 or 3 months I think? Plus I'm hoping to pick up this other job (not VS, I already realized that that would not be a good idea) to get some more money. Now all of that does not make me feel good in the least bit.

 

[Fataliya]

Quote:

Originally Posted by X4biddenxLustX So the more cards the better for your credit score? More cards = death for me from going broke =[ I'm going to stop these trips to the mall seriously. No more ebay. No more sale thread visits. And maybe just no more MAC for a while.

Generally speaking, yes...IF you practice caution and care with them. If you have, say, $20k in AVAILABLE credit, but you've only charged $500, then you have low utilization, which can help your score.

I'm a member of a credit repair forum (everything there is free, btw), and I spent an entire year repairing mine and hubby's credit, only to have it destroyed when he got sick and almost died, and we ended up losing our house.

So, long story short, yes, more cards are good for your score, but only if you are very smart with them. Someone that gets $20k in credit and then maxes them out will be screwed score wise.

 

[Fataliya]

Quote:

Originally Posted by X4biddenxLustX I'm not gonna lie. I LOVE shopping. I think everyone does lol. It's just that I keep doing it over and over again too frequently in such a short span of time. I honestly can't say that I won't shop at all like ever again. It just needs to be turned down like a 100 notches cause what's been going on is TOO MUCH. Regular 2-4 visits maximum to the mall a month that didn't involve spending too much money have now turned into 2-4 times a week. I guess the bottom line is no, I don't want to stop shopping. I just want it to be on a level that is affordable and reasonable for me. No more careless spending at every single store. No more worrying about how am I going to pay this and that off on time. I want to be able to enjoy it occasionally but not have to worry about those types of things. I have $1.42 in my bank account right now so that they don't close my account. I took out all the money I made from my most recent paycheck and tax return. Tomorrow all of that money is going towards paying off one of the credit cards I had been using. I'm going to have to be doing this for the next what...2 or 3 months I think? Plus I'm hoping to pick up this other job (not VS, I already realized that that would not be a good idea) to get some more money. Now all of that does not make me feel good in the least bit.

I think the easiest (well, easiest to figure out, perhaps not easiest to actually DO), is to only buy what you can afford to PAY IN FULL when the bill comes. If you want to charge $100, and you can afford to PIF, then do it. But that means, make sure your essential life bills are paid first (food, water, electricity, etc.)

But you can't do that until your balances are paid off, hun.

 

[luvsic]

Girl I hear you. My parents' eyes boggled out of their heads when they saw my monthly bill...all spent on clothes too. My advice is to make an excel spreadsheet. I have done this for myself and it has helped tremendously. Already I have overspent this month, so I already cut myself off and haven't been spending lately, until I get my bill.

Here is what I do:

EVERY time you spend something, keep the receipt and write down exactly how much you've spent on the sheet. Give yourself a limit each month (or in my case with each paycheck I get) and check and update that sheet weekly, if not daily. This way, you will know where your money is going so you don't wake up one day wondering why you don't have anymore!

Good luck, please ask if you have any more questions or need details on starting a spreadsheet!

 

[Fataliya]

Another trick I've read about:

Get a tupperware container and fill it with water. Put your credit cards inside. Stick the container in the freezer.

When you want to buy something, you will have to wait for the big ass iceberg to melt. THAT will give you time to THINK about that possible purchase.

Another idea? Cut the damn cards up and just DONT USE THEM ANYMORE. You can't use what you don't have.

 

[X4biddenxLustX]

Again thanks ladies!

I just paid off my Mastercard on the 1st, it was paid in full. Cause it was $526 and with interest I would of been charged over $100. A lot of people have been telling me to just pay off the minimum every month or as much as I can without paying in full. But interest would seriously kill me. So I'm glad that card is taken care of. I just have my Macy's, VS, and Discover these next 2 months to worry about. I'm scared to look at how much I owe on those. But I just want to get it all done and over with. This really is insane.

I don't want to add anything else to these credit cards cause it's never going to end if I don't nip it in the butt now. I just won't go out all that much anymore. My mom had suggested that if I wanted to go out to the mall or wherever to just go and window shop. Window shopping always turns into real shopping for me though. My mom can do it without spending at all and being tempted but I can't for sure. I can't quite completely explain it, but basically when I shop I'm a different person in a good way. I'm not stressing out at that moment, I'm carefree, and so relaxed. I'm never that way any other time in my life. It just feels so damn good. That's the hardest part about stopping this.

 

[exoticarbcqen]

wow, some of the things I have been reading in this thread are insane. People are living WAY BEYOND there means. If you are making $8/hr part time and have $800-$1000+ debt you are carrying on your credit cards + 10-25% interest rate...that to me is beyond careless and irresponsible. No material object is worth going into debt for, if you cant pay for it in CASH then guess what? you CANT AFFORD IT. end of story. No wonder the US is in its current economic state..because we have millions of people trying to keep up with the joneses', when they are making 1/4 of what they spend....gross.

 

[User49]

Yeah I agree but as someone who has been there and back i compleatly understand. Weather it be with the latest mac make up or the latest car or the lastest all saints dress i think shopping makes people feel good. And I have to say I blame a lot of companies! How can a credit card company justify giving a 18 year old for example $5000 when they have no real reason for it? Of course they're going to spend it all in one go! Iti's really sad that this is how it is. I don't even think a lot of people are trying to 'keep up with the joneses", I think a lot of people just want new stuff. It's not like a reality check that they can't afford it makes a difference when there are logos, advertisements everywhere saying 'have a credit card'. Like for example the master card advertisements "life is easier with mastercard"... it's all too easy to get into debt. In all honesty I don't think I know anyone who doesn't have debt...

 

[X4biddenxLustX]

^^ I totally agree.

Sounds crazy but I'm at a meh point in my life and shopping is one of the very few things that gives me that little moment of happiness. The shittier I feel the more I shop. Wow...typing that just made me realize how unhappy I am about my life right now. Not to get off topic but I just have so much going on and I don't know how to deal with it. So I guess this shopping is a way of distraction..?

And those sales and promotions are killers seriously. My excuse had been that there is such a good deal going on, I can't miss it. But then I go overboard with it instead of just getting 1 or 2 little things I walk out with like 10 things. Not good. I'm having another moment of realization....I have too much crap. I really don't need anymore.

Has anyone felt like there is a pressure to keep up with appearances? Like wearing the nicest this or that. I live in a richer area but come from an average modest income. And I just can't help sometimes but feel jealous of those girls with like 15 bags of things in their hands around the mall. ALL designer and expensive stuff. I just wanted to be able to have that feeling just once. Now its enough.

I'm about to start my second job soon hopefully, and possibly work at my mom's work on days when they are under staffed and need an extra hand. I REALLY want to pay these cards off in full.