Spending going out of control?

[Frosting]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fataliya I think the easiest (well, easiest to figure out, perhaps not easiest to actually DO), is to only buy what you can afford to PAY IN FULL when the bill comes.

This! I don't ever spend money I don't have. To me, that would be way too stressful and I can't imagine doing that to myself, even with a small amount of money. It's so important to learn and exercise self-discipline or you'll get yourself into a world of trouble besides bad debt. It's just a trait that every happy, healthy adult needs to develop. DO NOT blame the credit card companies because they did not make you overspend. You have to take responsibility for your actions or you will never improve.

Also, it's good to have a hobby, a good book, or something that you can distract yourself with when you want to shop. If your time is occupied doing other enjoyable things then you won't be as tempted. Also, limit your time on the internet. Make a mental list of things you want to look at or accomplish and then GET OFF the computer and do something fun and free. Call a friend to hang out with you. Any good friend would be happy to distract you and provide emotional support by making you laugh and engaging in good conversation.

Whatever you do, MAKE A PLAN. Write down the exact steps you're going to do, whatever they may be, to discourage and control the shopping. It might sound silly, but it will make it easier if you're organized and official with yourself about it. It's much harder to blow off at that point. Shopping is not that different from any other addiction and it helps so much to face it and treat it like one. We've all got our issues so it's nothing to be ashamed of. Even if it feels like no one in your "real life" is supporting you or believing in your ability to conquer this, remember that you obviously have people here who care enough to listen to you and be there for you whenever you're having a hard time getting through the day. You can do it!

 

[X4biddenxLustX]

^^

I do agree that I think I'm spending a lot cause I feel as if I have nothing else better to do. I live in the suburbs by a lot of shops. And don't really have any friends that live here. I just don't really mesh well with people here. It's like I can befriend them but never to the point where I can freely let go and be myself, I hope that makes sense. We'd be more like acquaintances really. I miss my friends from my old neighborhood and I am trying to reconnect with them again and make plans to hang out and stuff. But it's been a bit difficult cause we all work, and they go to school and do their own thing. I do really want to make it a goal this summer to hang out with them again and talk to them on a regular basis or as much as we can considering our schedules. Probably another goal is getting my license so I could come out and hang out with people more. That could also lead to me getting a much better job which would just make me feel so much better.

In the mean while...I'm trying to figure out some things I could start doing as a hobby that don't include spending massive amounts of money or having to be around others. Off the top of my head I could start exercising more, watching movies, learning how to cook.

I think I probably should be spending more time at home anyways until the end of May so I can be with my mom. She's going away back to China for at least 2 months to see doctors there and I will really miss her. Plus I really don't want to worry her with my spending. She had went through my room and found a TON of things I had bought over the last few months.

 

[L1LMAMAJ]

holy crap. i belong in this thread. i used to buy and buy and buy. sometimes i would rebuy the same shit on accident cuz i forget i already bought it. now i'm trying to desperately sell my shit cuz it's just too much for me. it's overwhelming. i used to buy because i was BORED. sad.

i was in "debt" kind of. just about 1 grand but I paid it off in a timely manner. it accummulated soon after i got my first credit card. i was like OOOOOOOOH i can buy stufffff and get it right now! instant gratification. now i know better. i hardly buy any makeup anymore. i'm just trying to use up my old stuff.

 

[exoticarbcqen]

you cant blame the credit cards for giving people credit, some people actually utilize credit for legitimate purposes ie. unexpected bill, flights, hotels, car rentals etc NOT for frivilous spending like makeup and clothes. I get that people want the newest and hottest stuff, but guess what? there is always going to be something more expensive, better looking, more valuable that even with a $5000 limit you probably wont be able to charge.

I am no expert, I spend alot of money in Nordstrom's savvy department [true religions, elizabeth & james, mike & chris, christian louboutin shoes, chanel and balenciaga handbags etc etc] but, you NEED to limit yourself. I KNOW I cant walk into Hermes and buy a $15k bag, just because I have the space on a credit card doesn't mean I can afford it.

you need to take responsibility for your spending, dont blame the credit card companies. They cant help it when people abuse their privileges. That also reminds me of the "fat/obese" people who "sue" fast food chains because it caused them to be fat, or people who sue cigarette companies because it gave them cancer, its just a bullshit excuse to blame everyone else except themselves.

 

[LaVixxen]

pshhh you guys are bragging about owing $1000 Pshhhh lol sadly I owe 14,000. Thats with all my credit cards added up. But its okay before I owed 12,000 and paid it in a year so it isnt too bad. If you can pay it pretty quick I see no big deal.

Shopping sometimes makes a sad person happy. Its like therapy a bad kind of therapy but it doesn't mean you cant indulge in things you want.

My grandma always told me you only live once so do whatever makes you happy. I really dont stress debt. But that's just me, I may come off irresponsible but I do pay it off always before a year or in a year.

 

[LadySutcliffe]

To the OP - I think you are very brave to be so honest about your spending habits, and I wish you all the best with your resolution to pay off your debts and learn to enjoy shopping responsibly.

There are some pretty judgemental comments on here which I'm guessing come from one who have never been in debt themselves.

Fine, nobody HAS to buy makeup, but it's hard to resist all the constant, stupid materialistic marketing cr** that tells you you are worthless if you don't look a certain way, have a certain thing...especially for young girls now, they see EVERYONE has a designer bag or whatever, whereas when I was growing up only wealthy people had these things.

Financial institutions lend money to people so they will spend more than they can afford and pay back huge amounts of interest. They are not there to help people, they're there to make money and lots of it, and they have steadily ramped up the amount of credit/mortgage/whatever that people can get, in the sure knowledge people would struggle to pay and they would make obscene amounts of money in interest. Governments should have intervened and they haven't, but now the financial institutions themselves are in trouble they can't do enough to help! Advertisers want our money and have brainwashed us into thinking we "need" things.

I am not saying that people don't need to take responsibility for their spending, but that is what the OP is doing and we should applaud her for that.

You never know what life has in store, when you will lose your job, or get ill, and not be able to pay your rent, so I don't think anyone can sit in judgement on people with debt.

I was ill, couldn't work and got into debt, and it was horrible, it literally kept me awake at night, so I know how it feels. I hope anybody who is in debt gets help to get out of it and I wish you ALL peace and prosperity!

 

[BEA2LS]

i have been there after a bad break up with a boyfriend at the time.
i shopped - designer clothes, designer handbags (LV, coach, dooney), MAC, urban decay,tiffany jewlery, you name it. i still have no idea why Chase would give someone unemployed such a high credit limit.
but i maxed it out, seriously. and i paid it back and it sucked and now i am so broke i would kill for a credit card i could use for gas and groceries and pay back on payday. but my credit is trashed now.
i understand the shopping thing, just please be careful

 

[ginger9]

My spending is not out of control but I can give some suggestions as to how to curb impulse buying.

I used to impulse buy and I became disturbed by the waste since some of it I never wear or use. I'll actually find items weeks/months later still in the shopping bag that I totally forgotten about. Anyway, here are somethings that work for me.

1. When you see a bargain and you start to get hot and feverish (ladies you know what I'm talking about) and you have a shopping bag full of stuff, DO NOT check out at this point. You want to have a clear head when you go to pay. What I do is walk around the store with the stuff in my hand (this way you'll still feel secure) and then asking yourself a series of questions, 1) do I need this? 2) am I going to get use out of this purchase and how much use? 3) do I have something just like it (go over inventory of things you have). Eventually I start to put stuff back. Often times I walk out with nothing.

2. Make an excel spreadsheet/list of all the things you have. Better organization and visual presentation of your possessions makes a big difference. This is how I stopped buying so much MU. I think I have enough for the rest of my life (well, before they go bad).

3. My rule is pay off all credit card do not carry a balance.

4. Budget. A girl still needs to spoil herself, so give yourself a budget for splurges but keep track of it. Don't go over the set amount.

5. Find cheaper ways to perk up a blue mood aside from shopping

ie. a movie, rollerblading, working out, reading etc.