Why can't an ugly girl get a fine man? Yet an ugly man can date a super modle?

[carandru]

Quote:

Originally Posted by NutMeg I understand what you meant, now that you've clarified in several posts, and I do think it's an interesting question. A word of advice though, if you want informed interesting responses, post a clear and interesting first post. Based on your OP, people not only had no idea what you were talking about, but had a hard time taking the discussion seriously. If you wanted to post that conversation between you and your friend to clarify, great, but that shouldn't be the whole post. Remember that this is an international forum, and for people who don't understand the kind of language you were using because of their location or language barriers, adding to the discussion is going to be pretty difficult. *backs out of the way of the discussion*

Just wanted to say dittoX2. I do think your actual question is an interesting one..and I would have to give it more thought to come up w/ an answer. But like Nutmeg stated, although you have clarified your question, your OP made/makes it difficult to start a serious discussion on the topic. I think perhaps asking "are woman held to higher beauty standards than men?" and citing some of the examples of you used may have been a better approach... lol, minus the local vernacular of course.

 

[carandru]

Quote:

Originally Posted by lara Why would you call anyone 'dog faced' in the first place? Ugly words come from an ugly personality. If this entire thread is indicative of the way you think about and treat people, then your looks are the last thing you need to concern yourself about when it comes to being an attractive person in the eyes of those around you.

ouch!

 

[ThePerfectScore]

Quote:

Originally Posted by carandru ouch!

haha Yeah.. when i read that I was thinking, she don't know me like that. haha But then I thought a more eloquent response would be better appreciated on this site.

 

[TISH1124]

Quote:

Originally Posted by carandru ouch!

Don't mess with Lara...She don't come out to play often...Takes something really great or something really bothersome to bring her out to the playground... ...But when she does ...she will light you up like 200ft tall Christmas Tree!!

 

[Lapis]

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeavenLeiBlu Okay, to address the Tiny/TI situation. Tiny was with his ass when he wasn't shit, still out on the corner up to no good, letting him lay up in HER HOME and he was cutting tracks in the studio on HER DIME. If nothing else, ( aside from support for his children with her) she deserves his loyalty for that. He owes a lot of his success to her kindness. Second, she ain't gotta dig for his gold. Tiny may not be Oprah status as far as her finances are concerned... this woman co-wrote NO SCRUBS ( ironic, given her relationship with TI at the time), among other hits, and please beleive she and her children are still eating off that money. Third, I don't find Tiny particularly attractive personally, but that's just it. It's my PERSONAL opinion. Of course he can have whomever he likes, but he keeps finding his way back to her. Whether that desire is based on her physical appearance or not is his PERSONAL choice. I don't think TI is attractive, but that's because he's physically not my type. What I've SEEN of his personality is sexy, but his jailbird past is a turnoff so who's to say intangibles aren't what attracts him to the women he chooses. For the record, I see plenty of men that I find physically attractive with woman (or men) who don't "match", in MY OPINION. Hell, I don't do too shabby with the fellas and I know people may harbor the same opinion when I'm on a man's arm. The problem with this discussion as it were, is that this is a highly personal thing. Someone could be saying the same thing about you, your friend and y'all's men, if you have one. Know what I mean, jellybean?

Lord Tiny and TI bring out the UGLY in women, I keep hearing he should break up with her and I say the same thing you did and they get pissed.


Now on topic, I have this happening a fair amount in my relationship women will STARE at dh, hit on him etc and seem to think he shouldn't be with me cause he is more attractive than I am, I've had a female tell me she should be with my man, and I with hers because I don't care about looks so I can deal with a less attractive man

I actually heard a girl ask another "how did that fat bitch get him?"

I think as long as people are going to be caught up in the physical and judging on that they are never going to understand what love is.

 

[TISH1124]

Never understand or get a man that truly LOVES and Appreciates them for who they really are...Not who they make up to be...Inside we all have a heart that pumps red blood!

 

[carandru]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lapis Lord Tiny and TI bring out the UGLY in women, I keep hearing he should break up with her and I say the same thing you did and they get pissed. Now on topic, I have this happening a fair amount in my relationship women will STARE at dh, hit on him etc and seem to think he shouldn't be with me cause he is more attractive than I am, I've had a female tell me she should be with my man, and I with hers because I don't care about looks so I can deal with a less attractive man I actually heard a girl ask another "how did that fat bitch get him?" I think as long as people are going to be caught up in the physical and judging on that they are never going to understand what love is.

Girl, I would have been heated!!! It's one thing to think something, but it's a whole different ballgame when you openly disrespect me. Lol. There's actually a coworker of my dh who thinks I'm too fine for my hubby. We all went out one night, and he was standing RIGHT BEHIND ME when he asked "how that lame pull such a tight wife?" Mind you we're the only married couple w/ us and I'm about 99.9% positive he was talking about us (AND probably b/c he was staring at me all night as well...eeew, with those bedroom eyes). Man, it took everything in me to not chew him out right then and there...but I didn't want to make it all uncomfortable at work for the dh. Although I did tell that guy "You know it's really LAME to lust after someone's WIFE" before we left. Haha... I think he just assumed I was drunk though.

And just like you said, anyone caught up so much in the physical will never really know love until they get over that.

 

[TISH1124]

That is so funny...My dh and I were at a club one night and he left to go to the bathroom...and this dude came up and said, Was that your man...I said No he is my husband...he said well just say the word and he will be pushing up concrete by sunrise and it can be just me and you baby...you would look better with me....Ahhh WTF...I said Oh that's an attractive offer...However murderers have never made me moist!

People say some stupid shit!! I swear!

 

[MzzRach]

Quote:

Originally Posted by TISH1127 However murderers have never made me moist! People say some stupid shit!! I swear!

No you DIDN'T!

It's not remotely funny that he even joked about threatening your man, but OMG, I just burst out laughing when I read your commentary on that. Oh snap!

 

[carandru]

Quote:

Originally Posted by TISH1127 That is so funny...My dh and I were at a club one night and he left to go to the bathroom...and this dude came up and said, Was that your man...I said No he is my husband...he said well just say the word and he will be pushing up concrete by sunrise and it can be just me and you baby...you would look better with me....Ahhh WTF...I said Oh that's an attractive offer...However murderers have never made me moist! People say some stupid shit!! I swear!

So mad that he actually believes:
1) You will date him after he murdered your husband
2) You decided to spend THE REST OF YOUR LIFE w/ someone b/c you look good WITH them. Hell, I know my dh's good looks are no where near enough to make me put up w/ the stresses of marriage.

 

[Lapis]

Quote:

Originally Posted by carandru Girl, I would have been heated!!! It's one thing to think something, but it's a whole different ballgame when you openly disrespect me. Lol. There's actually a coworker of my dh who thinks I'm too fine for my hubby. We all went out one night, and he was standing RIGHT BEHIND ME when he asked "how that lame pull such a tight wife?" Mind you we're the only married couple w/ us and I'm about 99.9% positive he was talking about us (AND probably b/c he was staring at me all night as well...eeew, with those bedroom eyes). Man, it took everything in me to not chew him out right then and there...but I didn't want to make it all uncomfortable at work for the dh. Although I did tell that guy "You know it's really LAME to lust after someone's WIFE" before we left. Haha... I think he just assumed I was drunk though. And just like you said, anyone caught up so much in the physical will never really know love until they get over that.

the only reason I did not freak on her, her bf was my bff (now ex-bff) he was happy with her, I don't know if she'll ever be happy with him, but I hope she is cause they are married and have kids now

The thing is dh does not think he's cute plus he has aspergers so flirtation/hints go over his head so all his ex-coworkers who used to be overly friendly always lose patience cause he never really gets that they are hitting on him, lol and now he works with 98% men so no workmates calling all hours cause they need help/advice

it's a beautiful thing I'm married to a cute geek, he admits he only had the heart to even try at me because we were friends, had great chemistry and the night of our first kiss we were tipsy

Oh and altho I'm not a 10 and I've always been plus sized, I've always dated attractive guys and men that traditionally should be caught up in the trophy wife hype, I have ex's that are models, doctors, lawyers etc and it's always been them coming to me and not me running them down, so truthfully to me the topic is sort of null and void, cause I've always gotten fine men

Quote:

Originally Posted by TISH1127 That is so funny...My dh and I were at a club one night and he left to go to the bathroom...and this dude came up and said, Was that your man...I said No he is my husband...he said well just say the word and he will be pushing up concrete by sunrise and it can be just me and you baby...you would look better with me....Ahhh WTF...I said Oh that's an attractive offer...However murderers have never made me moist! People say some stupid shit!! I swear!

yes cause murder is soo attractive, what an ass!

 

[3jane]

Actually, most people end up with partners about the same level of attractiveness as they are (see: matching hypothesis).

 

[TISH1124]

I personally don't believe that...But perhaps....

 

[JustSloan]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ClaireAvril who the hell are we to judge someone else's opinion.

That's what Im saying.

People get caught up in the media hype.
"How dare she treat him like that..."
Or..
"Chris brown beat her butt.. she had that coming..."

Um, excuse me... but if your business was all out in the street, you'd take offense.

Do onto others. Leave people be. NEXT!

 

[ThePerfectScore]

Quote:

Originally Posted by 3jane Actually, most people end up with partners about the same level of attractiveness as they are (see: matching hypothesis).

Thanks 3Jane! Because of you I just did some research on this using resources at school and that really is an interesting psychological- sociological hypothesis. I love the psychological study of attractiveness where they take computer rendered images of a photograph and change things like proportion and size and have people rate the level of attractiveness. I've done one study myself in school in which I measured how eye direction affects how much people trust a person, and which feelings they associate with certain eye directions such as looking down to the left elicits more people to predict the person in the picture is depressed.

 

[Fataliya]

Quote:

Originally Posted by chocolategoddes If an ugly man is dating a supermodel, chances are he's either rich, funny, or has a big dick.

Sad, ain't it though?

To me, ugly is inside, not outside. I'm sure there are women who don't think my husband is hot, but he is to me, and he's so sweet and caring, so that's all that matters.

Now, if you've got an ugly soul....I don't care if you're a chocolate covered millionaire, holding Jimmy Choo's in one hand, and the keys to a MAC store in the other....Ya gets none.

 

[Fataliya]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThePerfectScore Everyone whether consciously or subconsciously judges people based on superficial attributes at one time or another. It's they way humans are wired. Nothing wrong with being human, we don't always have to be so politically correct. Just like we all are a little racist or we all have some prejudices. We aren't morally perfect, we are human.

Woah....

No we are NOT all a little bit racist. No way, no how.

 

[MissResha]

 

[ThePerfectScore]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fataliya Woah.... No we are NOT all a little bit racist. No way, no how.

We organize our brain with schemata. So your brain is naturally hardwired to organized people by certain characteristics and usually one of the first 2 things you notice about a person is race (external skin color) and gender. So when you see people for the first time your mind quickly retrieves preconceived notions of any person, object or situation based on your experiences in the past and social and cultural norms. So it's an evolutionary defense to ensure your survival to look at something and make a snap judgment about how to react and approach the on coming stimuli. I hope I explained that clearly enough. But if not let me also put it in other words, it is impossible to live and interact in a world without having a preconceived idea about any category of people. Race is a social construct not a biological reality, (ask any anthropologist) and you base your notion of "race" and what is is to be of that "race" by societal requirements that are not necessarily politically correct or biologically accurate. I am just saying we as humans are not morally fool-proof, we may judge a person based on superficial things at first until that time we have first hand interaction and experience with that person. So do some research on human nature before you dispute a statement.

 

[Fataliya]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThePerfectScore We organize our brain with schemata. So your brain is naturally hardwired to organized people by certain characteristics and usually one of the first 2 things you notice about a person is race (external skin color) and gender. So when you see people for the first time your mind quickly retrieves preconceived notions of any person, object or situation based on your experiences in the past and social and cultural norms. So it's an evolutionary defense to ensure your survival to look at something and make a snap judgment about how to react and approach the on coming stimuli. I hope I explained that clearly enough. But if not let me also put it in other words, it is impossible to live and interact in a world without having a preconceived idea about any category of people. Race is a social construct not a biological reality, (ask any anthropologist) and you base your notion of "race" and what is is to be of that "race" by societal requirements that are not necessarily politically correct or biologically accurate. I am just saying we as humans are not morally fool-proof, we may judge a person based on superficial things at first until that time we have first hand interaction and experience with that person. So do some research on human nature before you dispute a statement.

I don't have any preconceived notions about any race. If I don't like someone, it's because they're an asshole, not because they're a certain race.

I'm an equal opportunity hater, lol.

No preconceived notions here. Ok, maybe when it comes to backwoods Deliverance type hillbillies, but that's about it.

But that's not a race so much as it is a way of life.