Why can't an ugly girl get a fine man? Yet an ugly man can date a super modle?

[ThePerfectScore]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fataliya I don't have any preconceived notions about any race. If I don't like someone, it's because they're an asshole, not because they're a certain race. I'm an equal opportunity hater, lol. No preconceived notions here. Ok, maybe when it comes to backwoods Deliverance type hillbillies, but that's about it. But that's not a race so much as it is a way of life.

I love how you justified your answer with a preconceived notion. Preconceived does not mean bad! it just means forming an idea prior to experience. You can have a positive preconceived notion about a person, it just means you formulated your thought before interacting with that person. So I never said when you have preconceived notion it is because you don't like the person it is because of, like I said before, we organize our mind with schemata or mental sets to elicit relatively automatic thought. It helps humans and animals cognitively function at faster speeds, so that we can actually function and interact with the world around us.

 

[M.A.C. head.]

This post can be looked at in so many ways. I sort of feel like I lucked out with my man. He's very good looking, not "cut" but he has a handsome body. I'm quite the opposite. I don't go out places with him a lot, unless it's a family thing, because I feel...IDK...out of place, standing next to him. But at the same time, he tells me I'm beautiful and he treats me very well.

I think it really boils down to a persons perception and motives. Maybe my love just loves me for who I am and who I am makes me beautiful to him, a girl can dream huh? LOL

I dated a guy once that was butt fucking ugly, but you know what? I REALLY liked him a lot, and he was my longest relationship after the one I'm in now. He didn't have tons of money either, or a big dick LMAO But he cared about me a lot and he showed me.

 

[ThePerfectScore]

Quote:

Originally Posted by M.A.C. head. This post can be looked at in so many ways. I sort of feel like I lucked out with my man. He's very good looking, not "cut" but he has a handsome body. I'm quite the opposite. I don't go out places with him a lot, unless it's a family thing, because I feel...IDK...out of place, standing next to him. But at the same time, he tells me I'm beautiful and he treats me very well. I think it really boils down to a persons perception and motives. Maybe my love just loves me for who I am and who I am makes me beautiful to him, a girl can dream huh? LOL I dated a guy once that was butt fucking ugly, but you know what? I REALLY liked him a lot, and he was my longest relationship after the one I'm in now. He didn't have tons of money either, or a big dick LMAO But he cared about me a lot and he showed me.

yeah, personality above all things is important. There are so be a mutal level of respect and admiration between people in order for any relationship to work. You can be with the most attractive (in the conventional sense of the word) person in the world and the compatibility is lacking.

It's like on SATC when Charlotte was ashamed of Harry and tried to have a sex only relationship with him because he wasn't conventionally attractive and she was ashamed of him . But when she stopped caring about what others thought she found her dream man who treats her like a queen.

 

[Shimmer]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fataliya I don't have any preconceived notions about any race. If I don't like someone, it's because they're an asshole, not because they're a certain race. I'm an equal opportunity hater, lol. No preconceived notions here. Ok, maybe when it comes to backwoods Deliverance type hillbillies, but that's about it. But that's not a race so much as it is a way of life.

Appreciate that.
Thanks.
But it's okay. We're white hillbillies who just don't know no better. We can take it.

 

[ThePerfectScore]

hahaha

 

[Fataliya]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThePerfectScore I love how you justified your answer with a preconceived notion. Preconceived does not mean bad! it just means forming an idea prior to experience. You can have a positive preconceived notion about a person, it just means you formulated your thought before interacting with that person. So I never said when you have preconceived notion it is because you don't like the person it is because of, like I said before, we organize our mind with schemata or mental sets to elicit relatively automatic thought. It helps humans and animals cognitively function at faster speeds, so that we can actually function and interact with the world around us.

Ahh, but since "hillbillies" aren't a race, I stand by my statement that not ALL humans are racist.

 

[Fataliya]

ETA: NM...Thread is way too serious so I'll back out now.

 

[ThePerfectScore]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fataliya Ahh, but since "hillbillies" aren't a race, I stand by my statement that not ALL humans are racist.

when i said everyone is a little bit racist I was referring to the fact that everyone at one time or another has unfairly had a thought about someone that was based on race. Its just the way every culture is, we have elements in which race matters. Even if you are taking a standardized test and they ask you to circle your "race". Why does that even matter? Because humans conceptualize the world in terms of likes and differences. The fact we acknowledge race as a difference means that everyone to some degree is racist …its inherent..even if they don't necessarily act on it. Because from a biological stand point there is no way to truly determine ones race. The people who make up a "race" do not all have one common feature or features. There is way too much variation in the human form to actually typify a race. There is no chromosomal determinate of clear cut racial groups. In fact it is quite possible that people of different "races" can have more similar DNA than of people within their own "race". So the differences we conceptualize as "race" have societal ramifications whether you like it or not.

 

[jackie100]

Its because in general men look for looks in a woman and women tend to look for financial security. I am NOT stereotyping, I'm just saying in general, that's how it is. Men who are successful, most of them want a knockout on their arm.
Women are usually more forgiving about a man with less than stellar looks.

It may be politically incorrect to say but men tend to be more superficial when it comes to look. An unattractive man can get a model type as long as he has money; there will be plenty of model types who will flock to him.

A male friend once told me that a man's number #1 asset is money and a woman's is her looks.

I do not agree with ANY of this and I think it is F'ed up. Unfortunately this is the way it is in society.

 

[ThePerfectScore]

Quote:

Originally Posted by jackie100 Its because in general men look for looks in a woman and women tend to look for financial security. I am NOT stereotyping, I'm just saying in general, that's how it is. Men who are successful, most of them want a knockout on their arm. Women are usually more forgiving about a man with less than stellar looks. It may be politically incorrect to say but men tend to be more superficial when it comes to look. An unattractive man can get a model type as long as he has money; there will be plenty of model types who will flock to him. A male friend once told me that a man's number #1 asset is money and a woman's is her looks. I do not agree with ANY of this and I think it is F'ed up. Unfortunately this is the way it is in society.

Well said...
in my personality theories class we examined this closer.
There is a theory about Mate Selection and Competition for Mates between the genders.
The Psychologist Robert Trivers states that males and females evolved different strategies to compete for mate based on their roles in reproduction. Women nurture young, men are hard wired to procreate often and with as many partners as possible (one reason why men generate sperm throughout their lifetime, while females have a sex number of eggs at birth)
Men view women as Sex objects and Women view men as success objects to care for them and their young.

And in a study about what is more detrimental to a relationship: the results were men valued Partner’s sexual infidelity. While women cared more about their partner’s emotional attachment to another more so than physical cheating.

They are all very interesting theories. It's fun to hear what all of you think.

 

[lafemmenoir]

To be honest, I am SOOOO over celebrities. It's in my face but I CHOOSE not to watch, read, engage etc. in their lives. Right now I'm counting the blessings of what little I have and why compare or observe people who are living in a completely different world than I? For instance, the Oscars were not interesting to me, and I love beauty, and that is the Grand Pooba (sp) of lavish, luxurious, elegance, and beauty but it's superficial. They don't care about me, why should I care about who they are involved with. I see every combination of couples and I don't take much thought into why who is with whom, heck she may have met him and he was unattractive or vice versa. People love people for different reasons, it's not always appearance and penis size, but maybe it is when your shallow. Beauty fades, people gain/lose weight and guess what? They lose money too, but then what? I don't know about who dates who even though I see headlines, forums, etc. I choose not to have things that are not affecting me in a positive way, or improving me to be in my element, it's a waste of time. I have too much to handle than to pontificate on why X is with Y. As a double major, it may be interesting as a topic, but it appears it runs a bit more deep to you. Also, try spell check before you turn in your papers, just sayin

 

[ThePerfectScore]

Quote:

Originally Posted by lafemmenoir To be honest, I am SOOOO over celebrities. It's in my face but I CHOOSE not to watch, read, engage etc. in their lives. Right now I'm counting the blessings of what little I have and why compare or observe people who are living in a completely different world than I? For instance, the Oscars were not interesting to me, and I love beauty, and that is the Grand Pooba (sp) of lavish, luxurious, elegance, and beauty but it's superficial. They don't care about me, why should I care about who they are involved with. I see every combination of couples and I don't take much thought into why who is with whom, heck she may have met him and he was unattractive or vice versa. People love people for different reasons, it's not always appearance and penis size, but maybe it is when your shallow. Beauty fades, people gain/lose weight and guess what? They lose money too, but then what? I don't know about who dates who even though I see headlines, forums, etc. I choose not to have things that are not affecting me in a positive way, or improving me to be in my element, it's a waste of time. I have too much to handle than to pontificate on why X is with Y. As a double major, it may be interesting as a topic, but it appears it runs a bit more deep to you. Also, try spell check before you turn in your papers, just sayin

Trust me. I am an A student who attends a very good school. And I can spell model. It is called a typo... and I acknowledged that fact. So thank you for your concern about my academic well being. And for your information I believe it is spelled Grand Poobah, but then again I could be wrong.

 

[06290714]

Oh my..I just happened to be randomly looking at posts and the title of this one caught my eye than I skimmed thru the orginal post and was like

HUH? Than I got sucked in and read all 4 pages of responses!

Everybody has opinions and different stand points and that is what makes us all different, unique, & beautiful people

I for one believe that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, simple as that.

Now lets hug

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because...
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[06290714]

And one more thing, ugly is such a horrible word! Who are we to dictate whose attractive or not attractive? Sure it's your own opinion, but if you don't have anything nice to say about somebody don't say anything at all.

 

[3jane]

re: everyone's a little bit racist...
https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/
Try the race test.

It's perhaps more accurate to say that people often have (unfair) prejudices. Being aware of those is useful. Most people think "racist" means KKK-style overt hateful actions/words. Almost all decent people wouldn't want to act like that, or condone such thinking/behavior. Often, it's the subtler stuff that can be problematic.

 

[ThePerfectScore]

re: everyone's a little bit racist...
https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/
Try the race test.

It's perhaps more accurate to say that people often have (unfair) prejudices. Being aware of those is useful. Most people think "racist" means KKK-style overt hateful actions/words. Almost all decent people wouldn't want to act like that, or condone such thinking/behavior. Often, it's the subtler stuff that can be problematic.[/quote]


Yeah I thought by saying a little bit... would help qualify racist, I should know it's a hot button word being that I'm from the south. Silly me.... I do not think people are initially bad, in fact I am a very optimist person and feel there is way more good in this world than bad. We all strive to be as good as we can morally. That's the best we can do. We can never reach perfection, but that's okay.

Everyday I have lunch with white, indian, chinese, korean, black, turkish, and saudi arabian people. We all have very blunt conversations about race, religion, sexuality, politics, basically everything under the sun. And we are the biggest bunch of pollitically incorrect kids. We all start off agreeing not to be offended and we just say it the way we perceive it. So we had one conversation about race, and by the end of that conversation we all agree everyone is "a little bit racist". Then we all moved on from the topic and accepted our faults. I guess I'm a little bit spoiled by having such a diverse group of friends I can debate and discuss hot topics with and then we move on and not hold anything said over another person's head. We can't all articulate our thoughts in the most poetic words all the time. I'm a very stream of conscious type of speakers and I try to think before I speak, but my thoughts can be a little off.

 

[ThePerfectScore]

When I'm not watching Harry Potter I will def do the https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/ Seems interesting. So thanks for the Link!

 

[ThePerfectScore]

My dad just told me on Discovery Channel they are doing studies on attractiveness between the sexes by manipulating pictures of people on a computer. They say that attractiveness is perceived as "good genes" for reproduction.

That's the name of the documentary.
The Science of Sex Appeal

TV-14 (DS), CC

An up close look at what attracts us to each other -- and why. You'll never look at a stranger, your loved one, or yourself in quite the same way again.

 

[CandiGirl21]

Very simple perfect. Here's my opinion...

The ratio of men that are into average women is smaller than the ratio of women into average men. Other women (not me I like 'em fine), don't mind giving all men a chance. They think whatever he lacks in appearance he'll make up for with personality (you know, being caring, loving and supportive). However this isn't a bad thing, but the point is, there's more women then men with this mentality. Causing women to date average men than men dating average women.

BTW, men are visual creatures...they live to have the hottest things.
Hope I helped some

 

[ThePerfectScore]

Candi you helped so much! Thank you. Also this Discovery Channel documentary really helped me understand from an evolutionary standpoint what makes us sexy to possible mates. Like did you guys know the tone of a women's voice changes when she is ovulating? The pitch gets higher which thus equate to more feminine sound which is more attractive. But I find that odd b/c voices like Toni Braxton, Sade, Anita baker are just soooo sexy sounding..... Also one of the studies found that people of similar attractiveness levels pick each other as partners. Also women and men are attracted to different things. One of the things they said was that men's cars increase their attractiveness level! How funny!! They equate this to the same reason why a male peacock is the one that has the beautiful tail feathers. It's a status thing to attract females. WOW... this whole documentary answered the question point blank! So if y'all are sick of my theories just check out this show and get it straight from the scientists.