Children -- yay or nay?

[PMBG83]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beauty Mark Even though I don't want children, in some cases, it is almost impossible to find a doctor who will tie your tubes at my age (22). My friend practically had to beg hers in order to perform the procedure, and she had a fairly compelling case (going blind completely, no job, two kids with two different fathers, both fathers in jail). I mean, I'm on the pill and take it religiously and on time, but it still isn't 100% effective

Oh so true! I tried getting mine tied way back when I was 19. No doctor would do it. They were all like you may change you mind in 5 years or later down the road. I was like I know what I want and it isnt kids, I have way better things to do. I hate kids and I dont want to have to worry about getting pregnant for the next two decades. And yes the pill is my best friend.

 

[PMBG83]

Quote:

Originally Posted by KittieSparkles Since early on I knew I did not want any children. My family always said that I will change my mind when I got older. Now I am older and I am more adamant then ever not to have any. I am one of those people that believe that just because you can reproduce or you want a kid does not mean that you should have one. I truly believe that I am one of those people that should not reproduce. The life decisions that I have made for myself are not “kid friendly”. Now the thing is that most of my family call me selfish for not having children because I do not want to alter my lifestyle but I believe that not only will it be selfish of me to bring a child into this world when I know I cannot give him/her 100% of me it will also be unfair to that child. Aside from that, there is no reason for me to have children. I do not need to carry on the family name (I wouldn’t even if I had a child since the child most likely will carry the father’s last name), My parents do not need grandchildren from me; they have 7 other children that have given them a total of 9 grandchildren and counting, and the population is not dwindling so my offspring is not needed to save the human race. If I did want children or if I ever change my mind (yeah, right) I would adopt before anything else.

Same here, there enough people in the population I dont need to add to it in anyway. I know I wont change my mind b/c when I heard that phrase back when I was 19, I was like huh? Now Im older and I still dont want any.

 

[KikiB]

I hear you there, everyone at work is like "Oh well you'll change your mind" or "Well what if you change your mind?". There is NO changing my mind on this issue. keirii summed up my thoughts as exactly as possible. I'm 20 and I desperately want to get my tubes tied but unlike some of you, I can't go on the pill or anything. I have not a maternal bone in my body.

 

[stacylynne]

I'm 35 years old & I don't want kids. (I have dogs

.
So many of my friends got married young or I would see my friends settling b/c society tells you, you have to get married & have kids.

You do what's right for you. There are so many ppl out there that have kids & do not take care of them or give them the guidelines of life they need.

I know I would be a wonderful mom, but kids are not the right decision for me. I'm financially stable but kids don't fit my life style. I'm self employed & I like to come & go as I please.

So, I pass this on to all the ladies, If you want to have kids & your financially & emotionally ready, go for it.
If you do not want kids, don't have them & don't let anyone else try to talk you into it.
Don't do what society tells you to do. You do what is right for you & tell everyone else to Mind Their Business...

 

[pinkvanilla]

My fiance made it clear to me when we first started talking about marriage etc that he wanted kids. I brought up the conversation because at that stage I was unsure of what I wanted in regards to children, but I know I wanted him. I decided I did want children with him one day!

But for right now, I have a dog at my mum's house, and my fiance and I have a kitten at our house and that is where we both want to be at the moment. One day the children will arrive when we are both emotionally and financially ready.

 

[Lapis]

Yay for me but I already have my 2 and I done with breeding (sorry if that offends)
My family keeps pushing for one more but I'm done, I love the 2 I have another would send me into a tail spin and not a good one either.

 

[nelyanaphonexia]

ugh. I feel so bad for answering this question sometimes because I'm about to get married and everyone, EVE-RY-ONE is asking me "when are you going to start a family!!?!" I will be 24 in Dec. and I feel like I'm too young to have any children to start off with.

Second off, I don't really like children. I know that sounds horrible. But, I didn't like my little brother when he was younger. I didn't like my younger cousins when they were babies. I didn't even like being a child. I just don't like babies or children. I don't associate well with them. I cant have conversations with them and I'll bet that I would suck royally at raising them.

My future husband doesn't like children either. I don't like kids. He doesn't like kids. We don't like kids together the idea of us having kids is pretty much out of the question.

Kind of a more private matter that a lot of people find depressing, but, my doc said that the chances of me ever being able to get pregnant are slim to none. I have female trouble that prevents me from ever being able to have babies. Oh well, doesn't seem like that much of a loss to me. It's a good thing that my brother loves children and my sister-in-law and her husband LOVE LOVE babies and want a HUGE family. So, for the sake of our moms, I'm glad they want tons of rug rats.

So, no. No children for me. I suppose it was a good thing that I didn't want kids, cause I can't have them anyway.

 

[mona lisa]

My view is basically: yay in the future but nay right now.

 

[Tinkee-Belle]

Right now... nay. I DONT like babies.. they scare me. I may change my mind but I doubt it. I am not very maternal. However I LOVE animals. Also I have medical problems thats gunna make it hard for me to get pregnant if I ever wanted to be. I have never been one of those girls that dreamed of getting married and having kids, I have different goals. My friends are popping out kids left right and center and find it weird that I have no interest. At least you girls see where I am coming from!

 

[Bgirl17lovesMAC]

YAY!! I love children, I have one baby girl woohoo lol she just turned 1, and If I were married or whatever I would love to have one more. I am a single mom and it is a bit difficult so right now a next child is way far from my thoughts. But if I could have I would have had 1 more hehehe....

 

[imperfectbeauty]

I absolutely love love love children!! Even if they aren't my own and im babysitting them i will treat them like i would if they were my own. LOL!! Talk about attachment right??!! But i absolutely adore children and they just make me smile...yea they can be difficult but the feeling of having a baby or toddler for that fact fall asleep in your arms and cuddle up into you. I can't explain that feeling!! omg haha im getting all emotional!! They have the cutest little laughs and they do the cutest little things and some not cute things like drawing on walls and such but that's all dependent on parenting.

My fiance and I plan on having 2 children of our own and one adopted. He's completely open to the fact of adopting and children and can't wait till we have our own kids. Whenever i bring up the topic...when are we having our own?? LOL!! He's such a family oriented guy even though he's younger then me. To him and my self our families are everything to us and we both love children. We do plan to wait for a few years after we get married and are financially stable before we decide to bring a new life into this world. Im sure after we get married and both have stable jobs my mom and my mother in law will start bothering me about kids.

 

[yodagirl]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mona lisa My view is basically: yay in the future but nay right now.

This is my view as well. They are cute right now when I can give them back to their parents, but as far as having one of my own right now...No thanks. I'm not going to completely rule out the future though

 

[LeMacDiva]

I love children, but only want to have one. My husband wants two! I'm not sure tho. Who know's what the future may hold.

 

[sweetbabyblue]

My friends always look so shocked when I say 'NAY' to kids. 'But you're such a motherly-hen type!'
I dislike most kids, they drive me nuts and they tire me out. Even spending a few hours with one makes me feel completely drained of energy (and I'm 19! I shouldnt have trouble keeping up! haha)
Honestly, I just dont have the patience for kids, also I worked HARD through school to get into this degree and it's a demanding career that I've chosen (part-time work is basically impossible). This means so much to me and I just would not give up this career to be a mother. If I were to have kids I would want to give them all I can and I would feel like I've cheated them if I sent them to afterschool care everyday and working weekends because I'll feel like I'm not much of a mother to them (I'm not saying that it's bad to have a job and raise kids and they're 'bad' mothers or ANYTHING along the lines of that, in fact I admire working mums for having the energy to balance all this, I just know that it's not something I can do)
Financially speaking I know the salary that my career will bring and it's comfortable for one person but children may be a struggle and I don't want to put someone through that if I can help it.

 

[gabi03]

Little late to the forum but nay for now....and nay for later. I don't care for kids at all, they scream and yell, ask for constant attention, and honestly they're little parasites in my eyes. I know i know thats mean but its me being honest. I've heard of stories about people just being ripped apart down there...if you know what i mean *blank stare* I would not mind adopting at all, i feel there are tons of deserving kids who need someone to love them, but i would probably only get a kid who is already like 3 or 4. I can't do baby stages, i need someone who is already semi self sufficient. But the whole pregnancy thing...a definite nay!

 

[aleksis210]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tinkee-Belle Right now... nay. I DONT like babies.. they scare me. I may change my mind but I doubt it. I am not very maternal. However I LOVE animals. Also I have medical problems thats gunna make it hard for me to get pregnant if I ever wanted to be. I have never been one of those girls that dreamed of getting married and having kids, I have different goals. My friends are popping out kids left right and center and find it weird that I have no interest. At least you girls see where I am coming from!

same. I actually love infants and 6+ but todlers give me anxiety.

 

[ShugAvery2001]

I have 2 kids and I'm a single mom. I have a 16 year old daughter (who has a blood disorder) and a 4 year old son. Motherhood is the most challenging job i've ever had in my life. it's way more complicated than I ever expected. Of course I love my children, but i think it's important for women to know that womanhood is not defined by motherhood.

 

[ShugAvery2001]

Quote:

Originally Posted by PMBG83 Same here, there enough people in the population I dont need to add to it in anyway. I know I wont change my mind b/c when I heard that phrase back when I was 19, I was like huh? Now Im older and I still dont want any.

Right, we're not in a environment where we need to 'replenish the earth'

 

[LadyFaenyx]

I've always wanted a family, and definitely always wanted to be young when I had kids.
My fiance and I are planning to start trying in a few years, so around 2012/2013. (I'll be about 25/26). I don't want to be 30 or close to it when I finally have a family, it's just not something i'm willing to budge on (unless financial reasons stopped us)

Eventually I want to adopt. I do want a large family, at least 2-3 kids of my own, but I would love to adopt 2-3 as well (Older children, NOT babies. Don't get me started on my views about adoption, I just plain & simple don't agree with putting more children into the system, when there are so many who need homes as it is. I would NEVER feel comfortable adopting a baby, when there are toddlers, or young teenagers who need parents too)

My fiance really wants to start trying now. He's had major baby fever the last few years. If I said "yes" right now, he would waste no time, lolol. But with all our plans for the next few years, he knows it's best to wait, because then everything will work out for us.

 

[pink_lily002]

I've pretty much never wanted to have kids. As a kid, I hated playing house, I had no interest in seeing my mom's friends' babies, and I hated getting baby dolls as a gift lol. The motherly side of me has never really been there! Aside from that, there's a myriad of medical issues that could arise if I were to get pregnant - every woman in my family has had problems with pregnancies, ranging from diabetes to death.

There was a period in my life where I talked about having kids, but I think that had to do with the fact that the guy I was seeing wanted kids, and I would do anything to make him happy (this was before I realized he was mentally abusive). I'm comfortable with myself to realize that I like kids, but they're just not for me. I'm perfectly content with being Aunt Corinne, giving my nieces, nephews, and friends' kids sugar and presents, and then sending them back to their parents!