I'd completely forgotten about this post and I've just stumbled across it again and I tought I'd update you all with the latest crazies that have been keeping us entertained for the past few months.
First there's "the regulars", these are the ones that come into store everyday but are pretty much harmless, well lets just say they don't usually engage in conversation and pretty much just pass trough.
"The Family Guy Grandad" Named like so because he looks like him, probably the worst out the bunch, cause a few years ago when the shopping center first opened he used to follow young girls around and expose himself to them. Now he just walks arond with an half vacant look on his face muttering nonesence.
"Mr Funny" Walk trough store every day grinning like a cheshire cat, clearly amused by is own private jokes, and occasionally breaks out into incontrolable laughter, if approached he pretends not to have heard you and walks away with a smirk on his face.
"Mr Cool" Used to be quite aggressive untill he was put on medication, now he just hi-fives everyone he sees and walks around town trying to look cool, he must pass trough store at least 5 times a day.
"Brush Lady" Still see he around and still as crazy but doesn't actually come into store any longer, probably moved on to harrasing someone else now.
Then there's the "one offs"
Rough guy comes in, hangs aroung for a while until my manager asks him if he would like any help, he responds by asking my manager what products he uses on his hair to get it so shiny, my manager is bald...
He proceeds to inform him of that fact and he still want's to know how come it's so shiny, wee all blankly stare at him until he leaves.
Skinny, geeky looking boy comes in and starts asking my manager how he got into doing nails and how hard is it to learn to do and how long it takes.
Manager very kindly explains it all to him and asks him if he's thinking of a career change. He tells us no but he thinks he would be good at it cause he paints little toy figurines for a living, thanks for sharing.
Fast forward to the evening of the same day, guy with a walking stick comes in and asks my manager if he can get his nails done the same way as the lady who's sat down, she's having long, french extensions...
He's kindly told he can have his nails done any way he want's, even extensions if it makes him happy,he asks for a price, takes a card and tell us he'll be back later. Never found out if he did actually come back cause security then shut our entrance and we both then went home.
The above 3 stories happen all in one day.
My store puts out tannoys to inform the customes that the store is closing, it's happens every 5 minutes for the last 15 minutes every day, the last message is the one that tell you that the store is closed.
Last warning goes and all but one entrance on ground floor are closed, two men, very casually walk down from 4 floor like they have all the time in the world to get out.
They notice our entrance on level 3 is shut and go up to the first available assistant and demand that the entrace be opened up for them, she kindly explains that they were pre-warned store was closing and if they wanted to exit trough said entrance they should have done it before the store actually closed, she directs them to the ground floor entrance and they start to kick off.
The other girl that's with her spots trouble and presses the emergency button to call security, the two men are shouting at the poor girl and getting quite aggressive towards her and then procced to try and spit in her face, they are put off in the nick of time cause one of our security gards comes sprinting down the stair, shouting at them to get out.
They run off scared and use ground floors entrance to exit.
Go on my lunch break one day and everything is fine, come back to find one of our staff member doing another staff members nails (from another counter) and two security guards at our station.
At first I didn't think much of it, infact I just assumed they were all having a nice chat but has I get closer to the counter a notice a dirty looking old man slumped on the chair next them, the penny drops and a realise they are clearly there because he's harrasing the girls.
I go beind the counter and one of security asks me why I didn't tell them that a celebrity would be visiting today, I look at him quite blankly and he proceeds to explain the man who's sat down is actually "Steven Spielberg".
He's clearly drunk and stinks of urine like you wouldn't believe it, tells us all about "his" movies and how he's friends with Mohamed Al Fayed and if we don't do his nails he's gonna get him on the phone and make us do him.
He couldn't actually provide us any of his real information and because security was having a little fun with him and he wasn't being actually abusive they didn't get rid of him straight away, it all changed after he told one of the girls she had "great tits" but the other girl "had the most amazing eyes.
He got kicked out shortly after that and made is way to another store and did the exact same thing.
We get this odd looking girl come in asking to get her nails done and I say odd cause she's dressed in the sort of gear you would only wear if you were standing on the corner of some street.
She's booked in with me, I sit her down and whe go trough what finish she wants and how long they need to be, "french manicure" and "as long as possible", okay, clearly a fan of the less is more approach.
I've been doing her nails for maybe half hour so far when a group of lads stop at the entrance and point to my client, clearly reccognising her.
They come in, grab the nearby chairs and surround my customer, instead of looking panicked she actually seems to enjoy it, she takes their name and numbers and I quickly realise that these guys are no friends of hers, I make an excuse to leave for a seond and inform my manager of the situation.
He tries to get rid of them and they surround him, we panick and security comes over to get rid of them.
Five minutes later they are back, grab the same chairs, surround her once more and start to put their hands all over her, she then gives the prices on how much her "services" are and one of them ask me if they can go off together for 5 minutes and he'll tip me £50 for my inconvinience.
Security comes back over and kicks them out once more, and asks me if I'm okay and if I wanna continue with the service, since I'm almost done I tell them I'm fine and I'll tell them what's going on once she's gone, as they hadn't actually heard the conversation between them.
A bunch of her friends come in afterwards (her friends who probably don't know about her little "job on the side") and secuty come over and stay over untill she's gone.
I can laugh about it now but it wasn't funny at the time and it's one story that many people don't believe.
I have got more but I'm off to bed now so I'll add more some other time.
