I completely forgot that I had started this thread, I thought you might all like a little update since I still work in the same store (albeit not for the same counter).
I'll start with the one today. I was sat down doing one of my colleagues nails when all of a sudden she jumped of the chair and asked "what's that smell" sure enough 5 seconds later I could also smell the most putrid scent I've ever smelled in my life! We both look round to the back of the counter and find we are blocked in by this trail of foul smelling brown liquid, we both look at each other in horror and hope that it's not what we think it is but our hope is short lived because it actually turns out to be a trail of shit, diarrhea to be exact.
How the fuck it got there I do not know as I was actually facing that direction the whole time and saw nothing, we presume it's a child who couldn't control a poorly tummy but we can't be sure. We both hop over the stream of poo and return to the main section of the counter, I call the loss prevention office to ask for a cleaner to be sent to shop floor. A minute or two passes and no cleaner as arrived and in the meantime all of the shoppers are walking through the mess on the floor making it worse so another girl I work with calls again and ask for someone to be sent up ASAP.
Eventually someone does turn up with a dustpan and brush!! After establishing that those aren't the tools for the job the guy returns with a mop and bucket and a floor polisher and begins to clean, now I don't know what is crazier, how the shit got there in the fist place or how thick the shoppers were because they proceeded to continue to walk through the area while the cleaners were cleaning.
In the end I stood at the front re-directing traffic the other way so everything could be cleaned up faster.
Around xmas last year there was another poo related incident were a lady literally took a shit on a chair, in broad daylight, on the busiest day of the year (boxing day) and no one saw her do it. The best part of it was that another customer who clearly didn't check the chair beforehand sat on it! All shit (haha) broke loose, the lady complained and the shitty chair was left in the fire corridor until the following day as there were no cleaners in.
A little girl and her mom are shopping on my counter and the little girl is begging her mom to go to the toilet. Little FYI, when your small child asks to go to the loo take them immediately! 5 minutes to a young child is like 5 hours, your shopping can wait.
This poor child's mother decided her needs for mascara were far greater so the child pissed herself on the spot, the guilty mom then ran like the wind out of store!
A small boy was shopping with is mom and grandparents and was complaining that he needed the toilet, instead of doing what all normal human beings would do the mother quickly drinks her Starbuck coffee and lets the little guy piss in the empty cup, I've seen baboons with better social skills.
There's been several occasions when the girls in the spa area have told me that some of their customers have had a treatment done and then because they couldn't hold themselves have had a pee or poo in the bins in the treatment rooms. There as also been several tampon and sanitary towel gift left behind for the therapists to clean up.
I had a bunch of young guys come in last week and right from the word go I could tell they were time wasters as they were trying to apply lip gloss to each other and generally messing up my counter. I went over to ask them if they were okay and they ask if I can put some make-up on them. I tell them the testers are right in from of them and they are welcome to use them if they wish to look silly. They then proceed to ask if they can apply gloss to me instead to which I flat out decline and by this point I'm rapidly loosing my patience. The they ask for my number to which they are told no and by this point I walk off before I punch one in the face.
My personal favourite though is one from the other day, this guy as been in before and generally behaves in a very odd way but he raised it up a notch to a whole new level of weird.
I see him approach the cosmetics area and he's clicking is tongue, patting is stomach, looking high as a kite and the more I look at him the more he looks like Rasputin from the movie Anastasia. He picks up the first perfume and proceeds to drown himself in half a bottle, picks up the next and does the same, and the next...
The whole time I'm watching him because I'm thinking "any minute now he's going to try to steal something" he finds a mirror, combs his hair with his hands and tells himself he looks "spiffing" then returns to spraying himself but by now is back is turned to me so I can't see what is doing properly, however I do catch him with both of his hand down his pants playing with himself!!
I look for security but there's no one there (there never is when you really need them but there's always loads when you don't) so I call the security office and tell them what's happened and give them a description and location (by now he's on my counter spraying himself and using the hands that have just touched is willy, gross, gross, gross).
He must have realised what I was up to because he bolts it out the main door at the speed of lightening before a member of security can reach shop floor.
When I speak to security he informs me that the man's details have been passed on to the rest of the mall security and they have just seen him enter the toilets to which my colleague states that he's probably gone to finish off his "Tommy Tank" (some of you may not be familiar with that expression but it basically means wank)
There's a lot more that I can't think of right now but I've always said I could write an highly entertaining book about that place.
